redgrapes

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About redgrapes

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    Advanced Member

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  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    : US

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  1. New for now single and for Christ

    Hi Theo. Welcome to the forum! Yes, I agree completely- waiting until marriage is a means of self protection.
  2. 10 months late...

    Hi Maryann. Welcome to the forum! It looks like you signed up only nine days before I did.
  3. A lot of words

    Hi Adam. Welcome to the forum! No need to apologize for writing a lot- I find lengthy introductory posts much more interesting. So, keep writing!
  4. Hello Everyone!

    Hi Katie. Welcome to the forum!
  5. New Members-Girls Only

    Welcome to the forum, Couturiere! I understand you perfectly- your English is excellent!
  6. Bored like me?

    Hi Yin-Yang. Welcome to the forum! I really wish the chat room was working presently so you could have another method to connect with fellow waiters.
  7. Dating Site Mistakes

    Well I've never tried online dating, but I know how I would react if I had. I honestly wouldn't bother responding if I received a generic message that could be sent word for word to everyone else, even if it was polite and pleasant. In fact I'd use that as my standard for whether or not to respond. Perhaps try thinking about it from her perspective whenever you send a message. She wants to feel special and not like another dating profile. Women want to see that a guy read their profile so commenting on something specific she wrote is probably mandatory in order to hear back from her. Also, she may have no way to respond to you except to say "thanks, you too," which is not very inspiring. Express genuine interest in learning more about her and provide her an opportunity to tell you more about herself. I think you should keep experimenting with it. Don't get discouraged!
  8. Howdy!

    Hi MikeyD. Welcome to the forum! Yes, there are members from all over the world, but it still seems the US has the most members of any given country.
  9. Set Apart Girl Conference 2017 ! I was there ! :D

    Wow, @Geraldine, I'm so excited for you! Such stunning photographs! Thank you for sharing your experience with us- don't hold back if you have more you'd like to say about what you learned, haha. It looks like it was a busy weekend. I hope you enjoyed your stay in the US!
  10. How do you know if he/she is the one?

    I think people refer to "the one" in two different ways. Some use the term interchangeably with "the person I will marry" ("Is he the one?" equating "Is he the man I want to spend the rest of my life with? Is he my future husband?") and others use it in reference to their soulmate ("Is he the one?" and "Is he my soulmate?"). Either way, the omniscience of God includes knowing who we will or will not marry before we are born, even exercising our own free will, and what the outcome will be. In that sense I believe "the one" is literally the individual I decide to enter into marriage with, regardless of whether or not there are signs. Before marriage I wouldn't call anyone "the one" except as an abbreviation of "he's the one I want to marry." If you don't mind my asking, what kind of signs did you receive? Do you believe they were coincidental or from another source?
  11. Can't enjoy novels anymore

    Haha. Same here, except I loved the old Jurassic Park movies growing up. And that theme song!
  12. Fiance vs Father

    Wait until he finds out you told the internet! Just kidding. It's hard to answer not knowing the issue or particulars but I'll try to put myself in the situation. I tend to agree with you. I probably would have told my fiance, though my father wouldn't say anything expecting me not to tell as I'm not very close with him. He would anticipate it and probably wouldn't be bothered by it. I also can understand your father's perspective given the situation. For example, if you asked him his opinion that would be different than his freely offering it, and therefore I believe you would owe him some privacy in return for his answer. I'm not sure if this was the case or not. So to answer the main question: it depends, but realistically family should expect two individuals preparing for marriage to share everything relevant with one another. I think circumstances like this can ultimately result in greater closeness between people given they are properly resolved. Your father being open about an issue he had with your fiance gives your fiance the opportunity to potentially rectify the matter and gain in his confidence, a chance he wouldn't have if your father kept silent. Honestly, I'm not sure if his texting your father in that manner was the best approach, as it may have been better to initiate with an apology for his shortcoming and asking how he can be a better son in law to him in the future. Then say he would prefer to address anything directly so you don't have to become a mediator between the two for life. Congratulations on taking the next step, and I wish you all the best!
  13. Yes, exactly: deciding whether or not someone is a virgin is beside the point so why bother? I'm not quite sure why you said certain things because I said having preferences is good. Obviously nobody should date anyone they're uncomfortable with; I wasn't saying the opposite at all. It's when one applies their own definition to other people and tells them they can or cannot call themselves something based on it- that is imposing. I don't think it's polite to assume the authority to deliberate over another individual's virginity and especially to share one's conclusion on the matter. If I were to start telling people they aren't a virgin because I decided viewing porn constituted a loss of virginity (I don't believe this by the way), apart from being tremendously rude, I would be disregarding all their efforts of waiting, undermining their true virginity, and grouping them with people who made no effort in saving their selves. About upbringing, people are apparently raised with very different definitions and ideas as to what constitutes intimacy (possible factors being religious vs. non-religious and public vs. private/home-schooled). Coming from a non-religious and public school background, nobody used many of the definitions expressed here. Terminology presented during adolescence may affect or even determine behavior. Preferences are fine. Overtly labeling people based on one's own worldview can be arrogant and demeaning.
  14. New kid on the block

    Hi Jon. Welcome to the forum!
  15. Hi Everyone! Newbie from London, UK

    Hi BlackRose. Welcome to the forum!