nieogar

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About nieogar

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  1. Doesn't matter. A girl who waits till marriage is incomparably more beautiful then the one who has already lost the priceless treasure, even if the latter is Miss World, Universe etc.
  2. Subjectively speaking it feels different to everyone and how people view it is strongly related to the degree of understanding influenced by many factors e.g. culture, religion, local environment, intelligence etc., but objectively speaking it's not just about virginity but what is related to it: giving something to this significant other that has never been given to anyone else - entire self. That is the most beautiful and priceless gift one can give and/or receive.
  3. The beauty of a couple who prays together

    Hey waitingforcarats, I thought I could share some thoughts with you. I know many good, pretty Christian girls who would like to be together with me, but somehow I "ended up" in a relationship with a girl who didn't know and still doesn't know much about God. Prayers, Bible readings and sermons I hear "inspire" or advise me to see it in a different perspective. I somehow see myself as a way by which God want's to come and be recognized by His beloved daughter. Yesterday I heard a beautiful sermon about Angels. They are incomparably powerful creatures: holy, intelligent and wise, and they are always in the presence of God. And God commands them to help us, guard us and guide us, so we who are so poor creatures could come to the fullness of life with God, and they are always eager to do God's Will. So what I want to say is that even if we are sinful, not so powerful but just because we have little bit more faith than the others we could serve God and those people by bringing them together. They are like those lost sheep and we are there to serve.
  4. The beauty of a couple who prays together

    I can't imagine to be in a serious relationship and not to pray together. My gf is a native pagan but interested in Christianity and we sometimes pray together. It is really nice and I think that brings relationship to much higher level. BTW I don't force her to anything of course
  5. There is so many wrongs in this topic that I would need to spend too much time referring to everything. Perhaps I will say more in the near future but now I just want to make somethings clear. 1. Sex binds all aspects of human life together. People who do it bind strongly: physically, chemically, biologically, emotionally, psychologically, spiritually. And even when people don't know the scientific terms and facts they usually know that it is something more than "holding hands". 2. That is why there is no such thing as being a virgin in some other areas. 3. When making a decision don't believe in some fairy tales and loads of talks and elaborations which will blur the truth. Everything you think about losing virginity is true and knowing that make decision, ask yourself: do I want it, can I accept it. Cause talking about it like nothing happened is lying to yourself and the relationship is then based on a lie. Make a clear cut and say yes or no. I am personally in this situation right now and falling from "propose" to "finish relationship". It has nothing to do with forgiveness and I will say more about it later when I have time cause I see many people delude themselves instead of bear the reality.
  6. Hi! virgin newbie here

    Hey! I am so glad of the "happy ending" of your introduction. You know how to "build tension". I was like "please don't say you did it, please don't say you did it" and then "all right!"
  7. Let's talk about Jesus and waiting.

    Actually the Bible, christian teaching, examples of holy men and women and simple human experience shows that importance of it is not just a mere delusion. I don't wish to marry a virgin for religious reasons, but because it feels right on many levels. And I believe it feels right cause that is how it should work if there is no sin. Two people should belong to each other only and we can find confirmation and explanation why in the Bible. So it's not like a warrant, it's how we were intended. Of course I believe that with Jesus' grace it is possible to overcome every obstacle.
  8. Am I virgin or not?

    As for me and some of my friends a girl is a virgin if she didn't have intentional sexual intercourse. By intentional I mean she wanted and did it. So in this terms, I apologize for example, raped girl would still be a virgin. If she had some other sexual activities it gets complicated. I don't know about guys but if I had experiences like you I think I wouldn't consider myself a virgin, but I am not sure.
  9. Hey Yall!

    Glad to see you here!
  10. Hey voulaki726, I totally feel for you and Noga. I see many people struggling with those feelings. I am in similar situation. I have a girlfriend who unfortunately had sex with her ex-boyfriend. We are together almost 10 months and I know about that problem for more than 8 months. Like you, first 2 months were the worst. After that there were ups and downs and recently I thought I can not handle feelings of confusion or gloom but after emotional conversation we decided to try little bit more. I know I could marry her and be happy and that those feelings will always be there. Not that strong though. What you feel is what you feel. Feelings don't need justification but in this case I think they express the reality. When people get married they give themselves completely one to another hence those feelings are "tears of soul" cause sex (especially the first) is a special gift and once lost can never be restored. What you feel is not everything. You will never be as close as if both of you were virgins. You might be very close, super close but there always will be at least some bit missing. I understand that and I try to accept, some people can't handle this and many will disagree but if you think and look closely you will see it's true. Because of the above I strongly oppose calling what we feel as "jealousy". Being jealous is something very different in my opinion. You feel jealous for something that doesn't belong to you, but as stated above people who get married give everything to the other person so we feel this sadness, pain and other feelings because someone else was using what is (or might be) ours. Also because of that I don't like what Queen did here. All her comments to the issues you mentioned blur the problem. 1. Of course sex with new person is somehow special or with someone who is loved it is very, very special but it's absolutely special only if you are the only one. 2. Example with non-virgins getting married and feel confused too because of "experience" differences only confirms that it would be the best for them to wait until marriage too. 3. Obviously you weren't there when they had sex and our partners didn't even imagine they will meet us, cause otherwise that would be intentional cheating, which is terrible and I wouldn't wish that to happen even to my worst enemies. But still, if you take into account what marriage is, this actually is somehow cheating. NOT INTENTIONAL, unaware and thoughtless naturally.
  11. Higher education...

    Totally agree with Amarillo. My girlfriend is an artist, doesn't have a degree but I know she is smart and that she could do it if she wanted to. I have a degree in engineering so I know those girls who study at the university are no better than other girls. They just had to waste many days and nights to look up information and memorize stuff they will never need. For me that is one of the last things I would pay attention to.
  12. getting a "non waiter[a guy]" to wait?

    I think everything was said already but in present "anti-culture" we need to keep saying it. IMO if someone can't wait it means he is not worth your time. There is sooooo many guys out there looking for a girl like you. Lowering youtr standards would be a great and unnecessary loss.
  13. Hello from Poland

    I am 27 y.o guy-waiter from Poland. I came across this site while struggling with "the past" of my girlfriend and I find it very helpful and valuable. I already read a bunch of articles and am going to read all of them. It's really encouraging that there is so many people out there sharing the same moral standards and viewing sex in that special way which it deserves. Based on what I've read so far I can tell that there is still long way for me to fully (if possible) accept what happened. I thought that maybe I will be able to contribute a little to this great cause. What I've learned so far while seeking "help" on the internet is that sex really is (not just by religion or culture standards) unique, special, life bounding act and it needs to be treated that way with great reverence. Although everywhere sex is treated like a casual thing, it's not. And I think that it is especially confirmed by all the people who are non-waiters, who go into casual sex and still feel this "mystical" pain when they find out about sexual past of their beloved ones. They try to talk it out, ignore the pain, deal with it, but at the end of the day the truth is that something is shattered and it is impossible to get it back. So the deal is to learn to live with that loss, not to say it's normal.I think it's important to tell people about it, because it's not problem of 1 or 2 people. It actually goes further but maybe that's enough for an introduction