DanceSingLove

Active Members
  • Content count

    69
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Community Reputation

154 Excellent

About DanceSingLove

  • Rank
    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 02/07/1991

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    USA

Recent Profile Visitors

3,191 profile views
  1. My husband and I dated a little over 5 years before becoming officially engaged (we had been talking about it after a year of dating, but I was only a senior in high school, him a freshman in college) and then we were engaged for about 13 months. We had also been long distance for a majority of the time we were dating (went to different colleges) so that and our age also contributed to why we waited so long to get married. We got married at 23/24 in June 2015 It was tough in the moment of all the waiting, distance etc but now being on the other side, I regret nothing
  2. My wedding was Saturday, and it was amazing! A very emotional day (and an extreme amount of stress between Wednesday and Saturday.. it was so bad. Most of this was because my husband and I live out of state from where we were getting married, so we had a lot of last minute stuff to do.) I haven't shared this on the forums before, but my husband and I have a different story than a lot of others on here might. The main thing is that we have lived together for almost a year, the whole time being while we were engaged. This was not my first choice, but after being long distance for 5 years (2.5 hours apart my senior year of college, 3.5 hours apart from my freshman-junior year of college, and 7.5 half hour drive (or a short plane ride) away my senior year of college. I then had to do a 6 month unpaid internship and chose to move to the state he was living in and just could not see myself getting my own apartment when he already had his, and having to pay two rent's would definitely have been more stressful financially. We did continue to wait for marriage, obviously although I would say we were pretty close to being okay with "everything but" sex/oral sex. My husbands primary love language is physical touch which I figured out early on and it just did not work out well for us to not have any physical relationship for over 6 years. We didn't do anything besides kissing and holding hands the first year we were together, and at that point we had also been discussing marriage even though we knew we would not be able to get married for a quite a while (I was still a senior in HS). We eventually figured out what we were okay with and I was very stubborn into not letting it go past that. The wedding night was wonderful. It was very much worth the wait! A bit nerve wracking, very emotional (It has taken the past few days to just calm down and realize I don't have to stress over any wedding stuff anymore, and I was also running on very little sleep..) but it was perfect. Having already been pretty comfortable with each other, it also made it less weird the wedding night. I honestly can't imagine doing absolutely nothing and then doing everything all at once. Our honeymoon cruise ship leaves today! Can't wait
  3. Wedding planning

    Pinterest and Etsy are both so wonderful! Even just for ideas that you can then think about how to personalize them for yourself. For the flowers we have been shopping around a bit to get estimates from different places and I literally just show them a picture I found on pinterest of a bouquet I love and they are just going to do that.. otherwise it was just too many options and incredibly overwhelming. and thanks for the 'congrats!' It has been a bit stressful, but is also such an exciting time!!
  4. Phantom of the Opera Appreciation thread

    This is seriously the coolest!! When I was in high school I saw Phantom of the Opera on a traveling broadway show, it was so neat! I'd love to see it again someday although there are so many other Broadway shows I haven't gotten to see yet...
  5. Wedding planning

    Inspired by the recent "weddings" topic Anybody else in the midst of wedding planning? Personally, I have NOT enjoyed a majority of it so far! I am so indecisive and I am not enjoying how expensive it is getting.. although we are very fortunate that our parents are helping us out quite a bit with the cost! I was SO overwhelmed at the beginning of planning after we got engaged, but it is getting better now that most of the big things are planned.. venues for ceremony & reception, the cake, I have my dress and bridesmaid/MOH have theirs, honeymoon is booked (cruise around the bahamas!), flowers tentatively figured out, many of the decorations for ceremony and reception are semi figured out, and also recently also decided on a couple to DJ/ run karaoke for the reception which I think will be SO fun! I still have some other things to figure out- hair and makeup for us the day of (I think I know where I want to go, just need to contact them) and some other decoration stuff but overall I am feeling very good about it and we are still 5 months out! We often joke that we should have just eloped, though.. It feels like planning is more trouble than its worth. People will still find something to complain about anyway we are too deep in to change our minds now, though haha. If you are married, did you enjoy the planning or find it stressful? If you are not married, are you looking forward to wedding planning?
  6. I sometimes have a hard time opening up to others as well, although not from any particular experiences. I am so sorry that you had to go through such awful bullying- no one should have to endure that. Kudos for having a positive outlook looking back and realizing how it has made you a stronger person today I am generally very quiet and it takes me a long time to get really comfortable with others. This is something that I think always should happen slowly, and progress naturally in any friendship as well as romantic relationships. One thing that my fiance and I started a couple months after we started dating (almost 6 years ago) that also was partially a result of being primarily long distance until 6 months ago, was we started doing nightly "questions" each of us would text each other questions and then both give an answer. They started out as really just get to know you better questions like favorite foods, colors, dislikes of food etc and progressed to more personal/intimate topics over time. I feel like this has really helped us get to know each other so well on an emotional level, even when we couldn't be together in person very often. We still continue this today although we often go through bouts of neither of us having any questions, which is not a big deal It takes time to open up to another person emotionally and the right person will be patient with you, especially if you share your story. I think sharing why it might take a little extra time for you to open up emotionally would be important and will help them understand you a little bit better.
  7. WTM relationship challenges

