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  1. Hi Everyone! I am a 23 year old woman who has decided to WTM, but I have had sex before. I wanted to start this discussion to find out more about the other non-virgins on here (I guess I was just curious), and I have a few questions for you guys and girls: How many partners have you had sex with? What made you change your mind and decide to wait till marriage? Do you think it's harder to wait, having had sex before? Have your partners been understanding of your decision? Are you waiting to marriage to have any sexual contact, or will you be having "anything but" sex during your relationships? Do you think not being sexually active has improved the quality of your romantic relationships? Do you think you will end up getting engaged/married more quickly once you find "the one", so that you can be intimate with them? Do you worry about marrying someone, only to find out that you are sexually incompatible? I'll answer some of these for myself: I have had one sexual relationship, with my ex-boyfriend. Growing up, no one in my family ever talked about sex, and the idea of waiting till marriage was never mentioned outside of a religious context (Catholicism). None of my friends waited, and I never thought about waiting either. However, I was quite guarded when it came to any form of sexual contact, and I was hoping to wait for "the one". When I started dating my ex, at the age of 21, I was SO SURE we would get married one day, and we had sex. But then, a year a half later, I realized that deep down I wasn't happy with him, and we broke up. Now, I feel guilty for not waiting for my future husband...almost like I cheated on him, even though we haven't met. I am hoping that, when I find him, he will be accepting of my past. I know firsthand that "retroactive jealousy" is a really awful thing, as I had a really hard time thinking about the fact that my ex had been with 4 girls before me. I always wondered if he compared us, and now I'm scared that my future husband will have those same feelings. However, I am really determined to wait, no matter how long it takes. I believe that waiting will make my future relationship and marriage stronger. Without sex in the beginning, we will really be able to communicate, even about difficult things, and make sure we agree on major issues (money, children, where to live, etc.) before taking the next step (marriage). I do worry a little about sexual incompatibility, because I have a high sex drive and I would hate to be sexually frustrated in a marriage (this was a major issue for me in my relationship). However, even that seems like something that can be candidly discussed before tying the knot. Thanks so much for reading...I know this is a long post, but I would love to hear from you all!!