'tis the Bearded One

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Everything posted by 'tis the Bearded One

  1. Relational Comfort and Shaving Habits

    So there seems to be a thing about some/many women decreasing or nearly stopping shaving when they are comfortable in their romantic relationship. Some men complain that their partner has "let themselves go" and that it is affecting their attraction to them; they used to shave before (for them) why don't they continue now that the relationship is serious/married? Some women who keep "having" to shave grow resentful over it. What are your thought on this? If you have done/do this or plan to, why? If you don't want to continue shaving in a relationship why do so at the start? Note: this isn't about the choice (to shave or not - we have other threads on that) but rather the change in habit.
  2. Speedy Evaluations

    Come on people! Imagine the scenario of a camp/get-together over a weekend or week, heaps of single people everywhere that you don't know....How do you try to optimise your time and efforts?
  3. Speedy Evaluations

    They say first impressions matter. Have you consciously reflected on what informs your initial impressions? Given a significant number of potential interests (either for friendship or romantic) and limited time, how do you whittle down the candidates so you can use your time wisely in developing contacts? Some factors may be biases and presumptions that cannot be validated or rejected given the time.....Some might be previously subconscious; some may be indicators you consciously created… I am very interested in hearing them! One of the factors I've noticed with myself is: Handshakes: being greeted with a limp, dead fish that lacks vigour is thoroughly off-putting regardless of gender. I'll share some more later on.
  4. The Catch-22 of Waiting

    I have not heard this before. Where are you getting that from?
  5. self My Introduction

    Hi Emily, welcome to the forum Nice to see a lurker getting active. Antinatalist huh? Could make for an interesting topic....
  6. A DISCORD FOR US SINCE THE CHAT IS DOWN

    How does this work with privacy if its used on a mobile phone??
  7. Stand-Up

    Oh yes. Haven't seen to much about his but what I have is good. Case in point:
  8. Complicated Situation

    Great idea @Siftastic. Depending on where you live, there can be many groups e.g. Toastmasters, hobby clubs, book clubs, volunteering activities, sporting groups, etc
  9. "I Don't Know What To Say"

    Here is a similar short from a movie Inside Out
  10. Stand-Up

    One of my favourite comedians... Christopher Titus - Norman Rockwell is Bleeding http://putlockers.fm/watch/LxRwmmGO-norman-rockwell-is-bleeding.html
  11. Complicated Situation

    Couldn't have said it better myself. It's good to hear you ( @Yin-Yang) are undertaking professional help and aren't ashamed to do so. So many people are and it's terrible. From reading your post it sounds like you are attributing your depression to this guy's sexual past. Are you sure there isn't a more foundational cause? It also sounds like you believe you cannot improve on your current state but are still having daily thoughts of death. Have you informed your therapist of this? It sounds like you really do want your situation to change but are frustrated at it not doing so. That is tough. Your social isolation is worrying. Do you want more than one friend? Do you have pets? Some people are reclusive but it doesn't sound like it is something you're enjoying. I also feel like maybe you have this concept that only "crazy" people think of death and suicide or that people who think of death/suicide are visibly messed up/chaotic/dysfunctional? You may be surprised at how "normal" people can be/appear who have suicidal thoughts. I spoke with a man who had quite a rational approach to selection of his method of suicide yet he also recognised that he wasn't thinking clearly as a whole but that didn't stop him from making suicide plans. It can seem quite contradictory and a lot of that happens in mental health contexts. On the extreme end people with psychotic disorders can build a bizarre contradictory self-awareness during psychotic episodes: both knowing that whatever they are seeing/fearing/hearing isn't real yet still believing it. I'd also turn a thought to what kind of therapy you are receiving. When it comes to depression there can be many influencing factors from genetic, dietary, heavy metals, cognitive etc and relatively small things that some therapist may not consider that could be helpful to you. I once undertook the Nedley Depression & Anxiety Recovery program and thought it quite thorough. You might like to check out their website: http://depressionthewayout.com. In Australia it is run by some churches for the community. I wish you all the best and PM me if you like
  12. Hi :) I'm new here

    Hi and welcome Haydee
  13. "I Don't Know What To Say"

