Syzygy

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About Syzygy

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  1. Yes, there are many people who have not been brought up with proper guidance and instruction in these matters. I can share my views and beliefs with such a person. However, someone that is not already waiting is not someone that I could consider a 'potential romantic partner'. There is the possibility that someone will falsely say they are now waiting. They might be lying and are waiting for the person to drop their standards. Or secondly, they may have made the decision without thinking it through and will then abandon it as soon as things become inconvenient for their lustful desires. Someone could truly change, but I could not consider them a potential match at the time. I could only consider someone a 'potential romantic partner' if they share my faith. If someone claims to be a believer but are committing fornication, believers are then commanded to not associate with them (Corinthians 5:11). If someone claimed to a believer but were living immorally then it would indicate that they are either not a real believer or that they know very little of the religion they claim. Neither are attractive statuses. I once talked to a girl (a waiter) who said that her ex-boyfriend was not virgins. He first said he would wait, but then later said that he couldn't wait any longer and pressured her to change. She stayed with him until he finally broke up with her. The whole scenario could probably been prevented in the first place. At the least, she could have ended things as soon as their boyfriend changed (or just revealed his true motive). @Ariel Rose: Many people here have strong preferences about who they could accept or not accept as a romantic partner. Regardless of what someone could accept or not accept in a potential significant other's past; I would say that one should not be with someone that is not presently committed to waiting. Waiters do not automatically equal virgins though. There are plenty of virgins who are not waiting (they haven't had a chance or haven't been successful in changing their "status" or are too shy/awkward, etc.; and then there are waiters who are not virgins (they either regret their past, or were widowed, etc).
  2. That's great if a non-waiter changes their mind and commits themselves to wait till marriage; but a romantic relationship is not the place to try to change or influence someone else in this manner. As to waiting for someone that one is committed to; marriage is the ultimate commitment. I think waiting till something less than marriage would be a sign of selfishness and a lack of commitment.
  3. Hi, Everyone: Date story

    Welcome to the website Amethyst. Yes, having good morals and standards can protect you from a lot of bad things and people!
  4. How to explain waiting for marriage

    I made a post concerning this topic. You can find it here-
  5. The title of this post sounds counterintuitive but it is true. I have seen a number of posts and heard about a number of girls who had boyfriends who said they “were willing to wait”. So far, I have never heard about any of these resulting in marriage. On the other hand, I have read of a number of stories about people who did wait till marriage who are now happily married. If you desires a good relationship, you should only date people who are truly waiting. "Willing to wait" or "waiting on someone else" is not really waiting. So far, every guy that I have ever heard of who was "waiting" on their girlfriend was doing exactly that! They were waiting for her to drop her standards. They were only hanging around in the hopes of using her. Even if someone really did respect their girlfriends decision that is not good enough. At best it is a counterfeit form of morality because they are basing their decision on someone else. Of course, if their girlfriend changed their mind, the "waiting" boyfriend would have no issue with adjusting... I found two good articles on this subject from the Chastity Project website: http://chastityproject.com/2014/08/dont-date-men-willing-save-sex-marriage/ and http://chastityproject.com/2015/01/still-dont-date-men-willing-save-sex/ Some great quotes from it- "Because I don’t want a man who acts chastely; I want a man who is chaste." "Because a man who would forsake virtue (his or mine) if only I gave him permission is a man whose standards are too low. " "Because men are capable of more than the world around them says they are. "No guy will wait that long” is a lie, and boys who are taught that turn into men who believe it. But I hold up a higher bar than that for men because I think my future kids deserve a dad who can reach one, because I believe men can reach one, because I believe God created them able to do it."
  6. Welcome to the forum Ariel. “The only thing killing me is that I feel like no one will love me enough to wait or think I am special enough.” –This is were your thinking is wrong Ariel. You are basing your self-worth on other people (namely guys, most of who don't have true love). Someone who truly loves you will not wait on you. That sounds counterintuitive to read, but someone really capable of true love will have be committed to waiting regardless of who they are interested in. Someone who is "waiting on you" is only waiting for you to drop your standards. No, don't give up! Waiting is totally worth it! I am in my 30's and I have no regrets at all about waiting. I am so glad that I committed myself to it when I was young. As far as meeting like minded people... you found this website so that is a start . Some churches might also offer a good place to look as well.
  7. Meow

    Welcome to the forum
  8. Hello!

    Welcome to the forum
  9. 1. Does being called a virgin make you feel bad about yourself? Has it ever? Not at all. It is an honorable title. 2. Have you ever been teased for it? What happened? How'd it make you feel? One time similar to Dave's experience at a previous job about a decade ago. The person soon stopped after realizing that it did not bother me at all. It only aggravates me in that I don't like receiving attention about it from people whose opinions or morals (i.e. lack or morals) I do not share. They only knew because they flat out asked me once. If the situation was repeated today, I'm not sure if I would give a direct answer or just say something like "That is none of your business." Though that might lead to someone making fun of you because they think you won't tell that you are a virgin because you are embarrassed about it (though that is not the case at all). Perhaps one should say yes and start evangelizing- that might scare them off quickly! 3. Do you even care what people think? why/why not? On this subject, not at all (assuming that 'people' means the bulk of society). I do value the input of people that I respect or share common morals and values, etc. with though. 4. Did you ever feel it was a pejorative term during your teenage years? Do you feel the same way about the term now? I knew that much of society uses it as a pejorative term. However, I always thought it was a good title to have. I still think that it is a good term.
  10. Welcome to the website. That is sad to hear about your husband.
  11. Relationship

    Welcome to the forum
  12. Hi All

    Welcome to the forum
  13. Hi Everyone!!

    Welcome to the forum
  14. That's awful S & S. That is a terribly hateful and untrue thing for a father to tell his daughter. It used to be expected that a father would be protective of his daughter. A guy who will not wait does not really love his girlfriend so you are not missing out there at all. I don't think I've ever stated outright to my parents that I am a virgin. But I think they have probably deduced it from other things I've said and such. I certainly don't have any embarrassment about it though. Being from a religious household, I guess you could just say it's just the norm for me so it's never really come up as a topic of discussion.
  15. A Frenchie!!!

    Welcome to the forum!