Yin-Yang

Just in case people might not want to make an account here or want to chat. I want to boost the community here and have a place where people can talk and receive support and ask questions etc. Link never expires. https://discord.gg/WXP296S

What about adoption? You can take as long as you want before you adopt. I'm a big advocate of adoption. There aren't enough decent family units out there to take in children in need. Seriously, think about it!

I was cheated on by my only friend. I feel disgusted by everyone and isolated from the world. I've been trying to hold on for weeks, but even though I'm strongly christian, I just see nothing here of any value or virtue. Any strangers like me who'd like to talk for a while?

THERE WAS A DISCORD BUT That discord is kind of dead. I'm trying to start a new one! Come join. I would be excited to get some visitors. Maybe we can all try to boost it and get it to become a much more popular thriving group! https://discord.gg/WXP296S

I want more people to come party in the wtm discord group. It's so dead! https://discordapp.com/channels/313414201546768384/313414201546768384

Also I should clarify, I am definitely not attributing my suicidal ideation to his past. It's not like he did anything to me. It's more like, the conflict of staying and being unhappy vs leaving and being unhappy that I don't want to deal with, becomes overwhelming, causes me to think of other issues causing me to be depressed and suicidal, THAT is what starts the spiral. It's not his pasts fault, but I just recognize that it starts this whirlwind and I don't know how to remove myself from it. Hopefully that makes more sense. I can see how I left my original post unclear

I do enjoy being alone. I really do. I dislike people a lot. That's why I have as few contacts as possible. I only like to socialize as much as necessary to not go insane. Its just that that sometimes leads to the problem of me not letting someone go because that means I have to go socialize with new people again which is always a nightmare. Or that I won't have the energy to and I will just isolate myself and rot in my head until I go mad and do something stupid.

God, I really love that short. Thank you for sharing that. I think that might help.

I have already been assessed. I take medication and go to therapy. It's been like this for some time now. I am in a place where I am the best I can be. Trust me, I give the same advice to other people. I am not shy about help. I want to do what I can to not be suicidal. Unfortunately despite all of this, despite the fact that I am mentally stable and calm, and that I even go to school, have a job, and have a friend, and that I am by all accounts normal and healthy, I still think about death every day. I just feel lost here. Thanks very much anyway

Rats. It's pretty dead, eh? Any way we can boost it?

Should I make a discord for us since the chat is down? I'll make it and post the link if anyone agrees. Thought it could be interesting.

I totally agree. I'm a teetotaler and I am against smoking. Completely impossible seeming to find someone who never does either.

I've been talking with a boy for some time now. We aren't in a defined relationship, but we may as well be. I'm a virgin waiter. He's a non virgin waiter. And it hurts. Sometimes this pain gets out of hand. I have panick attacks, I feel alone, I become emotionally distant from him. Obviously I can't always discuss my depression about this with him. I have already, but it's something that at some point you have to stop talking about or it just becomes hurtful to him. He doesn't say so, but I know. So I pretend like nothings wrong, but there seriously is. I don't know what to do. I don't have the strength to leave. I'm the sort of person who only has enough social contacts as necessary to not go insane. One. I'm a recluse with no friends but him. Part of me also very much does like him, genuinely, even if the other part feels disdain, and beyond emotional connection. But sometimes I doubt if I could take this relationship any further with him, because of my secret depression about this, depression that has many times caused me to think of suicide. I feel like I am probably just wasting his time, either because eventually I will have to end the relationship, or we would get married and someday my secret depression would get the better of me and I would kill myself, leaving him alone and confused. I don't think anyone will be able to help me. I hate people anyway.

I feel the same. Through my life I've gotten a lot of attention from boys but I never felt like I truely loved any of them. I think my complicated brain makes it impossible. Not that I'm saying I'm smart or anything-I just mean emotionally complicated.

Couldn't tell you. I'm in the same boat.