Sabrina

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About Sabrina

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    Advanced Member

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    Female
  • Location
    East Coast
  • Interests
    Books, Politics, Math, Running, Scifi, Baking

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  1. Dating

    Fair points I think we do perhaps differ in our definitions of dating. Regarding the specific example of a wtm conference speed dating scenario, I don't have a problem with it, I just don't think it would be very effective. That wasn't the situation I was talking about though. From my perspective, it starts to get sketchy when we're looking at multiple, concurrent dating relationships (which are necessarily romantic - otherwise it's just friends hanging out... which would be fine...) That is unsustainable- meaning, the speed/polydating thing won't work past a couple of dates. If the woman wasn't upfront about the situation to the men, then it is surely a waste of their time. And this scenario in which you get to know multiple people at the same time in a dating situation is going to lower the quality of all those experiences (smaller quantity/quality time to spend with each person, heightened stress, high pressure, etc), so it is also a waste of time in that regard. It is kind of ridiculous in that it's like an episode of the bachelorette (to be fair, I haven't seen the show, so it might not be as ridiculous as the ads make it appear heh). On a personal note, I think I would be pretty emotionally distraught in this situation. People would probably get hurt through this, and I would necessarily have to reject the guys after a while, or have them reject me, and all that emotional mess and insecurity and drama and ain't nobody got time for that. lol Just my twopense
  2. Questions for the ladies of WTM

    1) Would you marry a man knowing that you would not be first in his life? For example, if his profession took precedence in his life would you be ok with that? As others have said, I expect him to put God first as a Christian. Beyond that... probably not. I don't even think our children should come before each other. I believe that when you keep your spouse as top priority, it gives your children the highest sense of security, that mom and dad love each other and aren't going anywhere. Also, obviously there might be intense periods in his life where his work or education would take precedence for a temporary amount of time, but that would be ok. 2) How important is sex in a marriage? Like if he didn't have a very high sex drive would that change the way you felt about him? Um... very important. I don't think that I would be attracted to a man with a low sex drive (yikes is that harsh or what?) Obviously sex isn't the most important thing in marriage, but in that hypothetical marriage, I would feel crushed if he seemed uninterested in sex a lot of the time. 3) Would you ever live and raise children in another country? Why or why not? Sure, I would do that. If my hypothetical husband were from another country, and it made the most sense to raise them there, I would be fine with that.
  3. Dating

    So sort of like polyamory without sex? I have a feeling these commenters were half-serious, half-kidding, but I'll bite... I think the idea is kind of ridiculous, quite shallow, and definitely unsustainable. Most men wouldn't put up with that (same for most women if the sexes are reversed). I can understand the situation where a woman goes out on one or two dates with one man, then nothing comes of it and she goes out on a date with another guy the next week; that doesn't seem unreasonable. But being in multiple dating relationships concurrently? It's a selfish waste of everyone's time (especially if she doesn't disclose the polydating to the men!). That kind of person is more interested in a well-stroked ego than in having any kind of serious relationship.
  4. Aww, well I've never assumed that someone was married because of how old they were. If anything, the opposite: I've been surprised to discover people were married if they were in their late teens/early 20s. But I always check the left hand for a ring. Besides, isn't the average age for men to marry like 29-30 now? Although I feel like here in ny, the average age for marriage is about 47 lol.
  5. Dating for Virgins

    Hi and welcome anointedtowait! Great to have you here As a believer, I think it is pretty straightforward sharing with the person you are dating that you are a virgin, because hopefully the person you are dating is also saved. For a Christian, it is a given (or rather, it should be a given) that he/she is waiting till marriage to have sex (even if they have had sex before coming to the Lord). So I think that mentioning virginity would naturally follow a conversation about your views on obeying the Lord in abstaining from sex before marriage.
  6. Pet Peeves

    People who cut in front of me in the fast lane, and then proceed to slow down to 5 miles below the speed limit. Dude, your lane is over there.
  7. Hey, Y'all

    Hi Sif of Texas, this native Yankee welcomes you to the site
  8. Dropping out of ROTC

