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Everything posted by SG1

  1. Random Thoughts

    lol there really is a lot of randomness here and it's quite funny
  2. Love this question! Velociraptor just because i like them
  3. I love this thread! As a kid, I did not read the comics. I just watched the cartoons…That being said, my favorite hero was Spider-man and my favorite villain of all time was “Venom” by the way, both are from the 1994 Spider-man-animated series! Now I love Deadpool!
  4. @Amarillo Hey Amarillo, Thanks for taking the time to reply. I’ll be the first to admit, I am not the greatest communicator when it comes to typing haha so maybe I misread or mis-communicated something. However, from what I can see from your responses, they’re not accurate or consistent with anything I previously mentioned. Since you’re referring to this thread, where did DHZ (or for that matter, any other guy ) say that heavy set, divorced or widowed women would be easier or lesser quality? From what I see, you’re the only one who said this. You said I denied the commonly accepted manner of settling. Can you explain how? In my last response, in the last paragraph, I literally agreed with you on the common manner of settling. If you’re referring to the example I gave, you will see I acknowledge a different view, which somebody else shared with me. Seeing something from another person’s perspective is not denial. It’s being empathetic of someone else’s situation. Which is something Jesus did with Tax Collectors and sinful people. He demonstrated this in Luke chapter 7, starting at vs 36. Jesus let the sinful woman greet Him, kiss Him and wash and dry His feet. In order for Christ to do this, he had to be empathetic and compassionate. In that passage, it sure seems like you have a similar attitude as the Pharisees and that my friend would be foolish.
  5. What offends you?

    Hey that is a great question! Are you with your guy friends, a person of interest or with your BF?
  6. My Intro

