Sally

Jeff Bethke

12 posts in this topic

I agree with his tips 110%---I've seen people follow those and those who don't and I'd def rather be like the couples I've seen who follow tips like that !!

Especially the #1 on girls---I'd be rich if I got a dime for every time I knew a girl who treated her bf like her God and didn't know how to live without a bf.

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I've seen that vid before I absolutely love that!!

A-freaking-men on the tips!

And I wish more guys followed number 2...because those who don't give all guys a bad rap. There are just too many guys who think they're players...*shakes head*

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Great stuff!

I see guys fail at number 4 for guys A LOT which I myself and guilty of.

Number 5 for girls is very important for girls especially these days when many fathers aren't involved in their children's lives. It's been said a girl tends to go for guys who are like her dad. Fathers have a huge responsibility to be a great model for the kind of man his little girl should look for.

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I like the blog. I also like his dating tips, Thanks for sharing, :).

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Jefferson Bethke

Ladies, sometimes the way u watch chick flicks, or read romance novels, can be as bas as a guy watchin porn. A guy wont save u. Jesus will.

This was from his facebook status today. What do you ladies on here think of this ?!

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This was his follow up post to clarify the last one:

Jefferson Bethke

To clarify last post: I said it "can" be as bad as porn. Not always. Also I wasn't saying they were the same by action, but by heart affections. When a woman reads a romance novel or watches a chick flick and lusts after that man or relationship as what will satisfy or meet her deepest needs then that's idolatry, which is what the sin of porn is also. Exchanging creation for the Creator can take m...any different faces but in the heart it's clinging to something that ultimately won't satisfy. So to the ladies out there who watch or read them for fun, this post wasn't addressed to you. For Pete's sake, chick flicks are pretty awesome sometimes (don't tell anyone I said that though lol). Hope that helps clarify.

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I'm not a girl, obviously :) but this is something I've thought about quite a bit. I pretty much agree with his assessment, sometimes chick flicks can be just as harmful as porn. I think the difference is the porn is universally harmful while chick flicks can be enjoyed for it's own sake as a form of entertainment. The problem is that the romance genre is marketed almost exclusively to females for a reason. The industry knows that girls tend to be wired by emotions, so I think when they watch or read this stuff, these emotions become awakened.

All women want to feel desired and beautiful and most want to be pursued by a man who will love and cherish her. That's perfectly natural and normal, I think. But these feelings can often times cloud one's judgment when we witness certain ideals. The way many chick flicks are portrayed often includes a seemingly perfect guy with little to no flaws who tends to the girls every need and knows exactly what she wants and needs. This can lead to a girl to have unrealistic expectations about love and ultimately cause her to idolize a relationship or a man. Often times, it blinds her from seeing his faults. Just look at the Twilight series. So many girls love that series and idolize Edward Cullen. Yet when I read it, I was shocked at how all these girls could no see how abusive this guy was. This happens a lot without chick flicks or romance novels in the equation. You look at how so many girls jump from relationship to relationship because they feel like they need a man to feel validated, regardless of how abusive he is. That is clearly idolatry in the same way guys look at a VS model and view her as a goddess.

Bethke is absolutely right when he says a man can't save you, only Jesus can. In real life, you can certainly expect to find a guy who will love you with all his heart and will be utterly faithful to you, but he will be imperfect and have many flaws just like you. He is not a mind reader, in fact most of us are pretty oblivious to signals anyways. Real relationships require a lot of work and communication. Now, I wouldn't mind if a gf or wife wanted to watch a chick flick with me on occasion, but knowing all this I couldn't help but feel like she would be comparing me or our relationship to what is on the TV screen.

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This was his status today:

Sad to see so many ladies today in churches who are never pursued because most guys would rather eat Cheetos & play video games all day.

I legit LOL'd at my computer....do any of you know anyone like that ?

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I hear what he's saying, but that's simply not true in my case. I play lots of video games and I'm always the one pursuing. I swear, people blame everything that's wrong with society on video games. Plus what does he have against Cheetos? They're delicious :)

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I love him! Both he and his wife are very inspirational people and their advice has been absolutely wonderful.

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I'm not a girl, obviously :) but this is something I've thought about quite a bit. I pretty much agree with his assessment, sometimes chick flicks can be just as harmful as porn. I think the difference is the porn is universally harmful while chick flicks can be enjoyed for it's own sake as a form of entertainment. The problem is that the romance genre is marketed almost exclusively to females for a reason. The industry knows that girls tend to be wired by emotions, so I think when they watch or read this stuff, these emotions become awakened.

All women want to feel desired and beautiful and most want to be pursued by a man who will love and cherish her. That's perfectly natural and normal, I think. But these feelings can often times cloud one's judgment when we witness certain ideals. The way many chick flicks are portrayed often includes a seemingly perfect guy with little to no flaws who tends to the girls every need and knows exactly what she wants and needs. This can lead to a girl to have unrealistic expectations about love and ultimately cause her to idolize a relationship or a man. Often times, it blinds her from seeing his faults. Just look at the Twilight series. So many girls love that series and idolize Edward Cullen. Yet when I read it, I was shocked at how all these girls could no see how abusive this guy was. This happens a lot without chick flicks or romance novels in the equation. You look at how so many girls jump from relationship to relationship because they feel like they need a man to feel validated, regardless of how abusive he is. That is clearly idolatry in the same way guys look at a VS model and view her as a goddess.

Bethke is absolutely right when he says a man can't save you, only Jesus can. In real life, you can certainly expect to find a guy who will love you with all his heart and will be utterly faithful to you, but he will be imperfect and have many flaws just like you. He is not a mind reader, in fact most of us are pretty oblivious to signals anyways. Real relationships require a lot of work and communication. Now, I wouldn't mind if a gf or wife wanted to watch a chick flick with me on occasion, but knowing all this I couldn't help but feel like she would be comparing me or our relationship to what is on the TV screen.

I'm a girl and I'm totally agree with you Invincible !  ^_^

Saddly, chick flicks or reading novels when they are not well managed can be dangerously  addictive for some women. I share your opinion about this and about the other stuffs also...

Well said !

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