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Found 5 results

  1. Hi everyone! My name is Hunter you can read my introduction post on the "introduce yourself" forum. I wanted to begin by telling you all about my situation. I just recently got into a new relationship after 2 years of gloriously being single and only worrying about school and getting all A's. However, I have never really learned to trust people or be emotionally stable. It's something I've always struggled with. In my younger years, I had two very best friends. Friend A killed himself and friend B started hanging around the "popular" groups and left me behind. After that, I have been emotionally wrecked and heartbroken. I just feel like I can't trust anyone without them eventually betraying me. If you read my introduction, you will know I am big on waiting until marriage to have any sexual contact. I told my boyfriend at the beginning of our current relationship I was planning to wait until marriage. Part of the reasons I fell for him was because I thought he was a good Christian man and I really just kinda felt like he and I fit perfectly. He was class president of his senior year and was really involved with school just like me! The first week of college, he said something funny in class and I turned around and smiled at him and he smiled back. That following Monday he came up to me and introduced himself and instantly I felt a connection with him. However, when we started sharing stories of our past relationships he told me that he had sex once with the girl he just broke up with this past May. They had dated for 1 year and he was planning on waiting until marriage but she pushed it and he gave in. I honestly felt sick to my stomach after hearing this. I felt like crying so I did. It still haunts me and we've been dating for over two months now. All over facebook, I can still see pictures of them at the fair, christmas time, etc. His ex-girlfriend never took them down and he still has one of them on his Instagram and facebook. The pictures showed them gazing into each other's eyes, him sitting on her lap with his arms around her, and wrapped in each other's embrace. Every time I am with him it feels right, but then this feeling of how he has already given himself away haunts me to the point of insanity. I just feel like I can never truly be happy without a feeling of desolation overcoming me. I don't want to sound dramatic but even though it's been a couple months since they've broken up, I still feel like they share a connection. When he showed me a song the other day, it was romantic of course, a song lyric line was inferring sex and I just kinda wanted to break down and scream out WHY??? It's like at this point I want to feel an emotional connection with him but there is like this wrong feeling that creeps up. He told me that he regretted doing it but for some reason, it just haunts me all the freaking time. All I feel is sadness and anger. It's like something broke in me at a young age and was never able to reheal. How does one deal with something like this? How do you learn to trust someone without sharing too much information with them? Any tips for keeping your anger under control or emotions in check?
  2. Motivation Thread

    One of the best thing I know is seeing those motivational quotes or stories that just kick-starts your motivation. So I thought we should have a thread about it. Share your favourite quotes, pictures, videos and anything that motivates you. Feeling down? Need motivation? Sometimes its hard to start something new or keep just going. Share your thoughts and you'll surely get lifted right back up with new-found inspiration from others
  3. Hey, guys! I'll keep this as brief as possible. Here's the problem. I can't flirt. Not at all. In my entire life, I can recall two occasions in which I thought a guy might be interested in me and tried to respond. Here we go... #1 (a few years ago, and the most 'successful' of the two) The only reason this wasn't a complete disaster was because he was very awkward, too. Basically, guy behind counter of charity shop I visited begins making small-talk with me. He's very talkative, spouting nonsense (actual excerpt: "I mean, how can you have low fat mayonnaise? The two ingredients are EGG and FAT! *laughs hysterically*"), but I found that endearing and cute. My responses were mostly nods, the occasional one word answer, and smiles. Eventually, there was a long pause as we both realised that I'd paid for my stuff and it was time to leave the shop, and I just said, "Well...bye, then! Have a nice day! *wave*". #2 (earlier today, hence the reason for this post) I'm on holiday in this little village and there's a really cute guy who's got a guitar and is busking (maybe raising money for charity, or just practising, whatever). At one point, I feel brave enough to catch his eye and smile, and he smiles back, and I feel all fuzzy inside. So I hang around listening to him from a little while away (I'm with my family, so have to hang around near the shops they're in), and every now and then there's that smile again. So I go up and give him some money, and he says "Thank you." And then he says, "What's up?" Now, that would be the cue for me to engage in some kind of cute small-talk, right? Especially since he's still smiling at me. And in my head, I think of several responses I could choose from: "Oh, just here with my family for the day. It's lovely weather," or "You're really good. I'm trying to learn guitar but I'm not doing too well," or even, since he was playing 'A-Team' "Oh, do you know 'Small Bump'? That's my favourite." Did my brain pick one of those fine options? No. Instead, I got tongue-tied, couldn't think of anything to say, and just smiled again like some goofy moron as if I hadn't head what he'd said. Then, he just carried on playing some other song, and I kind of scuttled away awkwardly to find my family. So this was just some random guy I thought looked cute. I didn't know him, logistically, it couldn't have worked out...I just wanted to talk with some guy who seemed nice. Maybe build up my confidence that I was actually not too bad at this whole flirting thing. And instead, I found out that, nope, I'm just as bad as ever. Any advice? Today was about as brave as I tend to be. If I see a guy I think looks nice, then the best I can do is just smile at him and hopes he smiles back. But I'll get nervous even about doing that, because what if he's not even the slightest bit interested in me, and he looks back like, "Um...Hi? Sorry, can I help you? Or do you think I'd be attracted to you, or something?" Also, if you have single male Catholic friends (preferably Scottish) then please encourage them to pay attention to awkward-looking single Catholic females who can't even string a sentence together when they're nervous! xxx
