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Everything posted by WaitingForSuperman

  1. Someone asked me this question recently: If you met someone of the opposite sex that was EXACTLY like you, could you be together? Why or why not?
  2. Would You Marry Someone Exactly Like You?

    I think it's possible for a guy to be just like his wife (or have a female counterpart) without being gay, though I did admit, if there were a guy EXACTLY like me, he'd have to be gay, because I'm just a gay man trapped in a woman's body! LOL. I actually have met "the male me" (or he was according to some people that knew us both), and I found him and his personality to be intolerable. I could certainly see how people saw similiarities in us (based on our beliefs and upbringing), but fundamentally as people, we were different in ways that outsiders just couldn't see. That "male me" wasn't gay, but he also wasn't looking for a woman like me either. I'd imagine, outside of aesthetics, nothing about my personality and life aspirations appealed to him either.
  3. Would You Marry Someone Exactly Like You?

    Yeah, 4 out of 5 aint bad, right?! LOL. Vroom...vroom!
  4. Would You Marry Someone Exactly Like You?

    In theory, this sounds great, but in reality, I couldn't marry someone EXACTLY like me, because a guy EXACTLY like me would have to be gay as a barrel of glitter! LOL. I need someone to balance me out, and someone like me would be too much "ON" in one relationship!
  5. Guys, who pays?

    Yes, it sounds macho...and kinda sexy! LOL. #WellDone
  6. Guys, who pays?

    I have no problem letting the man pay for the entirety of the meal, and also no problem letting him know concretely that there's "nothing else" on the night's menu afterwards. I've never felt like there's a "gray area" here, though I've known lots of women that tend to end up here. I think men should pay for the meal on romantic dates, and I don't think it makes me a "user" as a woman to think this way. I travel a lot and take meals away from home a lot and within the context of business meetings, so picking up the check isn't that big of a deal personally, but romantically, when you're trying to "woo" me, it's one of the few things that I man can do early on to get my attention. No matter how much money I make or how successful I become, I don't think I'm ever going to pick up the tab for a man I'm romantically interested in, because doing so automatically makes him a non-viable candidate. I can pick up the tab for meals for friends and family, no problem; It's a Blessing to be able to afford to do so, but if a guy wants to show that he's worthy of being a respectable mate, that might one day become my husband, he needs to take charge here.
  7. Guys, who pays?

    Thank you so much for your stance on this! It's exactly why I ALWAYS let men pay! LOL. If I'm going on a date with a man, I expect him to pay, and I generally don't have these types of discussions (outside of the internet), because everyone seems to be okay with this arrangement. I can afford to pay for my own meal (and yours too, if that were pertinent), but I feel, when the check comes, it's a man's time to "show and prove" what he's all about. When I go out with friends, we occasionally "go dutch" or I pick up the check, and that's perfectly fine. But if you're going to be a man, and lead a family and a household, then it starts, in my opinion, on Day 1, on the first date!
  8. hey!

  9. Trying to Better Understand Theism and Religion

    And herein lies the rub: Yes, there's that "downside" of having guilt and feeling "out of control" when it comes to things surrounding your life and well-being, but then, there's the absolute releasing of responsibility when things go wrong! Ever heard the phrase: "The Devil made me do it"? I realized very early on that this is a very interesting "side effect" to when you place all your faith and hope and future in an unknown ethereal entity: When you need to absolve yourself from having done something horrible, it's there. AND, because this concept of "Good vs. Evil"/"God vs. The Devil" is something that most folks can relate to, a lot more are likely to buy it.
  10. Greetings and Salutations Everyone!

    I know I'm late replying here, but thanks!
  11. Greetings and Salutations Everyone!

    I never know how to introduce myself in online forums! In person, it comes pretty easy to me, as I can often read the room and people's facial expressions, but online, it's more difficult, because even if I read through some of the topics and get a feel for other community members, there's still a "gray area" of just not knowing what to expect. But here goes... Choosing a username is one of those things I tend to over think, so keeping with that tradition, here's an explanation for "WaitingForSuperman": I chose this name because I wanted a username that reflected my quirky personality and served as an homage to why I joined this site. It's also a clever play on a very interesting movie with the same name.Ok, I think I expected myself to type more, but that's all I've got. I believe I expended all of my creative energy this morning working on this "Superman" avatar! Sorry, but: HELLO ALL!
  12. How In The World Do Both A Man and Woman Virgins Meet Their Match??

