Peter

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About Peter

  • Rank
    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 06/04/1994

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  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Denmark
  • Interests
    Medieval stuff, Cars(well... driving them), Audiobooks, Harry Potter, Robots, Space, Technology, Mechanics, Electronics, Nature, Hiking, Roadtrips, Video-games, Music, Movies, Animals (especially cats), Jesus, Helping others

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    Kattejuice

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  1. You're welcome Cleary, this is something important to you, and therefore something I think you should tell her. Not nessearily immediately, but when you feel the mood and time is just right. Preferably something you should do face to face -- body language plays a huge part. It's prooobably also not something for a first date, so if you haven't met yet it should definitely not be the first thing you talk about. Then again it might actually be a good time depending on the settings and mood etc. After all its not an interrogation, it's you opening up something that concerns you deeply. If you haven't checked them already theres a few old threads dating/marrying non-virgins on this forum that are probably worth reading as well btw.
  2. I totally get your problem. The edit summarized it well btw. One thing you could do that might make up your mind, is to open up to her completely and explain your situation and your feelings about this. On a side note: Generally I find this to be a good solution to many, especially emotional, issues. It works best if your core values are principal, not attached to any material, people etc, otherwise opening up like that can be devastating e.g. Someones core value being acceptance by an individual, getting rejected could be the end of his world. Not referring to anyone, just an idea of what I'm referring to regarding core values etc. I guess it would be easier to just recommend my source book "seven habits of highly effective people" Anyway, you should start by saying that you have something on your heart that you need to talk to her about. Then open up. The point is that seeing someone genuinely exposed makes people genuinely listen and even opening up themselves. You're likely to at least get her point of view on this whole situation. How she responds is up to her, and will hopefully give you the answer you need to decide. Whether it means it's time to move on, or see through her past. Of course, it's just an option on how to tackle the issue. And a tough way to do it too, I'd say. But I believe it will be effective regardless of the outcome. On another note, as Vincent said, her not having any remorse on the matter is a red-flag. Then again, I wouldn't call it at that unless she gets a chance to open up and explain herself... Basically one of the many things you might learn when opening up to each other. Again, an option, a scary one probably, but consider it.
  3. Hi I am so glad I found this website!

    That was quite an introduction, well done and welcome!
  4. hey

    Welcome!
  5. New member

    Welcome, Rollygrant!
  6. Hi Everyone

    My greetings, welcome!
  7. Well, Aj, you're neither being unreasonable nor alone about that as you explain. Good on you the fact that you are getting it off your chest and reaching for help. Unfortunately for you I cannot offer a lot more than encouraging words ad I have little to no experience to pasz on. Still don't forget that maybe your concerns are legitimate, and as hard as it seems the option of moving on is also a possibility. What confuses me the most is why she would experiment like that with someone she doesn't even like? But take that with a grain of salt. Again, I do not know enough about the topic... On a final note regarding the "one and only one forever" you seek, waiting till marriage is the best way of ensuring exactly that.
  8. I need advice

    I cannot offer a lot of help as I know very little on the topic. However, regarding emotional stability I can highly recommend "7 habits of highly effective people". In short its a very effective book dealing with inward and outward relationships. Helped me, maybe it can be useful for you too.
  9. Very inspiring movies

    I just saw "Wonder" and it was really wonderful. If anyone needs some real feels in a movie, a laugh, a sob and food for thought, I highly, highly, recommend it.
  10. I feel you bro... In fact it happened to me for the same reason. My dad is allergic too.
  11. Speedy Evaluations

    Good topic! Tough though... Right off the bat I've found examples of people who I assumed were idiots based on their outward behavior. Allow me to tell a story. He was highly competitive, pressing, also a sore loser etc.. I was not alone with this impression. Later, on a road trip with a large group of friends we were riding in two cars, and at one point on that journey I was riding with the guy I mentioned above. It was his car. Late at night still driving we wanted to pull over to stargaze for a while. When he found a good place to pull over he did so... Except it wasnt a good place to pull over. What looked like a wide stretch of grass between the road and a field was in fact very narrow and had a concrete tube to channel water under it. When pulling over we went straight into the ditch and the front his car hit the tube. We were able to get the car free by everyone getting out and pushing. But the mood was ruined. Being the guy who knew the most about cars I inspected the damage and gave my advice accordingly. I was concerned whether the radiator had been punctured. I saw some liquid dripping so that made it worse. It didn't smell like coolant though. The following day we did some more thorough inspections in the daylight and I got under the car etc. Long story short the frame of the car (and the radiator) now had a dent, the front bumper was damaged and a wire had been ripped which triggered the check engine light, but the radiator was not leaking. The liquid was condensation from the AC. With my leatherman and some ducttape I was able to fix the wire and a quick visit talking to a mechanic we had our theories confirmed and the error codes reset for free! Well, enough backstory... The point is that the whole experience got me to know the guy from a different perspective, and he's really a great guy. Just not good at letting that shine through when in crowds. Social expectations I guess. Gotta look tough, gotta act smart, gotta drink and gotta have all the sex. Etc. Well, apart from a friend I also got another lesson in not to judge people on first impressions. That said, first impressions are important. Firstly visually; Look like a bum, smell like a bum? To my knowledge you probably are a bum. Handshake I agree with you, bearded one. Most striking is the outward attitude of the individual, and how they speak. Acting smart etc. Using swear words etc. Then finally how they treat others. Especially, how they treat strangers. After all, even bandits are kind amongst themselves. Most importantly though I have to remind myself that you gotta really get to know the person to know them, and that the first impressions are really just that... "First" impressions.
  12. Haha, good one at that dungeon! For me, one of the rooms would be a garrage/workshop/mancave for me to unleash my mad inventions - or just spend an evening working on the car... Or crack a cold one (glass of milk more likely) with the boys. Not sure about the other room. I could fancy a home theater but only in the lack of a definite choice. Or perhaps a classy gentleman's room with couch chairs and an open fireplace to sit around.
  13. Melancholy Music

  14. Is Morality Subjective?

    Allow me to correct a mistake that I realized in my sentence. It ends abrupt, but I meant to end it with pointing out that this case doesn't make sense. Either there is a morality, in which case we cannot decide it. Or there is none, in which case it does not make sense to call anything wrong or right. It is like trying to determine who is closest to point A, without having determined where point A is (or if it even exists).
  15. Melancholy Music

    Got loads, but I'll just submit one for now