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Tempest Desh

Tempest Desh

6 posts in this topic

Just got a question...as I need some advice. Anyone who's read my last posts probably knows my situation. The thing is, I wanted to re-connect with the girl that that fiasco occurred with. I've come to conclusion that it was really nothing on her part. She was interested and other people conspired to stop us from having anything. But, with my heart being where it is...and my desire to at least explain myself to her and make amends...as everything arose out of misunderstandings and sabotage, I feel it necessary to make an attempt at this. Besides, over the last three months, aside from all this reflection, I have made the effort to strengthen myself in my faith and to open my mind in ways that I never did before (music, etc.). Hence, I feel that, with Ramadan drawing to a close, this may be my last chance to at least set things right between us. I just needed some advice on how to do this. I mean, I do have the fear of the friend zone...but I have that nagging feeling that I was never really there, to begin with. Just trying to find out how (being so dead-set on this) I should go about it. Thanks in advance.

Tempest Desh

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this sounds like a great idea td! You're being respectful and calm about it which will come across. Make sure you tell her that Ramadam has allowed you to reflect and realise because it opens up the chance for a clean slate because i'm sure she will be more forgiving and understandable. I think that sometimes it's so much easier to write everything down than say it face to face because you forget what to say or you don't get it all out. Either write everything down then read it out to her, or email it all to her, text it all to her or give it to her. If you just send it to her it can be more nerve wrecking in case she doesn't reply but it gives her the chance to take her time. I'm sure you will be fine. Just don't blame her in what you write. Apologise and be very mature about everything that has happened. I hope that has helped! And completely off topic, how do you manage to fast between sunrise and sunset!? I commend you! I couldn't even give up tea for a day!

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Thanks Anna. I really do appreciate your responding to this. The only thing I'm worried about is her family and that other guy. Also, I'm basically just gonna try and break the ice with a short, simple, non-committal message, basically saying that I was just thinking about her (after listening to a song by her favorite music artist) and was just wondering how things were with her and that I hoped her Ramadan was going well...and just leave it at that. As for fasting, I remember the first time was kinda hard...but, if you remind yourself of why you're doing it (i.e. for the sake of God), it eventually becomes easier. I'm sure that's what Catholics would say about fasting Lent. And, the funny/ironic thing is, I actually get sad when Ramadan is ending/over, 'cause of the spiritual high one gets...along with all the guidance and visions I've had, as of late.

See ya on the flipside,

Tempest Desh

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Hey Tempest D!

Yeah, I agree with Anna: you have to try and sort things out with her.

Also, I'm basically just gonna try and break the ice with a short, simple, non-committal message, basically saying that I was just thinking about her (after listening to a song by her favorite music artist) and was just wondering how things were with her and that I hoped her Ramadan was going well...and just leave it at that.

Sounds like a good plan! She's a girl, and girls tend to see between the lines on stuff like that. A bit of small-talk, ask her how she is, then...see where it goes.

I think you have to try, see how she feels about you. Even if you don't get the answer you want, it's better to know. I'm in a weird possition at the moment with the guy I liked for ages, because I just found out he kissed one of my best friends at a party... yeah, I don't think there's a future for us. But you're better off knowing, even if it isn't what you want to hear...

As as Catholic, I can confirm that giving up stuff for Lent is indeed hard at first, until you remember why you're doing it! This year, I gave up chocolate, sweets, crisps (that's potato chips, btw) popcorn, ice cream, etc. Yeah, it was difficult, but it was a lot more fun on Easter Sunday when I got to tuck into my Easter eggs! (Bit like your wedding night when you wait till marriage, maybe? Giving up stuff for Lent or Ramadan seems to be good for developing your self control!)

xxx

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Okay, I'm going ahead with this. However, I did try a FB friend request...and cancelled it. Hope it doesn't mess things up. But, I'm still gonna try.

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Sounds like a good plan :)

I don't know to be honest! I don't think Lent is as intense as Ramadam or it never has been for me anyway. This year I didn't even give up food I gave up facebook instead! It definitely felt like I was being cleansed of something that I'm addicted to though but I don't find myself increasing in prayer or studying the bible or anything. I don't think I have strong enough will power-I get distracted too easily during prayer. The most spiritual I ever feel is when I go on a pilgrimage to lourdes to help the sick. Going to mass every day and spending time in a place so full of faith is what helps me connect with God. It's a shame I can't continue it as strongly when I'm back home! I suppose it is like how you feel at the end of Ramadam. You gradually return to the reality of life and aren't as at peace!

I would ADORE to go to a Buddhist sanctuary for a month or something and just be so secluded in meditation. I think it is so good to escape the world! Sorry for changing this into religious ramblings! I must sound a little crazy! haha.

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