Guest markb4

How important is love in marriage?

44 posts in this topic

I am also not sure what love is. I would tend to classify the feelings I have with a new partner as "love"; the butterflies in the stomach, thinking about someone all the time, wanting lots of physical contact, etc. But maybe that's just infatuation, not real love. So then that begs the question, what is real love?

For me, when love has lasted in the longer term, it's because that infatuation was combined with a practical desire to be with a guy - because he was handsome, employed, took care of me and was nice to me, had similar interests and thoughts, and generally seemed compatible and a good catch. Being a good catch isn't sufficient by itself though; the infatuation part is still essential. Is that love, when someone seems like a good catch and you're also attracted to them and compatible?

If you don't feel those butterflies for your bf now, you may never feel them, and I couldn't live without that attraction in a relationship. But equally, attraction isn't enough; if you can't build a life with him in a practical sense then you're wasting your time. I think both things have to be present for a relationship to work.

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Personally the reason I've been waiting til marriage is....... have all you guys seen the video signs on here? Well pretty much thats what I want!!! Like meeting a girl out of the blue or even introduced and we just hit it off. Like we click instantly and its just like magic. Ive personally have never felt that with any girl I've dated, we've always have had to figure out each other and what not, but I really think when you meet your soul mate that wont happen...... Mayb am a hopless romantic but if I ever met a girl I could instantly click with and she met all the things I wanted in a girl i would marry her and spare no expense on making her mine :lol:

just my 2 cents

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to me love is everything in marriage. My parents had an arranged marriage but I want to marry someone that I am in love with. I want something different from what they had. My mom was not in love with my dad, she loved him but there is a difference.

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Hey everyone,

I decided to resurrect this post because it hasn't been commented on in over a year and a half and I'd like to know how our newer members feel about this topic since we all come from different cultures, countries, beliefs, etc.

 

So just to make it clear again: How important do you think love is in marriage? Undoubtedly, it's important! But is it the #1 thing that you need before you marry someone? Are compatibility or other factors more important? Etc?

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It's the number one thing for me to get married, if I don't love them, why on earth would I marry them?

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Love is the most important thing in a marriage. It cannot be the only thing because sometimes you love someone but it could not possibly work out because of other reasons. Sometimes you must love someone enough to let them go, if they don't return they were never yours. But you guys know how the saying goes. lol 

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1) Love and compatibility. I would marry someone I'm attracted to, has similar values and religion wise is a Monotheist (so my kids can have the same faith and will not be torn between two different faiths). I dont care for virginity but she must not be someone who sleeps around (I am not attracted to those types anyway).

 

2) I will never marry for something apart from love. If I had an arranged marriage then I would see no point in WTM'ing.

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I would agree that Love will be the foundation of any relationship that I would carry into marriage and its cornerstone I feel should be faith. You see love to me is indeed a very powerful emotion on its own but by itself its is just that but what makes it truly unique even unexplainable is faith. Because if you truly believe in something or in someone it is a miracle and an act of insanity because it is beyond reason, proof, or understanding. This is why for myself my faith and my beliefs need to be seamlessly tied to the one I marry but more than that my love for them becomes apart of my faith. So if things falter or fail and people or the world say 'you just can't believe in this' we will endure with love and faith. Semper Fidelis (Always Faithful)

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People marry for love? I'm just in it for the sex....  >_>

 

You have my respect.  :D

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I feel that love is motivation to work on all other aspects of a marriage. But I also feel if we are incompatible regardless of the love we share our union will be extremely difficult. In love you should be able to take someone as they are but if who they are gets in the way of you loving them wholeheartedly then you have to wonder if you're truly meant to be. So for me compatibility is the most important thing..with compatibility comes love. Just because a person loves another does not mean they are meant to be.  

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It is vitally important as it provides the foundation upon which the marriage is built.

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This, I tell you, brother. You can't have one without the other.

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I think it depends on the kind of love we're talking about. Is it the romantic, hearts and flowers, tons of passion kind of love? Or is it the kind of love characterized by deep friendship and loyalty? The first one tends to come and go over the course of a relationship, but I can't see any marriage functioning without that second kind of love.

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Love is vital in a marriage, but I think it's important for couples to realize that you won't always feel that dizzy, crazy, head-over-heels, butterflies love. That's one reason I really like The Five Love Languages because it talks about the need for couples to show their love for each other, in the other person's love language, to keep a marriage going after the "exciting" stage is over.

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I don't think love is important, in the way most people would say. I think to say that, I would be using love as a noun. As a verb, love is the most important thing you can DO in a marriage, and if I could simplify it I would say that I think it boils down to effort.

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