Skald

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Everything posted by Skald

  1. Matchmaking by family

    I would actually be very open to it if my family weren't so terrible at matchmaking for me. I mean, people in my family have tried to set me up, and results have been disastrous. My aunt tried to set me up with a woman older than me who was just leaving her multi-year mourning period over her fiance who died in a car accident. My mother tried to set me up with a single mother, claiming it was the only hope I have of having children. That being said, I've welcomed attempts by people who actually know what I look for in a woman, but they've fallen short. As a practitioner of certain things forbidden in the book of Deuteronomy, I've used other matchmaking methods with extreme success, but I suppose it's a different dynamic altogether when the person matchmaking you isn't human, right? But to answer your question, I'm theoretically open to it, but I've yet to see anyone do a good job for me.
  2. In mine as well, but he said girlfriend, not wife. I don't know about others here, but those are very different processes for me. In order to motivate me, my boss, who is my age and started in my position, told me about how he makes so much money that he can buy whatever car he wants and can have sex with many women very easily due to his money and success. I found him to be exceedingly boring. That's how most people think, yes, but we're not exactly “most people” in this community. In my case, my goals center around research projects into which I've dedicated years of my life, and they will ultimately culminate in me having a family. It may not be what you might consider worthwhile or something that will change the course of humanity, but it's not exactly “cars and women,” like a lot of other men my age. You may not be familiar with the results of my work within specific communities, nor may the world population at large, but I know I'll leave a mark on this earth. More importantly, it will be something that resounds through future generations of my family. But we can still disagree civilly, of course. You may consider my goals silly, and many do, but it's something important to me that I'm not willing to compromise for others. That unwillingness to compromise on what is important to you is what truly makes you seem magnetic, not obsession with metrics, certainly not autotelically so. Just my two cents and clarification of what I meant.
  3. When the chatroom went down, I created a discord server to replace it. It was suggested to me to post it, so here is a link: https://discord.gg/y9h4mmy As you can see, I've set it up perfunctorily, but it still needs a lot of work. I don't have time to manage it myself so, when there are enough people in, I'll elect someone to help me manage it.. I'm also quite open to suggestions, I just mirrored the forum more or less. Also, if this is a nono of some sort, let me know, and I'll take it down.
  4. @DHZ You should acquire 3 things: 1. Confidence 2. Personal goals 3. An attitude of indifference I don't have a church (I'm not even Christian), I've alienated my friends, and my family is overall unsupportive of my life choices. Still, I have offers, and plenty of them. It must be magic, right? Not really. See, I talk to strangers on a daily basis, and I have no problem starting a conversation with one. When I talk to girls, I really don't care whether or not they like me. Why? I don't have impressing her or dating her as a goal. Hell, most of the time I don't even like her, which accounts for the reason I reject more girls than I pursue. Why? I don't care, because I have bigger goals than getting a date. What are your goals? Do you have something about which you're so passionate that it keeps you up at night and sets your heart on fire when you think about it? When you have that, people can feel it. You exude an energy of determination and single-minded intense pursuit of what YOU want out of life, what YOU love, what YOU care about. Ever seen a man who is very obviously “on a mission”? He barrels past everyone and everything and ignores every distraction he finds. People don't shy away from him, they want to see where he's going! Where is he going that is more important than all the temptations and pleasures and fun times he doesn't even notice out of the corner of his eye because he's so obsessed with his goal?! Sure, you could just play the numbers. If you talk to 20 or 30 girls this week and, after a conversation that builds rapport, you ask her for her number, at least one of them will say yes. Statistically, it should play out that way. If you get a yes before 19 nos, congratulations, you're good at talking to girls, 1/20 is more or less average. Still, wouldn't it be better if they were drawn to your fire? Your passion for your goals is that fire and, the more passionately you burn for it, the more brightly you burn for all to see. Do this right, and your commitment to WTM will be a self-discipline measure instead of a mentality you fall into. Also, @K.T. gave great advice about going to the gym. Seriously, it helps. Oh, and I created a server on Discord when the chat went down here and emailed Mike about permission to drop the link in the forum, but he never replied. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
  5. Try interest groups based on your actual interests and hobbies. I've never really tried online dating, but I have had luck with online groups centered around my interests. The aforementioned meetup.com suggestion is great too.
  6. I had the same mentality about this, myself. For us polytheists, it seems to be quite easy to accommodate, though. During the conversion period in Northern Europe, it was common simply to add a Christian statue to the altar along with the other gods, so that it was one more god to be held in the home. I see absolutely no problem with this kind of accommodation in my home, as long as there is no expectation that I must give any less attention to my gods or any attention to hers.
  7. I'm somewhat open to it, to an extent. The girl I'm hoping to marry someday is nominally Christian, but she has extensive occult experience, as much to rival mine. The girl I was after before her is an Umbandist with some occult experience and looking to expand it. I've been engaged before, and the girl in question is a pantheist. We made it work just fine, and that difference never got in the way. I'm pretty okay with nominal difference in religion, as long as other important things are present.
  8. Does it matter?