    It seems like traditionally, a lot of men and women virgins are meeting through their church in their early teens/20s, so you may find a particular set of challenges as you're 30+. I think you might want to consider looking at your local church (if you're extremely religious, which it seems you are), and if that doesn't work for you, branch out into similar churches in nearby communities. I know the internet's here to make our lives easier and such, but I wouldn't bet all my chips here. Good luck in your search though, and welcome to the forum!
  13. Trying to Better Understand Theism and Religion

    I think this might be because you don't seem to have been chiefly introduced to the idea to see everything as being "from God" to begin with. Since my automatic mindset is "God-first", that's where I'd initially interpret any thoughts I'm having, especially if it's in regards to things I've never experienced before. Sometimes I've wished I could have been raised an atheist or agnostic, because I've always been curious what it's like to have an understanding of things WITHOUT the "cloud of God" surrounding everything. Even as I now stand in my own disbelief about some things, that "cloud" is still there, as I know (according to what I've been told), if I were to die, feeling like I feel right now, I'll burn in hell. I suppose, if I never knew there was such a thing as "God", I probably never would ascribe those feelings/beliefs to that entity. But since I've known that, and at least at one point believed it in, that's what "God" is for me, if that makes sense. I'll share some of my experiences with you via PM.
  14. There used to be a dating site for virgins, I believe it was called "WeWaited", but I think it's now defunct. I also think there used to be other iterations of the idea on other sites, or "Virgin Only" sections of major dating websites, but I don't think they went over all that well. I know one of the problems was people "preying on" virgins and lying to get closer to them (for whatever reasons). I can also say, as you get older, there's more stigma behind being a virgin, so I don't know there's a lot of people that would want their name/face juxtaposed to knowing they've a virgin (especially for the guys) on The Web. I think, in theory, this is a great idea (just like this site and forum is), but in practice, a virgin dating could become a cumbersome chore. Also, I don't know from a marketing perspective if there's enough of a niche market potential here to make this a viable business opportunity for someone to take.
  15. Trying to Better Understand Theism and Religion

