Jessi

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About Jessi

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  1. so, a quick update. I've decided to move into another apartment. I'm just waiting for them to assign me to a new one right now. It hasn't been getting better really, and I think a change of venue might help. It might also make the rest of this semester suck cause I have to get used to new roommates and a new apartment. We plan to still hang out, just not to see eachother every day after I've moved. (on a slight side note, I've noticed that he seems to drink more than he did before. but I think that's just cause he's started hanging out with these guys that are kind of partiers. not every night, just on the weekends and like a beer here and there during the week.)
  2. it's okay. a little better the last couple of days. we don't fight or anything. we never did really. a couple of times I've had to leave the room because I got a little too depressed. But, over all, it's good. I've kind of gotten back to where I can joke around with him a little.
  3. Okay, so some of you might remember at the start of the summer I asked what I should do about my (now ex) boyfriend's mom not liking me. well, we lasted the summer, moved into the same apartment together, and a week ago he broke up with me. He said that he didn't think that he would be able to spend the time with me that I needed in order for him to feel like he was treating me right, because he has a bunch of high-stress, high homework level classes. The lease for the apartment is a year, which means it won't be up until this next summer. I can switch apartments for a $200 fee, but I don't know that I want to. I like the set up and everything about living in the apartment except that every time we are in the same room for a very long time I get bummed out again. but, if I move, I know that the actual moving will make me even more depressed, and I don't like the idea of dealing with it in a new apartment, with new roommates. at least in this one I can go to my room (we have seperate rooms, with locks) and be in a somewhat familiar place. Besides, I don't want the start of my relationship with new roomies to involve locking myself in a room and crying the first two days of living together. It's got potential for setting a bad impression, and there aren't any single apartments in the complex I'm at. And, while I'm depressed about the break up, I really don't want him out of my life. having him around helps me cope sometimes, and others just reminds me why I need help coping in the first place. it is confusing, and sucky. so, I have two questions: how do I go about being friends with my ex, and how do I deal with living in the same apartment, without avoiding him? I want to at least return to the way we were before we started dating, if I can't have things the way they were two weeks ago.
  4. I think my parents would be disappointed if they thought I was sexually active (it seems to make the word sound less bad to phrase it that way) but I don't think they would act like they were too upset with me. My brother got caught with his gf and brought home by a cop, and they were apparently mad, but they still have a good relationship with him. I have a similar situation with alcohol though. I don't drink, and my friends are okay with that (aside from the occasional comment about how I should try it) but my family acts like it's so wierd. especially since I am legally allowed to (I'm 22).
  5. Predestination

    I don't believe in pre-destination. I believe that God might influences things, but not that things are predetermined. Although I have to admit, it would be easier to let things go if I thought that God had already decided whether we would go to Heaven or Hell. And overall, I don't think its a big deal whether a person believes in predestination or not, but I did have one guy (who keeps trying to convert me, a christian, to chriistianity) that argued with me about it for at least half an hour. I got the feeling that he figured if you didn't believe in everything he believes, then you are going to hell. I was a little upset with myself for letting that happen. I don't talk to him anymore. I got tired of arguing.
  6. Giving Blood!