    You should probably read this article: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/mother-tongue/8739533/Women-and-divorce-Goodbye-darling-youre-just-too-dull....html The survey in question by the Grant Thornton firm (I made sure to find one that was UK-based especially for you) is found here: http://www.grantthornton.co.uk/en/insights/uk-statistics-of-divorce-2011-survey-infographic/ I've included the infograph the firm has prepared as well. Please draw your attention to:
  9. Apologies for further OT, but... Incorrect. A Wiccan is someone who practices the religion of Wicca, a modern (typically, but not always) duotheistic religion that draws inspiration from various Western esoteric traditions and sort of Anglicizes them. The word comes from an Old English term for a sorceror or mage, and early Wiccans referred to themselves as witches or wicces. Given the influence of esoteric traditions, magical practice was present from the beginning. "Witchcraft" is a broad term in the occult. In traditional usage, it refers to someone who practices (often European) folk magic, but modern witches most often incorporate some form of ceremonial magic as well. In any case, neither axiomatically has anything to do with devil worship, and the Christian concept of the devil is somewhat alien to most native European traditions.
  10. There have been a number of studies on the relationship between premarital sex and divorce rates. The most famous study is the Teachman study. Here is a quote from it: "It is clear that an intimate premarital relationship limited to a woman's husband does not affect the risk of marital disruption. However, having at least one other intimate relationship prior to marriage is linked to an increased risk of divorce (from 53% to 166%). There is a substantially higher risk of marital dissolution if the woman both had sex with another man and cohabited with him (166% vs. 53%-119% for other patterns of premarital relationships involving someone other than one's husband, a difference that is statistically significant)." (Teachman, Jay. "Premarital Sex, Premarital Cohabitation, and the Risk of Subsequent Marital Dissolution among Women." Journal of Marriage and Family 65, no. 2 (2003): 444-455.) This study has actually been referenced here on this website: http://waitingtillmarriage.org/study-definite-link-between-premarital-sex-cohabitation-and-divorce/ The general consensus among these is that marital stability is tied to partner count in women, not the decision of whether or not to wait until marriage. The differences between women who had one sexual partner their entire lives and had sex before marriage as opposed to those with one sexual partner and waited until marriage are negligible. Here is a quote from another study published by the same journal: "Having previous sexual partners greatly increased the likelihood that a woman would have a secondary sex partner. In particular, a woman with 4 or more male sex partners prior to her primary relationship was about 8.5 times more likely to have a secondary sex partner than a woman with no previous sex partners." (Forste, Renata and Koray Tanfer. "Sexual Exclusivity among Dating, Cohabiting, and Married Women." Journal of Marriage and the Family 58, no. 1 (1996): 33-47.) Why are women mentioned specifically? Well, the negative correlation between number of sexual partners and marital stability is only present in women. A study from 2004 published by the University of Virginia found that amount of sexual partners of women affects the quality of the marriage, but it doesn't for men: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2733220/Women-don-t-sleep-wedding-happier-marriages-men-play-field-without-worry-study-finds.html This is an extremely common misconception. The Teachman study was controlled for a variety of variables, religiosity being one of them. "I control for a wide range of potentially confounding variables that have been identified in the literature… race, religion, education, parental education, parental marital history, premarital births and conception, and spouse homogeneity with respect to race, religion, and age." Furthermore, the Teachman study referenced showed that women who marry religous or very religious men have a higher divorce rate. See the analysis of Model 1 by Barbara Foster in "Learning From Jay Teachman's Premarital Sex, Cohabitation and Divorce: The Broken Link." In closing, the research suggests that it is the amount of sexual partners a woman has that affects the stability of the marriage, not religion, not the man's sexual partners, not whether or not marriage is treated as the green light.
  11. We had a thread on this that was resurrected somewhat recently: http://forums.waitingtillmarriage.org/topic/5405-long-distance-online-dating/ My personal opinion on the matter hasn't changed since I posted there. I've done long distance before, and I can attest that it's a lot more difficult, but the chances of me finding a girl I like here in California are astronomically small, so I'm more open than most (I would say sort of counting on it) to LDR, given, of course, appropriate levels of commitment and desires to make it work, as well as solid plans for the future.
  12. Apologies in advance for perpetuating the off-topic material, but I have to reply to this: Incorrect. I would go into detail on the mechanisms of occult works, but this is already severely off-topic as it is, and I doubt anyone here would be interested anyway. Suffice it to say that this statement is so utterly false and absurd that it is laughable, and it is exceedingly clear that Mr Berdahl has never actually consulted with a single legitimate occult expert before making this statement. Incorrect. Not even touching on the spurious terminology, the use of syncopated music in possession rituals is largely confined to African traditions or those derived from them, such as New World syncretic traditions. Western traditions in particular typically use non-syncopated rhythms to promote trance for the purpose of invocation, assuming any music or rhythm is used at all, which is not required or even really standardized by any means. Highly ritualized invocations in Western occult traditions that use music typically involve chanting with the emphasis on the first beat, precisely the way Mr Berdahl says Christian music should be. I started watching the longer video posted, but I realized he referenced the Masaro Emoto experiments and remembered that some of the classical music Emoto used to produce what he considered visually-pleasing patterns was syncopated. After that, I stopped the video. Sincerely, An occult expert (14 years of occult experience), historian (graduate degree from a Top 10 university), and musical composer Oh right, and I realize that criticisms might have more weight coming from Christians than me, so I've included a link to a response from an Adventist theomusicologist: https://theomusicology.wordpress.com/2013/01/05/a-response-to-christian-berdahl-1-syncopation-part-one/ (there are several parts, linked at the bottom of the article) This link is significantly more invective (considers Mr Berdahl's movement as a cult), but it is written to what I consider an academic standard: http://sevytalibancults.blogspot.com/p/christian-berdahl-and-shepherds-call.html Cheers
  13. Leverage the art. If you have any creative hobbies, leverage that as hard as you can. If there's anything you're very very good at, humbly flaunt your skill, only within the context of the group. I have a certain hobby at which I'm extremely good that I wouldn't even mention around most people but, within the context of that hobby, I have girls come to and keep try, despite me shooing them away. It's a contextual dominance thing, being attractive by virtue of the fact that you're the best at something. I don't have to tell you that programming is a tough sell as far as interests go (though having a good job will win you an unbelievable amount of points, and you come off more pleasant if you like your career), as are most of your interests, really. I've actually met a good amount of girls into anime (I'm not into it, so I can't help you there), but that's not something you can leverage too much. You can leverage art a little bit more. Your other interests...well, just don't lead with them unless you're confident enough to own it completely, make fun of yourself a little without being self-deprecating, and still remain completely confident. It's a tough strategy if you don't have overwhelming confidence, so I might not recommend it. Work on this. Confidence can make up for flaws you might otherwise assume are insurmountable. I'll let a Christian comment further on this point, but I have it understood that there are youth and singles groups. Attend every church mixer you can, going in with the purpose of meeting more people, not necessarily trying to get a date. The dates will come, but don't be thirsty.
  14. Becoming an Atheist

