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Found 51 results

  1. TOP 3 REASONS WHY I STOPPED DATING by Christi Luv (originally published 2/22/14) 1 - The Exhausting Lies 2 - The Annoying Games 3 - The Insulting Objectification Greetings. You may be an avid dater, or you may not. You may have sought a date with me, or you may not. You may be single, or you may not. But either way, recent events with multiple individuals have compelled me to write this little opinion / experience blog, and share with anyone whom it might interest just why I stopped dating a while ago, and why I'm not convinced that I should resume any time soon. You're welcomed and encouraged to give me your honest feedback! I - The exhausting lies are too tiring and time wasting to sort out and filter through. II - The annoying games are too frustrating and stressful to play defense against. III - The insulting objectification is too disrespectful and demoralizing to tolerate. I - The lies and language that I have to decode when trying to get to know guys is so exhausting and time consuming that I lose interest (and patience) for the whole dating process. Here are just a few examples of such tiring translation toil discoveries: "I own my own business" = "I'm unemployed" "I'm GREAT with kids" = "I have 10 kids and you look like their next sexy baby mama" "I'm 6 feet" = "I'm 5'9 and 1/2" "I'm a photographer" = "I shoot my own collection of porn with any dumb dingbat who'll take her clothes off for me" "I'm a rapper" = "I'm a delusional wannabe who never had a strong positive male role model in my life, growing up as a child" "I'm mature" = "I'm a dirty child molesty pervert, old enough to be your daddy, with 3 ex-wives who all hate me with a passionate venom that would scare Hitler" "She cheated on me because I work hard" = "She cheated on me because I ignored the crap out of her and I would like the opportunity to ignore the crap out of you too" "Oh awesome! I'm saving myself for marriage too!" = "I started saving myself for marriage 5 seconds ago, when you told me you were saving yourself for marriage, but really I'm gonna try my damndest to get you to go as far as possible in the opposite direction of chastity" "I don't like girls who need attention" = "I don't like being in a relationship" "I don't have facebook" = "I don't want you to know who I really am or see that I may still be in a relationship with someone else, while I'm hitting on you..." "How bout you come over to my place?" = "How bout I rape you?" or "I'm a serial killer" "I work from home" = "My mom still does my laundry" "I'm a business traveler" = "I'm a settled married man with 3 clueless kids and a clinically depressed wife and I was hoping you'd be one of my young pretty dumb whores in this city" "Meet me where I live" = "I don't have a ride and I plan to charm you into becoming one of my various female chauffeurs..." "I like younger women" = "I like clueless objects that I can control" and "I'm a very small man inside, yes, younger men are braver than I am" "Drama follows me wherever I go" = "I keep pursuing the wrong people" "I, I, I, I, I" = "I'm a chronic narcissist, so there's no room in my world for anyone but meeeeeeeeee" "I saw this girl do this thing that wasn't nice or got her in trouble..." = "Please don't do that-- Oh and I kinda suck at direct communication, cause I coulda just said that, and that woulda been an enlightening conversation that would have deepened and developed our relationship, but instead I had to passively aggressively give you this 3rd person story for you to pick up the subtle hints on, which is a lot more work than anyone should feel they have to do in a friendship or romance... See how many minutes of our lives this type of communication just wasted?" "Everyone's a pervert, so stop looking for good people..." = "I'm the biggest pervert in the world, but I'm insecure about it, because I know it's f*d up, so I have to rationalize and justify it, by convincing you, me and everyone else that everyone's a sick perverted f* like me, which is absolutely NOT true, but it makes me feel better about my crusty self, to force my pervert ideology onto you" "Damn you're gorgeous!" = "Damn I wanna f* you!!!" "I LOVE your innocence" = "I would LOVE to destroy your innocence" "Girls are too complicated" = "Relationships are too hard" "I own 3 vacation houses" = "I will pay you for sex" "I'd love to be your sugar daddy" = "I will pay you for sex" "I want to spoil you" = "I will pay you for sex" "The ladies love me" = "I'm a whore" or "I want you to think I'm a whore" "Casual sex is healthy" = "I'm still definitely a whore" "I use to be a player" = "I use to be a whore, but now I'm getting old and I need a wife, so I won't die alone. So can I please pour all my gross old ugly baggage onto a pretty, sweet, young thang like you now?" "I want a girl who can take care of herself" = "I want a girl who can take care of me" "I want a woman who stays busy" = "I don't really want a relationship, I just want a shallow, superficial business