Cody

Moderators
  • Content count

    55
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Community Reputation

10 Good

About Cody

  • Rank
    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 06/05/1988

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Pacific Northwest
  • Interests
    Movies, Music, Books, Skiing, Learning, & Good Conversation. :D

Recent Profile Visitors

4,534 profile views
  1. Where do you stand, politically?

    I couldn't have said it better myself. Replace Ann Coulter with Bill O'Reilly and that's my story. I still like to tell people I'm a die-hard neo-liberal because I think it gets an interesting reaction in the extremely conservative town that I live in. I however don't care much at all for politics and I think it's all a big show. I believe we live in a corporatocracy and that the illusion of a democracy or a republic only exists so that the people can feel like they contribute.
  2. Ha this is awesome. I love trying new things so I'm totally on board with this. I have had crocodile and it's pretty good. I have also had snails and frog legs. I've eaten ants but they weren't giant. I have yet to try mealworms and crickets. I once saw a food show where they featured a cricket salad and since then I've wanted to try it. I don't know if I could stomach it but it sure looked good!
  3. Super true. I like hearing accounts of people that end up happy. I thought so too! Haha, I was super confused for a second!
  4. This… is probably a bad idea. BUT! I think it could work. In the past groups that are being oppressed will often avoid stigmatization by assuming the mantle that their oppressor has given them. One example is of feminists embracing the term ‘slut.’ Of course not all feminists do this but some do. They take the word that men have assigned to them and make it their own. I think that in this same fashion we, people who are waiting until marriage, can embrace the term ‘prude.’ Bear with me here, the textbook definition of the word prude is ‘a person excessively concerned about propriety* and decorum.’ Some other definitions include: A person who is or claims to be easily shocked by matters relating to sex or nudity A prude (Old French prude meaning honorable woman) is a person who is described as (or would describe themselves as) being concerned with decorum or propriety, significantly in excess of normal prevailing community standards. A person who is or tries to be excessively proper, especially one who is easily offended by matters of a sexual nature Now, we’d have to stretch the term a bit because by and large I don’t think that we are necessarily offended by matters of a sexual nature. And how could we be? We live in a culture that is soaked in sleaze. It’s every which way we turn our heads. I do think we could work with the 'correct and appropriate behavior' part though. Prude isn't a term that I've heard used much, but then again I keep to myself for the most part so I don't think most people that I meet ever really know that I'm waiting. I've heard other people being tormented with this word though, which is sad. Prude doesn't necessarily mean that someone is waiting but it does mean that someone is inexperienced or at least intentionally avoiding sexual activity. Here's a great definition from Urban Dictionary. "Taken from the term "prod femmes" in pre-revolutionary France, meant that they were proud, wise, virtuous women. These days, it's more of a discriminatory word, stating that women could be "too" proper, too wise, and so on, especially when not interested in sex. It's also a word men *think* they can use in order to get women to perform sexual favors with them, and in order to put them down a notch - which in fact is absolute bullshit. The word prude may not seem like a good term, but it in fact is a compliment suggesting a lesser id and a higher intelligence and a stronger will and confidence than most." Some examples in action might be - Frat Guy 1: Hey did you hear about that website where all the prudes get together and talk about not having sex? Frat Guy 2: Oh yeah! What a bunch of prudes! I have gonorrhea! Virgin Girl 1: Ugh Todd keeps calling me a prude because I won't sleep with him, it's seriously getting me down. Virgin Girl 2: Why are you even talking to that titanic douche? Dump his sorry ass. You'll be happier in the long run, trust me. Slut 1: Ha Becky is such a prude, can you believe she's never even given a hand job? Slut 2: Seriously!? I have zero self-esteem! Virgin Guy: Do you think there is a girl out there for me? Virgin Girl: For sure, I know I'm in the market for a prude dude. Don't worry, you'll make a girl very happy one day. Ha those examples were a little mean spirited but fun to write! What does everyone think? __________________________________________________________________________ *propriety is correct or appropriate behavior
  5. Found this on Lemondrop and thought I'd share... __ When I met Jack, I felt pretty much every romantic, clichéd feeling ever -- fireworks crackling, the imaginary sound of opera music, weak knees ... the whole nine. I decided when I was young that I wanted to wait for sex until I fell in love. The problem was, that being an incurable romantic often means being incurably picky. Oh, I dated -- a lot. But if I didn't feel the lightning bolt, I tended to break things off after one or two dates. By age 21 -- though not for lack of opportunities -- I was still a virgin. And then finally, I found the one. Here I was, in love with Jack; and, conveniently, he loved me too. Which is why we decided not to have sex. Jack was an "accidental" virgin too -- certainly not opposed to sex, but a total gentleman who made it a point never to push boundaries with girls. He'd never clicked with anybody enough to take things to the next level. For Jack, it was a matter of not finding the right person. For me, it was a combination of not landing the right guy and the religion in which I was raised. I certainly don't go