    I abandoned Christianity at around 10 years of age. I may have had the same thought process as you: “this doesn't make sense.” I always had the habit of examining things very critically, and faith was never one of my strong suits, not even to this day. I eventually settled on polytheism, but my gods don't have any laws on sexual mores. There are pragmatic suggestions (things like not to sleep with a married woman, for example), of course, but no laws. It was really up to me to decide what kind of morals I wanted to use as a guiding principle for my life. Chastity was not at the top of my list, admittedly, and took me some time to settle into mentally, but I found my own reasons eventually. I'm not sure how helpful this is, but sometimes just knowing there's someone else who has gone through it helps.
  15. The Importance of Attraction

    It's very hard to prove something that isn't true. The picture in your profile is of Jonas Sulzbach, a Brazilian model.
  16. The Importance of Attraction

    I've never paid too much importance to how attractive a girl is. I know this isn't really believed of me most of the time, but it's true. It could simply be that I have more of an inclination to voices than what most men see as attractive in women, but a plain girl with a nice voice wins over a model with an ugly voice any day. Still, I read voices for personality and other traits, not just judging them on aesthetic quality. I still consider personality to be much more important. I have dated a couple of girls who were considered very attractive, to the point where I would catch guys craning their necks to stare at them, and my reaction was always more surprise than anything else, because I was always judging her based on how I felt around her, not how I saw her physically. I understand my opinion is in the minority, so don't take it as pervasive in any way.
  17. How to explain waiting for marriage

    Try vetting the person before you bring it up. If possible, try vetting the person before you even start going out. Get a feel for their values before mentioning yours so you don't have a situation where they're just agreeing. I'm not entirely sure what kind of questions you can ask, but something relating to their faith, their value system, and their future plans might do the trick. This is the best advice I can offer, unless you can read people very well like I can and can skip right through this.
  18. There is a lot to be said against long-distance relationships, mostly because they are difficult emotionally. Most people would consider the physical aspect being missing quite relevant, but in our group it's a little less relevant. Still, there is a certain emotional disconnection that is inherent to physical distance. That being said, I am actually perfectly open to a relationship being long-distance for a time. I have full faith that they can work if, and only if, both parties are mature and truly devoted to each other, and they have solid plans to live together in the future. I won't get into it, but I might be the pickiest person on this forum, and I wouldn't let any degree of distance stop me from trying to make it work with a girl I truly like and is willing to try to make it work with me.
  19. How many languages do you speak?