    It's funny you should ask these questions, and that I would happen to come across this thread, given what I'm going through right now (which ironically relates to this topic). From what you've described, I kind of feel like the "Anti You", in the sense that I've been raised in a uber-religious setting with very little exposure to other religions and cultures that didn't come of my own behest. I believed fervently what I was told because I was told it, and trusted the people that told it to me, until I got to a certain age and could think and reason for myself. As I aged, I found there were too many unanswered questions, and questions who's only answer could be "you have to have faith and believe" for me to really take the belief system I was indoctrinated with any further. I've struggled for years with what this actually means, as believing so, and sharing it publicly, would make me an outcast in the community I was raised in. All this being said, I do think I can provide some insight into the questions you've posed, so I'll do my best to answer them, and hope you'll forgive me, since it's been so long since you first posted this topic. If you believe in any deity or deities at all: why do you?I'm not really sure if I believe, or I guess I should say, I'm not really sure I don't believe. I think I'm in my "Doubting Thomas" phase of religious belief, where if God exists, he needs to show himself to me in very real ways that can't be easily attributed to "happenstance" or "coincidence". I don't consider myself and "atheist" or "agnostic" though. So to answer your question: I believe there's something else out there (despite having no idea what it is), and the reason I believe it, is because I just don't have any concrete proof not to. I've seen things and had life experiences that can't be explained away with "logic", and it's those things that keep me from chucking the idea of "God" altogether. How do you sense that he/she/they exist?It feels like the height of human hubris to think there's nothing else out there besides ourselves in the world. Some things just can't be explained in nature nor through logic, and I think at those times, that's where God comes in. I can also accept that at those same times, someone else might call that "magic" or "serendipity". What does it mean when you say you hear them/talk to them/have a relationship with them?For me, it's like a little voice in my head or instinctive thing that tells me something is right or wrong, or what I should or shouldn't do, based on what it is I know about any given situation. Most times, when things are really hectic for me, I fast and try to get to a quiet place and just "be". When my mind clears from whatever it is that's presently stressing me, I can usually see clearly what I need to do. I also get these "fits of inspiration" while coming out of the shower, or when waking the morning after a particularly stressful day, after I've gone to sleep with a quandary on my mind. Why do you think your religion (and your particular denomination of that faith, if applicable), is correct?I lost this battle with the zealots of my religion, as I don't believe in the proselytizing nature of it. There's too many questions and not enough evidence to support one religion over the other to be so sternly convinced that only your way is the right way! In fact, I think of this whole "warring religions" thing is a real life example of the "Tower of Babel", where everyone's probably saying the same thing, but no one can hear it, because they're all speaking different languages to one another! If you believe that your scriptures are inerrant: why is that?I don't believe this, but of the people that I know who do, they believe it because the Bible tells them so. If you believe in scriptures over secular science and history: why?Scriptures are nice and entertaining, but when people believe them over secular science and history, they're doing so because their faith demands that they do so. There comes a point where, in order for you to prove that you are "a Person of Faith", you have to simply accept and take things on faith, which usually leads to things like believing that God is infallible and His Scriptures are true and you should live by them. If you believe that your scriptures are fallible: how do you decide what is absolute truth, and what is just a story?From my experience, most people simply pick and choose what parts of the Scriptures they like and run with it! That's why some women cut their hair and wear pants, and some men masturbate and "waste their seed", and don't think twice of the "wrong" they're doing. I've often found that people won't even admit to their "picky-choosey-ism", but instead will bow their head and say they aren't perfect and "God forgives them of their indiscretions". If you seek to reconcile scriptures and science/history: how do you?Very few people believe what they believe so strongly that they're willing to die for it. That's why very few will reject cancer treatments and only opt for PRAYER when they've been given a cancer diagnosis. I use this as an example to answer your question because I think it illustrates how people can easily reconcile Scriptures and science/history, when doing so benefits them personally in some way. Do you ever think something your scripture claims was caused/endorsed by your deity was just plain wrong? If so, how do you deal with that?I guess since I don't take The Scriptures to be the literal word of God, I can't really answer this. It would seem that answering this would pretty much be saying that God is fallible. I think a better question here might be whether or not one believes that someone who may have been responsible for authorship or publishing of those Scriptures claimed/endorsed something wrong? And if that were the case, I'd have to say a resounding YES, but since it wasn't the question, I'll just end this here, and hope I at least answered SOME of your questions to your satisfaction.
  16. How do you feel about tattoos?

    I don't like tattoos. Never have. I know they started as a whole "counterculture" thing with "outlaw" ethos, but these days it seems like many people are getting them because they're a fad, and doing what's "cool". I realize that taking this position makes me unpopular, but I'm okay with that. Whenever I see a man without tattoos or earrings, I can admit I respect him more for not being "faddish". I guess, in hindsight, this probably keeps with the whole "old-fashioned" thing I'm often accused of being. LOL.
  17. Adriana Lima's divorce and the waiting