arrangement that involves a lot of physical connection and very little emotional connection, but I don't want her to notice that that's all it is, to avoid the risk of her cutting me loose at any given moment, when she actually finds something real with another guy" "I like it when a woman chases me instead" = "I'm gay" "I do a lot of computer work" = "I'm a gaming fanatic" "I don't know why nobody likes me" = "I don't know how to fix my painfully annoying (or scary) personality" "I look like Blair Underwood" = "I look like Flava Flav" "I look like Michael Ealy" = "I look like Rihanna" "I look like Zac Efron" = "I look like Jonah Hill" "I look like Taylor Lautner" = "I look like Megan Fox" "I look like Mario Lopez" = "I look like George Lopez" "I look like Bruce Lee" = "I look like that naked Asian guy from The Hangover movies and Community" "I'll NEVER leave you hangin" = "I'll ALWAYS leave you hangin" And the list goes on and on till the break of dawn... It starts off entertaining, but then it just becomes draining. And as a famous viral video star once said, "Aint nobody got time for that!" II - Now lets talk about the annoying games: A ) The Chasing Game B ) The Dating Game C ) The Claiming Game The Chasing Game {(A) Game #1} is when the guy tries to manipulate a girl into dating him (or dating him again), instead of actually listening to her wants, needs or comfort preferences. So instead of molding his game to fit her, he tries to mold her to fit his game. BIG mistake. Many guys do this. There are 3 levels of it. Level 1 - The Fake Connection Level 2 - The Sales Pitch Level 3 - The New Girl 1st - The guy pretends to connect with the girl on things that interest or matter to her, but he doesn't really care about these things or have serious interest in them. It's all just a blind, calculated tactic to trick her into thinking they share a connection. 2nd - The guy blindly pitches himself to the girl without really hearing or understanding her objection, and without truly understanding the objection, you can't effectively overcome it. So instead of hearing her problem and looking for a way to solve it (or wait it out), he just tries to blindly bash her over the head with his thoughts, feelings and desires, and then, just like all the other guys, who failed to realize they weren't the first to try this angle and fall flat, he gets surprised when it doesn't work. 3rd - Finally, the guy brings another female (or a fake non-existent female) into the equation, thinking the grass is always greener, and since women are known for their jealousy, and people are known for their superficiality (meaning the shallowness of not seeing, liking or fully appreciating someone until you see that someone else wants them), he tries to manipulate the girl that he REALLY wants into thinking that he's dating somebody else, who is usually either made up, OR an easy girl who's always been available to him, who he doesn't really want that badly, but might settle for if he can't get the girl he really wants. NOTE: But this tactic only works on smart girls AFTER they've gotten to know you, spent time with you, been romanced by you, and have decided, for sure, that they actually want and like you like that. A smart girl is NOT going to like you more just for being wanted by another woman, when she hasn't even decided that she trusts you enough to take you seriously like that for herself, or she simply hasn't let you all the way inside her heart yet. A smart girl has to know who you are, connect with you, and take you seriously, before she can be truly possessive over you. You have to build a relationship of some kind for that to happen. There must be an emotional bond first. A history with each other. Otherwise, she'll just cast you off into the friend zone for an eternity, assuming you were never seriously interested in getting to know her, as a long term romantic prospect. She certainly won't like you for acting like a prick to her, under ANY circumstances. If anything she'll hold your rude behavior and deceptive acts against you. And it's never good to lose the respect or trust of a smart girl... Cause then it's hard to win her back. So The Chasing Game = FAIL. Then there's The Dating Game {(B ) Game #2}. This is when the guy actually gets the girl on a date with him, be it an exclusive date, or (usually) unexclusive date, just to get to know each other. This is when the guy tries to manipulate the girl into either being exclusive with him, or sleeping with him, or both, by acting like someone he's not, or by molding himself to fit her likes, or both, instead of just experiencing the dating process naturally, and getting to know each other honestly. So instead of seeing if they click mutually, he tries to force the click and fool her into thinking they're a perfect match-- which is both dishonest, dangerous, and a big waste of everybody's time-- if you're not really a good match for each other. Level 1 - The Fake Wealth Level 2 - The Clone Likes Level 3 - The Hidden Emotions 1st - The guy goes broke spending all his cash to