    My first time at giving blood didn't go too well either. they didn't get the whole amount, they messed something up to where it hurt every time I squeezed my hand, and I ended up with a huge bruise that lasted a few weeks and looked real nasty. it was kinda cool. but I've donated a lot since then, and none of the whole blood donations were that bad, although I did have a nirse mess up when i donated plasma. But I don't even bruise anymore from the needle. I would say to just tell yourself that the last time was a fluke, because it was. That stuff doesn't happen often, so don't be too worried. It helps to calm the nerves, if you have like a worry stone you can play with. I read an article in a magazine that said touching something plush helps you to feel good, so maybe stick a small stuffed animal in the pocket of the side you wont have a needle in so that you can pet it? Also, talking with the nurse about your previous experience might help. he or she can tell you that you will be fine and give you tips to get the blood flowing. If you squeez the little ball or your hand more quickly, the blood tends to flow faster. I noticed that when I was donating plasma and could watch how quickly the blood went through the tube, a little easier. needless to say, I'm a little interested in stuff like that. I usually watch them put the needle in. I think, for me, it helps it hurt less because I am expecting it... and I think it's kinda fun to watch anyway.
  7. I agree Missy. usually i won't apologize if I feel like I am not in the wrong. In this case, the only thing keeping me from deleting his mom from facebook is that I don't want to end up breaking up with my boyfriend over his parents. And I'm not apologizing for everything. There were a couple of other things that my boyfriend said she told him, like apparently they thought I was blowing him off when he was acting excited about stuff i really didn't find interesting. But if he didn't get that feeling, then why should they care? That was at Ikea, he was excited about the room models the store had set up. He kept talking about how effecient the rooms were with their space, but I was more interested in aesthetic appeal. He's an architectural engineering major, and I'm an english major, so we gravitated toward different elements of the rooms. at least I will have the trip to Israel to calm down a bit. Then I won't be so annoyed and can handle apologizing for things that aren't that big a deal. in all honesty, if she had mentioned something to me before all that, it would have been a more genuine apology. Thanks for responding guys. I needed people to talk to that aren't going to end up meeting them and have biases against them if I talk about it.
  8. What do you think?

    I think your dress should be what you like. What you do and wear is for for you, not other people. As long as it's not hurting anyone (a dress that shows off a girls chest is probably not something parents want their kids to see.)
  9. Female input is needed.

