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Arwen4CJ posted a topic in Topics About Waiting and/or RelationshipsI contend that maintaining purity is about more than being a person who is technically waiting to have sex until after the wedding. I know some may disagree with me on this, and that is okay....but allow me to rant a bit. Someone messaged me on chat (on this site) just now and asked me if I had any nude pictures. I said that I did not, and then the person asked me if I could send them some. I told them that I could, but that I would not do so, and they wanted to know why....so this is my answer. And I asked them why they wanted nude pictures, already knowing that the only reason someone would want them would be to stimulate themselves sexually. They confirmed this was what they wanted to do... So then I asked them if they were waiting to have sex until marriage, and they said yes. This made me think that this guy did not think about sexual purity in the same way that I do, and this man is not alone in this way of thinking. While I think it is commendable for a person to physically remain sexually pure until marriage, there is still a lot more to purity. Now, people have different reasons for waiting, so I am really talking to people who have similar views about marriage and sex and waiting as me, particularly religious reasons.... If a person is waiting until marriage to have sex because they want to honor God, and they also want to honor their future spouse, and they want to save every bit of themselves, then we must work to be as pure as we can in our thought life. Everyone is going to have thoughts pop in their head that are not pure, and those thoughts themselves are not sin. However, they are temptations. The moment we choose not to dismiss the impure thought, and instead choose to dwell on it, to take that thought further and further, than we are not really being loving to our future spouse, or honoring to God. If we give nude pictures of ourselves away, posting them for any person to see, then we are taking something that should be reserved for our future spouse, and letting another person see us, and lust over us. The only man who I want to see me naked is the person that I will marry. My body is for his eyes alone. It is not for some random guy on the Internet who I don't even know to look at and imagine having sex with me, etc. Pornography is NOT honoring to a future spouse. Jesus said that lusting after someone amounts to the same sin as actually committing adultery. Also, if a person gets in the habit of looking at porn now, even if they are waiting until after the wedding to have sex, then who is to say that the person will stop looking at porn once they are married? Who is to say that the person will look to their spouse as sexually satisfying? Some of the bodies in porn have been digitally altered, so it is very possible that the person into porn might be looking at a fake body that no real woman's body could compete with. Seriously, porn can be very damaging. Also, if a person gets into looking at pictures to stimulate themselves, then they are not guarding their heart for their future spouse. Letting your mind go, traveling in the direction of what to do with a person sexually will make your commitment to wait to have sex all that much more harder. You've already given your mind to it -- just not your body -- so you are going to struggle. You are making it so much more difficult for yourself. Plus, you're still not valuing a woman as a woman (or a man for a man). For men, they are still viewing women as sex objects -- beings that are to be consumed with the eyes and lusted after, which continues to contribute to our sex addicted society. This in turn makes it harder for those who want to wait until marriage to have sex. Men tend to be tempted more visually, I think. For women, our temptations run more on the emotional side. (This isn't black and white, but just in general). We can get ourselves into trouble by dwelling on thoughts where we compare men -- when we are married, we might compare our husband to another man, and then we might fantasize about what the man might say to us, or what it would be like to be in a relationship with him, etc. We all need to work to guard our hearts physically and emotionally and with our thought life.... Come on, we can do better than this. We don't have to use the world's standards.