    Welcome, hope you have fun and meet some great people.
  7. Wow what a great question… lol the comments are great. And yeah a lot of guys find feet attractive not sure why but it’s quite common.. Anyway, here are the weird things I find attractive or you could say...attractive things I would ideally want in a wife. Cellulite- I love seeing that on a woman!!! For some reason, I equate it to femininity and naturalness. It’s Very very attractive. Pubic hair- Now when I say pubes, I’m talking a full on Chewbacca down there. The more, the better. If I ever get married, in my mind this is one of several factors ( butt, hips or boobs) that separates girls from woman and it means to me full sexual maturity. I know it's really weird in todays day and age...but when the time comes and I get to play down there, I definitely don’t want anything looking prepubescent. Hands- I always notice a women’s hands! I find this very attractive. Ideally, I like smallish hands and fingers and I love natural, semi long nails! I think this makes a bit of sense…For example, if we are holding hands, I don’t want them to resemble the mechanic that just fixed my car. The first pic has nice hands and the second, I think has nice nails.
  8. Hey Amarillo, I actually spent a few years in Houston. It was fun and I met some amazing people…Anyway, when you said: Did you mean on WTM? I actually have not seen any similar comments so I was just wondering. This probably does not matter but I prefer heavier set women and that is not at all what I got from his mother telling him to settle for a heavy set, divorced or widowed woman. Here is what I got from it. Maybe there are single women in his community that are amazing, loving, happy and available, who might be in one of these categories. If his mom sees her son is lonely and wants companionship, of course she is going to try and help him. Maybe she thinks if he opens up his preferences to more than one type of women, he will end up happy…instead of looking for a needle in a haystack. If you're referring to this thread, neither DHZ or his mother suggested heavy set, divorced or widowed women are easier or will be a lesser quality. Nor did they say a woman outside of his preference would be easier or be a lesser quality...So I am not sure why you're saying this, when DHZ simply stated he has one preference, when looking for a partner, nothing more. Or am I totally misreading your comment. Perhaps are you referring to other men, in different threads that suggested this? Lastly, I definitely agree with you on this: Especially, if it’s just one person in the relationship who’s setting and cannot change how they feel on the issue. Well said. I’m totally going to remember and use that in the future. However, if the person can change how they feel, they can slowly began to appreciate, love and cherish someone they once were not open to...I think that speaks well on their character…Maybe it’s like an arranged marriage?…they might not be head over heels for one another but over time they develop a spousal love.
  9. Hi there : p No, you’re not selfish for having your preference. You’re drastically limiting your options, but not selfish at all. To be selfish, you have to prioritize your preferences over someone else and not care about their wellbeing. True, God is all powerful, omnipresent, omnipotent…ect and He wants good things for us…However, this does not mean He is a genie, will grant us wishes if we pray/think/believe a certain way and make us impervious to sin. We live in a sinful universe. Sin = injustice. For example, sometimes parents have a terminally ill child and they pray boldly and further than they ever thought possible. But in the end, their child is a victim of sin (injustice). Under these tragic instances, those grief stricken parents rely on God to get them through those unimaginable times. This stuff doesn’t happen because we did not pray the correct way, it is the unjust nature of sin. This is why I feel it is important to pray for the right things and not a particular manner. Why do you feel this way? Identifying the root causes for these feelings, can totally help you make confident decisions later on or realize you don’t need to worry about something anymore. Anyway, if you’re confident God has a virgin husband waiting for you, I would definitely encourage you to pray for peace, patience and discernment. I don’t mean to pick apart what you’re saying : ) but if God has a hubby for you, how could you miss him? God created this unfathomably, complex universe we can barely understand..From black holes, quasars, pulsars, magnetars, neutron stars, quarks, fundamental bosons, leptons.ect…So if he wants you to marry a certain man, rest assured it’s going to happen!!!! So worrying about missing him is not something to be concerned about. This is where your faith has to be strong. If you’re not sure what God has planned for you…Maybe marriage…maybe not? Then you can pray for: · Openness to what/who he might have in-store for you. Make sure what you want, does not conflict with what God wants for you. · Acceptance, in case His plan is way different than what/who you originally wanted. · Peace & Strength, if the plan is scary and requires a lot of your faith. · If God has a different hubby for you, then pray for the ability to fully trust the man He has chosen for you, so you can be unequivocally invested in the relationship. (Side Note - If you still can’t see yourself fully committing & investing 100% of yourself, you need to share that with your prospective hubby. If I got married and she revealed later on that she can’t fully invest herself in our relationship, I would be really mad, bitter and resentful because I could have married another women who felt the same as me and invested/committed I would have) Also, regarding your statement about not being able to get your virginity back…My 0.02$...Your virginity does not contribute to your value or what you can bring to a marriage. You matter and your character matters. If two people have similar levels of love, passion, commitment and excitement for each other, that is WAY more important than ones virginity. Trust me! I think what makes marriage special, are the substantive matters that hold the relationship together. The lifelong commitment they made to each other, spiritual connections, support and growth, passion for each other, a deep and growing love for one another ect..Virginity should be viewed as a bonus, good if you have it, but not the end of the world if you don’t. Anyway, I really hope some of this helped? Feel free to message me anytime. Have a great day
  10. I am going to provide an unpopular view on this…. But first, if you have options in the dating world, this means there are girls you like, who definitely want you to peruse them. Be patient and take your time in this step. My two cents..put them first. Select the women you could be the best husband to and second make sure she will be a good wife. So if this applies to you, then my friend, you have what some people call a “Good Problem” : p Just be patient. If this does not apply to you, then let me tell you about one of my cousins. He settled and said it was the best thing he ever did and he wished he did it sooner! He is a very kind, caring, loving, Christ centered and devout Christian. However, he had very few options and they were not the options he wanted. Here are the main reasons why he could not get the options he wanted. 1) He is very short. Despite being an amazing guy, many women in many different communities would not date him because of his height. They were not attracted to him and lumped him in the friend zone.( I am obviously not saying all women would do this). It is a harsh reality but looks matter to many people, outside of WTM. Much like how you might not want to settle for : If looks did not matter, then more people that wanted marriage, with outwardly unattractive qualities, but possessed great inward qualities, would have gotten married b/w 18-25 and would not be alone. Unless they wanted/needed to be single. During those years of your life, many young people want everything and are not willing to settle for someone they are not outwardly attracted to. However, in places like WTM many people prioritize inward qualities, not so much outward. (side note-for me and I assume many others on this site, looks are preferences but not absolutes. I prefer chubby/curvy women but a slender girl would not be a deal breaker) 2) This was definitely the biggest issue...He is also very shy and does not have a sense of humor. So in a group setting where guys are competing and engaging the girls in exciting, funny and productive dialogue, he is not going to do very well…and never did. Also, if you can make a girl laugh, you’re definitely getting some major bonus points with her..Same goes for the girls! So after 10 years of being alone, sad, bitter, angry and unhappy, he accepted reality and adjusted his expectations. He started to date some lovely, sweet, caring, thoughtful, passionate and Christ centered women. Soon after, he got happily married ( I went to his wedding and he wished he realized this way earlier in life. Now this worked for him because he first acknowledged and later accepted (A) The reasons why he has not gotten the options he wanted (B) That he would be happier having someone than no one. He did say the most difficult part to overcome was realizing the type of women he wanted, will usually not want him. Not everyone can do this and if you cant, then don’t. Let me ask you a few questions…Why do you want a virgin? What is wrong with a women who has had sex before? What can you do/have with a virgin, that you can’t do/have with a non-virgin? You’re really limiting your options this way so I am just curious. ( DHZ I am not referring to you in this rambling bc you simply mentioned a virgin as your preference. Nothing more….. but to the guys that talk about virgins being pure and special. This sounds like a smoke screen to me. It sounds like they are most likely afraid. Afraid of how they will compare to the other men in the bedroom. A confident man isn’t going to be bothered by the fact his partner isn’t a virgin. He will have confidence in himself and in her.) What’s special and pure about two people getting married, are the substantive matters that hold a relationship together. The lifelong commitment they made to each other, spiritual connections, passion for each other, a deep and growing love for one another ect..Virginity should be viewed as a bonus, good if you have it, but not the end of the world if you don’t. So to answer your question “Are you really supposed to settle?” Let’s call this adjusting your expectations…settling has a negative ring to it. 1) If you have options in the dating world, never settle! That would be a huge mistake. Please be patient and carefully take your time…we are talking about a lifelong commitment. 2) Some people can accept settling/being settled for. If you really want marriage and you’re like my cousin, then yes, it will be better for you mentally and emotionally. 3) If you can’t adjust your expectations or accept settling, then you probably should not marry and work on accepting a lonely life. It would not be fair to your wife.
  11. First of all, I love the M5 badge. If you have one, then I am very jealous. I could not agree more! Here’s what I think… The idea of a traditional wedding terrifies me, marriage does not. I would rather spend a fraction of that money on a destination wedding. We pick an exotic and fun destination, find a pastor, photographer and seal the deal. Plus you get to skip all the drama that comes along with traditional ceremonies. And you actually get to enjoy your wedding lol
  12. I'm back from hiatus