impress the girl, which is truly sweet, but he's not honest about it. He pretends this is a normal, common date for him, fooling her into thinking he's always going to romance her like this, then he holds it against her later when she expects something he set her up to expect. Meanwhile she resents his dishonesty and bait-n-switch routine, plus he acts miserable, cause he's broke now lol. 2nd - Then the guy acts like he's deeply connected to all the things the girl likes or cares about, pinpointing specific hot button issues that he knows or suspects that she holds dear-- and he copies and pastes her real personality profile data into his false personality profile template, acting like her twin, to fake compatibility with her. It's admirably ambitious, yes, but disturbingly fraudulent as well. 3rd - Finally, and this is the most common level of the dating game, because unlike the 2 more ambitious positives to reach for, this is a very easy negative to simply fall into. In an effort to seem cool, or to manipulate her into thinking he's a big, emotionless tough guy (which doesn't really exist unless you're a hitman or a sociopath), the guy will hide his emotions and true feelings on matters, from the girl, instead of honestly, directly communicating to her, how he feels, what he thinks, or what he's been through. He deliberately hides his own personal truth from her, likely out of fear that she won't think he's a man, if he opens up to her honestly and directly, which is a real issue with dumb girls and mean girls, but smart girls and nice girls will NOT *EVER* hold your humanity against you, or think less of you for being honest about the depths of your true feelings. We will ALWAYS appreciate and respect you for opening up to us and being honest, sensitive and emotionally intimate with us. ALWAYS. Because we crave emotional intimacy, we thrive on it. Plus that's one big way to get a special place in our overly emotional hearts lol. We'll even understand you better and be more consciously gentle with your heart-- once you reveal to us that you have one Too many guys are too insecure to expose their hearts, even to nice girls, thus the girl never lets him into her heart. Because trust is a 2-way street. I know, it's a vicious cycle, right? I guess timing really is everything... So The Dating Game = FAIL. Now we have The Claiming Game {© Game #3} - Yes, the Claim Game begins. This is when the guy tries to manipulate the girl into being exclusive with him, usually before he's truly bothered to get to know her. He just sees her (maybe even dates her briefly), but he decides that he wants her aaaaaaaaaall to himself (often when he sees that other guys want her or like her), yet he hasn't bothered to get to know her properly, and in too many cases, he hasn't even taken her out on a date yet, and sometimes they haven't even met face2face yet. But yet he just wants to stuff her in his pocket, before spending any real quality time and/or romance with her, and then he often holds it against her when she refuses to go along with this oppressive, often 1-sided pathology. Level 1 - The Scary Guilt Story Level 2 - The Secret Spy Ops Level 3 - The Insulting Style Offense 1st - The guy tries to scare and guilt the girl into not socializing with any other members of the male species, by telling her a scary or sad (or both) story, about the bad behavior of another girl, and how she either hurt or embarrassed her boyfriend. This is to do a couple things. This is to 1 - Manipulate the girl into thinking of the guy who is telling the story as her boyfriend, before he's actually reached that level of the video game, 2 - Shame the girl into feeling bad about hanging out with her current male friends, so she'll stop it, and 3 - Frighten her away from making any new male friends, even if romance never develops, and the guy and girl have not even solidified an exclusive relationship with each other yet. 2nd - The guy goes into recon mode on the girl, using soft interrogation, like asking deliberate questions in the frame of casual conversation, stalking her online, monitoring her actions, spying on her secretly, and looking for any evidence of her reaching out to others in any social capacity, especially if she looks attractive to guys. It's considered manipulation because he pretends he's not doing it or that he's too busy to call her back or text her, yet he's following her around online, watching her every move, leaving fingerprints of his presence without realizing it. This is undoubtedly the creepiest level of The Claim Game. But there's more... 3rd - The guy styles on the girl. He basically acts like a douche to her, usually without saying why, if he can even put it into words, but also, if he admits to her that he's reacting to her innocent behavior that he saw whilst he was spying on her (or playing her) like a creep, then he would have to then finally come clean and admit to her that he's been spying on her (or playing her), which is actually much worse than what he's acting mad about, and it makes him the bad guy, thus