TarantulaNebula

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About TarantulaNebula

  • Rank
    Newbie
  • Birthday 07/18/1986

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  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Copenhagen, Denmark
  1. Hello, I'm a new member so I'm not quite sure what to expect of this message board. However, I hope I can share my problems and ask my questions to you on here...I'd be very grateful to know what your thoughts and, maybe even, advice are. Please excuse my English, too, I'm not a native English speaker. I'm a 29 year old woman who has always been highly idealistic. I'm the sort of person who always ponders over 'right' and 'wrong', because I'm of the belief that all of our actions and choices have consequences. Whether positive or negative. One of the strong beliefs I have always had is that sex is something I'd only want to have with my husband...not really for religious reasons, but because I value my health, my body and my happiness. And because I want to avoid emotional hurt, contracting STDs, unwanted pregnancies and simply being disrespected and used by men. To this date it's an ideal I live by; I'm 29 and I have never had sex or even kissed a man before. While I'm content with my abstinence, I never thought I'd be almost 30 and still single, still a virgin. I never thought my sexual purity would be a problem for me and my love life. But it is. Being a virgin makes it really hard to date on so many levels. And because I'm struggling as a virgin - while seeing promiscuity being promoted as a positive thing, and while seeing promiscuous people striving in their love lives - I'm growing increasingly resentful of promiscuity and promiscuous people. It's not that I don't attract men...I do. Even good men. But when I have dated a good man, it has always severely disappointed me when I have learned he doesn't share my views on virginity and sexual purity - or when he has said sexual promiscuity isn't a big deal to him. It's even more disappointing when I have learned that the men I'm interested in aren't abstinent. For the past 1½ years I have been seeing a guy, and I have ended up falling deeply in love with him. He is younger than I am (27) and has had 6 sex partners. While he doesn't like "easy women", he doesn't particularly care much about virginity and the concept of sexual purity. He has always made it clear to me that he doesn't value the fact that I have saved myself for marriage, which has caused me to have low self-esteem; Because being a believer of no-sex-before-marriage is such a big part of my identity, and what I consider to be special about me. It doesn't matter that he tells me I'm the most beautiful girl in the world, the most unique and special person he has ever met, that he has never loved anyone but me...I still feel like nothing, because of our sexual differences and the zero value he puts on my sexual choices. For the past 6 months, our relationship has really struggled, because I don't give more of myself to him. He went from telling me that he loves me and that I'm the One to taking 4 days to even reply to a "How are you?" message that I send to him. He's become very cold and distant with me, while he always seems to have time for other people - other women. It hurts me a lot, and I feel really low in mood and self-esteem. I'm really heart-broken these days, like I have never been before. And that has caused my resentment for promiscuous people to grow and intensify. I don't understand why promiscuity seems to be the thing that gets you what you want in life. At least, that's what it looks like to me. I don't understand why promiscuity is considered the right and natural thing to practice - just because so many people are promiscuous? I get told all the time that I'm "wrong" and backwarded for believing in sexual purity in 2016. And that just makes me so resentful of the society I'm part of, and of love, of relationships, of men and of women. I don't want to feel that way, because I'm a positive person normally, and I want to believe in love...that I can find it for myself. I'd love to know what you guys' thoughts are...