SnowWhite

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About SnowWhite

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  1. I am not religious myself- baptized Catholic, but I don't practice religion regularly. I decided to wait because I did not want to put my life in jeopardy. First, I was not ready/able to support a baby when I was in my teens and unmarried, so it wasn't worth it to me to take the risk. Also, I believed that I wanted to save myself for one incredibly special person- my husband. I didn't want the binding emotional ties to other men, and I wanted to know that there was only one person who would get all of me. I dated my husband for six months before we got engaged, and within another six months we got married, so 1 year total! He was not a waiter but respected my decision.
  2. Need some Advice...

    I guess my question- Why? Why, if they know we are in love, have a plan for our future, and I treat their son well, are they so opposed to an engagement? It's a promise to get married. I don't see why that is so wrong.
  3. Need some Advice...

    I don't know if I explained his parents well enough in my initial post, when I was trying to get everything out in a little time lol. My boyfriend's mother and father live an extremely showy lifestyle. Although his father never went to college and they both have average jobs, they spend all of their money buying brand name and designer clothes, purchasing a big (empty) house, having to have new cars, and going on vacation. I come from a modest family, honestly more well off than they are but never needing the latest and greatest. I believe that this initially put a divide in our relationship. Since we come from different backgrounds and our parents have different priorities, I believe that they resent that their son is very comfortable living a modest lifestyle with me. I do not need to impress anyone, and they constantly feel the need to. My boyfriend's father was what you would call a "player" in high school- sleeping around, dating all the time. His son staying a virgin until marriage is not something that he agrees with. He's told my boyfriend that you need to "test the milk before you buy it." Initially when we first started dating, I death with many comments about my decision to stay pure. I believe that his father also resents me since I am the reason that his son is not "getting laid." I mentioned that his father made a comment about cutting the grass. At the end of our conversation about getting engaged, my boyfriend's father was clearly unhappy that I was unwilling to accept his view and conform to his beliefs. He said "Son, I told you, you need to cut the grass." What he meant is that my boyfriend needs to "cut me down," and basically shut me up, before I get too "tall" (start voicing my opinions all the time). Every point that I brought up during the conversation (Why can't we still have fun and be engaged? Being engaged doesn't mean getting married soon, I want to wait until I have a career. Your son won't be leaving anytime soon. I love your son and we want to move forward in our life) was met by responses that were, in my opinion, disrespectful. I no longer want to talk to them about issues like this, seeing as it doesn't feel like I get anywhere. I also refuse to be walked all over and treated with disrespect when I have done nothing to deserve it.
  4. Need some Advice...

    I really do try to put myself in their shoes. I can see how it would be scary for a mom to feel like she was "losing" her son, especially since she's an only child. Believe it or not, I am actually in my senior year. Because of a major change, he will not be graduating for another 2 years, but I will be done after next fall. When I asked to sit down with his parents, I really wanted to discuss the issue at hand and understand their feelings while also sharing mine. In return, I got rude comments. His father told us things like "you need 3 months salary to buy a ring," "you didn't go to the homecoming football game," and "son, you need to trim the grass (me) before it gets too tall." In his home, his mother listens to whatever his father says and goes along with everything. We are very mature, and have had a mature relationship for almost 2 years. I feel like I'm often lacking the respect I deserve. I always wonder why they don't seem to want me. I understand what you're saying about a "peace offering." Knowing them, I believe they feel obligated to take their son on vacation (since they just went on a tropical vacation without him) and know that he will not go if I am not involved. I've been on two vacations before with them, and simply don't feel comfortable going this time. I really, more than anything, want a relationship with them. I want a "second family." It's very hard realizing that it will never happen. I can tolerate them, but I can't honestly at this point see it being more than that.
  5. Hi, everybody! I'm facing a difficult situation right now and I'm searching advice from others who have gone through a similar time. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years in February. I am 19 and he is 20, and we are both in college. We have always been very serious about our relationship, and about 3-4 months into our relationship began discussing the possibility of marriage and a future together. Recently, I once again brought up the subject, more seriously this time. I see people my age getting engaged, and I know I want to be with him for the rest of my life. After talking with him, we agreed that getting engaged seems reasonable within the next year, as long as we wait to get married until we are finished with school and have jobs (we are waiting until marriage, BTW). His parents are very against the idea of us getting engaged. I asked to speak with them both about the topic when it first came up, and was met with rude, seemingly sarcastic reasons why we are "too young" and need to "enjoy life and not rush into things." Things blew up, and my boyfriend fought with them for days. His parents have never been my "cup of tea." They have never really taken an interest in my, or his, life, and I get very frustrated. They act like they care and want the best for him, but I don't see actions that support this. In my opinion, his father wishes that his son was out sleeping around and not getting serious with a girl, and his mother doesn't want her baby boy to leave. I have always treated them well, and feel as though I have gone out of my way on numerous occasions to be nice to them. Although in the end we "agreed to disagree" about the getting engaged situation, I still have hostile feelings and feel as though I am not wanted or liked. This frustrates me, because I don't understand why they would not be happy that their son is dating a nice girl. A few weeks after the fight, his mother called me and asked if I would be interested in traveling to Hawaii with them next year. I was incredibly shocked. I have traveled with his family before, but I was still trying to get over the disagreement we had gone through just weeks prior. I saw his parents yesterday, and they again mentioned the Hawaii vacation, and also asked me about going to FL with them the day after Christmas. I politely declined, not wanting to be away from my family and, honestly, not feeling comfortable going away with them. I feel like I am hurting my boyfriend and almost putting him in the middle of a bad situation. I am not comfortable around his parents, and do not foresee having a close relationship with them in the future. Although I encourage him to still go away with them and do things with them, I know he will not, not wanting to leave me behind. I get so frustrated being around them. I cannot let go the harsh feelings, and every time I am around them I feel like they take another stab at me. Has anybody else dealt with a similar situation with a significant other? Am I in the wrong?
  6. Hey all! I've been MIA here for a while, but I want to get back to posting! I was hoping you all could help me out. I'm currently trying to win a contest. The prize is free salads for a year from Saladworks. Any Facebook user can vote for my photo once every 24 hours. It's only two clicks- I would be so thrilled if you all could vote!! I'm currently in second place by about 200 votes. Also, please introduce yourself- I want to meet all the new members! Here's the contest link: http://bit.ly/1t06393 Thank you in advance!!
  7. Birthday Gift!

