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Posts posted by RhodeRunner

  1. 1) Kind of. I have very small hands, so I imagine anything large could be annoying.

    2) I would not mind.

    3) Nope. I would rather not wear anything, until we married.

    A little silly, but my grandfather proposed to my grandmother with a ring from a bubble gum machine. :). He bought her a real ring years later, after they where married.

    3 people like this

  2. I am currently courting (We met online). I had no idea, how I would meet someone. Would it be through work, volunteering, religious gatherings, bumping into each other while accessing prices of tomato sauce, or? Who knows? What I did know however, was the way that I would enter a courtship...and that involved family and friends.

    What do I think of the method you mentioned? I think it is like most. Good is ways, but it doesn't guarantee success, or even that the two people remain virgins. I've heard and know of people in these situations hooking up privately, or marrying an abusive person. My family has done a lot of this type of courtship, and some people are happy, some are content, some are miserable, and others are divorced.

    3 people like this

  3. There was an old man sitting on his porch watching the rain fall. Pretty soon the water was coming over the porch and into the house.

    The old man was still sitting there when a rescue boat came and the people on board said, “You can’t stay here you have to come with us.â€

    The old man replied, “No, God will save me.†So the boat left. A little while later the water was up to the second floor, and another rescue boat came,  and again told the old man he had to come with them.

    The old man again replied, “God will save me.†So the boat left him again.

    An hour later the water was up to the roof and a third rescue boat approached the old man, and tried to get him to come with them.

    Again the old man refused to leave stating that, “God will save him.† So the boat left him again.

    Soon after, the man drowns and goes to heaven, and when he sees God he asks him, “Why didn’t you save me?â€

    God replied, “You dummy! I tried. I sent three boats after you!!â€

    I always liked that joke :). God can't do all the work for us, we have to dig in and do it too. But, we can still thank God for his beautiful world and people.

    6 people like this

  4. If he is smiling, continuing communication and still taking you out on dates, then he is interested. Complements, flirting and touch are not things that everyone is comfortable with on a immediate basis. If you like him, give him time. My boyfriend and I didn't hug until we had been dating for four months, and we didn't start flirting and complementing each other tilll later when we had developed an emotional attachment. Things are different for everyone.

    It may be difficult, but it does tend to ease things up a bit, once comfort/physical boundries are discussed on a basic level.

    6 people like this

  5. Sounds like it is simply your manner of speach. If it is any consolation, I've been in this situation with several guys and never thought they where a creep... but, I did leave them alone as they seemed so uneasy with me around. I never thought about how they felt after I stopped talking to them, I suppose you have it rough on both ends.

    If this is such a difficult task for you, perhaps it is best if you don't speak for awhile. You may find it better to write to someone of interest for a bit instead. My cousin did this with his future wife (whom he met at church... he did not ask her directly he spoke to one of her family members) as he was to shy to write and court her at the time. My sister who was super shy, did the same thing with her husband (whom she met online) and communicated via email, then by phone, and then in person. Sure, all these people where a bit nervious to meet each other for the first few times, but they knew that, and they where invested in each other by their letters.

    2 people like this

  6. My boyfriend plays video games. I don't play any, except the wii on occasion with the family. He also hasn't picked up knitting. I don't give it much thought (hot or not), it just is what it is.

    We both play board and card games, which is definitely important to me.

    2 people like this

  7. I can think of three reasons.

    One is that they simply have nothing to add to the conversation. Not all women are the same, but I have rarely been moved by attraction. It is a common interest that motivates me to speak to someone. I grow to like them, through conversation and doing things together... and I have found dating follows this pattern too. If you speak of things the individual has no interest in, than the conversation may not last long.

    Two, it isn't comfortable to speak to you. This doesn't mean that girls "think" you are a creep, just they they aren't comfortable. Perhaps, they find you attractive? Or, perhaps you are not confident when speak to them? If you don't seem or feel comfortable, then don't be surprised it someone reciprocates. It isn't easy to talk to someone whom is blushing, speed talking, or tripping over their words.

    Third, they are not emotionally available and don't want to be a tease. Some girls are a bit short while talking to a guy that they think may be attracted to them, because they don't want them to think it is a possibility. This could be lack of interest, or because their interest lies elsewhere, but often it isn't personal.

    2 people like this

  8. Yes, I do. I consider weddings to be very important, as does my family. They are a union that doesn't just involve two people and the state, but also their family, friends, and God.

