DHZ

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About DHZ

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  1. I really don't know how I'm going to find a girlfriend.... The church groups I'm going to are more active again, so I'm going to church or going to church events 3 times again now. The problem is seems like most the people that go to the groups are either guys or already have boyfriends or a husband. Any of the othe girls left I'm just not interested in, but even then it's only a small handful of girls to choose from. I work in the IT area so there really isn't any girl to chose from over there. I've tried Online dating multiple times but the girls don't even respond to me. I'm not even sure where I should go find more girls. I'm already attempting church, bible studies, game nights sponsored by the church, but nothing is working. I'm 30 now, so I'm just wondering if I'm just going be old and alone forever. Girls are just a extremely rare thing in my life so even if I was good with girls I wouldn't have many to chose from, but my skills with girls suck so I'm not getting anywhere but it seems even if I was good with girls I wouldn't have anything to choose from anyway. I'm really starting wonder how much hard feminism is making things. You don't need a man, just get a job just focus on your career there's nothing that can go wrong waiting till your 30s and screwing 30 different guys in the mean time.
  2. Will I ever find a girlfriend? Im dealing with problems 1-5,7,9-14,20-21. 2. Is mostly about wanting a good Christian woman, but it's been hard to find girls at chruch. 4. Is more about trying to save money for when I do get married, I can just move out and pay for a house mostly paid for. Now that think about this, how much this is actually linked to depression. Maybe if I get undepressed, it knock most of these out. https://www.luvze.com/reasons-you-cant-get-a-girlfriend/
  3. I'm having hard time trusting people, maybe that's what I have a hard time trusting people/getting a girlfriend? Like I was saying in another post, last Wednesday there was a sermon about suffering. Which kind of pissed me off since they were you saying that need friends to help you through those times. Which I don't have, and is the main reason for my suffering. I used to have friends or people I used to think were my friends. I was talking them about problems with girls too, but they were never really helping and even looking down on me saying that I'm not ready for a girlfriend yet. Eventually they got tired of trying to help me and they aren't my friends anymore. One of them was only my cousin. I don't know tried having other friends, but I never really felt like I belonged anywhere. Having friends for while but once the group or event ends, they go away. Even one time during this one church group where I starting to feel like it's safe to open up, I started opening up about my fear that I'll be alone forever and never get married. Then they were just yeah yeah we all deal with that. Being really dismissive of my fear. Really I even tried going to young adults paster about the problem and he wouldn't help me, though he did turn into a feminist and probably unfriended me on facebook for probably something stupid like, like the art of Force of Will. Something similar to that. Basically I've been dealing with rejection all my life so it's hard for someone like me to feel accepted. I mean there was another guy at my church that went through some dark depression where he didn't want to be around anyone, but he had this girls and other friends keep calling him and trying to reach out to him. But nobody is never like that with me. It seems like the concept of friends or a church family just pisses me off when hear about it, but that's never been my experience with people. In my experience, for most part they just don't give a crap. So it just pisses me off when I hear how friends are supposed to be there for you. Really it seems like God is bring this to my attention so I can deal with it, but I just don't know how to deal with it. The fear being alone forever and just not feeling accepted in general.
  4. Just something I'm wondering, especially it seems like when she's talking about incels it sounds like she's talking about me except for the fact that I'm waiting till marriage. Of course when you've had the luck I've had with girls, you really can't call it a choice. I know this video contains hate facts and swearing, but it seems important to listen to. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MoqOm_EVR_g&t=1581s
  5. I don't know it just seems like normal church services aren't that helpful for me to meet or talk to girls. Usually with game nights I'm able to be a lot more of my self. It just seems like nobody notices me when it comes to normal church services, even in fairly small young adult groups. Really even more casual bible studies would be fairly helpful. With the way things are right now, the girls just pretty much ignore me. I mean, I'm working at job talking to people of over the phone to hopefully help with the social anxiety, but it seems like it's not having any effect to real life people. I'm really not sure what I'm doing wrong. I don't want to end up alone. Also since I'm looking for a Christian girl, I really can't just go some random game night. But also since I don't really have any church friends, I wouldn't know if one is going on or if one could be started.
  6. Would a girl want a guy that's almost 30 that still lives at home with his parents if he's saving money for a house? Basically, I'm still living at home. But I have a full time job, and should hopefully have a programming job sometime this year. But I don't see the point of renting an apartment when I could use be using that money to save for a house (I still am paying my parents some rent, just not as much as I would be for a apartment.) But I'm looking for a girl that I can marry, not someone just to goto bed with. at least in my mind, it makes more sense save money now then when I get married find a house so I'll have less to worry about after I get married and hopefully have a house that's mostly or fully paid off.
  7. She doesn't have to be, it just make it more likely that she'll be a virgin, and not a single mother. I wouldn't mind being with a girl 3 years younger than me.
  8. Is what I'm looking for reasonable in a girl? I'm looking for a is nice Christian girl that's still a virgin, in her early 20s, and waiting till marriage. I mean, I'm not looking for a something like a super model, but still a average attractive girl. But, I'm almost 30 and haven't had any luck with girls. I'm just looking for a good girl that I can eventually marry and have kids with.
  9. I'm going to have to give away my two kittens thanks to my dad's allergies.
  10. I mean, yeah I fairly shy. But even when I do talk to girls they aren't interested at all. They really don't go up and say hi to me and ask how I'm doing. Even when I talk to them, they just give me one word answers and they aren't curious about me at all even when I ask girls about themselves. I'm really not sure what I'm doing wrong. They really don't show any signs of liking me or really even wanting to be friends with me. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong. It just seems like I'll be alone forever... I mean just being able to have friends that a girl would probably help me out a lot, and I really can't even get that. Even when I have good talkative night for some reason, the next time see someone it goes right back to nothing happening. I mean a few weeks ago, I got to talk to a for about 15-30 min alone, now it's like nothing happened and she doesn't want to talk to me, maybe even avoiding me. I'm really just not sure what I'm doing wrong. I also tried talking to a guy tonight or rather he wanted to talk to me and I talked to him awhile. But I felt absolutely nothing afterwards. I really think that most people don't care and just talk to me nice. Which is pretty hard for me since I believe that relationships are the purpose of life, so this is kinda killing me.
  11. I've been depressed for long time, and right now it seems to be getting to worse. I mean, I finished college a few months ago and now I'm having problems finding a programming job. I'm not even getting any calls for a interviews. So right now I only have part time job that I hate pushing carts for only 2-3 days a weeks. I really don't even have any motivation right now to look for a job or work on a new skill lately. I really don't have any real life friends that I can really talk to about anything. I rarely get touch like hugs or holding hands or any of the small contact that people really need. Which especially a problem since touch is my strongest love language. Really the last time I got a hug from non family was 7 months. I've never had a girlfriend. I'm on meds for the depression, but they don't seem to be helping me. I don't know, things really don't seem to be improving lately. I've been going to psychologists for years and it really hasn't seemed to be too helpful for me. Really it's mostly been CBT, but I thinking of something more like what's caused pain and rejection in the past and see if I could get healing that way. Though really I won't be able to see a psychologist till next year since I've already used all my visits for this year...
  12. Someone to go though life with is the main reason I'm looking for a girlfriend/wife. I'm actually starting to get to the point where I want to have kids. But yeah, the main reason I come off so obsessively about this is because of the that I've never had a girlfriend or even kissed a girl, AND I doubt the fact that I could ever get one.
  13. I'm really starting to think it's impossible for me to a girlfriend. I'm almost at the point of giving up looking.