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Viva posted a topic in Topics About Waiting and/or RelationshipsI can't understand why men believe that their sexual life wouldn't affect their wives. I am a female married to a non-waiter. We were together for 7 years before it. He did wait for me. I never had any problem with his past. But on wedding night, he proved he was not different from Tom, Dick and Harry. He wanted us to "practice" instead of actually doing it and oh, he wanted the thing to happen in our future apartment. That night continues to impact our lives. Many of the things that come in my head about him are extremely demeaning and I noticed men use them for women all the time. The strange thing is that those things are flowing naturally for which I can't even call myself judgmental. We did talk about the issue and he no more wanted to wait for the apartment. But the second and third time we tried turned out to be disappointing. It was very easy to see that there was no passion in what he was doing. He was "mechanical". I smelled his past in it also. Unfortunately, I find the idea of bringing "experience" to the bed offensive. I have no wish to see what he did with his previous 2 women. He again wanted me to speak about what happened. He now says what he heard from me makes him numb about sex. Media laments over women feeling ashamed about their sex lives. Here my husband says he is going through it so badly all day that he has lost his self confidence. Meanwhile, I keep feeling guilty for betraying myself by marrying him. I fear coming across the two women and feeling humiliated. I can't find any solution. My mental condition is deteriorating because I keep thinking how I am not his first and that I should have listened to my parents about the advantage of looking for men from law, medicine or other tough majors. Most of them are virgin because they know they will easily settle down. My husband has become clingier than ever. He keeps giving me suicide threats and cries like crazy. He keeps begging me to see him as a virgin, but I can't reject the truth. I wish the media and men would understand that not all women are okay with males randomly sleeping around. I wish they would not let unmarried people write about the joy of premarital sex. Mind goes through a huge change after marriage. We finally begin to see that sex is actually made for husband and wife. Anything done before it will always backfire somewhere in the future. There is no double standard. It is just that some women have lowered their standard.
Suppose you were given the opportunity to send a telegram to your future husband/wife. You only had 10 seconds to record your message. You're not allowed to tell them your name, where you are, or give hints on how to find you. What would you want them to know at this very moment... what will you say to the future love of your life? It can be as serious or silly as you choose to make it, but remember this is your only chance to speak to them until the day you unite. In my fastest speaking voice possible...I'd say something to the effect of... I'm still here still waiting...enjoy life..don't get TOO CRAZY...stay strong...when you think life is out of love to give remember the love I have for you is limitless...be ready for us you handsome man..love ya... =p
I have a lot of "specific" things I want in a man. Not physical, but I don't want a buff man really. 1: Must love Jesus as God and be a holy man. Pentacostal but not "United Petacostal" cause God never said a woman wearing pants was a sin. 2: Must be sweet, funny, gentle and understanding. 3: Must love animals and my crazy family. 4: Must be okay with my medical problems and the fack I may not be able to have kids. Only maybe. 5: Must be like my prayer so I can be the best wife for him as he will be the best husband for me. "My prayer to my future husband." Post "Amen" if you agree. I pray my future husband will be gentleman, but still know how to make me laugh. I pray that he will love me and ONLY me, that he will love me FOR me, that he will never cheat on me or lie to me. I pray that he will know me very well, that he will RESPECT me, that he will understand and EXCEPT my epilepsy. I pray that he will be a great husband to me, and a great father to our children. I pray that he is a Godly man who lives a Godly life and will grow closer to God with me. I pray that we will truly love each other with all our hearts, but love God more. I pray that our love and relationship will last till death do us part, and that we will be able to have happy, healthy children together. I pray that God will help me to be a great wife to my husband, and a great mother to our children. I pray that God will help me to never cheat on my husband or lie to him. Amen." By Amber Kathleen Henley My post on Facebook.