Joshua

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Posts posted by Joshua


  1. How would you feel if the christian woman you had serious (possibly future wife) told you that she was sexually abused by a sadistic man, who by definition tortured her into being a submissive. ( what i mean by submissive, is a Master/sub) and after him was raped by different males along her life.And there might also be a chance that she can never have children. would you still want her? is she still worthy to be wanted? 

     

    Yes I'd want her. She'd still be worthy...but whether she believes so herself is unfortunately the bigger issue. :/ ...but all things are possible with faith.

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  2. John 3:6-7

     

    6 That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.

     

    7 Do not be amazed that I said to you, 'You must be born again'.

     

     

    1 Corinthians 15:46-49

     

    46 The spiritual did not come first, but the natural, and after that the spiritual.

     

    47 The first man was of the dust of the earth; the second man is of heaven.

     

    48 As was the earthly man, so are those who are of the earth; and as is the heavenly man, so also are those who are of heaven.

     

    49 And just as we have borne the image of the earthly man, so shall we bear the image of the heavenly man.

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  3. Good first lesson. I used to host and lead bible study every 3rd Saturday at a family's home, so believe me, I know how hard that first lesson is lol. It was so hard to stay focus with all eyes on me; lost my train of thought several times...but thankfully my family was very loving and forgiving.

    If you get nervous and start to loose focus, don't focus on how many ppl *will* see your video. Treat it as if you're talking to just 1 person; like your best friend. There's only one eye on you, your camera. Teach that camera your lesson lol.

    Also, maybe add some subtitles to appear when you transition to the next subtopic.

    The visual cues will help break up the lesson into smaller bites...like if someone needs to come back to it later to finish up. You can timestamp link your subtopics in your video description.

    Finally, I suggest you *keep making videos*!! You'll get better and better.

    Good job. :)

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  4. Welcome, welcome!  :)

     

    Thank You Thank you Ellegabrielle!

     

     

    I am a non virgin F who had a successful relationship with a WTM boy. I actually found it REFRESHING that he wasn't that interested in sex. I'm sure other girls out there will feel the same. But i think a non WTM person will want license to masturbate.

     

    I agree Lyra. :) I just don't want it to be such an issue this time around. And welcome to the site!


  5. Hey DHZ!

     

    Believe me, the following really works:

     

    1. Make a list of the top 10 things you'd like to be/do/have

     

    2. Stand in front of a mirror in privacy

     

    3. Take one item from your list, look yourself square in the eyes and say that you are/have/are doing that item on your list.

     

    4. Say it again, only more convinced that it's actually true.

     

    5. Say it yet again.

     

    6. Stand there eye to eye and hear what you just said, letting it sink in.

     

    7. Repeat for the next item.

     

    Do this at least every morning and evening if you can't do it as often as you feel defeated, until you are convinced of what you are being told. What you keep telling yourself will begin resonating in your mind more and more strongly each day. Eventually your actions will follow your belief to where you start progressing towards those things becoming reality.

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  6. Yes yes yes. I was a victim of this with my ex girlfriend. She did all of these things to me.

     

    I finally started questioning my sanity or memory of events when she would gaslight. Before I knew the official term for it I just called it her "revisionist history tactic". I'd make a statement regarding something and if she didn't like what I said she'd immediately tell me I said something entirely different and that it hurt or offended her (0_o??), making me out to be the bad guy. Then I'd spend so much time and energy trying to convince her that I hadn't *just* said what she was accusing me of, that after a while I was so exhausted and frustrated that I didn't care to change her mind.

     

    Eventually I started keeping records of texts (screenshots) just for proof to end her gaslighting...a bit extreme, I know. But the crazy thing is, she'd still deny the proof! :0

     

     

    But great post Geraldine. I'd add, a few more warning signs to look out for are:

     

    - Beware of those who quickly place you on pedestals (e.g. "you are perfect; the most wonderful man/woman in the world."), it's most likely a setup and manipulative tactic to gain control of your self-esteem so that when necessary they can crush it by calling you the cruelest person they've ever known. Admiration of your SO is normal but excessive over-exaggeration of how great you are is suspect.

     

    - Beware of those who accelerate through the relationship very quickly (e.g. [week 2 of knowing them] "we are soulmates! I think we should get married!"), telltale sign of trying to control the relationship. Ask yourself why they're trying to rush things

     

    - Beware of triangulation: intentionally comparing you with an ex/"friend"/potential suitor they know who's trying to pursue them; passively threatening to go to them to receive what you're apparently not providing.

     

    - Beware of those who change the rules on you frequently (e.g. "I want to marry" then weeks later "Marriage isn't for me. I'd feel caged; trapped" then weeks later "we need to marry"). This one is primarily a tactic of Narcissistic or Borderlines meant to keep you guessing as to how to actually please them. Everyone at their core is a certain way, and in the natural course of a relationship your significant other will/should begin to learn you; to get to know you better. But those seeking to emotionally/psychologically abuse you don't want you to know them at their core so that you will always be in error.

