Sophie

Why are straight guys so cautious about hugging each other?

13 posts in this topic

We girls call it the "straight-guy hug." Clasp hands, bump shoulders, pat each other on the back (usually twice,) hips never touch, and then jump back away from each other as far as possible (okay, made up the last part.) But seriously, why? I've even seen brothers hug each other like that, and fathers and sons. Other "straight-guy greetings" are fist-bumps or pats on the shoulder, etc. I'm not saying guys should leap into each others arms, squealing and jumping around like girls do, just fyi.

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Some guys do regular hugs, but usually they're really close to each other. Most guys consider a regular hug as a too affectionate. The straight guy hug is considered to be a manly way to greeting because it's not too affectionate. In our culture, too much affection between two guys = gay. Guys generally go out of their way to avoid looking gay, sometimes to ridiculous extremes...unless they are joking around :)

As a general rule, I usually give regular hugs to girls just because girls tend to be more touchy feely. I rarely give hugs of any kind to guys except maybe one or two of them. Usually I just give them a handshake.

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I usually only hug another guy during an emotionally charged occasion, like a funeral or wedding - a brief neck hug. Sometimes a shoulder bump. And I usually know these guys very well. So there is no guessing about whether they are gay or straight.

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As a general rule, I usually give regular hugs to girls just because girls tend to be more touchy feely. I rarely give hugs of any kind to guys except maybe one or two of the, Usually I just give them a handshake.

I'm with you on this. I tend to give girls a hug (at least the ones I consider friends). With guys, maybe give hugs to those I know really well, but most of the time I prefer the handshake as my way of greeting guys.

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I remember back in high school when a fad started where guys would give each other these over-enthusiastic hugs in the hallways, typically while changing classes, or at other times when lots of people were around.

It was hilarious, because they were playfully mocking the types of hugs that girls would give each other. It helped bring to light the ridiculousness of some of the girls embraces, considering the known cattiness that went along with a lot of them anyway.

Really, I think this just comes down to how men and women are wired different. We get the same thing out of a firm handshake with one of our buddies as a girl gets out of a warm embrace with one of her girlfriends. Us men can hug it out, we just don't tend to find it necessary as a way to express fondness for one another.

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It's also cultural. In Europe, a common greeting is the cheek kiss - both cheeks. Both men and women do this, with either gender, and this is totally normal. I haven't seen the awkward hugging in Europe.

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I have honostly never did that girl hug where they hug and jump and squeel.

I actually do the 'guy hug' sometimes. I also do this hug where you stand next to each other and you use one arm and reach across the persons back.

Those are sometimes. I do a lot of fist-bumping.

I really only hug a couple girls, it's like our thing. But mind you it's never that 'girl hug'. So overall, i'm not too much of a hugger to a lot of people. When I do, it's either that side-hug or 'guy hug'. Unless of course it's those few select girls. Hugs are special, and I like to save them for special people. So when I do hug someone, it's very special to me :wub:

I know this is ask the guys, but I thought I would throw in my two cents. :D

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Funny question lol, I'm not sure but I think it's just that guys for the most part aren't comfortable being that affectionate with other guys, myself included. I would just feel weird about it. A handshake is much more preferred lol.

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We girls call it the "straight-guy hug." Clasp hands, bump shoulders, pat each other on the back (usually twice,) hips never touch, and then jump back away from each other as far as possible (okay, made up the last part.) But seriously, why? I've even seen brothers hug each other like that, and fathers and sons. Other "straight-guy greetings" are fist-bumps or pats on the shoulder, etc. I'm not saying guys should leap into each others arms, squealing and jumping around like girls do, just fyi.

Because if they do it, they aren't straight. (Kidding...)

I've even seen brothers hug each other like that, and fathers and sons.

It's strange that you should say that, because as far as I know, those are the only cases where it's "acceptable."

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In my experience, most men make poor hugging material simply because they smell bad. Of course, there are exceptions to the rule (like myself; my delightful aroma just happens to be a peppy melange of cheap aftershave and my last meal). But men are more likely than women to neglect their daily hygiene rituals. I'd rather not hug anyone with that acrid, corn chippy smell.

Thankfully, those few men that are sensitive souls enough to actually benefit from the occasional male-on-male hug are usually more likely than most of his gender to bathe regularly. So it all works out.

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I have honostly never did that girl hug where they hug and jump and squeel.

I actually do the 'guy hug' sometimes. I also do this hug where you stand next to each other and you use one arm and reach across the persons back.

Those are sometimes. I do a lot of fist-bumping.

I really only hug a couple girls, it's like our thing. But mind you it's never that 'girl hug'. So overall, i'm not too much of a hugger to a lot of people. When I do, it's either that side-hug or 'guy hug'. Unless of course it's those few select girls. Hugs are special, and I like to save them for special people. So when I do hug someone, it's very special to me :wub:

I know this is ask the guys, but I thought I would throw in my two cents. :D

Oh me too....I find it weird doing the whole squeelly huggy thing with my friends. I dont know why because Im very affectionate with my family but I think I just find the whole girly huggy thing to be a bit insincere or something. I never went in for it. The only time I hug friends is if they are one of my very close friends and I genuinely havent seen them for months due to them moving away etc.

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In my experience, most men make poor hugging material simply because they smell bad. Of course, there are exceptions to the rule (like myself; my delightful aroma just happens to be a peppy melange of cheap aftershave and my last meal). But men are more likely than women to neglect their daily hygiene rituals. I'd rather not hug anyone with that acrid, corn chippy smell.

Thankfully, those few men that are sensitive souls enough to actually benefit from the occasional male-on-male hug are usually more likely than most of his gender to bathe regularly. So it all works out.

Ha this made me chuckle at my computer screen. Thank God no-one was around to hear as I might have seemed a bit crazy!! :D

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Yeah a few other members already answered this rather well...basically comes down to homophobia and fear of showing too much emotion.

I find great joy in hugging men that I know can't stand it! Seeing their skin crawl and the look of shock and confusion on their faces makes me laugh inside:lol:   For these types, I will not bump my ass out (which is genetically wired into all straight males, to put as much hip-to-hip or as others refer to.. tip-to-tip distance) I will bring em in and give a firm, semi-awkwardly long embrace....I did this more when i was younger not so much now....expect for a few uncles that are old and only like to give men hand shakes lol:lol: I just push their hand aside and hug...and it's hilarious...Ohh and my brother and i would do this when my sister would introduce a bf to us for the first time...:lol:

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