    Hello, everybody! I have a really random, pretty much off-topic question. I REALLY need some help on ideas of what to get my boyfriend for his birthday. His birthday is later this month. I know him like the back of my hand, so I thought it would be easy to think of a gift-but it has been so frustratingly hard!! Have any of you ever received/given a birthday gift that was the best thing ever? I don't want to just buy him clothes or shoes or something, I would rather it be either something sentimental and heatfelt or an experience that we could share together. Thanks!
  8. Okay, so I'm crazy in love with my boyfriend. We've only been dating for about 4 months, but he was my best friend before we started dating and we're incredibly close. We've already had discussions about getting married later in our lives. He doesn't believe in wating til marriage, but he knows my standpoint and is willing to wait for me (he is also a virgin). He says that he will always respect my boundaries and that I'm worth it to wait for. I, personally, am not waiting for religious reasons. I am waiting because 1. I don't need to get myself pregnant and in trouble lol and 2. I want give my V-card to the man who I will spend my whole life with. We have gone on vacation together (With his parents in the same room, of course), and I honestly cannot imagine ever having stronger feelings for somebody else. I know that this discussion takes place a lot, but I often question my boundaries. Even though we're waiting for marriage, I have engaged in things that may not be considered "pure" by some of the WTM community. I know "purity" is a definition that everybody makes for themselves, but can anybody else feel my pain? I want to be able to share those sexual desires with my boyfriend (even without going all they way) but sometimes I feel guilty or like I'm doing something wrong... We've talked about it and he says he understands my boundaries. It's not that I don't WANT to do some more intimate things, but I always have a constant guilt (which is strange, because nobody has ever told me that I'm doing something wrong) and sometimes I even wonder how I define my own boudnaries. Can anybody else attest to this? Am I just crazy? haha
  9. "Settling"

    I saw this post and couldn't help but comment on it. I was previously in a year-long relationship which lasted much longer than it should have. I was unhappy in the relationship (for many reasons), and a big part of it was because I had no attraction to the boy I was dating. I cared about him deeply as a friend/brother figure, but no romantic relationship should have developed-he had romatic feelings about me that I simply didn't feel towards him. The thought of kissing him, seeing him wasn't exciting to me- it made me miserable inside, but I felt too bad for him to break up with him because I never wanted to hurt him! Finally we parted ways. I am now in a relationship with an amazing guy who I am very attracted to. We share tons of common interests and can laugh and joke together. He is not a waiter but knows that I am and respects my choice. I am so much happier now that there is some "chemistry" or "spark" between us. It makes me want to see him and be around him so much more than I did before. I can say that even though there may not need to be an overwhelming rush of emotion and attraction that you feel every time you see your significant other, you do need to be attracted to them and have a desire to be with them- otherwise, you're caught in a friendship that has gone too far.
  10. My Boyfriend Says...