    I just wanted to reply as someone who has been in a somewhat similar spot.. my fiance and are both 23 and virgins and have only ever been in a relationship with each other. We have been together 5.5 years, but I also have to add that we were primarily long distance until this past June.. nonetheless, waiting has been very difficult for both of us, especially through the first 1.5-4 years as we were completely past the "getting comfortable" stages of the relationship, but still very far away from marriage and an end point to waiting was not yet clearly in sight. Its easier now that we strongly know where the boundary is for us, and the end of waiting is literally set to a date. Your boundary is probably different- that is for you both to decide, and I think it can change at times based on various aspects and stage of your relationship. My fiance and I's boundary definitely changed as our relationship became more serious. I think talking and communicating about it is key. Even after the fact.. telling her you feel bad about ____ lets her know that you are thinking about things and wanting her feedback. You both need to keep each other in check, its not only yours or only her responsibility. Did she tell you she was uncomfortable in the moment or was it more after the fact for both of you? It can be SO hard, though, in the moment especially. I often had a hard time saying "no" even when I thought he was going to far.. although sometimes I didn't really want to say no. Also, don't completely discredit those feelings. Imagine a relationship without a single bit of lust and desire.. waiting would sure be easy, but I do believe there needs to be at least a little of that- it lets you both know that you do want the other person in more-than-just-a-friend way, and it doesn't have to be in a lustful.. but there has to be at least some spark, ya know? You also need to consider whether these feelings (and then actions) are possibly because of the the newness of the relationship or based on love, commitment etc and with those feelings, physical desire is sure to find it's way in somehow.. It's rough. There have been countless times where we have considered not waiting anymore, but we continue to press on. I sometimes imagine how I might feel after the moment that we decide not to wait, and I just can't even think about not waiting anymore. I know it will be worth it in the end. Enjoy being in a relationship, so many people here would be envious of your situation (although waiting becomes exponentially harder when you are in a relationship that has potential to be "the one"). Try to spend that time getting to really know each other in ways other than physically. Even better is to not let yourself get into situations where you will be alone together often, but also experience learning how to control those feelings as well. It's tricky.. that's for sure! Hope this helps somewhat!
  8. I've been with my fiancé for 5.5 years and we are getting married in June 2015 so we will have been together almost 6.5 years when we (finally!) get married. We officially got engaged in May. We knew we wanted to get married within a year of being together, but I was a senior in high school and him a freshman in college and we were long distance all through college (I just graduated) so it wouldn't have made sense to get married any earlier. Ideally, I think 2ish years of dating and 6-8 months for engagement would good, but that not how it has worked out for us, probably since we met when we were so young.
  9. What is your dream job?

    I want to be a music therapist and work at a children's hospital I am 3.5 weeks into my 6 month music therapy internship at a children's hospital and I love it! I get to sing to babies and play music with kids all day I get to help make the hospital stay a little bit better. It's hard seeing some very sick kids or those with horrible trauma stories, but it's incredibly rewarding. It just would be nice to get paid for this eventually!
  10. Honeymoon Anyone!?