around preaching abstinence to everyone; it was just something I practiced personally. When we realized that we were novices in the effects of sex on a relationship, we made the decision to make sex something we worked on together, as a married couple. What Made it Difficult (Besides the Obvious) Abstinence seems to be a touchy subject these days. I'm just one of those girls who realized she'd have to be over the moon for a guy before she could fathom him seeing her naked. Call me crazy, but I think intimacy comes with time. Sure, it was really annoying being asked constantly how hard it was hard to refrain, why I didn't want to try sex, and getting called a prude (an awful lot). The truth was, until Jack, I'd never really wanted a guy bad enough to sleep with him. Full disclosure: It was an incredible relief not to have to worry about his sexual past. No ex-girlfriends, no STDs, no competition to live up to. But our first time was a train wreck. Glorious and really intimate -- but a train wreck, nevertheless. But it got better eventually! Way, way, way better. I'll Never Have Sex With Anybody Else ... and I Don't Care Now that I'm married, people ask me if I'm worried that I missed out on having sex with other guys. You know, I don't think I was genetically coded that way. Plus, why would I need someone else to sleep with when the love of my life fulfills me, loves me, and truly knows me in the way no potentially awful, potentially regrettable, sweaty, thick-necked frat dude could have. I realized this sounds really old-fashioned, but I'm not advocating you quit your career and start baking pies. But isn't it as crazy as the frequency with which my friends call me in a panic after a regrettable one-night sexcapade with a guy they'll never speak to again? I'm not saying wait until marriage. But I think with every guy, it's not totally outrageous for you to ask yourself if you trust him with your body -- and your heart. If you feel comfortable and ready, then you have my blessing (not that you need it). So yeah -- I'll never experience sex with anybody else. But I'll also never experience the crap that so many of my beautiful and intelligent friends go through in the name of sex. I thank God for my husband every day, and thanks to him, I've never, ever questioned my value based on the fact that the guy didn't call me the next day ... 'cause the guy lives here. __ Here's the link for those that are interested.
  6. It sounds like things are going well! I wouldn't worry too much at this point. Just try not to let things go any further and keep dating him. If he's 'the one' then he won't pressure you and you'll have a lovely long healthy relationship. If he's not 'the one' he'll start trying to initiate more physical contact and when he realizes he's not getting anywhere he'll bail. In the meantime have fun!
  7. I absolutely agree. I think it shouldn't be presented in a way that makes it seem like an adult is telling the kids what to do. It should be presented in a way that's offering advice to a younger generation. Adults should tell people that it's not about how to manage their lives but how to choose the type of life that they want. Statistically girls (and I'm sure boys as well) who have sex at a young age end up poor, single mothers, with a low life expectancy. Of course there's always exceptions but for the most part that's what will become of them. Ha this is awesome. At my high school we actually had a guy come and speak to our whole school about sex. He had waited himself and was very enthusiastic and well received. I'd already chosen to wait at that point so I wasn't really in his target audience but I remember wondering how some of the teachers that were present (and hadn't waited) felt. A lot of the girls got emotional during the presentation and a lot of guys felt weird talking about that kind of stuff but I don't think it really affected anyone. My highschool also did a program about drunk driving and half the school was crying during that assembly. Of course most of those people were drunk that weekend. Many people aren't capable or don't want to engage in self-reflective thought and therefore don't take future consequences into account when they make choices in the present. I can't wait to teach my kids! Honestly though, this is something I worry about. If I marry a woman who didn't wait what am I supposed to tell them? "Wait until marriage, I did and it was an excellent decision! Your mother didn't though she sure was busy when she was younger. " I think one upside to a mixed couple like that would be that the person who didn't wait could tell them how it made things more difficult and how they regret it. I have talked about this with the girl I'm currently dating and she's said that she's going to encourage her daughter to wait. I know she regrets the choices she made and she said that when it comes time she's going to emphasize the emotional aspect. She was unprepared for that part of it.
  8. Part of the reason is that most people haven't waited, including adults. It's hard to teach people about something that you didn't do yourself. The only people that could really advocate this is people who have lived it. We're so rare that it's not likely that any of us will ever be in a position to teach it. I think this website is currently one of the best tools we have to 'spread the word.' Even famous celebrities who have chosen to wait don't speak out about it for fear of being ostracized. I agree with you that society is sick. I, personally, don't see things ever improving either. I don't know what that means for the future but unless something very radical happens things will just continue to slide downhill. The only thing we can do is hold fast to our decision and let our lives be examples to others. We must stand as lighthouses amidst a dark and violent sea.