    Hi Ranvier. I am so sorry to hear about your injury and the other things you had to go through. You sound like a very strong individual, and I admire you for going into a STEM field. First let me say this. You are not a failure. And you should absolutely not feel shame about what that rotc leader said... you made the right choice for you, and it doesn't mean you are weak or anything of the sort. You, as a neuroscientist understand the biology that makes men and women, as sexes, quite different physiologically. Humans are a sexually dimorphic species. You are right when you point out that we as women have 40% less upper body strength than men, and various other physiological differences that make us better at men at certain things, and not as good as men at other things. That is a good thing women and men complement each other. We each have strengths and weaknesses, and there should be no shame in recognizing both our limitations and our strengths. After school (I got a bachelors in chemistry, then postbac for nursing) I seriously considered joining the Navy as a clinical nurse, but then I got cancer, and you cannot join the military until 5 years of being cancer-free. I had always been tomboy that wanted to show I could do anything the boys could do, be just as tough. And yet, as an adult woman, I disagree with modern western feminism as well, because I also reject the notion that in order to be equal to men, I have to imitate everything that men do, or compete with men. I am already equal with men, I don't need to beat men at push-up contests to find worth as a woman. There is a reason that pro sports are not co-ed-- it simply wouldn't be a level playing field, we would get steamrolled in something like football. And yet, we can handle the pain of menstruation and childbirth in a way that most men probably could not. Wow that got long.. not sure if I actually answered your question, yikes. But I'd love to talk further if you want to pm me, and don't be discouraged-- I think what you are doing with neuroscience is awesome.
  9. Good Evening

    Hi, welcome Chloe! This is definitely the right place to come for encouragement and camaraderie. Definitely check out chat - it's a great way to meet people and hang out. People usually are hanging around in chat by 9 or 10 pm. (EST)
  10. The Bible & Wifely Submission

    ...tortured, beaten, stripped naked and hung until dead.... it's not Christlike... That's an understatement to say the least. I agree, there are a few sick men (and women) in this world who will use anything to justify their twisted behavior. It's horrible what those men did to their wives. If a husband is beating or raping his wife, call the police. If he has some creepy torture basement, call the police. If he is making verbal threats to cause his wife bodily harm, call the police. This is a given. Nobody is telling women they should handcuff themselves to a pole and submit to torture because their husband told them so. However, I find it highly problematic to use a demented fractional percentage of the population as a guideline for husbands in general. You went from "men are fallible" (yes, I agree) to "men who torture, strip, beat and murder their wives" (the vast majority of men do not do this). And in the cases where men DO behave this way, the authorities should be involved immediately. But that begs the question: should husbands still love their wives, even though women are fallible people who sometimes verbally abuse their husbands? I mean, maybe God only meant for a husband to love his wife when she is Christlike. If she isn't, then maybe the husband should not love or honor her. I think you made a salient point about trusting God. It's interesting how Sarah is praised in 1 Peter for obeying her husband -- we can probably agree that Abraham was a very fallible man. He had his wife pretend to be his single sister and put her in a potentially dangerous situation just to save his own skin. And yet she is called strong because she trusted in God enough to listen to her fallible, sinful husband. Husbands are also told to honor and be understanding of their wives. 1 Peter 3 ...5 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror. 7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.
  11. Greetings from Asia

    Hey KIP! It was awesome hanging out with you in chat. Belated welcome.
  12. Fictional Crush?

    Lol the only Cullen that I like is Cullen Bohannon from Hell on Wheels. Both him and his beard.
  13. The Bible & Wifely Submission

    I saw this interview with Candace Cameron, and I thought she had an interesting take on this subject of submission in marriage. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VyoeCnbe_TA
  14. The Bible & Wifely Submission

    What if: 1) A husband commands his wife to do something which violates her conscience? 2) A husband commands his wife to do something which violates God's law or any rights she has according to scripture? Yeah, because there are oodles of husbands out there commanding their wives to commit grand larceny, murder and jaywalking. Seriously though, why can't the husband and wife just work it out? If my husband is asking me to do something that I think goes against God's law, then I am going to appeal to him in a loving manner. "Honey, I love you and respect you, but I can't fudge our tax returns because I feel that would be dishonest. Can we figure out something? Maybe we can save money in other ways." I wouldn't want to have a judgmental or sanctimonious attitude toward my husband, or shriek at him. "You wicked, unspiritual man, how *dare* you tell me to do this thing!" As I am not married, I cannot know how I will handle situations I will potentially be faced with as a wife, but I would hope to honor God, and be loving and respectful to my husband, and to follow his leadership in our family. Honestly, the man I marry would have character of high caliber in the first place; therefore unless he was a total liar, he most likely would not insist on me committing an action I believed to be wrong. But I think the most important thing is whether or not I have an attitude that absolutely honors and respects the man my husband is, understanding that he is fallible like all humans, and that he is ultimately accountable to God for his actions, as am I.
  15. Finally, a safe haven...hopefully.

    Hi, welcome Joshua! This is definitely the right place to be encouraged and supported. Glad you found the site.