taking away his staggeringly hypocritical right to feign self-righteous angst, and instead, giving HER the right to be pissed at HIM, on at least 2 counts (1 - spying on her and 2 - styling on her + maybe 3 - playing her). NOTE: This can mean purposely ignoring her, purposely breaking your word to her, purposely embarrassing her, or purposely lashing out at her via conversation, like a hip-hop reality TV star or athlete, trying to save face in a rap battle / cast reunion show or the big game, instead of being real with her, like a sane, honest, mature individual. It's hard to get a girl to ever consider claiming you or letting you claim her once you break this trust barrier or make her feel unjustifiably disrespected. It's easy to get her to despise you or simply lose interest in you though. So guys, never get to this point. Nice girls will find it hard to forgive, tolerate or like you again after this level of emotional retardation has been reached. Plus, come on, nobody likes to feel insulted or be disrespected, and nice girls, just like nice guys, do NOT deserve that kind of treatment-- EVER. So The Claiming Game = FAIL. All these various games stress me out, absorb massive amounts of my emotional energy and deter me from wanting to be bothered with relationships at all. Because the audition process is so draining, complicated and frustrating. Even just for friendship, which is what it usually ends up as. This is only one of the many reasons why I have a love/hate relationship with humanity lol. III - So now finally we come to: The Insulting Objectification issue. First, we had The Exhausting Lies to sort through. Then we had The Annoying Games to battle against. Now we have The Insulting Objectification to escape. I put this one last because even when the lies are filtered through, and the games are paused or squashed, usually the shallow superficiality of trophy wife objectification remains -- and this is where most of my marriage proposals from guys come from. Many guys have told me they wanted to marry me. Many guys have told me they loved me. Many guys have told me they never wanted anyone more than me. Many guys have told me what every girl wants and needs to hear at least once her life. Repeatedly. So why don't I appreciate it? Because I don't believe them. I believe THEY believe them, when they say these things to me. But guys lie to themselves more than women do. So if you don't ever bother to get to know me, then you don't ever deserve to own me. I will resent you for trying to keep me all to yourself, like a pet rock, if you don't do the real work of getting to know me and deeply connect with me. Either we're in this together, or you're in this alone, buddy! But either way-- you are not gonna take me off the throne in my life, just so I can be a footstool in yours. Either we're a team, or you're a bachelor and I'm a free agent. Either we will conquer the world together, or I will conquer it without you, and eventually with someone else. But either way, I'm not gonna stop being a shooting rock star in my world, to be nothing more than a pet rock in yours. I would rather actually be alone, then to feel alone in a relationship. Because at least when you're single, you can mingle with your admirers and other single friends. But when you're alone, by yourself, in a relationship-- that's the loneliest, most painful, hard-to-explain, diminishing, and self-esteem-shattering feeling in the world. And I know this from the personal experience of being there. That is quicksand swamp that I will NOT go back to. So I'm flattered by your desire for me, but I will hate you if try to make me your trophy wife. Because I'm not a thing. I'm not a doll. I'm not a rock, plant or pet. I'm not a friggin stray cat. I'm also not your child. I'm a human being. I'm a person. But I'm also your mutual equal-- Your softer, gentler, prettier team-mate lol. And if you don't treat me like that, all the flattery and money in the world won't get me to love you, like you or keep you in my life. It's exciting when guys compete for my hand. But it's insulting when guys try to bag me like a lifeless prize, like I'm just an expensive sports car, without knowing or caring about my heart, soul or mind. Because chasing me when you know me, is the highest most flattering honor. But just trying to collect me, with no aggressive interest in learning who I am, just because I'm pretty or talented or wanted or I sparkle more than the other girls do, is the most egocentric, shallow, superficial, annoying, exhausting, insulting and pointless excuse for a loving relationship that I have ever encountered. I was tricked into that by my 1st bf-- I will NOT be duped into it again. I LEARN from MY mistakes. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. I'm so happy and grateful to be wanted. But I'm so tired of almost nobody who claims to want me ever really truly trying to know who the BEEP I am! They want the gift without opening the box! Just because it's wrapped so pretty or cool and fun-looking. But I will not be your gift if you refuse to open me. I will never be ANYONE'S gift-- until they bother to unwrap the paper. That is my protest. That is my lament. That is my LITERAL "boy"-cott. That is my emotional cause. I am passionate about never again being "owned" by anyone who refuses to look under the hood and see what or who is actually inside. Take it or leave it. But that's my stance. IN SUMMARY: 1 - You don't get to own me until you get to know me. 2 - If you use manipulative games to catch me, your manipulative games will lose me-- And that is too much work to constantly be doing in a romance when relationships are already work as it is. Why you wanna add more work with silly games? And I assure you, if you gotta play games to catch a fish-- you gotta keep playing games to keep that fish-- and that is way too draining and exhausting, as time carries on, especially if either of you actually has a LIFE. 3 - I don't date liars, and I don't even prefer them as friends either. I prefer to keep my distance from liars because I don't want their disease of deception to infect any part of my life. Also, remember this: You cannot hide who you are from somebody and then expect them to like you for who you are, when all you've done your entire time with them is pretend to be someone you're not. Now look-- I don't know who's a serious gentlemen or just a really convincing fool, but I do know that I'm not actively seeking any romance in my life with anyone right now. I was really just looking for a Valentines Date lol. Or a Valentine Friend. Not a boyfriend or a part time lover. But now I have all these seemingly decent guys knocking down my door, and I don't know what to say to any of you. Cause I don't have anything to give you. I'm drained and busy and not interested in the exhaustive audition process that is dating, which is the basic way that you get to know if someone may match you well in a romantic context. Yes, I'm usually curious about meeting new people with the laidback awareness that it could (though most likely won't) later lead to a long term romance, or (more likely) a close friendship. But right now, I have a lot of creative projects, family matters, and a social club to deal with, so I don't have the emotional energy to give to the exhausting lies, annoying games, and insulting objectification, that is the dating and romance world (AKA the people world-- cause honestly, even "friends" stress me out.) And I'm not even a hi-strung person at all. I have a Taurus Moon for pete's sake! My emotions can tolerate a lot lol. But its been my experience that whenever I rely on people, they let me down. Bad. But whenever I rely on ideas, God and myself, I succeed. See, the 1st phase of my life I spent trying to be understood and make best friends. The 2nd phase of my life I spent trying to save my generation and lead my fellow youth to the promised land. The 3rd phase of my life I spent trying to be liked and connect with new people, as the closer, familiar people in my life either moved away, got sick, or died. Then most of the new people I connected with either let me down, or vexed me. I have nothing to show for any of it. Now the wise old soul in me calls that, "Valuable Lessons Learned". But the ambitious young mind in me calls that, "Valuable Time Lost". Time I can't recoup. A wasted investment. But when I create, share and market recorded independent self-contained projects that don't require social loyalty to move forward, I always have something to show for my time spent on this planet. I always have proof of my natural contributions to this universe, that God put me in, for some reason. So now, in this phase of my life-- I'm building my kingdom. And it will be MAGNIFICENT. A kingdom that will last and won't get knocked down or washed away by the ocean shore, in a split second, like all the other types of kingdoms do. This is why I've consciously decided to put most or all of my energy into building my kingdom of the creative soul, the moral intelligence, the life education, and the altruistic humanitarian help that I believe I was put on this earth to give. I hate to sound jaded or mathematical about it, but relationships are untrustworthy, fickle, unpredictable and can fall apart like a house of cards, at a moment's notice, if you haven't thoroughly vetted your partner, yourself or your circumstances. And I'm not the master of vetting people, trust me. "People" are not my strength. "Ideas" are my strength. "People" are just my interest and need. But not my strength. Because People = Politics-- and I suck at politics lol. So in this phase of my life, I'm going to play to my strengths, which is IDEAS, and if I happen to fall in love along the way, fine. But until then, or until vetting is properly executed, the only lover I belong to is me, and no one is allowed inside my bed besides my future husband. PERIOD. That is all why I stopped dating. And I'm not convinced I should bother with it again, until I'm independently rich and famous lol Or secretly rich and unknown... Thank you. Come again. Have a lovely day! ♥
