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Posts posted by sheris

  1. I have read most of your comments and I can understand the different point of views. Experience has taught some people to see life and do things differently, for me it has taught me not to downgrade other people's idea just because I don't agree with them.

    If you think it wrong, that's just how you feel and if you think it's right doesn't make the other person wrong its different strokes for different folks.

    I was listening to a recorded preaching one day and a preacher advised women to keep seeing other men until there is an engagement. At first I didn't agree with him because I don't like the idea of double dating but I know what he meant.

    And seriously as long as there is no commitment as in engagement I don't think its wrong to not put all your eggs in one basket. I don't see it as cheating cos whether we agree or not a relationship is just a getting to know process anything can happen and anyone can walkaway. More reason why sex shouldn't be involved. unless you are sure you want to spend the rest of your life together in which case you seal it. Plus its easier to deal with breakups.

  2. For me, I'll say its a good idea to ask any adult for help meeting girls if

    you trust their person, you know they are not going to be immature about it. they wont mock or make you feel bad because you asked them for help.

    you trust their judgment, you know they would know a good girl when they see one and their idea of a good girl would not be far from yours. There were times when some ladies(distant relatives)would try to hook me up, and I didn't even try to meet the guys cos I already didn't like their own choice of men. but if it was someone you know has a "good taste"(in your definition) then why not.

  3. well, I just know one thing for sure, I am not going to be waiting forever.

    It is not God's will (if it was, many years ago when i was still a catholic and wanted to be a nun, I would have gotten the support i needed) and its nolonger mine.

    There is a list of what I desire in a partner, now some are very important why others are just desires(though they are all important) I can overlook the others as long as the most important ones are there. Otherwise, I'll just wait till I meet him.

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  4. another nice article, tnx Geraldine! I try to encourage myself to be happy after i have been hurt in anyway but it takes quit some time and until then i still kind of blame my sadness on people and situations. I hear people say don't let anybody or thing determine your happiness,and i wonder how they do it so easily. I know am going to get it someday.....soon.

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  5. I think if you meet the right one, she would be happy with you irrespective of your sexual experience. Few days ago in another forum a guy made a thread, stating that he was a virgin and wants to know if any girl would like to marry him, and some ladies who commented, admitted that they were non-waiters but don't mind marrying a virgin and some said they prefer to marry one. So I believe it is not every non-waiter that is crazy about marrying an experienced guy. If she knows you are a virgin and appreciates that, then you have nothing to worry about.

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  6. well I use to have my pics here, when I was taking a break I deleted it, came back and didnt want to use the same pics so I used this one.Its my Ideal environment for relaxation.

    like crystalfaerie I saw it somewhere that adding your pics gives you extra point and I also like the Idea of putting a face to a name but then when people don't put their pics it didn't matter to me. plus its not my real name so.....

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  7. I found this interesting and taught some of you might like to TRY THIS AT HOME.

    🗿brain teaser🎭

    Guess the names of these countries:

    1. 🅾+👦







    8. I+ðŸƒ


    10. 🚣+s+1⃣+a


    12. ðŸ‹+s

    13. 💪+re+🚗

    14. 😡+⛽+🚘

    Think outside the box. E.g 8.Iran

    If the emoji isn't clear You could try to copy it to whatsapp. That way it'll be clearer.

    4 people like this

  8. I don't know. will someone still be on your good side if they offended you and you know they are not sorry in act, only in words? I dont hold the keys to heavens gate so I dont know if you are going in. I think you should ask the one who does.

    After reading your fifth paragraph, I'm surprised you still don't know why you keep falling right back. See if you think like this, then you won't be doing enough to get out. and honestly I too dont understand what you mean by waiting since both of you are still sexually active.

    I will just point you to Rom6 and Rev21vs8. This time dont ask man for understanding, ask God.

  9. Thanks for your replies. I do appreciate gifts without complains, I just taught if I got one I don't like again it might be good to explain that its not my style or something so it doesn't happen again..... I asked here because i already don't find it hard to tell my girlfriends I don't like something they bought , even for themselves(talk about minding peoples business),because i want them to do the same to me but it just doesn't seem like its ever going to be okay with the opposite gender. No I don't accept gift from everybody, but when i do from those i do and i don't like it?..... the other day i was waiting for a friend and she was taking too long so i decided to enter a store, there a lady came in to return a dress her fiancé bought for her cos she didn't like it(here i know she went too far) and it was too expensive, she dnt see why he should spend such an amount on a dress she wouldn't be wearing, and the women there called her an ingrate, not to her face though, after she had left. They said she wouldn't be getting a gift from him again whether she realise it or not(they probably spoke from experience). Well if it was me I would like that somebody is helping me not waste money. I've heard women say men don't like to be told that they didn't buy the right thing, its why I asked but after all I think i know the answer. JUST APPRECIATE with no comment to whether you don't like it.