    I hear you. My dad is an immigrant from North Africa and needless to say, I can understand what you mean about living in a society where just communicating with the opposite sex is very difficult. I visited my family over there enough to know the challenges. As fare as rejection goes, here’s how I look at it. There is someone for everyone. We all have our preferences on what we want in a partner…If a girl rejects me ( which happened more times than I can count, when I was in college haha ) that’s ok because it’s no different than me wanting to date a girl who does not have my preferences. So it’s not personal, just not compatible. It’s good news because you have eliminated a possible match and are now one step closer. If you don't try your best, you will eventually end up regretting it. However, if you give it your best and it turns out she is not the one for you, then you will have nothing to doubt or regret. You don’t want to get to a point in life and ask yourself “Whatever would have happened if I just told her how I felt?” You can’t go back in time to find out. That my friend is something you will regret. For sure. Keep trying!
  13. Hey good question/s : p Yes, you are correct. I am not necessarily a waiter anymore. I could go both ways. For example, as I mentioned in my profile, if I met someone who was a waiter, I could totally respect that and wait until marriage. After all, I waited until I was 28 to have my first kiss so that would be pretty hypocritical if I could not wait for someone else haha. Also, I still have a lot in common with many waiters and I really like that. I have had one sexual partner and lost my virginity at such a late age in life. In the past when I was dating, everything would go GREAT, until they would ask about my past. Once I would tell them, they naturally looked at me like I’m a freak show and never talk to me again. Some of those girls actually gave me some interesting reasons for why my past was a problem for them…I did not agree with it but none the less they gave me their reasons... One girl I dated said she’d be worried I cheat on her down the road because I did not get that out of my system when I was younger. A different girl said she would be worried I would regret not having fun and wanted a guy who is looking to settle down. Another girl said she needed a man that knows what he’s doing and she doesn’t want to have to teach a guy what to do. So naturally, it would be nice to be in a place where you can be accepted… at least for the most part haha..I am sure some waiters have also experienced something similar. To me personally, no it is not important anymore and it has not been for some time. It would become important to me if it mattered to someone I was with. That is a good question because when you are indoctrinated from day one, you are not allowed to even think for yourself. But somehow on this matter I did. If I ever got married, I thought it would be important to my future wife. I thought she would value the fact she would be my best sexual experience. She would never have to worry about any competition from my past (which there still is me), would never have to worry if she was sexually better or worse than any other lovers or just overall how she compared...but it seems like guys only care about this stuff lol..No Christian or even non-Christian woman I’ve met cares or even thinks about this stuff…Not to say there aren’t any though.
  14. Thank you! I hope the issues get resolved so more people can join. It seems like a great community
  15. Thanks! it sure took some effort to figure it out.
  16. Definitely talk to him! Show him you're interested and let him decided if he's going to pursue you. Usually, we have no idea what's going on in your minds lol so sometimes we need some help. Per your follow up question. If you aren't sure if he likes you, honestly, NEVER do that. As a guy, we will think ok she is clearly not interested and just wants to be friends....And that's how you get lumped into the friends zone, while they end up dating other women. Women just FYI- Remember just as much as you want to be wanted, desired and pursued, men also want to be sought some degree. If a guy is in church and there is one lady who has shown him she is interested and another lady who shows him she is neutral, which one do you think will get his attention???
  17. Thank you! I wish it was but I am guessing a lot of the staff members have pretty much moved on and forgot about this site