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About Slayerofdragon

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    The One Who Slays Dragons
  • Birthday July 31

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    Basketball, guitar, chess, reading, oldies
  1. Hey all, Mark again doing a 2018 checking-in!

    Hey Mark, welcome back to the Forums. Congratulations on finishing university. I am happy for you. I have been doing well over here: I am still finishing uni but I hope to be finished with it soon. Nice to hear from you again, :). Chris
  2. Hey! I have also struggled with depression and anxiety over the years especially when it comes to relationships too. In my experience, I have not had any successful romantic relationships either. Um... how long have you known this person? I think it can be easy to become attached to who a person is based on what you see online especially if you have not met the person yet. On the other hand, I know I can fall for someone hard and I am the type of person who wants to give 100% of myself to a relationship. My past history with unsuccessful relationships sometimes may cloud my feelings, in other words I may see someone who I think is amazing and my need to be with her may not just be genuine but as a result of my past relationship history: I want so bad to be succesfull and I see a chance at doing it. I have also felt like I will never be in a successful relationship. I think what helps me from time to time deal with my emotions is try to take a step back and see where my feelings are coming from. I think I would wait to tell her about your beliefs. If she opens up and tells you her beliefs or feelings, I think that would give you an opportunity to ask yourself if you feel comfortable telling her. Chris
  3. What qualities are you looking for?

    loyal, humorous, same values/beliefs, attractive, and caring.
  4. I think you will find a gf. From the list you posted and reading your previous posts, I am making a guess that you lack confidence in yourself. Here is an article that may help you. How to get a girlfriend when you think you cannot get one:
  5. 2MetresAbove is is here!

    Hey Kris, Welcome to the forums! I can relate with your perspective. I have had limited dating experience myself (never made it to the 2nd date), and most of the women I have asked out either have boyfriend or just want to stay friends. I hope you enjoy your stay while you are here. Chris
  6. Been so lonely as of late.

    Hey, I am sorry that you are dealing with theses circumstances. I can relate with your feeling that you do not really have a community. I had the same feeling when I went to graduate school in another state that was pretty far away from my home. I wanted to go home. I think it is great that you are connecting here and I am glad to see you again on the forums. Chris
  7. Jojo, Welcome, :). I second what Vince posted here. It is possible to wait and find the type of man that you are looking for. I am also a firm believer in staying true to your values and beliefs. Even though those around you may have failed relationships, it does not mean that you will have one. I think it is normal to think about sex a lot (especially at your age) but that does not mean that you need to have sex and be like everyone else. I know from experience that I also think a lot of about sex and meeting my future wife, however, I want to wait till marriage to honor her and our relationship.
  8. Hey all, Mark again doing a 2018 checking-in!

    Hey Mark! Glad to hear from you, brother! I am still in graduate school at the moment and hopefully finish this year. I hope you are enjoying college and I am glad to hear you are still an anime and Disney fan! I am still waiting and still single myself. My life really has not changed much. School has mostly been eating up my time.
  9. I want to die

    I am sorry to hear that you were cheated on by your only friend. Betrayal is something that really hits deep and is difficult to let go and just be yourself. How do I know this? I was also betrayed by someone I trusted. Sometimes after the betrayal it is hard for us to see straight, to look through the fog of our emotions because it is clouded by feelings and not 100% objectivity. Killing yourself won't change anything. It will stop your feelings permanently because you are dead but you will not be able to be present for your the other feelings (like happiness) or moments (like seeing a beautiful sunset). There are people here who have felt what you have felt, so you are not alone. Hang in there, it will get better. I am also available if you need to talk.
  10. Hey Vince, I don't think you are complaining about worst-case scenarios. I believe you are being realistic in your views and thank you for posting. These feelings of yours are some that I have definitely felt as I have become older as a waiter. I will be honest and say that I have many unmarried aunts and uncles and while I respect them for choosing to be single for whatever reason, it pains me that maybe I won't get married in the future. I think that maybe your feelings stem from the thought, "hey what what will I miss out on ." As you get older, I know I have felt my dating pool shrink. It seems that many woman are already taken or they are just not into you. The older male waiter seems to be a rarity among the males in our society. However, I do think there is a silver lining here. As you get older, I think you become more sure and stable in life (for the most part) than you were at your younger ages. i also think women sense it and gravitate toward it. From knowing you in the forums for many years, you have matured as a person (I think) and it shows. I don't know what the future is in store for you but I believe it is a bright one. Here is a story that may cheer your spirits: I was watching a tv show about a man who came back to his Christian faith and he had the same worries as you: when will I meet my wife. Anyway, he wanted to get married and this feeling was genetically ingrained in him. I mean, throughout his daily life, he would think about it constantly and complain to God about it. High school comes and he thinks he will have a girlfriend, Nope. No girls are interested in him. College comes and he joins this prayer group thinking he will met his future wife in that group. He found that his interaction and membership in the group increased his prayer and spiritual life. Long story short, he did find his wife but he was 35...35 years old. He also worried about having babies because let's face it, he is getting older. First time does not work, not even the second time, but through prayer him and his wife conceive and they have two twin daughters. I think the hardest part is to trust in God with your life (I find it difficult too), but I think if you let go and let God in control, you will have weight off of your shoulders. I will keep you in my prayers about your feelings in this post Chris
  11. Hi DHZ, I agree with seabutterfly. Therapy can help or talk with someone you trust about your problems. From own experience, being by yourself with your problems sometimes is not a good solution because we might amplify our feelings about issues and not see clearly. If we talk with somebody we trust and knows us he or she can helps find a solution to a problem or help us mirror our feelings and calm us down. In addition, doing something active or something we enjoy can sometimes help with our depressed and negative feelings because it provides an outlet for those emotions. Finally, our environment can have an influence on our feelings and emotions such as a group of friends.
  12. I agree with you redgrapes. I think finding a girlfriend is also based on timing. For some people, finding a gf may not happen immediately and you may need to find yourself in a different situation/environment for it to happen. On the other hand, not stressing yourself about it also important too. It will help you calm down by focusing on other things and who knows you may find a gf when you least expect it :).
  13. I am a graduate student at the moment and while I am not married yet, I also feel pursuing a relationship while in graduate school depends on the person. I also feel similar to you Bob about not wanting to pursue a relationship while in graduate school. The main reason why I feel this way is because I do not have time to really devote my energy to that relationship. However, I do feel that having relationships are important. For example, I think it is important to have a support group including circle of friends. I think what helped me wait while in graduate school is finding a group of friends who share similar values. As Gema, articulated well graduate school is a sacrifice but I also think it is well worth it if you enter your program for the right reasons. You change and grow as a person when you enter this period in your life and feel it will be a benefit to your future relationship with your wife.
  14. I also get where you are coming from. I do not think waiting till marriage is considered normal by society standards. I know I have felt similar as I become older and I still choose to wait till marriage because for me I feel sort of alone in my decision to wait and at my age it feels like people are getting married or already married. Like Vince, I have not been in romantic relationship with a woman yet and I sometimes feel the pressure of hooking up with a woman. However, I know that would go against my principles on sex and relationships. Hang in there Will. There are people like myself who understand a little bit of what you are going through and support you.
  15. Hi, recently joined

    Welcome to the site, :).