  2. Dating sites?

    Hi there! I'm curious about dating sites and the relationships one might find using them. Are there dating sites specially-dedicated for waiters? Is it hard to find someone to date who is alright with waiting till marriage but is not extremely sociopolitically or religiously conservative? Which dating sites are the best for people like us? I really do want to find my soul mate one day but feel like the search is extremely difficult. :/
  3. Virgin fellows are very few and far between. I also hear that there is very little dating-action in the religious sphere (well, mine anyway). So, my question: is there like a 2% chance that a given man will ever marry? Let's talk about this.
  4. This is kinda a question for the brave who want to answer. What negative characteristics, that will interfere with your marriage, do you need to shrug off before you get married oneday? If you're one of the married few on here, how can you improve on yourself or have you already?
  5. Made in His Image

    For those of you on facebook, check out: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Made-in-His-Image/201419636590927 Look at the first post: "The only safe sex is between husband and wife" #reallove
  6. Thought you were gonna read about the reasons why I'm waiting until I'm married to DD to have sex?? Sorry, this is actually by the founder of Made in His Image. Still really good though. Great for those of you who are waiting and Christian. http://madeinhisimage.org/why-im-waiting-to-have-sex-until-im-married/ ~Sally
  7. For Your Husband...

    If your husband always wanted you to shave "down there" would you? If it hurt, would you instead wax or something else?
  8. http://sethadamsmith.com/2013/11/02/marriage-isnt-for-you/ Ian shared this with me and Ioved it! Hope you all check it out too
  9. Hello everyone!

    Hello, WTM community! So my name's 'Aurora', and I'm a 19 year old virgin. I decided to join this website because I found that I need somebody to talk to about this, aside from my boyfriend. It feels nice knowing that there's a community of people out there who, like me, believe that sex is a part of the true commitment of marriage, and not just something that should be thrown around and offered to everybody. Up until about 8 months ago, when I met my boyfriend, let's call him 'Phillip', I would have thought everybody on here was a little crazy. I would have gone against this website solely for the sake of doing so. It wasn't that I was against waiting until marriage, just that I had never really thought about it. In my community, everybody is so open about talking about sex, and not really worried about virginity. In fact, my parents have offered to help me get birth control when I needed it. For some reason, I think it was part of God's plan for me, I have always been single. Aside from Phillip, I have only ever called one other guy my boyfriend, and we never did anything more than a quick peck on the lips, mainly because we were early high school students. If I had had a boyfriend before meeting Phillip, and he had wanted to have sex, I probably would have, mainly because my beliefs kind of fluctuated. Sometimes I wondered, is sex really that good that some people can't wait for it? Isn't it just for the creation of children? Why is it so important? The first person that I new that was waiting until marriage was an old boss of mine. She was 25 at the time. I never actually found out why she was waiting, just that she was. Then there was another co-worker at that job who didn't believe in premarital sex or birth control. She got married while I worked there, and soon after was pregnant. Near the end of my first year of University, I met Philip there. I instantly liked him a lot, and we started dating. After a few dates, he sat me down for a serious talk. He gave me a 'heads-up' that he was waiting until marriage (because it was part of his religion, and the beliefs of his community), and that, due to this, he wasn't moving in with anyone before marriage. I told him that that sounded fine to me, and that I understood where he was coming from. I've never been a religious person. I'd always just been like many other people-believing in God, but not partaking in prayer or church groups. After meeting Phillip though, my perspective on life changed. Now I regularly attend church with a co-worker of mine, and can't imagine any other way of living. I don't think that, even if I wasn't with Phillip, I could ever partake in premarital sex now. It just doesn't seem right. Now, I view sex as the ultimate connection between man and wife. It's something that, after meeting Phillip, I know that I desire, but something that I know we will wait for. It's just too important for us not to wait. I've rambled on enough for now. I'm just happy that I found you guys! So once again, hello everyone! Aurora
  10. Hey Waiters! I wasn't really sure which section to put this under, so I just kind of put it in 'Discuss Stuff'. Do we have another name aside from 'Waiters'? I feel like we should, because to me, 'Waiters' always reminds me of the restaurant workers under the same title. If we don't have another name, is anybody else looking for a different name? Or is it just me who thinks we could have another one? I don't know-let me know what you guys think...