    Once again, thank you Sarah!!! You really are hitting the nail on the head- everything you've said has been great and I really appreciate it. I know our relationship is still young and I would want to give it time before I do anything, even if I were to eventually change my mind. I know my boyfriend has a bit of "only child syndrom" and is used to getting his way, and that I will just have to gently break him of that! lol I can't see myself changing after all, I know I want to be able to wear white on my wedding day and save myself for the only man I ever want to be with- I just hope that he is that man! Lonely Knight- thank you also for your insight. I try not to be too "uptight" and "prudish"- I'm not into having sex before marriage, but I don't want to completely cut off anything intimate! I don't think he's a bad person or that I can't date him just because he himself was never taught to wait. If I was raised in a different household, I probably wouldn't be waiting either! My biggest thing is that I just want someone who can repsect my decision and not pressure me!
  11. My Boyfriend Says...

    Thank you guys! All the advice really helps. Especially Sarah, that really does put everything in perspective. Everybody always says that guys have crazy hormones going on, and I understand that, and am flattered that he wants me. I don't think it will be a problem with him proposing right now because we are both just starting our college careers, we're not financially stable or able to get married at the moment. It's very hard for me because sometimes I feel like he truly is the right one and I do have the desire to share something so personal with him, but I know my boundaries and can't compromise at the moment. It's a strange feeling for me because never before have I felt such a desire; I really love him and know he feels the same way, so sometimes it seems like the waiting thing sucks!! Although anything good is worth waiting for. I get frustrated with his father occasionally because he has always taught him to "try the milk before you buy the cow." When my boyfriend told his parents I was waiting, they looked at him like he was crazy and told him they didn't think anybody did that anymore. I know he was not raised in the kind of environment where waiting is encouraged, which is why I can understand him getting frustrated and not understanding my point of view. I really deep down trust him and believe he respects me, I just always hope I never find anything to the contrary!
  12. Hey everybody! I haven't been on here in so long, but I can tell that the community has grown and flourished! I have been reading a lot of the posts on here, and they are really inspiring. I have something I would like to discuss. I'm currently in a relationship with my best friend. We were great friends before we started dating, and when he confessed that he had feelings for me I was thrilled because I felt the same way! We have been in a relationship for a little over 3 months, and he makes me so happy- I can joke with him, laugh with him, I always want to spend time with him! I feel like he may be the one for me. He knew that I was WTM before we even got in a relationship, and the topic has come up several times. He personally has never had sex but he says but was not planning to wait, although when we discuss the topic he says that he would never lose me over something like sex. However, sometimes I think he believes that I'll change my mind over time. He's made me a much happier, less tense person, and I think he maybe believes he'll change my WTM status. Sometimes he'll jokingly say "you'll change." I really trust him and know he would never hurt me, but I also know he is a young guy and sex is on his mind. My other problem is, sometimes I don't know where my line is as far as waiting. I of course have desires to be with him, but I know that I cannot act on them. Has anybody else had a hard time knowing what their limit is? He is more aggressive than I am, although he always tells me that he will never make me uncomfortable and I can always tell him if I am. Sometime I worry that he will get frustrated if I tell him "no" (even to things that aren't sex). Any advice is apprecaited! Thank you so much and I can't wait to get to know you all better!!
  13. Hey everybody! I love this topic, because (much like you Mark), I really want to be married early in life. I'm single, and after getting out of a crappy relationship a few months ago, I am being much more selective this time around! I'm definitely keeping my eyes and ears open to all possibilities. I'm only 16, but I want to graduate college in 3 years and I feel like I have the maturity of a 25-year-old! My main goal in life is to get married and have a family, and ideally I would love to be married before 22. I know that sounds really early, and I just have to wait and see what happens!
  14. Hmmm that is a good idea! But right now I'm wearing my class ring on my right hand.... oh, decisions, decision!
  15. Hey everybody! I've had this topic on my mind a lot recently with homecoming rapidly approaching, and would love to get the point-of-view of other waiters! As I'm sure you all know, grinding is the popular dance at high school dances/the clubs. In my opinion, it looks like a couple simulating sex on the dance floor. At my school, girls will hike their dresses up, bend over, and rub themselves (their *backsides*) all over guys' crotches (sorry to get descriptive, lol). I refuse to partake in this dancing because I feel like it is WAY too suggestive, and is no different than having sex with clothes on. This year, I've decided to boycott school dances. I've been to all three homecomings and one prom so far during high school, and am simply fed up. I can't go to these dances and enjoy myself without having to watch the grinding. I love to dance, just not grind. At the prom last spring, my ex-boyfriend got so mad at me because I wouldn't grind with him that he wouldn't even barely talk to me/look at me for the rest of the night (between this and the ring issue, I'm sure you all can see why he's my ex!). I've decided it's just not worth going and getting upset this year. I am really curious to know how you all feel about grinding. Is it just me that thinks it's too raunchy? Do you grind when you go to functions? How do you feel about grinding? Please answer honestly! I really am curious to know true answers. Even if you disagree with me, please let me know!