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About Slayerofdragon

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    The One Who Slays Dragons
  • Birthday July 31

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    Basketball, guitar, chess, reading, oldies
  1. I am open to LDR too for some of the reasons that Vince posted. As a waiter, I find it challenging to find a woman who is waiting and possesses similar beliefs as myself in my local area thus I am open to the possibility of a LDR. Granted, there will be challenges for both persons but I feel that there will be challenges even for a couple who are not LD. I think what matters is how the couple work on the issues present in their own situation.
  2. I wouldn't mind marrying someone from a different ethnicity. Maybe that's because I come from a mixed family (Philippino, Japanese, German ethnicity here).
  3. I have a lot of family members from the Philipinnes and I can say the women make good spouses. My mom is a good example of it.
  4. First Kiss

    Hm...maybe a couple of months. It would take me a while to ask a girl out on a date (even when we have been friends for a while) so I expect my first first kiss to take a while too.
  5. I think I would feel the same with Vince on this one too. I would also make my intentions and feelings known to the other person and do my best to meet her in person. On the one hand, the seed is planted for both our feelings and on the other hand, I think I would act on wanting to be exclusive depending upon how she would feel at the moment we meet or even before we met. For example, if both of us notice the feelings are still there after we meet then I would continue to pursue and even take her on a date. If she had feelings for me and vice versa but realized, for example, that there is an ocean between us and she does not want to keep both of our hopes up too much or whatever, then I would take it slowly. I think my actions on exclusivity would depend on the woman. If she is a woman who wants to take things slowly then I think I would react to it accordingly. Although, I would make my feelings and intentions clear.
  6. I agree with Vince here. All things being equal, I think I would choose the online person. For several reasons here: 1) Like Vince said, you are already emotionally invested and I want to keep the connection I have with this person. 2) LDR/LDF (long distance friendships) can teach you many things about yourself and even the other person. For example, you can learn to be patience and understanding. You also learn to cherish the moments you have together too. In addition, being separated from each other, in some way can put the pressure off both of you. There is not necessarily a pressure to perform unlike in relationships where you actually meet the person. 3) Long distance relationships are difficult but I think if both of you survive and are willing to make it work it can be worth it. I would also want the online person to tell me she met someone in real life. Although, I also would be disappointed. I would want to know though. I would be happy for her and do my best to move on.
  7. I think long distance relationships are worth it. I think the quality of the relationship will depend on the maturity of the people involved. For example, responding to a person via email may take time and some people may not be patient on waiting. I think that's a characteristic of doing this type of relationship. Then, you also have the thought of distance. If she lives in another country that could be another obstacle to meeting each other but I think it is possible,
  8. No longer fun..... (?)

    I miss your thoughts, lol.
  9. Mental issues...

    Hi Liz, . Hmm...empath huh? I think I can relate with your description of in the sense where when I feel connected to someone I tend to want to fulfill their needs without thinking about how I am feeling sometimes. It is something I am working on: having the capability to generally acknowledge my feelings during the moment. Not sure if this is what you meant by empath. i have also had PTSD and depression too so I can relate. I think what has helped me with these issues (besides counseling) is finding someone I can trust and telling them my feelings. Or, I have joined a support group.
  10. Odd Relationship Start...

    Hey Liz, I am sorry to hear it :(. I don't have words on what you experienced. It is just sad and you have every right to not feel well. Thank you though for sharing your story with us and I do realize it must have been terribly embarrassing to do so. However, your story has helped me in some ways. Hang in there, :). -Chris
  11. I told my parents and my sister that I am waiting till marriage and they were supportive. True, it was awkward at first telling people you are waiting till marriage and a virgin, when it feels (at least to me) that the rest of world expects guys to have had sex already. For example, I was with a bunch of guy friends after a music jam session and one of the men looked me straight in my face and said, "hey you should go to the the Philippines and have sex with a bunch of beautiful women". He was from that country. I told him that I wanted to have sex with one woman, my wife. There was awkward silence following my remark lol. Yes sometimes you will feel pressured to have sex already, pressured to have children, or wonder if something is wrong with you because you are waiting till marriage. What I learned from that experience is waiting till marriage is a difficult decision but it is your decision and it is a good one. What helped me when I felt tempted to give up waiting till marriage is finding like-minded good friends who support your decision to wait and I found them on this site.
  12. The Positive Thread

    This picture helped me through graduate school.
  13. Odd Relationship Start...

    Hey Liz, Congratulations on meeting this guy and thank you for telling me your story. It makes me feel better not only that I am not alone in "is there someone for me" but it gives me hope that there is a person who I can also really have a great connection with. You are an inspiration! I hope the best for you. Thanks for your update. -Chris
  14. Hey Vince, I don't think what you are asking for is irrational at all. I do think it is normal to ask it. As a guy who is also 31, I know I often wonder the same thing. For me, ideally, I would like to be a woman who I can experience many firsts with and she is also my one and only and vice versa. Why? Well, maybe those feelings have to do with the fact that I am a hopeless romantic or I have read marriage stories where the wife and husband meet each other for the first time and it feels like it was destined from above or something. These are feelings that I am comfortable with given my own life experiences, belief, and value system. However, the reality that I have learned in my life is that everybody has baggage. You have baggage and I have baggage. It is not something that is always disgusting but it can be normal. When I meet the right person for me, we will work well together given our own experiences, and I think we will have only eyes for each other. Let me give you an example from my own life: when my parents were first married, I am sure they thought about the ideal for them: have and raise children, live comfortably in a home etc.. But, life does not always work well for anybody. They did struggle at times yet they are still together and are married happily. The secret of their marriage may be in part that they still love each other, but I also think they complement each other well. I guess what I am saying is that is good to have ideal, but I also think it is good to it have rooted in reality. I know sometimes I wonder when it will be my turn to go on a date with a good woman, get married, have children etc.. However, I realize that it may not be in God's timing. Maybe I am not meant to have all those things right now; instead maybe I am meant to work on my single life. I know it is hard when I see a couple on Valentine's Day or I see people who have been married for a long time and they appear happy. I know I want those experiences but sometimes, I think I need to sometimes trust in God. I will pray for you that you meet the ideal that is right for you and it may be what you need. -Chris
  15. "Romance scam" artists

    Thanks for letting us know Syzygy.