'tis the Bearded One

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Everything posted by 'tis the Bearded One

  1. Travel: New Zealand

    If you live or have traveled to New Zealand I would love to hear your recommended travel destinations and any other tips for enjoying Kiwi Land around post-Christmas time. Some of my family and I are planning to spend nearly 30 days there and I'm currently in the process of devising travel plans Looking at some of the awesome natural wonders/tramping tracks is making me drool! I may have to make NZ my holiday travel destination....
  2. How is this Site STILL standing?

    What is the Facebook group if there is one now?
  3. Melancholy Music

    Sometimes we just want to listen to sad music. So, post your sad, depressing, anguish songs and let's wallow together!
  4. We have a serious thread of why we decided to wait. I thought a more non-serious one could be fun! I made it third party so it doesn't have to be personal or gender specific. Be sarcastic, satirical, witty whatever. Shoot! Why should you wait? So your partner can't propose to you during sex! Have fun sharing that story...
  5. Humorous: Why you should wait!

    You should wait because "When were you last tested?" doesn't sound like foreplay to me.
  6. Virgin Therapists: Home Sweet Hell

    Sorry for the late reply; lost sight of it.... I think you're misunderstanding the concept of interpersonal vulnerability. You might like to watch some videos on youtube - Brene Brown is a researcher addressing vulnerability. Vulnerability isn't weakness (though it can be problematic if you are habitually vulnerable to an abusive person or otherwise actioned unhealthily as much as other good things like generosity can take on an unhealthy form). Take a person who doesn't make themselves interpersonally vulnerable to another human being and you're talking about a psychopath. How do you gain confidence in someone else? No matter what their level of expertise or skill they are human and failure is always an option. Intellectual belief in their capabilities only gets you so far. I'm sure you've heard the Charles Blondin Wheelbarrow Story. And again, how do you develop trust? At its core through some form of risk. Doesn't mean you're wracked with fear and nail biting or that you are some mess of insecurities. You may not be consciously aware of taking the risk but it exists nonetheless. Confidence and trust in someone doesn't just spontaneously happen. It develops - it can increase and decrease. Certainly, people have different levels of base trust/confidence that they extend to others depending on various factors but that base level certainly wouldn't be enough for a marriage. A trust relationship exists because someone took a chance/risk. If not through some risk, what do you think grows trust or confidence in others? My guess would be that they've built their successful marriage through sharing their weaknesses, insecurities, and fears which gives the opportunity for increasing understanding and trust and responding to eachother's deeper concerns. That sharing takes vulnerability, it is a risk, because that knowledge can be used against the sharer. Someone you've opened up to, someone who knows you, can hurt you like no one else.
  7. How Can You Know if You Are Ready to Be a Godly Wife?

    I have read the claim that undocumented labour in the USA provides a net economic gain but regardless of that I don't think you can take this Bible text, which is of an individual nature and given to a conquered people under a foreign government and apply it as an argument against deportation of illegal immigrants by a government - and a secular one at that. This text cannot be use to effectively force others through government policy to be generous and impose open borders. Consider Romans 13:1–7.
  8. Regarding Addicts

    While you may also have some problems with anxiety and depression independent of porn consumption, from what I know they would be most likely causally linked. You are feeling some of the negative consequences of porn consumption. Its not worth it. Get help and get through it!
  9. Regarding Addicts

    I think the definition of addiction is fairly well defined. Diagnosing is what the layman may have difficulties with. Porn and alcohol aren't addictions. Addiction is a particular relationship with a substance or activity that may or may not be considered inherently addictive. Whether someone is an addict or not has nothing to do with the tolerance level of the one seeing the addict. While there are different levels of addiction they are all still addicts.
  10. You can have two dream rooms in your home, what do you want?

    What is a regular dungeon? Like...a cellar?? Dream room? A study that opens up to a private patio with plenty of room for plants and bees and some tinkering. A good kitchen is worth a lot too....
  11. Birth control/condoms as a married man or woman

    In the immortal words of Mark Gungor: "Wearing a condom is like eating an icecream cone with a sock on your tongue.” I haven't really given contraception much research. I imagine my wife will have done a lot more. The IUD sounds ok. I've also heard that neem is really effective too...
  12. Favorite saint of purity

    Yes, as interesting and important as these theological discussions are they do belong in a different thread. There are many different religious perspectives on this forum and debate should be restricted to threads designed for debate out of respect and preventing threads from getting derailed. @Geraldine Maybe you would like to start a separate discussion thread?
  13. Congratulations on your wedding, Lovelyish!

    Yay Congratulations! Hope you had and are having an awesome time
  14. Engagement Ring Stone

    Opal anyone? Though I suppose they may need too large a piece to really shine...
  15. Engagement Ring Stone

    Oh you get chains. They're just intangible
  16. What I find noticeably tough at times is the lack of physical affection, just non-sexual affectionate physical touch. Apart from hello/goodbye hugs I pretty much don't get any voluntarily affectionate touch. The most affectionate touch I currently get is from my godchildren - their passionate hugs, when they just want to climb all over you, when they get jealous of each other because one of them is sitting on you, when they want to be held, when they snuggle into you....ahhhh I soak it up like a sponge in the Atacama desert. Last year a friend gave me a short shoulder massage for my birthday. I nearly teared up. *sigh*
  17. Account.

    please leave your content when you go!
  18. Do you abstain from other things besides sex too?

    @meandmyfaith when you say eaten, do you mean chewing or ingesting? Just curious...
  19. I finally decided to go to this extent...

    Welcome Axel You know, it is probably the beard....you need to grow it longer
  20. following the yellow brick road

    Welcome when I first saw your title I asked myself if there really was a road called that haha
  21. New here :) Hello from Texas

    Welcome I do believe we have a few people from Texas here.
  22. Just Curious: Why do you like short girls?

    Makes sense. Perception, even if divorced from reality, is powerful. If we are talking about some Darwinian evolution then I would tend to disagree with this sentiment. Consider that in more primitive settings (lacking the security nets and opportunities of a more complex society) having a smaller/weaker/more vulnerable partner in need of extra protection (aka extra resources that others need to provide) isn't a favourable thing (emphasis on "in need of extra protection” - not necessarily linked with height/size). It is a luxury. I suspect a particular attraction to women “in need of protection” as partners (as opposed to desiring to protect the people we love) is a first world, romanticised notion and at its worst the playing out of a dysfunctional “rescuer” role - which can be good-willed or predatory. Thoughts?
  23. Why do guys do this?...

    Seconded. That's what came into my mind anyway. Maybe also trying to elicit jealousy or boost their profile? As in "desired people are more desirable": https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/women-men-relationships-more-attractive-dating-romance-university-study-a8185026.html.
  24. Wait up! Hold a minute! Put a little love in it ... This is the first I've heard of it! Ah! Man am I behind the times! Congratulations!! This is awesome Stoked! Another married waiter! This seriously made my night. Yaaaaaaay *snoops through NicoleNova's profile* Where be the testimony/story? @Will H I second the above posts. Short of having some kind of PTSD triggering, go for it! And if you have PTSD go for it anyway - it'll probably help you get over it