    Great point on the comparable values things. It's really important, especially when you have an ideological belief system that guides you.
  18. My first thought was: "It's Harvard. A lot of smart kids spending all their time studying to compete with one another probably means less sex all around"! LOL. I'd be curious what a study like this would look like at say Brigham Young or Arizona State? I'd also like to know the profile of the students with numbers for males vs. females. I recently used Slate's "Sex History Calculator" see where I stack up against my peers (of course, I went through many of the age groups and also compared gender) and found all the numbers facinating!
  19. You're not hopeless. I can relate to both your educational and professional aspirations, as well as your maturation in faith. I've long since left "the traditional Church" and I often find I have a hard time finding Christians that are accepting of my views on God, faith, and spirituality. For the betterment of most involved, I usually keep my opinions to myself, but I'm open to learning and knowing about all religions, and I think it says something about your own faith and commitment if you're too afraid to read another book written for another religious sect! (FYI: Please don't take "you" personally here. It's not meant for you, I'm using it in the more general sense). All that being said, I think it would be awesome to read the Quran, as well as reading different versions of the Christian Bible, and the Torah! I've read sections of each, as well as other religious texts, but nothing cover-to-cover, as I've read the Bible. So, to your first issue of being really busy, and not having enough time for the right lady: People make time for things that are important to them. Also, the right woman isn't going to let your studies decline simply to be with her, she'll support your professional aspirations and help you get there. It seems inconceivable to me to even think of having anyone else! On the second issue of finding a woman that accepts where you are in your faith: We're out here. You may have to search a bit harder for us, since we won't be "wearing our religion on our sleeves" like your more fervent religious zealot, but it's possible to find us. Even where you live; with your busy schedule!
  20. A waiter with kids !!

    I kind of look at the initial scenario you described as the difference between "abstinence" and "celibacy", where "abstinence" is someone that has always abstained from having sex (and is a virgin), and "celibacy" is someone that has had sex, and then made the choice to not have it again, until they are married (or for some other reason). In this regard, a single parent can be celibate, but not abstinent (in my opinion), and one's ability to accept their status as such is purely a matter of personal choice. When I was younger, I was totally against dating or even considering someone with kids. As I've gotten older, and most of my same-aged counterparts tend to have children, I've realized that I may have to change my opinion on this somewhat. For instance, I can likely be with someone who's living a righteous life as a single parent, if their child's parent is deceased. I'm just not ready for (or interested in) the whole "blended family" thing with a living parent interfering with my life and marriage. I really don't know what might ultimately end up happening, as my opinion on single parenthood is changing. I'm thinking about fostering, then adopting a child (or children), and I assume that eventually, I may actually end up going on a date with the intention to marry. Though I know I'll have more "baggage" with me (in addition to not being willing to have sex before marriage), I'd still like to think someone will be willing to accept me and my children. I guess we'll see.
  21. anybody watching jane the virgin

    The show itself is not very good, and the premise is off-putting! Can you imagine having to go through the pain of childbirth without having had the joy of sex ONCE?! I'd be livid! I think that's probably part of the reason the show really didn't appeal to me. Also, it seems as if Jane's going to have sex sooner rather than later, so the title of the show isn't going to truly represent what's happening on it, like "Last Man On Earth" on FOX.
  22. anybody watching jane the virgin

    I tried to watch it, but couldn't really get into it because the entire season wasn't available On Demand in the time I had to actually watch. The episodes I saw were okay, but I'd never take time out of my schedule to actually watch this show. It's just something to look at when you've got time to kill and want the TV on (in my opinion).
  23. 30 and getting a little worried

    It's weird. As I read your post, I couldn't help but wonder why you can't seem to find someone to share your life with, despite the fact that I find myself in the exact same boat. I can't necessarily say I'm "losing faith", but I do know I'm not of the same mindset as many other waiters I've read about on the forums. I hope things get better for you. It sounds awful that you're not able to function in daily life due to bitterness and frustration. I can kind of relate, but mine isn't totally about marriage and sex!
  24. 30 and getting a little worried

    I really need to know where all the 30+ virgin guys hang out! Maybe you should set up a dating website or something! Help us ladies know where you find you! LOL. Seriously though, stay encouraged. At this point, you've got to believe that the right woman is out there, and since you've waited this long, I say don't just throw it all away on someone that's not worth your time, energy, attention, and love!
  25. Being Called M'aam

    The way I was raised "ma'am" was generally reserved for older married ladies, and "miss" was used for younger, unmarried women. Being called "ma'am" after the age of 21 still smarts, because it's usually indictative of someone that's younger than me (since some men tend to pick up on how offensive ma'am can be and will use "miss" if they don't see a wedding ring or children nearby). Now that I'm "older" and firmly in "ma'am terrority", I wence on the inside, and just deal with it. I understand it's simple an expression in our "polite society".