  9. Not quite the reverse but I see what you mean. She's totally genuine too but she's just had a run of bad luck. She's totally caring, sweet, funny, etc... We just have different views on things like waiting. Ha that's funny that it sounds ridiculous. Well just don't fall for it I guess. The more you talk about this guy the better he sounds. I think holding hands is perfectly fine. Even being physical is fine as long as you're comfortable. You just want to be careful to not get too emotionally attached before you feel like you've adequately assessed the situation. I was worried about that myself. I worried that kissing was making me blind to things that I'd normally run from. Now that we're out of that giddy beginning, I feel like I can see things a lot more clearly. Being somewhat physical (snuggling, holding hands, kissing) is fine just so long as it doesn't cloud your judgement and, of course, as long as you feel comfortable with it.
  10. Admittedly it sounds like sweet talk to me. I've been in some very serious relationships in the past and we only very rarely said things like that to each other. It could definitely just be a case by case thing but it sounds like he's trying too hard, trying to come across as smitten. The one piece of advice that I think you should cling to is the old adage, "actions speak louder than words." In my experience I can't possibly emphasis how true this is. Pay close attention to what he's doing rather than what he's saying. If he really is smitten then he'll get embarrassed when he does something silly, he'll be trying too hard (hopefully opening doors for you), and you'll find yourself thinking 'that's so cute!' He needs to show you how he feels, not just tell you. One specific example I can recall is at the beginning of one of my longer relationships I took my girlfriend snowboarding for her first time. By then I had already told her that I was in love with her but she hadn't said it back yet. Unfortunately the mountain closed down after only a few hours due to extreme weather but we did get a full refund. After the whole ordeal she told me that she could tell that I really did love her because of the way I acted toward her on the mountain. I was essentially teaching her how to snowboard and she said I was very patient with her and happy to be there. I don't know if that helps but I think it's a good example to illustrate that actions do speak louder than words. It was shortly after that trip that she said it back.
  11. Hey Sally, I've recently found myself in a disturbingly similar situation. I think it's a lot different from a guy's perspective though. I may be casting her as the victim but I do know that she isn't proud of the choices she's made in the past. She doesn't regret them because she learned things that make her the person she is today. I realized too, that without those experiences she might not be the girl that I find myself liking today. It was definitely the hardest in the beginning. I have trouble getting into a relationship unless I see long-term potential. What helped me the most was just talking about her past and understanding why she made those choices. We've been together for a little over 2 months at this point and we're still going strong. It's definitely still hard at times though. I feel slightly guilty because I am the first decent, genuine, guy that she's ever been close to and I don't want to cause her unnecessary anxiety about her past. I asked her early on if she would date me knowing from the beginning that we would only last a year and she said she would because she'd still be curious about what adventures we would have. Does she mean better as in someone else who is also waiting? If she does then she should realize that the chances of finding someone that you match up with who's also waiting is practically nil. There are a ton of good people out there who haven't/aren't waiting and I don't think that we should just pass them by. If we do we might end up very lonely. The second part about him treating you as well as you deserve is definitely something you should keep an eye out for. It's hard to see things objectively while you're in the honeymoon phase (which I assume you still are) so wait a couple weeks, take things slow, and see how you feel then. Dealing with the past is also the hardest during this time because it's the time that you're looking the farthest forward and have the highest expectations. If he seems like the kind of guy that would pressure you for sex I would highly recommend kicking him to the curb. Any girl can do better than that. Ultimately, I don't have the right answer to this question but I've decided to give it a shot for myself. If you feel good about it and he seems like a genuinely nice guy then go for it but just be careful. The more I think about this the more interesting the girl/guy perspective on this is. If you have anymore questions/comments/insights fire away! Leo
  12. Introducing Myself

    I've never met a couple that has done this but I've heard stories. It's so romantic! The divorce rate for couples that wait to have sex until marriage is already much lower but I bet there is no divorce rate among those who wait to share their first kiss. Very cool.
  13. Near the top of the screen there are three tabs, 'Forums,' 'Members,' and 'Chat.' Just click on the 'Chat' tab and voila!
  14. If only this were true! I'm just kidding the world would be a nightmare. It's this ability to think ahead that I think really sets people who are waiting apart. We're investing in our future by 'saving' ourselves in the present. Very well said.
  15. Nice responses everyone! Now it's time for - Question 2! Is there a difference between genders regarding the impact of physical intimacy? Can girls – assuming they are more emotionally oriented than men – can more easily overcome previous physical relationships and still love someone as strongly as if they had waited? Can guys - assuming they are more physically oriented - put the past away and approach sex in a new relationship with a fresh perspective? Let me know what you all think. I'd love to hear from the girls on this one!