Finally! A place where I feel welcomed...

[loyalhero90 297]

Hello all,

I am a 20 year old college student and I practice abstinence so no drinking to get drunk, no drugs and no sex until marriage. I am really happy I have found this website. I have friends in college but none of them really take sex seriously and it is slightly frustrating sometimes. I just feel so alone and I'm always called the "hopeless romantic" or even a prude because of my beliefs. I was raised southern baptist which has influenced my beliefs but they are my own decisions.

I never have really understood how some of my friends can go through loveless relationships and have sex with people they don't really know. With such a relationship it just seems so empty and in the end causing unnecessary pain. I believe that the body is sacred and should not be used in such a way.

I also believe that sex is an important step that should be between a married man and a woman who love each other very deeply. Sex is not just some act that all animals. from lust but the way life is born. Life is precious and beautiful and such an act that can produce something so beautiful should not be taken so lightly.

When I get married I want to make love with my husband not just some random guy who just wants me for my body.

I hope I don't sound prudish I just take my vows seriously. I'm tired of being ridiculed because I practice abstinence by the same people who want social acceptance.

Thanks,

Loyalhero

[loyalhero90 297]

Thank you for the support FlowerBee!

[Sally 2,368]

Loyalhero,

I understand where you're coming from-----the whole emotional aspect to everything physical is very important to me. I want it to really be an expression of love <3 Not just random hookups, etc. Feelings really have to be there for me to enjoy kissing, amking out, etc. with someone. I'm excited to feel like we're both so excited so finally share it (sex) with one another !

[AliceInRavenclaw 4]

Hey

Yep, I definitely feel your pain. I just graduated from college and in the years that I was there I went from having a group of close friends who pretty much all happened to be virgins for one reason or another to seeing all but one lose their V-cards. Not all to meaningless sex, some of them got in pretty serious relationships, but still. And then my friend who is still a virgin says that she doesn't want to wait til marriage, just til she's in a decent relationship. It's a bummer.

I hate people who call us prudes. That has become the go to insult.

Did you see on that other thread where some people decided we should take back the word "prudes"? Pretty great idea, IMO.

[loyalhero90 297]

Thank you Sally! I'm really exited about meeting you too! It's nice to have people who understand and agree that the expression of love is very important.

[loyalhero90 297]

Thank you AliceInRavenclaw! We should take back the word "prudes" !

[Sally 2,368]

ThatGuy,

Tnak you sooo much!! I only hope that what I do now does help in me finding a fufuilling relationship with a man someday I just ready Every Woman's Battle....I assume you have probably heard of Every Man's Battle since you said you are a devout Christian? What did you think about it?

[Sally 2,368]

No one recommended it to me either; I "stumbled" upon it at a Christian bookstore nearby. I was just looking around and that seemed to fit what I was looking for.

I agree it definitly talks about things that are generally 'taboo' (lust, fantasies, masturbation, cheating) and really helps me understand what goes into the kind of fulfilling relatinship I"m looking for. For women, it helped us figure out the messages we send when wearing certain outfits (kind of common sense but some parts are still helpful), the way we interact with guys, our emotional attachments, etc. I kind of want to read the men's one just to understand "the other side" so to speak, you know?

Women do struggle with their craving for emotional connection. When they don't have a guy, family and friends can meet emotional connections, but what about physical? Some mild tings help like hugs or massages from friends, but it's still not enouhg. I love how the author emphasizes that women have needs too---people at first didn't think women struggle with sexual issues...umm duh we're human too =P My thing was the fantasizing, wishing things were a certian way with a certian guy or going back to "the way things were" and wanting to recreate that---emotionally, physically etc. It's not healthy she says for your current or future husband. He may not 'be' a certian way you imagine---sexually, physcially (build/looks), emotionally, etc. You can have certain expectations of someone I guess is what she's trying to get at.

[Sally 2,368]

No problem! It's always nice to get that once in awhile....sometimes I think I need to hear a guy's point of view more oten but I don't really have any guy friends =/

[loyalhero90 297]

Thank you ThatGuy,

I agree with Sally that it really is nice to hear a guy's point of view once in a while. Your comment was very sweet and encouraging! And thanks Sally and ThatGuy for your comments I really want to read "Every Woman's Battle" now. It seems really insightful. Thank you all again. I feel so welcome and safe.

[Guest markb4]

Welcome loyalhero90,

This is a wonderful website/forum of friendly, loving, and caring people all with the same goal in mind. And we are all here to help and support each other through the journey . I'm a guy and I agree 100% with what you said about how sex shouldn't be animalistic lust between body-hungry people, but something pure and beautiful that transcends between a husband and his wife. May God help us all reach our goals.

[Aditya 92]

Hey loyalhero90,

It is really nice to see members like you who are so determined about their decisions! It makes the all the rest of us believe that we too are in the right track & more importantly… NOT AT ALL ALONE! All of us here share almost the same story of being ridiculed by the society, feeling alone, suffocating amidst promiscuous people, etc. But at the end of the day we know what we are standing for! I am 21 & never ever in my life have I touched alcohol & cigarettes… let alone drugs! This was a personal choice & religion had hardly anything to do with this decision. Although I respect all religions yet you can’t really call me ‘religious’! One can hardly see me climbing up & down the temple stairs! But whatever may our reasons be… the bottom line is we are on the path of righteousness.

I believe in true love & it is divine! So, I am totally saving myself for that special one! It is something I really BELIEVE in! Sex is an eternal bond of love that consummates the romance between two souls. That makes it something very SACRED. It can never be mistaken for a sport meant to be played with different people, according to availability! Or else what will be so special & exclusive between married couples???!! So I decided to refrain from any sexual activity till marriage. Don’t get me wrong… I am not against a girl liking a guy or vice versa… but they must know where to DRAW THE LINEs!

I really appreciate your resolve & hope that this resolve bears you fruit very soon!

Good Luck!