  11. Great read whether you're in a serious relationship or not! http://www.viralnova.com/20-marriage-tips/
  12. I don't believe that anyone should ever feel this way. I hope that my future husband and I can have good communication about sex and explore each other's fantasies/desires. What are your thoughts ?!?
  13. Hey guys! Have any of you seen this video yet? It's a really beautiful story about 96 year-old Fred who wrote a song for his late wife after nearly 73 years of marriage...Anyway, watch the story. The song is so beautiful... Thoughts? xxx
  14. The other day, I went to church and after service we had a picnic. I started talking to another church member and we got on the topic of marriage. She told me she was married at one time but divorced him. She realized he was not Mr. Right even though he was in church, he even went to the same church she did. However, she never had any kids which she regrets now because the marriage didn't last and now she's too old to have any even if Mr. right were to be revealed to her now and she doesn't date. She also was celibate until she married this guy so of course she had no other opportunity to have kids because she was trying to do what she thought was right. He actually disappeared one day and she filed for divorce but it's currently in limbo. After she told me all this, I couldn't help but feel sorry for her. Now that I thin about it, there are probably a lot of Christians and women in general who have this problem. This topic kind of hits close to home with me because I'm almost done with college but there seems to be no prospects of any guy being the one for me that I've met so far. Sometimes this scared me because i'm in my 20's so I have a while before my biological clock starts ticking but I think sometimes about what would happen if I meet the one or who I think is the one when i'm too old to have children. I really want to have kids, not this very second but sometime after I graduate college. I also know in this day and age, getting married and then having kids isn't that common but that's how I want it to be for me. My question is what would you do if you decided to become celibate for religious reasons until you get married but miss out on having kids due to age because you got married later in your life or because your relationship didn't work out before you had a chance to get pregnant?
  15. Hello I'm Amber :)

    Hello, I'm new here(first day) and I signed up once I saw this forum from Google. I'm 22 years old and a student at University of Wisconsin. I'm really attracted to health careers so, I recently switched majors from Business to Biomedical Science. Majoring in Biomedical Science will help me become a dietitian, nutritionist, or even a doctor. I love traveling, watching movies, listening to music, and shopping. I'm also very interested in other cultures and languages. I really like going to new places. I plan to travel to France and South Korea someday, so I'm learning both languages. I decided that I would remain a virgin until marriage when I was 15. I thought the usual thoughts about sex with having sex with your boyfriend and just remembering to use protection. That was until Rebecca St. James was talking about waiting on the Gospel Music Channel. This was actually a year before I started dating, so she persuaded me right on time. I read my Bible, said a prayer and began writing letters to my husband shortly after. I'm really glad I found this site and I really hope that someday everyone will see the importance of waiting till marriage.