     

    - Beware of those who admire abusers or bullies in their past, praising how well they were bullied and abused by them. We typically emulate those who we admire.

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  7. @ Joshua

    However, for the wives subjected to husbands who command them to do sinful and/or foolish things, it's not a hypothetical situation or exception, it's a reality.

     

    Hi Proverbs. As we discuss this now in this thread, indeed it's also a reality that virtuous men have commanded their virtuous wives in holiness. It's also true that virtuous men have suffered through lives with sinful rebellious wives. It's also true that sinful men and and sinful wives have ruined the biblical institution of marriage, following no scripture...

     

    My comment here was in support of Johnny's statement, that indeed we can imagine a whole host of negative scenarios but it provides no net benefit to the discussion (of a wife submitting biblically) to argue these instances unless it can be proven that the *majority* of Christian husbands - as a rule - command their submissive wives to sin. If you can't prove that, it's a waste of time to consider the virtue of this issue based on that.

     

    Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the CHURCH submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Eph 5:22-24

     

    Wives are NOT instructed to submit to their husbands "like Christ submitted to the Father." That's not a Biblical instruction for wives. The Bible specifically and emphatically instructs wives to submit to their husbands like the CHURCH SUBMITS TO CHRIST. The Bible does NOT say that wives should submit to their husbands "like Christ submitted to the Father." Therefore, the focus should on how the CHURCH submitted to Christ. The parallel, analogy and context of Eph 5:22-24 is between wives and the CHURCH - not wives and Christ.

    I don't really understand your contention here.

    Aren't ALL followers of Christ commanded to follow Christ's example, which *supersedes* any relationship we have with one another? Paul's letter came after Christ's gospel. Indeed Christ's example is for women and men, as such is paramount to this faith, isn't it? Is Christ all of our example...or are you implying that Christ is just men's example to follow (leaving women without obligation or *right* to Christ)?

    We must consider the entire counsel of God with issues (i.e. all of scripture). For instance, I could've said women must submit to their husbands like Israel (called God's wife [Jeremiah 3:8]) submitted to Nebuchadnezzar (book of Daniel) in the OT, and it would've been scripturally accurate, because God appointed him as "head" over Israel. And what's interesting is Neb is considered a "vessel of dishonor" (i.e. a bad guy) who was responsible for Israel's *punishment* and *suffering*...appointed by God over his "wife".

    I could've then referenced Paul's NT instruction to submit to government (Romans 13:1) - as an example of a wife's responsibility to submit to her husband - because that's the "authority (head)" God ordained over the people. And as such an ordained authority, Paul also commands not to *resist* or *rebel against* the authority placed over you because God is the one who established it (Romans 13:2).

     

    So whether that authority is good or evil, one who's under an authority is required to submit to it because those placed in certain positions of authority by God (parents/husbands/governors/presidents/priests/kings) *must* answer to God at the end of days for how they handled their responsibility. It's not our job to judge them as worthy of our submission as children/wives/subjects/flock/people. The way of God is not a democracy (i.e. bottom-up). It's a theocracy (top-down).

    This should make it clear whether we should resist any authority over us for any reason: Child to parent; wife to husband; people to government; church to Christ; Christ to God.

    Again here's 1 Corinthians 11:3 - But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

    ...so the hierarchy of authority (headship) is:

    God

    Christ

    Man (as Husband)

    Woman (as Wife)

     

    Unlike God the Father (Christ's head) husbands are fallible, imperfect sinners. Therefore, if a husband is telling his wife that she must be tortured, beaten, stripped naked and hung until dead in order to please her husband, that's domestic violence, and it's not Christlike. Unfortunately, far too many husbands believe that they have a divine right to torture, beat, strip and/or kill their wives.

    You miss the point of marriage and you miss the point of biblical faith. Why marry someone if you're not going to trust them??

    In biblical marriage you are agreeing to a head over you of you're a woman, and a responsibility of headship if you are a man. And with that agreement the woman is expected to have faith in her husband that he is a man of God, while the man is to have faith that his wife is a woman of God. But if these two things are untrustworthy to you (man or woman) then by all means do not marry. It's better if you remained single.

    We don't operate off of what we see. We operate off of faith, which necessitates believing in what we *do not see* (Heb 11:1), so your evidence doesn't translate into valid reasons for a woman to be ready to resist or rebel her husband. "What God joins together" (Matthew 19:6) means he has ordained that husband over that wife. And if she CHOOSES to make him her head (as no one is forcing her into it), her responsibility is to submit to her husband. His responsibility is to submit to Christ. Christ's responsibility is to submit to God.

     

    So the best advice for any Christians seeking marriage is to weight the costs (Luke 14:28), both man and woman.

     

    ...but by all means red flag me :)

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