LookingForTheOne

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About LookingForTheOne

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  1. Would you do a prenuptial agreement?

    I used to think this way. Now I disagree. This may have been the case in the past, but now, if anything, a prenup helps discourage divorce--by saying "if you divorce me, you don't get to take anything that was mine before marriage." In other words, it eliminates the financial incentive that many people have in mind when divorcing. If your spouse does end up pulling a fast one on you and reneges on their wedding vows, you have to protect yourself. I, too, don't like the idea of a prenup as part of a "Hollywood marriage"--for example, "with this prenup, I will be able to divorce them more easily". But what do you do if they file for divorce? Prenuptial agreements aren't cheapening marriage--they are a reaction against divorce, which is what's actually cheapening marriage. Of course, since even that often doesn't work (courts refuse to uphold them, which means you can lose everything anyway), it's best to not get a marriage license.
  2. While I understand your annoyance, this is a common problem and I even think his reaction is justified. The problem is that men and women can't be "just friends" if attraction is involved. It makes interaction between you more awkward, and he would be pulling at his heartstrings for something that won't materialize. I think he realizes that being just friends won't get him any closer to what he wants. You did do the right thing by being honest, and I would like to think that your friendship could continue, but in most cases it doesn't work that way.
  3. Absolutely not, unfortunately.
  4. How long would you wait for marriage?

    I'd want to get married as soon as possible! The relationship pre-marriage shouldn't last more than 2 years.
  5. What are your goals in life?

    To get a good wife and have a family together! It's far more important to me than money, a career or what have you.
  6. Just a hypothetical...it does not apply to me right now. Say you want to explain your celibacy to your significant other, who does not want to wait until marriage. Or you've discovered that your partner isn't waiting or isn't a virgin, and you want to end the relationship. Or you've simply decided to break the ice because you haven't talked about it but feel that the time has come to do so. How do you go about that? What do you say and how do you broach the topic?
  7. ?Consummate the Marriage?

    That's exactly what it is. After your wedding, you come back home with your new spouse, and one of you says, "Now what?" (really more like "what are we waiting for?") And everything goes from there.
  8. Marrying Someone Who Was Married Before

    Well, I don't know what the other men think, but I wouldn't go for either and I don't see a difference.
  9. Marrying Someone Who Was Married Before

    No, I've stated before that I want to marry a virgin. I wouldn't waive that requirement even for a widow, much less a divorcee. And I wouldn't be comfortable with being someone's second husband as I myself have never been married yet.
  10. "The one" versus "my one and only"?

    Correct. Despite my user name, I think the idea of "soul mates" is flawed, and it's not what I think of when I talk about "the one".
  11. Now, of course, all of us are "looking for the one". And I've noticed that it's not that uncommon...even among people who are not waiting until marriage. I have heard something along the lines of "he's/she's the one!" even from people who aren't waiting. But they don't mean it in the same way we waiters do. Thoughts?
  12. Post Pro-WTM Pictures

    This one is by far the best. I know it's old, but I'd change the third line to: "Lucky guys get to be her only."
  13. Am I A Bad Person?

    I think it's normal to think the way you do. You do want the physical...yet, you also want to wait. I'm sure it's easy to be "torn" between these ideas. Personally, I don't think that what you're doing is good (and I don't mean to condemn you--but I don't think it's a good idea from the perspective of waiting till marriage). If you do go past mere kissing, it becomes so much harder to resist going all the way. and the creation of the "gray area" is exactly why so many people who intended on waiting eventually "slip up". It's much easier, from a WTM perspective, to firmly point out "no, I'll only kiss you or hold hands, but nothing private" or something like that. (Although I personally like the idea of only sharing your body with your spouse, which is why I don't like the idea of going beyond a kiss or hand-holding before marriage.)
  14. I´m [name removed], non-virgin

    It's good that you understand what you're going for--and yes, it's hard to wait when you're not a virgin anymore. However, it's not a deal-breaker for everyone; there are even men in the same situation as you.
  15. Rejection question

    This was exactly what I was thinking of when I was saying "you didn't want me young; you won't get me old." Overall, you hit the nail on the head right there.