    @CrystalFaerie beat me to it: if you know what you need from them tell them specifically what and maybe even why you need that to hopefully get them thinking of how they can fill that need in other ways as well. As the previous posters pointed out, people frequently lack the skills. I don't know how it is in the USA but in Australia mental health skills are sorely neglected. You may be able to find some resources that they can read/watch if they are willing or go together to a workshop that addresses the issue. If you can't find a sufficient support person in you friends/family I encourage you to look for a support group and consider using a telephone service. In Australia we have Lifeline which is a crisis support phone line people can call 24/7 for short-term support (e.g. panic attack, depressive episodes, psychosis, suicidal thoughts, suicide in progress, just needing to vent/chat, domestic violence etc etc) and referrals to other services. You probably (hopefully) have something similar in the USA. They can be a big help also in finding local supports/schemes that can help you more long-term. Here is a clip that can help some people:
  14. Do you abstain from other things besides sex too?

    Second what @Syzygy said. I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs. I think for waiters it may be slightly easier to abstain from other (unhealthy) things because they are more used to being the odd person out and dealing with pressures to do things they don't want to without caving in.
  15. Melancholy Music

    Sometimes we just want to listen to sad music. So, post your sad, depressing, anguish songs and let's wallow together!
  16. Hi, recently joined

    Hi and welcome! Some nice hobbies you have there. If only rocks weren't so expensive. There are some amazing beauties!!
  17. Social Bias Against Men

    Diverting somewhat from Queen's thread on spousal abuse, I wanted to share these three clips: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9HMhSvnbmk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cgvHY--xeC4#t=155 What are your thoughts? Have you experienced first hand unacceptable bias against men? Do you consider it a largely inevitable result of trying to create gender equality - i.e. the pendulum swinging from one to the other till hopefully it settles in the middle? Do you believe it exists in the first place?
  18. The book"Sacred sex"

    I have actually read this book recently. While there definitely is some good stuff in there, I found it its core premise as sex mysticism somewhat wrapped in a Christian spiritual context. I found his arguments for his core premise flawed and insufficient. I was expecting a thorough exegesis of Scripture but was disappointed. He basically states that Kama Sutra and Tantric sex are "all an effort to achieve spiritual sex without acknowledging the God of the Bible". While he didn't go so far as to explicitly state that we should practice Tantra/Kama Sutra but replace its spiritual concepts with the Christian God, it's pretty much inferred. To me it is the start of a creep (or a leap) into pagan theologies practiced in ancient Canaan so if that is not your thing, you'd want to be very careful. Tantra and Kama Sutra are sexual theologies built on cosmic humanism. Eastern mysticism has been creeping into the Christian faith for some time now and worth educating oneself about.Some extracts: "God designed marital sex to be an encounter with the divine. Sexual intimacy, with all of its overwhelming emotions and heart-pounding sensations, was never intended to be experienced solely in the emotional and physical realms. Rather, it is to be a spiritual, even mystical, experience in which two bodies become one. God is present in a very real way every time this happens. Sex really is holy. It’s a sacred place shared in the intimacy of marriage. And it’s an act of worship, a sacrament of marriage that invites and welcomes the very presence of God." "I’ve known times of sexual intimacy with my wife to be the very presence of God Himself." "...every time we make love, we are ushered into the presence of God."
  19. Random Thoughts

  20. Melancholy Music

  21. HOLIDAYS

    @meandmyfaithah, makes sense. That's a pretty good idea actually. Not planning on going to the USA anytime soon though myself...
  22. I'm not new but I haven't been here in YEARS

    Welcome back
  23. I'm a bit curious about my own fertility. I have no reason to believe it would be impaired but knowing whether that is the case could be important for a potential spouse if she desires her own biological offspring and doesn't want to use another man's sperm. Would you like to know the fertility of a potential spouse? Has anyone here ever gotten themselves tested? I realise that some forms of in/fertility can change. I know a couple who couldn't conceive till after a dietary change and a woman who had such bad internal scarring that a doctor told her she would never get pregnant but who now has multiple kids. It's not always an exact science but some might like to know the chances. Would not being able to have biological kids be a dealbreaker for you? Would you be open to a partner using someone else's eggs/sperm to have a child?
  24. Welcome, Janet We don't tend to take offence at people deciding to wait till marriage here, so you're all good
  25. A lot of words

    Welcome, Adam. Thanks for sharing