    .....about the size of gifts, it is the giver and the reason behind the giving that i usually concern my self with, not the size.

  10. A question for the guys, I want to know in case of next time.

    It was my mum that said "if someone cares about you enough to buy you a gift, you should accept with a smile and say thank you, don't complain" and when I got a gift I wouldn't use she said "why did you accept it in the first place? how can you say you truly appreciate a gift (e.g cloths) if you are not going to use it(i:e wear it)," and am thinking err! not this one.

    My question is if you buy a girl a gift and she didn't like it, would you prefer she said oh its perfect! even though she didn't like it or tell you she didn't like them in the nicest way possible? I would really prefer if the later was OK, to avoid future mistake.

  11. The people above me have urged you to keep the faith and continue on the path you’ve been struggling with all your adult life, but I think you should be well aware that there are other options that you can choose -- and that are okay to choose.

    The Christians on this site will tell you that the Bible commands Christians to WTM, but that is just one interpretation and in fact many Christians do not feel that their religion obligates them to do so, and the majority do not WTM. Know that you are not a bad person if you decide to have sex before marriage. If anyone told you that or you were made to feel that way by the culture you were raised in or religion, then those people are wrong. Not WTM is nothing to be ashamed of. Based on your post, your struggles WTM seem to be taking a huge toll on your wellbeing. That’s not good. You deserve to do what makes you happy in this life. There is nothing inherently good about WTM -- it’s only good if it benefits you and improves your quality of life… and it doesn’t sound like it’s doing that at all. I think the desire to WTM has to come deep down from the innermost part of your soul or it will come into major conflict with other desires you have, which is clearly happening in your case. The fact that numerous times over the years there has been a recurring pattern of you "doing other things" and coming very close to having sex says to me that WTM might not be the best choice for you.

    It is a new year and you are at a crossroads. Something very important clearly needs to change in your life or nothing will change and one of these days you may finally go all the way and impulsively have sex and feel horrible about it -- not only because you didn't WTM but also because you feel like you can't trust yourself to hold true to your convictions. Just reading some people’s advice on here encouraging you to keep WTM, although it might lift your spirits for a moment, probably won’t have any lasting effect. You’ve been struggling with this for over a decade: haven’t you gone through cycles like this before, where you temporarily feel fired up and motivated to change and then sooner or later you go back to repeating the same behaviors again? I know I experience that all the time when I want to change my behavior. The thing is, in order to change you have to truly want to change with every fiber of your being, and you can’t really make yourself want to change because in order to do that you have to already want to in the first place.

    It seems to me you only have two real options here: either 1) somehow completely change who you are -- take permanently mind altering drugs, climb Mt. Everest and have a spiritual awakening, cut off your testicles -- do something, anything to ensure that you do not continue being tortured by your abstinence, or 2) try to accept the idea that WTM just simply might not be something you’re suited for -- and given the sexual dysfunction you described, maybe even consider seeing a sexual therapist or a high-class escort to help you gain some sexual confidence.

    WTM is not for everyone, and again, that’s perfectly fine. Nothing bad will happen to you if you have sex before marriage. You will be exactly the same person you were before. And it most certainly will not destroy the possibility of you ever finding true love and getting happily married. That’s what most people do.

    Anyway, whatever you decide, good luck and happy New Year!

    Eya! If a person is not a christian, or don't believe in the bible then he/she might walk with this but if you are a true believer then no one should tell you that wtm is required. True no one should ostracize you should you not wait, doesn't make it right. what's wrong is wrong doesn't matter who is doing it. There are times when I would think waiting was my problem but it really is not, some my friends who aren't waiting go through the same thing only with more heartbreak stories and my friends who waited are all married and look happy. If you think carefully you will realise that the problem isn't really bcos U are waiting. Now if i went astray I would be sorry and not justify myself because I have needs that needed to be met, you can't act on every emotion(its called self control), worse if you tell yourself its bcos U want to feel better......I feel like am talking too much already.


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