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About redgrapes

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  1. Random Thoughts

    Hahaha. I'm glad you understood me.
  2. Random Thoughts

    Oh, you were talking about time... I thought you were talking about this thread.
  3. Hello everyone!

    Hi arabella. Welcome to the forum. I understand you are very young, so I'd like to caution you to be careful what you say. Rape is very real and existent to those who experience it. Even in the United States, the statistics are still depressing in my opinion, especially considering any number above zero is too high. It's a far cry from "non-existent." I knew a girl in college who was brutally raped in a parking garage (in America). There are people (from America) reading your words on this forum who have been raped. Individual trauma is the same regardless where it occurs. Suffering of one does not diminish the suffering of another in supposed comparison. Anyway, I promise I'm not trying to be negative; clearly your post has been well received. I think it's inspiring to see young people committed to waiting.
  4. Me

    Hi CosmicClass. Welcome. To. The. Forum
  5. Values your parents taught you

    Welcome back, @CrystalFaerie! Now for my answers... Values or beliefs my parents have passed on to me which I intend to keep and pass on: Highest regard for telling the truth, honesty Loyalty Belief in equality of all people Prioritizing education, reading and engagement in life-long learning Love of nature and the outdoors, and gentle treatment of animals Financially living within one's means and supporting family members No alcohol consumption, smoking or recreational drug use Respect for the law Vulgar language is unbecoming and a bad attitude is ugly Philanthropy (more from grandparents) Punctuality and discipline Values and approaches I discovered independently and would also like to pass on: Christian values and not taking any of it for granted Critical and independent thinking Humility and tolerance Waiting until marriage Nonviolent world view Simple living, non-consumerism, minimalist mindset Loving without expectation and demonstrating love through external actions, words, and behavior Gracious manners, not to impress but to put others at ease Modest dress and only viewing materials that uphold this standard Appreciation of the classics and great people; exposure to good role models I never had Prioritizing health above other forms of success It seems I want to pass on these values because I want my children, if I have any, to be better than I am and have a significantly higher quality of life than I did. I think my parents wanted the same for myself and my sibling but more in outward, academic accomplishments and intellectual development whereas my emphasis would first be on uncompromising good character combined with critical thinking.
  6. I am not waiting because I am single. I am waiting until marriage and will wait through every relationship until that point. I would let go of any relationship in which I felt my partner was seriously pressuring me to have sex because they "cannot wait." I would not give in. I am waiting until marriage.
  7. Hi Andy92. Welcome to the forum! I'm so sorry about your sister and your other burdens. Many girls your age may not understand you because they have not been through the same difficult life experiences and don't share the same values. To put it anther way: you may have better luck with a girl who has been through similar trials and is also waiting for you. Yes, it certainly does exist. Yes, you have found the right forum.
  8. New here

    Hi Tee. Welcome to the forum!
  9. What does your purity ring look like?

    The closest thing I've had to a purity ring are key-chains my friend and I swiped from hidden storage in the back of health class. I put it on my bag for the duration of high school but I don't think anyone noticed. It looked really outdated even at the time. Here it is, front and back, in all its glory:
  10. Hey everyone

    Hi inhizeyez. Welcome to the forum!
  11. I suppose part of my response came from things I already know from chat (like how DHZ wants to get married, advice people give him, etc) and not entirely from the content of this thread. I get the impression most members of the forum take relationships quite seriously compared to non-waiters and consider dating a trial as a potential spouse, like a pre-engagement stage. For myself, I would only have a boyfriend if I could imagine marrying them some day, otherwise I would feel I was using them or wasting their time, so for me the processes are the same. Thank you. My post wasn't supposed to be about you personally (if anything I was thinking more about my own former beliefs) or your work, as I'm sure it is both intelligent and an asset to your future family, but against the recommendation that @DHZ adopt a certain attitude himself. I think an assumption was made that certain traits are universally attractive- they're not- and I was merely using an example of my own personal taste to address the point. I doubt I am alone in my sentiment of not finding a man with an attitude of indifference or whom behaved disinterested as attractive. A girl who is interested in DHZ probably won't also be attracted to the guy who is barreling past people. Some advice given (on chat as well) could actually decrease his odds of finding the right person if he is no longer genuine; or make him feel insufficient or undeserving of a girlfriend presently, thus decreasing his confidence and leading him into a perpetual state of "self improvement" when he is already enough. Nobody should have to conform to some supposed ideal to find a mate. I don't think anyone should force unnatural qualities or be more like someone else in order to find someone. And it seems like DHZ is already magnetic by your definition.
  12. I was raised non-religious and waited despite never hearing religious reasoning for waiting. Now I wait for many reasons including religious. I know I would have still waited from my previous perspective, but I am strengthened and more confident in my conviction than if I had remained agnostic.
  13. I think there are separate categories of goals and one category is not necessarily "bigger" than the other. I also believe @DHZ is ultimately looking for a wife and not just getting a date, which is a respectable goal in my humble opinion. Yes, and I wouldn't want to marry one in 99% of cases. The work they are so intent on doing is usually quite insignificant in the grand scheme, and their behavior signifies they may not make an attentive husband or father. Most of the time they are just fooling themselves and the following type who want to see where they're going, which is usually nowhere. “God never hurries." - A.W. Tozer Anyway, to my main point: I don't think @DHZ needs to change in order to find someone fitting for him. Self improvement is always beneficial, but we can miss a once in a lifetime opportunity by thinking we need to become something better or achieve more before advancing in other areas of our life. Not everything will proceed in perfect order nor does it have to.
  14. Hey

    Hi seabutterfly. Welcome to the forum! I'm relieved there are still teenagers such as yourself committed to waiting.
  15. I'm glad to have found this site!

    Hi rotorgirl. Welcome to the forum! It is encouraging just having you on the forum.