    I was raised with the more people and food... the merrier. But, that doesn't mean one has to blow a bunch of money. My sister had an outdoor wedding with sandwiches, lemonade, cookies and cake, lawn games and picnic tables. We also made most of the bridal clothes ourself. It was a lot cheaper than a catered $50.00/plate meal, and the guests had a great time.

    4 people like this

  9. First, she is disrespecting your friend's feelings, comfort and requests. That is enough to drive a relationship into the ground.

    Second, these men are not friends. You do not sit on a friend's lap, or flirt with them. She is seeking male attention, in a flirtatious manner too! The fact that she refuses to have female friends is also just terrifying. She can have a higher ratio of male friends, but women need women and she shouldn't cut herself off from them.

    I agree, women can flirt with other men and not cheat on their partner. But, I do consider it extremely disrespectful. One of my married friends does this, and it drives her husband crazy. So, be sure to tell your friend that this will not change... even after marriage.

    Also, I have to question the communication and general respect these two have for each other, both of which are key to a successful relationship. There is a lot more to dating than "Attraction". Is she telling him ahead of time that she is gathering with friends, or is he personally finding this? Many people say, "That one shouldn't be expected to report to their significant other." And while you do not have to tell your partner that you snuck a cookie, telling them where you are and with whom is of utmost importance.

    My boyfriend and I both have friends of the opposite gender. We don't say no to the other person's friendship. But, we do tell each other about it, and usually we invite the other person to come along to any planned gathering. When together, there is no flirting, just enjoying the good company.

    5 people like this

  10. I always knew that I wanted to marry and have children. The urge to have children gets stronger with age, but it certainly isn't a new concept. Maybe as you mature your opinion will change, maybe not. Either way, I wouldn't suggest having children, unless you and your partner have firmly decided that you want them.

  11. I think people look into texts and emails a little to deeply. It is difficult enough to drawl a conclusion over a few sentences. So, I don't suggest tying yourself into a knot. Not all texts get answered and not all do get answers quickly, for a multitude of reasons. It doesn't mean she is interested, it doesn't mean that she isn't.

    You are excited and your thoughts and disapointment are completely natural. You are not over-reacting unless you constantly message her, or hassle her about not responding.

    4 people like this

  12. If I didn't live with/near my family, I would have opted to meet somewhere public for awhile into dating someone. But, I certainly would prefer to cook. I enjoy cooking, and consider it healthier, more cost effective, family friendly and it is one of those things that I would naturally do. Growing up, going out to eat was a rare treat and I still think of it in such a manner.

    That being said, I can't complain when my boyfriend decides to cook, or wants to take me out. (He likes to take me to try foods I've never eaten before.) It can be super nice to have a break, as well as fun.

    3 people like this

  13. Confident, eye contact, good comunication skills, are certainly not going to be a turn off for a virgin woman. Establishing some physical confidence (particuarly, right away) as well as flirting could be! Really, if you don't want her to think your a player, take her seriously!

    My boyfriend and I started courting by hanging out with friends and attending family events. We didn't flirt (we do now, but not right away) we didn't have physical contact (not even a hug) for months, and we spoke of very real things that we wanted out of life as well as personal morals/religious views. Everything varies by individual of course, just communicate and you will find out what works best for you two.

    4 people like this

  14. Everything occurs for multiple reasons, but I think much of this has to do with the fact that we can indeed divorce if we want, and we will not be social outcasts if we do.

    Awful marriages have existed much longer then divorce (woman being able to file in particular) in our country. Assuming our great grandparents where in love because they did not divorce is simply not true. I was fortunate to meet most of my great-grandparents, and two of the four couples did not love each other! One was happily married, the other was contently married, one was in an abusive relationship, and the other couple had cheated on each other and fell out of love. Doesn't sounds very different from today's statistics, but none of them divorced. It simply wasn't done.

    In my grandparents generation, divorce came to be.. There where only two divorces in my family (very large family) and both women had physically abusive alcoholic husbands, and left as soon as divorce was legal. That doesn't mean that everyone else in my family was in a happy relationship. But, divorce was new, and they simply thought people should stay together unless there was an extreme problem.

    Today, that is not the case. People leave if they are unhappy, and society sees nothing wrong with it! I think part of the problem with this isn't actually their partner, but because many people never learn how to be happy to begin with, and "think" that their partner is responsible for how happy they are, or are not.

    3 people like this

  15. Yes. I am actually courting a very nice young man, that is not a virgin. It didn't bother me much, considering that his current views where not pushing premarital sex, he had only been with one other person and at the time thought love was enough, and that he was courting with the intention of marriage and children.

    That being said, my sister and friend both waited till marriage. Neither married virgins and are happily married.