    Fluent: English and Spanish Conversational: Portuguese and Norwegian Can read/write: German Can read only: Italian, French, Swedish, Danish, Old Norse I've forgotten almost all of the Latin I learned, and I'm really rusty at pretty much everything except English and Spanish due to lack of use.
  20. Yes, well it can be said that we are in the Kali Yuga, the Age of Vice and Discord. In the Norse Eddas, it is called the Wolf Age. The Völuspá notes, as one of the signs of the Wolf Age, “great whoredom,” which can be understood as a higher prevalence of promiscuity. I'd be inclined to say it's a global phenomenon, but there is certainly something to be said about decadence. When we no longer have to struggle to survive, we tend to get bored and start destroying ourselves.
  21. I'm glad someone resurrected this topic, or I wouldn't have seen it. In an online community I won't mention, there were a couple of people who would post anonymous letters to their future spouses. One of them was a friend of mine whom I encouraged to do so. Said friend is a devotee of the Norse pantheon, and we positioned the practice as a devotional act and offering of art for the sake of attracting her future husband. I had given her the idea because I had written similar letters myself, albeit to someone in particular (long story). I'm something of a hopeless romantic, so they came naturally to me. I think it's a wonderful practice when combined with an intentional mechanism to make it effective. I have it understood that the majority of the userbase here is of an Abrahamic religion, so I can see this fitting well within prayer, but there are other mechanisms for those of us who aren't. Still, great idea, and it might be a nice thing if people here want to write and post their letters in one spot. It would be an interesting community activity.
  22. Valentine's Day dread.

    Two years ago, I found myself particularly sad and lonely on Valentine's Day. I had recently started getting the hang of divination (aka, fortune telling), so I decided to do some readings for people. Let me be the first to say that people were sad. They were very very sad. I could feel their immense sadness and crushing loneliness from where I was sitting. However, I could also feel a glimmer of hope and could almost hear a voice in their heads say “it's going to be okay” after I was done. I'm not going to lie and say that everything was magically okay because I decided to do something nice for others; I still went to bed just as sad and lonely as I had gotten out of it. Still, there was a sense of accomplishment and positivity in doing something good for others, and I eventually made some friends from what I did on that day. Whatever your version of service to others is, give it a shot. Maybe you like volunteering or some kind of charity work. Maybe you enjoy random acts of kindness. Whatever the case is, give it a shot. Even if it doesn't do anything for you, you'll have a better chance of getting something good out of service than out of watching sad movies while eating iced cream by yourself at home.
  23. I have some experience with divination (commonly called fortune telling), so I have some perspective on what people usually ask. It typically breaks down by age and sex of the querent. Among people in their teens and 20s, the most common queries are love-related, especially next boyfriend or girlfriend. As the querents get older, they usually worry more about money or about a long-term partner. Assuming the querent is already in a relationship, it's very common to get checkups on how the relationship is going, if feelings are still mutual, what the future of the relationship is like, etc. Males are more inclined to ask for any partner, and females are more inclined to ask about a specific person. Now, love queries aside, the most common ones are money/career/school, more commonly asked by males than females. Surprisingly, people ask spiritual questions much less often, and I haven't seen any trends in terms of age or sex with this. I'm not sure how often people would ask about physical health, because I don't read physical health queries. Mental health I do read, though, and I find that those kind of queries are rather common when the reading is done anonymously, but nobody really asks when it's not anonymous. I've seen this asked once in a while, but not that commonly. Personally, I don't like reading death queries, so I don't field these often. The closest I've done was someone asking what his last years on earth will be like. After I read it for him, he confessed that his primary concern was whether or not there was anyone with him. In conclusion, most people want to know about interpersonal relationships, followed by money.
  24. I'm not sure if you're looking for specifically Christian input, but my perspective is different. In Norse and in occult traditions, there isn't the same spiritual leader concept as in Christianity. In terms of inculcating spiritual tradition in children, there is a certain expectation that it is a team effort and partnership, both mother and father being responsible. There are exceptions, of course, due to pragmatic considerations. If, for example, the mother is spiritual, but the father is not, the mother most often teaches the children on her own time, and it's more or less agreed (even if silently) that the father will stay more or less out of the way. The pragmatic concern that's been mentioned here of one being stronger in faith than the other is mirrored somewhat in what I'm describing, as it would come down to whoever has the most knowledge to pass on. Still, the ideal, at least in my consideration, would be a team effort. One of my criteria in choosing a wife is actually someone with whom I can share the role, so that it is a partnership and not merely a task for my own time without support. But that's my own little version of marriage of equals.
  25. I sincerely suggest you watch Amadeus, if you haven't already. It will give you some perspective.