  4. Just asking as I'm feeling very down at the moment and need some affirmation that I'm not just an out of touch person on this issue. I'm the only person I know barring a few people who abstain for purely cultural reasons, that holds true to the idea of abstinence. I'm 23,good looking handsome man (I was crowned most handsome at school prom) with good personality , therefore, I have a lot of chances and I mean it , with a lot of hot girls , I must confess that my faith is being tested here , my problem is I can't hold my self any more, I broke up with my last girlfriend because our relationship was developing very fast and she's welcoming having sex , the problem is I can't have sex before marriage , not because I like her a little mean I can have sex with her , I wanna wait for the right person for me , to develop my love correctly having sex after marriage ... I was bought up by religious parents. They were easy going, allowed me to make my own decisions etc, so the decision to actually abstain from sex has been a cross I've made for my own back. I believe wholeheartedly in the idea of love, with which comes of holding yourself for that one special person. I still do, and even though I am in a very promiscuous setting (university) and though temptation has very nearly gotten hold of me manys a time, I've been able to keep to it as I said before , but its getting harder and harder , I'm a man , and there is this need , you know .. However as mentioned before, I haven't met ANYONE who holds the same values as me, the suitable one .. the one I truly love from the bottom of my heart. And I began questioning my way of living , Is it right or NOT …. The only thing I'm thinking of right now is Having sex .. Its now 4 months .. I locked up myself in my room , wasting my time watching dramas over and over and other stuff , passing time .. I've become antisocial , I guess .. switched off my mobile , talking to my friends through Facebook chat ,, thats my life now .. I know it sounds very petty and selfish to be thinking about myself in such a way, but it's gnawing away at me insidiously. Making me doubt myself. The odd reactions and jokes I get from people I can take, but I want to know that I'm doing the right thing, not just some childlike notion of love. And alot of questions I need someone to answer me , comfort me !!! Does anyone of my generation still believe in the idea of no sex before marriage, or am I a relic with antiquated views? I also need to know about u guyz ur experiences , ur culture , ur country views each !! what if I'll never meet my soulmate , the one true love , wait till 30s , or 40s ... For me marrying a virgin girl who believes in what I believe is important for me , I don't know If I can accept a girl with previous sexual relations even once , even if she has regrets .. so its like impossible for me to meet someone .. I'm deeply dark depressed , I'm afraid of the future .. help .. I need to talk to someone .. I'm going insane .. Thanks
  5. I am in need of some help. I am in a relationship (recently got engaged) and I love my fiance. She is the light of my life and I know that she is my soulmate. I can’t imagine myself with anyone else, and I know God has shown me that she is the one. Both of us have a sexual history with other partners, but mine was definitely worse. I have always wanted to be happily married to one woman and one woman only for my whole life. However, most of my past relationships were very brief. Due to this, I was naive in the area of long term relationships and it has caused me to hurt my fiance in many ways. I was at first very open about my past, in fact too open to the point where she became angry with me. Because of this when confronted with women I knew and questioned about my past with them, I lied or tried to brush it off because I knew it would upset her, which was obviously a horrible and wrong thing to do. I can’t fully explain why I did it, I feel that I had been a liar in the past so unfortunately my knee jerk reaction in pressure situations was to do just that. As well, in our early days of dating I shared with her that I had watched pornography while we were dating. This is something that I had struggled with since my teenage years. I had always wanted it out of my life, but could never seem to do it. When I told her about it she explained to me that to her, it is no different than cheating and I agree with her. Because of her I no longer watch pornography. As well, one of my ex’s is of a different race. This has given my fiance lots of doubt in that she is even the “type†of woman I want. I try to reassure her that even though I was attracted to a woman of a different race at one point it does not mean I have some sort of preference to a certain race of person. It is still hard for her to believe this because she is attracted only to men of my race. Early in our relationship I still had a facebook account. I am part of a network marketing company, so I try to keep open ties to people in case of possible business in the future. I had also lied to my fiance about going to coffee’s with other girls because I thought it would upset her, which again I know was wrong. I have had my facebook account deactive for the past 6 months and I reactivated it today to remove everything from my pages and permanently delete it. When I did this, she viewed my wall on her phone and became upset about women writing on it from before I had deactivated it, but while we were still dating. That is why I am writing you now because we just had one of our biggest fights about that. I feel like such a horrible person because of all of these problems. Because of my horrible decisions in the past and early in our relationship I cause the woman I love most in this world a lot of pain. I’m not asking for sympathy or a message talking about what we both can change. I am the one who wronged her, and I need to know what I can do to show her that I love her more than anything on earth, I would do anything for her, and no woman in my past, present, or future will ever, ever change that. I know the main reason I am still hurting her is because I broke her trust. I know this may take years or even a lifetime to restore, but I am willing to go through all of that for her. If you can offer any guidance (scripture to read) it would be most appreciated. Thank you