    Chances are she was trying to say she wants to hang out, make an exuse for having not talked in a while, and make sure that he knows there is a chance that something important will come up where she will have to cancel. I wouldn't worry too much about it.
  10. Yeah. Some people are just... blah. I can't even think of a good word for it. I am going to apologize for the no thank you with his parents. I don't really get the feeling that his friends grandma was so... hostile? maybe sneaky is a better word. in any case, I really want to apologize to her. the apologies to the parents will be a little harder. My boyfriend and I are going on seperate trips out of the country in a few days, so I won't have a chance to talk to them for 3 weeks anyway, but I keep going over what I want to say in my head, and it always turns into "yeah, I should have said thanks, but that doesn't give you the right to make me feel like crap, and you should have just talked to me about it like an adut," among other thoughts. I'm starting to think this whole "apologizing" thing is going to be difficult. If she had just told me it hurt her feelings, I'de have started saying sorry 20 times and and trying to make her feel better. instead she goes behind my back like that. (I got the impression it was mostly his mom.) On the bright side, his parents said he shouldn't talk to me at all after I left for the summer, and he is still texting me here and there, so I feel like he actually wants to talk to me and be with me, instead of just doing what his parents said. and it turns out, his friends (who were supposed to have not liked me either) just thought I was shy and he said they would wait until next time we meet to start passing judgement. So that makes me feel a little better about myself, I wasn't totally hated by everyone whose opinion my boyfriend values.
  11. I'm not sure what he said exactly to them. I think he probably explained the shy thing later, because it was after that first night that they said they would give me a "second chance." He is autistic, and said that he had to get off the phone for ten min. before talking to them again or he would have had what he called "an autistic meltdown." And I agree, my parents would never say something like that while I was with a guy. I had one ex that I found out everyone hated him AFTER we broke up, but no one said anything for the 2 years we were together. The grandmother is his friends grandmother, but they consider eachother family. My boyfriend refers to her as "Grandma" not " my friend's Grandma," but they aren't blood-related or anything. But yeah, I think it does mean they were all gossiping about me. I understand asking eachother about their opinions of me after meeting me, it's the way his parents handled it that bugs me. You're right about the second chance thing also. I doubt that I will ever be able to forget how horrible I felt that night. I spent the whole next morning at work wondering how many of the customers left thinking I had been rude to them.
  12. So, Thursday (the day before I left for the summer, and won't be seeing him for 3 months) I found out that my boyfriends parents and his friends didn't like me when we spent a week with them for spring break. Not only did they not like me. They disliked me enough to tell him that we shouldn't be in contact all summer so we can "think about our relationship" and figure out why it is we miss eachother. The main complaint (really the only complaint) was that i was rude. I can see where they get that from, because I forgot to say thank you a few times, and when we were leaving I planned on saying thank you, but I couldn't get my mouth to work. I get nervous in social situations, which is 90% of the reason for it. My boyfriend and I both thought the week went well, and we were both surprised when his parents called and told him that no one liked me, of the like 6 people I met (literally, the dog was the only one that liked me). They said that his friends grandmother thought I was ignoring her when we met, but the truth is we met at a squaredancing club full of strange people. i tend to kind of shut up and speak when spoken to in those situations because I get nervous and am very shy around new people, even more so in a situation like that. and to make matters worse that night, they wanted me to square dance with tem, but I hadn't even finished the lessons and was lost the whole time. talk about reinforcing my insecurity there. I feel guilty about not saying thank you, and that the grandmother got the impression I was ignoring her. If i had known i was hurtiung people's feelings I would have tried harder to do something different. That said, I feel like his parents are basically telling him he should break up with me, and the way they acted was 10 times worse than anything i did or did not do over te break because my behaviour was unintentional, they were deliberatly trying to cause pain. My boyfriend said they were willing to give me a second cance and a clean slate, but honestly, unless they are willing to apologize I'm not sure I'm willing to give them one right now. They basically confirmed every insecurity I had, then said they didn't want me to talk to the one person who could best make that feeling go away. and they think I need the clean slate? So... do you guys think I'm justified here? I'm planning on writing a letter to the mom and grandma apologizing for the not saying thank you and making the grandmother feel ignored, and I told my bf that I he could have them call me on his phone so I could apologize that way also. But I still feel like his parents reaction was too far, and incredibly sneaky and cold-hearted. I just need advice from people who aren't too close to me. I can't tell my parents, because I don't want them to have that bias against him or his parents when our parents meet. but I have no doubt that my parents would never act that way. I got back together with a guy who cheated on me once and even then they didn't act that way.
  13. I've had it happen a few times. two of the guys were (and still are) really close friends of mine. and another is a friend, but we really don't know eachother that well. a lot of times I'll just ignore it, if it's just flirting, but if they actually say something, then I'll say something along the lines of "you're a great friend, but I just don't see you that way. I'm sorry." and depending on the person we might talk about it. One of them doesn't push it too much, the other two will bring it up again sometimes, which leads to hurt feelings on both ends cause I feel bad for not liking them and they feel bad for me not liking them. but it can't really be helped. Especially since I have a boyfriend. it complicates things...
  14. What about tattoos?

    I tried getting my belly button pierced, but the first time I went they did it crooked and offered to let me get it re-done by someone with more experience; then he did it too deep, so the only thing that would fit was a ring, not the little dangly ones that I like. So I let it heal up. I might get it done by someone else later, but you aren't allowed to donate blood for three months or plasma for 12 if you get a new piercing. (there's a place in the town where I go to college, that pays you 20 bucks each time you give the plasma that they use in medicines, the whole process is kinda cool.)
  15. What about tattoos?

    I feel special, (and somewhat insulted) because I have a tattoo. I like it, I got it some time after high-school I think, (I have no real concept of time honestly) so it's about 3 years old now, on my back right shoulder, because the cross represents Jesus, so it's like following that whole "right hand man" concept I guess. My parents told me if I was going to get one I should get something that I'm not going to change my mind on later, so bands and stuff would be a bad idea. I have an ex with his own nickname tattooed on his back. but he was easily manipulated and obsessed with looking cool. I got mine because I wanted it, not because I wanted other people to like me. it's on my back so that I can hide it if I need to (like for job interviews and stuff) but show it off if I felt like it. here's a picture of it, if it shows up.