  16. Hi Everyone! So Josh's question about the amount of years we'd like to be alone with our spouse before having kids made me think- what if your husband/wife didn't want to have kids? What if they didn't want to/couldn't have biological children and would rather adopt? Would that be a deal-breaker in a relationship? Personally, if I don't have kids, that's fine. But I've been thinking about it and I would prefer to have kids if I can. I have a lot to offer in advice, love, and guidance for a child/children and it would make those later years in life more memorable and fulfilling. Adoption would be great too- there are a lot of kids out there that need love, and I would be happy to raise a few if my husband couldn't have children. (Not sure if this question was posed, but feel free to answer if you'd like). So what do you think?
  17. http://pinterest.com/pin/3025924722160320/
  18. The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." Genesis 2:18 The Hebrew word for Helper in Gen 2:18 is Ezer (Strong's 5828). The traditional teaching for the woman as help (meet) is that of assistant or helper subservient to the one being helped. This definition would appear to line up with Strong's definition of the word. However, if you look at the context of every other use of the word ezer in the scripture, you will see that ezer refers to either God or military allies. In all other cases the one giving the help is superior to the one receiving the help. Adding kenegdo (meet) modifies the meaning to that of equal rather than superior status. Scripture is so awesome. God says just what He means. In Genesis 2:18, the word "helpmeet" does not occur. The Hebrew expression ezer kenegdo appears, meaning "one who is the same as the other and who surrounds, protects, aids, helps, supports." There is no indication of inferiority or of a secondary position in an hierarchical separation of the male and female "spheres" of responsibility, authority, or social position. The word ezer is used twice in the Old Testament to refer to the female and 14 times to refer to God. For example, in the Psalms when David says, "The Lord is my Helper," he uses the word ezer." http://godswordtowomen.org/help.htm I just wanted to share the powerful definition for the Hebrew word for Helper (EZER). I hope it blesses others as much as it has blessed me!!!
  19. What does having sex mean to you? Or a much better question, why is it so special to you? I know that we get a whole lot of BS influence of sex from the media - that it's all about pleasure and the act of doing it, but what is it (for you) REALLY about?
  20. Is God Waiting On Me?

    I'm someone who grew up in the church. Before moving an hour away from my hometown, I was the girl who went to church every Sunday and Wednesday, was in the choir, and was just very involved. Even though I did all of these things, I have still always felt like I wasn't doing enough or my relationship with God was not where it needed to be. I don't read and study my bible like I know I should. I also know I don't pray and talk to God as much as I need to. I think about this every day. I tell myself tomorrow is going to be different. I'm going to do what I need to do. And the next day, still, nothing changes. I sometimes feel like God knows where he wants me to be and he knows that I am not ready personally, spiritually, emotionally, etc. for a relationship or marriage? Has anyone ever felt like this before? Since I already know what's wrong with me, is God waiting on me to change, handle my responsibilities, and mold myself so that I will be a better person for the man He is going to send my way? I guess I'm just looking for your opinions on the matter...
  21. Hey everyone! My name's Natasha. Just wanted to extend some blessings and encouragment. Keep holding out because in so doing, you are honoring and pleasing God and protecting yourself so it's a win-win-win! I'm super passionate about purity before marriage and got lots of advice on relationships (since I've gone through 53 toads since Kindergarten), on my blog www.betterthanedward.com .I hope you can get something out of it. Know your worth! -Natasha
  22. HEY THERE, such a relief to find this site. I thought I was the last person on earth waiting till marriage. I would love to have good Christian fellowship with the wome.n on here, and maybe even meet who God has for me. I am 23, Male, living in NC. I am a Police officer in the army. I am also a volunteer fire fighter. I am willing to move where God leads. I am looking a Christian female 18-30, never married, virgin,located pretty much anywhere. I am in shape and prefer that the be of athletic build.
  23. Acceptance ^_^

    Hi, my name is Nita. My boyfriend, Will, and I are waiting until marriage to have sex! I am 25 years old and he is 21 years old. My virginity was taken from me on my 21st birthday, otherwise, I would still be virgin. Nonetheless, Will excepts me for who I am, and I accept him. We love each other and that is why I am so grateful to have such a wonderful guy to call my mate. I am so proud of him for sticking to his guns, even though it is tempting, we keep each other in check, lol. I stumbled upon this site, and thought, 'WOW, this is a very supportive group of great people'.