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Viva posted a topic in Topics About Waiting and/or RelationshipsI can't understand why men believe that their sexual life wouldn't affect their wives. I am a female married to a non-waiter. We were together for 7 years before it. He did wait for me. I never had any problem with his past. But on wedding night, he proved he was not different from Tom, Dick and Harry. He wanted us to "practice" instead of actually doing it and oh, he wanted the thing to happen in our future apartment. That night continues to impact our lives. Many of the things that come in my head about him are extremely demeaning and I noticed men use them for women all the time. The strange thing is that those things are flowing naturally for which I can't even call myself judgmental. We did talk about the issue and he no more wanted to wait for the apartment. But the second and third time we tried turned out to be disappointing. It was very easy to see that there was no passion in what he was doing. He was "mechanical". I smelled his past in it also. Unfortunately, I find the idea of bringing "experience" to the bed offensive. I have no wish to see what he did with his previous 2 women. He again wanted me to speak about what happened. He now says what he heard from me makes him numb about sex. Media laments over women feeling ashamed about their sex lives. Here my husband says he is going through it so badly all day that he has lost his self confidence. Meanwhile, I keep feeling guilty for betraying myself by marrying him. I fear coming across the two women and feeling humiliated. I can't find any solution. My mental condition is deteriorating because I keep thinking how I am not his first and that I should have listened to my parents about the advantage of looking for men from law, medicine or other tough majors. Most of them are virgin because they know they will easily settle down. My husband has become clingier than ever. He keeps giving me suicide threats and cries like crazy. He keeps begging me to see him as a virgin, but I can't reject the truth. I wish the media and men would understand that not all women are okay with males randomly sleeping around. I wish they would not let unmarried people write about the joy of premarital sex. Mind goes through a huge change after marriage. We finally begin to see that sex is actually made for husband and wife. Anything done before it will always backfire somewhere in the future. There is no double standard. It is just that some women have lowered their standard.
lol, i didnt know how to word the question. But like I'm waiting until I get married to have sex, I'm 23 btw, but I've done everything but sex, because when I was younger I didnt really know God, and all my friends had had sex and I guess I didnt want to feel to "weird" or w/e. But I still never had sex with anyone because in highschool, I wanted to be in love before I had sex, and that didnt happen, and after highschool I though I waited so long, I might as well wait until I get married because It will be so special to be with just the person you marry, and Then once I really Got to know God and started having a relationship with him I decided it's 100 percent what i want to do, and i wish I would have waited on everything, but like i want to marry someone thats also a virgin, but if someone is a virgin and waiting until marriage, then he's probably tottaly a virgin. So I guess my question is, do you think a virgin guy whos waiting until marriage will still think its special even though I've done everything else with someone else, or just feel like theyre being with someone who didnt wait?