Queen

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  1. This is soooooooooo short-sighted. I was also short-sighted at one time. Let me share a story: My pastor told me this same thing (stay married, do not get divorced) when I came to him crying asking him if I had any way to get a divorce from my husband who had conned me into marrying him and was abusing me.. in front of our toddler at that! He said I had to stay married and he quoted the bible. I know the pastor meant well, he didn't understand the extent of the abuse, but this was due to his own short-sightedness as well. The facts were there. So I went home again, hid in my daughter's closet as usual (seeking safety) and I read my bible, prayed, and read it some more. After my searching of the entire bible for myself, turns out the bible never said to stay married in this situation - it doesn't even mention it! Open your eyes. Marriage and divorce is not so simplistic - not even to God. Only to the naive and narrow-minded. If you have a marriage that does not involve affairs or abuse, wonderful. But be careful of your words. Abuse happens. Even in the church. I stayed married much too long all because I didn't want to sin against my Creator. But it was GOD who set me free. --- My brother married a single mom who had a 6 year old son. He became that boy's father - not by legalities but by presence and filling the role and he did so happily. That was one of the most beautiful examples of grace I've seen. Sure, it is easy to marry a virgin but really check your motives. What extraordinary love it is to marry a single parent and become a father to the fatherless (or mother to the motherless). THAT'S an unselfish kind of love. A true gift. To anyone reading this who has not found this kind of love and are a single parent. You're not alone. Sometimes we just learn to be strong instead.
  2. First of all, if your ex-girlfriend's "consensual sex" was with a relative - that suggests sexual abuse which always involves manipulation. She was not even adult age, and I feel she needs some grace in that (and therapy!) The big concern I hear is that she is manipulative herself - a reason to run from that relationship. You are certainly not the only one who has lost their virginity in a relationship before they intended to. You are human. Celibacy may be a better goal than virgin purity (more of an idealism anyway). People tend to think they are better than others because they retain their virginity and require it of others. Two virgins marrying is special and all and a great goal, but it is a mistake to think one is "better" "superior" "more pure". Good luck. ^^ Love that
  3. How to deal with promiscuity resentment?

    Your views, TarantulaNebula, are very normal around the WTM community. There are lots of guys who value waiting as much as you and are just waiting to meet you! These men do exist. But, the others (men who do NOT value waiting or value sex more than they value a human being) are also quite common, even more so unfortunately. It's reality. My advice would be to break up with your boyfriend simply because you should never be with someone who causes your self-esteem to lower. It's hard to be different in society. But everyone else could be very wrong! Hang on to your principles! Your boyfriend is using you. I know. Because many men have tried the same with me. It's a sad world, honestly. You have to look for the beauty, search for the beauty in the world, and maintain a standard of beauty in the good things of the world. Or you'll be taken advantage of very easily by numerous men with the same motive. I hate to sound so jaded, but I've been there one too many times. The world is this way. Being a beautiful woman with standards is a much different experience than many people realize. Many people think sexism doesn't even exist! That beautiful people have it made! But we're preyed on! We're hurt! We're taken advantage of! We're tricked with flowers and "I love you"s. It's not genuine. It's all about sex and selfish motive. "Be the change you wish to see in the world." -Ghandi Stand up for your beliefs. We need people like you in the world. P.S. I do not believe promiscuity should be despised. We shouldn't put people down in order to bring ourselves up. Standards are a beautiful thing. Promiscuity is often rooted in selfishness or low self-worth. We should pity it, but we should not shame it. Promiscuous people are not always bad people. They could just be lost.
  4. How should Christians handle pathological liars?

    I, unfortunately, also have experience with being jaded by a pathological liar. But I have learned some skills to handle them along the way. #1 you can't help them. Their problem started so young that it is way bigger and deeper than you are. These types of people you have to love from afar. You can't have a healthy relationship with them. The dysfunction is too deep. You can be friends, acquaintances, etc. But they are like porcupines. They will poke you whether they meant to or not; it's inevitable. #2 To know if they are lying or not: don't ever underestimate the extent a liar will go. They lie about things they don't even necessarily benefit from! It could be so minor and irrelevant! They lie comes quicker to them than the truth. But also, always look for the evidence. Before I knew that a person would lie to me like a pathological liar can, I was easily buffaloed (because the are great manipulators). If you say, "But earlier you said this and now you're saying this", they will deny the earlier statement or imply you misheard. They'll make you mistrust your own self! So, look for the evidence, if they said something happened. (Are their dates accurate? Were other people there that they said were there? Are their stories especially entertaining?) That's what police have to do. They catch a criminal but the criminal often says "I didn't do it!" You listen, you look to see if actions match words, but you can't always trust someone's word alone. Now this is why I find integrity and honesty extremely valuable traits in a person. #4 BOUNDARIES. You must set boundaries with this person (and all people), but especially this person. Be strong in who you are and where you stand. They love those who will pity them. They gravitate towards the easily swayed. #5 Donald Trump
  5. Female Body Hair

    What do you think? Men, could you accept your woman in her natural state? Women, could you go without removing body hair? Why do you remove it?
  6. http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationships/why-dont-guys-my-church-ask-women-dates I thought this was a great read.
  7. Born Again Virgin

    Waiting is worth it no matter where you are in your journey. Welcome.
  8. A nonvirgin waiter will understand the reasons a person decides to wait for he IS a waiter. Most nonvirgins are not waiters. If a nonvirgin decides to wait, they have made a profound choice. It just may have taken them awhile to come to this virtuous truth in the notion of waiting. But they do understand its value or they wouldn't be waiting.
  9. This thread is not about what you think about nonvirgins.
  10. -- skin hunger -- loneliness
  11. You meet someone online and they seem like a great match for you. But they live miles and miles away. If you're in the U.S., then they live several states away. Are long-distance relationships worth it? Can they work? If so, how?
  12. Are you shy?

    Men: Are you shy? If so, what would your ideal girlfriend be like?