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How comfortable are you with physical affection? Is it off putting if someone you like has problems with physical contact? What comes to your mind when you notice someone seems to have this problem? So I ran into one of my old roommates today and she approached me for a hug but it was so awkward and even though I am really fond of her and think she's super sweet I did not want to hug her. I think she could sense this so she instead went for one of those one armed side hugs (the only hugs I give even though I'm not comfortable with it). The last time I was approached for a hug was months ago by a guy I liked and he asked me so many times for a hug but I wouldn't hug him.Again, I really wanted to hug this person but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I was very uncomfortable with the idea. And the way he gestured with his arms all the way open meant that he wanted a real hug, a full embrace. He told me that he love hugging and touching and he always seemed to find a reason to touch me or brush up against me, but I never touched him or attempted to touch him once. I'm wondering if this helped drive him away. Also a while back, a friend once told me that I give the worst hugs. Which may be true, because I never know how to hug but it made a lasting impression on me because it kinda made me more self conscious about it since then. In short I'm just not used to physical contact. I have mentioned a couple of times on this site how my family doesn't, really show much physical affection. As a child I wasn't held a lot (my family doesn't think you should coddle a child because it makes them too dependent and attached). Then I've also never had touchy-feely friends growing up (I use to see other girls doing things like hugging, linking arms, etc. with friends, and I just never had friends that did that), So I am now realizing that I have a potential serious problem. I am very worried about my future relationships and wonder if this has caused people to turn away from me (like my second example there).
So, I'm a very touch-centered person who loves hugs and cuddling, even with people I just see as friends. However, when in a dating situation, these things have often seemed to send the wrong message, especially kissing. As someone who's WTM, does anyone else encounter this problem? How have other waiters who love touch and closeness avoided temptation when dating? How do you make sure your partner understands the barriers you've put in place while still engaging in some non-sexual physical closeness? Does allowing such non-sexual contact (hand-holding, hugs, cuddling, maybe kissing) cause more frustration than no contact?