    My fiance and I are brainstorming for ours right now! Way to many choices.. I really want to get him on a cruise because they are so much fun! But a lot of 2-3 day cruises are in the Bahamas and I've been there several times before... I want to go somewhere I haven't been. He has never been west of North Dakota (where most of family is from) and I need to change that haha.. so right now we are thinking about road tripping to California and/or Seattle I've been to a few places in southern CA but never to Seattle/upper western US. I would REALLY love to go to Australia or places that I haven't been yet in Europe (Rome!!) but I don't think those are going to be within the budget Even if we went end up going somewhere I've been before, places are always more fun if you are with someone who hasn't been before
  11. I'm engaged!!

    I can't even imagine being in two different countries. Being a couple states away was hard enough. I totally get the frustration though! It's so difficult to feel like you can't do a single thing to change the situation. Four years ago, it was almost unbearable to think it would be four more years before we would be able to be together.. But it truly has gone quick. Just take it one day at a time, one visit to the next. It will all be worth it in the end! Skype often, write letters, send packages etc it all helps One of my first college friends (after telling her I was in a long distance relationship) was like "Wow... well, if you guys get through it you will have the best relationship ever!" We pretty much do. I wouldn't trade it for anything. Don't give up!
  12. I'm engaged!!

    Thank you everyone!! Next year Just a bit over a year away! Neither of us wanted a winter wedding and we think it would be too rushed to try to get things planned for this fall. Also, his parents wanted us to wait until I have a full time job and my internship goes through december and is unpaid so need to wait until I finish that. And the now fiance really wanted to be engaged for at least 10-12 months so respecting that so lots of reasons to wait for another year. Just having an actual date/plan is SO exciting! Hopefully we can get it on the calender soon.
  13. As of almost a week ago We are also about to close the distance in our nearly 5.5 year relationship that has been primarily long distance!! So much excitement right now! We started out being 2.5 hours drive apart the first year, then 3.5 hour drive the next 3 years until he graduated college and this last year of my college we were an 8 hour drive (or a short plane ride) apart. We have literally been talking about wanting to get married since we had been together for one year (when I was a senior in HS), so getting engaged was no surprise I even picked out the ring myself (followed by a 14-week wait for them to completely remake it in my size.. my hands are tiny, had to be a size 4 ) but it was so worth EVERYTHING! It actually feels very strange to be able to talk about a wedding with family/friends, but its just normal between us since we talked about it all the time before as well We are hoping for June 6th of 2015! Just something small. A big wedding is not us, nor will we have the funds for that... I want just a ceremony at the church I grew up in (or maybe his) and then a dessert/cake reception for everybody afterwards. Later that evening a dinner at a semi-formal restaurant for family and close friends only That is much more "us" IMO No crazy dancing, drinking, garter tosses... I don't like that much attention on myself... Just wanted to share!
  14. In my experience, yes I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years- since I was a junior and he was a senior in high school, and now he is graduated and I am a senior in college graduating this spring. We have survived and are going as strong as ever, and we have been pretty much long distance the whole time as well. Currently, we live 3 states apart (the amount of distance has been gradual.. he was 2.5 hours away when I was still in HS, then 3.5 hours apart after I moved to go to school at an out-of-state university, and then he moved another state away last year so we are 7.5 hours drive apart) but I am officially moving to where he is in June to FINALLY end the distance We are getting engaged soon and married hopefully in a year/year and a half There are people who regularly party and hook up, but there are also plenty of people who don't!
  15. I just wanted to say that I have been in a very similar situation and it has been working out really well for me and my bf. I don't think going away to college automatically means she will cheat. My boyfriend and I (although he is a grade older than me) have been dating since my junior year of high school (and I am about to be a senior in college, my bf just graduated) and we have both been faithful to each other despite being long distance (even longer now. We are currently 7 hours drive apart.. while both in school it was 3.5) I have never worried about him cheating, and I don't think he has worried about that with me either. I never felt like just because we were hours apart in college that we were more tempted to cheat. If she does choose to give her virginity to someone else, then she isn't the right girl for you anyway. Before my bf left for college we had only been dating a few months but neither of us wanted to just give up because he was leaving and we knew we had a very hard road ahead of us. Especially if your relationship is going well now, give it a chance You never know! If you two are meant to be, you will find a way to make it work out despite some distance apart. Right at the beginning of my freshman year of college someone told me that if me and my bf could make our relationship work, then we would probably have the best relationship ever. That is pretty much true Its been really hard sometimes, but completely worth it. Hopefully, we only have a little under a year left of being long distance after 4.5 years together, most of it with distance. It can work Good luck!