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About Syzygy

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  1. Hello Everyone! Unfortunately the chat room has not been working for awhile. I have created a temporary unofficial chat room for those of you who are interested while we wait on the official one to be fixed (hopefully not long ) It is located at You will need to register (don't worry, it's free) to access the page. You will also need a password to join. To ensure that only wtm forum members can see the password, I will have it posted in the guy's only / girl's only section of the forum. Please use your forum name when you register (or if unavailable, something similar to it).
  2. Can't enjoy novels anymore

    "However, I started noticing a theme that just makes my skin crawl. The girl will be a virgin, and the guy has been with tons of women. But now that he's met her, he wishes he'd never been with anyone else." I've heard about themes along these lines before. It really shows a twisted dichotomy in values. The protagonist girl gets to be a "good girl" because she is a virgin. Yet, she gets to enjoy the envy of other (loose) girls because she now has the sole attention of a womanizer that is "in demand"
  3. Hi Everyone! Newbie from London, UK

    Welcome to the forum
  4. New kid on the block

    Welcome to the forum
  5. Salutations!

    Welcome to the forum
  6. Greetings Everyone

    Welcome to the forum (belated official welcome)
  7. Hello

    welcome to the forum
  8. New Member

    welcome to the forum
  9. New here! :)

    Welcome to the forum
  10. Hello!

    Welcome to the forum
  11. Let me be blunt, you need to end this relationship. Just having to question your relationship like this is a sign that all is not well. "I really love him and we have so much in common." -You might have strong emotions (i.e. "feelings") for him. But, given everything you wrote you certainly don't have much in common at all. You say you recently found out about his drugs, drinking, and abortion. There's no telling what else you haven't learned of yet. Each one of those is horrible things (and deal breakers for most) but abortion is certainly the worst of those by far! Abortion can be a complicated issue for some, but this case doesn't sound like such a situation (I'm guessing here it was just b/c a new baby would be an "inconvenience"). If a guy was willing to kill his own flesh and blood what else need I say! If one can't love their own children how can they even love someone else! Even all morality aside, you have basically stated that you have no shared values. An age difference (within reason) isn't that big of a deal if one shares (and lives by) the same values and faith. But, here there is nothing in common. I can't help imagine that this guy nearly twice your age would love to use your age to make his ex jealous. He has not just made some mistakes, he has lived his life in error. Now, his future is shaped by that. You are 19 and have your whole life ahead of you. There is no reason you should tie it to his.
  12. If someone is not presently seriously waiting, then I could never consider them as having relationship potential for myself. Having high standards means you might have to wait longer, but it is well worth it.
  13. I think that there would be a big lack of compatibility between a virgin waiter and a single mother. Your background and experience would be very different from her's. I would especially be wary of singles mothers trying to rope you in to acquire your resources. As she has children by another man (or men!), these are people that you will have to deal with at some point in the future to some degree as well. I personally couldn't see myself raising another man's progeny like that unless I was a widower who was marrying a widow.
  14. Yes, there are many people who have not been brought up with proper guidance and instruction in these matters. I can share my views and beliefs with such a person. However, someone that is not already waiting is not someone that I could consider a 'potential romantic partner'. There is the possibility that someone will falsely say they are now waiting. They might be lying and are waiting for the person to drop their standards. Or secondly, they may have made the decision without thinking it through and will then abandon it as soon as things become inconvenient for their lustful desires. Someone could truly change, but I could not consider them a potential match at the time. I could only consider someone a 'potential romantic partner' if they share my faith. If someone claims to be a believer but are committing fornication, believers are then commanded to not associate with them (Corinthians 5:11). If someone claimed to a believer but were living immorally then it would indicate that they are either not a real believer or that they know very little of the religion they claim. Neither are attractive statuses. I once talked to a girl (a waiter) who said that her ex-boyfriend was not virgins. He first said he would wait, but then later said that he couldn't wait any longer and pressured her to change. She stayed with him until he finally broke up with her. The whole scenario could probably been prevented in the first place. At the least, she could have ended things as soon as their boyfriend changed (or just revealed his true motive). @Ariel Rose: Many people here have strong preferences about who they could accept or not accept as a romantic partner. Regardless of what someone could accept or not accept in a potential significant other's past; I would say that one should not be with someone that is not presently committed to waiting. Waiters do not automatically equal virgins though. There are plenty of virgins who are not waiting (they haven't had a chance or haven't been successful in changing their "status" or are too shy/awkward, etc.; and then there are waiters who are not virgins (they either regret their past, or were widowed, etc).
  15. That's great if a non-waiter changes their mind and commits themselves to wait till marriage; but a romantic relationship is not the place to try to change or influence someone else in this manner. As to waiting for someone that one is committed to; marriage is the ultimate commitment. I think waiting till something less than marriage would be a sign of selfishness and a lack of commitment.