'tis the Bearded One

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About 'tis the Bearded One

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    Droning for a Queen

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    : The Land Down Under

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  1. Engagement Ring Stone

    Opal anyone? Though I suppose they may need too large a piece to really shine...
  2. Engagement Ring Stone

    Oh you get chains. They're just intangible
  3. What I find noticeably tough at times is the lack of physical affection, just non-sexual affectionate physical touch. Apart from hello/goodbye hugs I pretty much don't get any voluntarily affectionate touch. The most affectionate touch I currently get is from my godchildren - their passionate hugs, when they just want to climb all over you, when they get jealous of each other because one of them is sitting on you, when they want to be held, when they snuggle into you....ahhhh I soak it up like a sponge in the Atacama desert. Last year a friend gave me a short shoulder massage for my birthday. I nearly teared up. *sigh*
  4. Account.

    please leave your content when you go!
  5. Do you abstain from other things besides sex too?

    @meandmyfaith when you say eaten, do you mean chewing or ingesting? Just curious...
  6. I finally decided to go to this extent...

    Welcome Axel You know, it is probably the beard....you need to grow it longer
  7. following the yellow brick road

    Welcome when I first saw your title I asked myself if there really was a road called that haha
  8. New here :) Hello from Texas

    Welcome I do believe we have a few people from Texas here.
  9. That was an unexpected hard right turn! This snippet of information changes things...We have come across the issue of a couple struggling to consummate post-marriage. I don't know much more - as far as I know a married waiter assisted through PM to maintain privacy. If you want there may be some married (or previously married) waiters who can help you out that way and be a bit more candid. Otherwise, since you are new here, I thought I'd mention you can request the thread be moved to the VDA forum so only forum members can access it. From this I gather that you two have tried but that he is rushing foreplay and he is not making the event special enough to live up to your long anticipated expectation (which I totally get!) which makes you pump on the breaks. I gather you have had the sexpectations talk and I'm guessing you've talked about what you would like for context to make it feel special? If it is something specific and tangible (like rose petals on the bed; massage etc) is he giving a reason why he isn't meeting those requests? As far as foreplay I gather he just isn't doing enough. Maybe he needs to be told to forget whatever he incidentally learnt from his previous sexual liaisons (in a tactful manner). Those women will most likely not have required as much foreplay as a virgin or liked different things. Maybe in the heat of the moment he is forgetting how much foreplay you need. I remember a kid who used to live with us who would get an adrenaline rush when sitting at the table. The thought of being about to eat would cause him to tremble, start seriously salivating, and his mental focus on other things would deteriorate. And here we are talking about first-time sex with your loved one so....! In this case as long as he is willing to give extended foreplay, you may need to be a more explicit gatekeeper of when he can proceed with what. Maybe come up with a red light, yellow light, green light system. You may need to take more control potentially even down to going girl-on-top so you can ah...control everything....at the crux moment. This could allay your concerns of him going to fast if you are in control of the pace. <maybe this needs to be in VDA anyway...>.< @Invincible> Another factor may be un/conscious fears on your part that are preventing you from being ready enough - in which case it may not be his lack of foreplay. If you aren't allowing yourself to get into frame of mind required by you for him to proceed it may be unfair to put it all on him. That may be something to pay attention to. Either way you may like to check out the Sexual Icebreakers thread though there isn't much content it introduces a concept of easing the two of you into new territories. Hmmm does he have a problem with the term "sex" thus preferring a different one or is he saying that he believes the sex act is demeaning in itself? And is it demeaning in general or only specifically between you two? If he does, is it demeaning towards you, him, or both of you? This will be of interest in how you address those feelings/beliefs. Sadly there is a whole heap of rubbish over the condemnation of sex - as opposed to just the condemnation of immoral sex - in some religious circles. Historically (and there may still be some adherents on some level) there were some Christian scholars who saw even sex within marriage as a necessary evil. Far out! Totally sad and biblically inaccurate. You may want to explore where these deep beliefs are coming from (if he has them). It doesn't necessarily have to have a religious origin. You may want to read up on the Madonna-whore complex. One other thought that I had, and its probably a stretch, but maybe he is rushing the foreplay over difficulties of maintaining an erection or concerns about loosing it (temporarily).
  10. Just Curious: Why do you like short girls?

    Makes sense. Perception, even if divorced from reality, is powerful. If we are talking about some Darwinian evolution then I would tend to disagree with this sentiment. Consider that in more primitive settings (lacking the security nets and opportunities of a more complex society) having a smaller/weaker/more vulnerable partner in need of extra protection (aka extra resources that others need to provide) isn't a favourable thing (emphasis on "in need of extra protection” - not necessarily linked with height/size). It is a luxury. I suspect a particular attraction to women “in need of protection” as partners (as opposed to desiring to protect the people we love) is a first world, romanticised notion and at its worst the playing out of a dysfunctional “rescuer” role - which can be good-willed or predatory. Thoughts?
  11. Why do guys do this?...

    Seconded. That's what came into my mind anyway. Maybe also trying to elicit jealousy or boost their profile? As in "desired people are more desirable": https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/women-men-relationships-more-attractive-dating-romance-university-study-a8185026.html.
  12. Wait up! Hold a minute! Put a little love in it ... This is the first I've heard of it! Ah! Man am I behind the times! Congratulations!! This is awesome Stoked! Another married waiter! This seriously made my night. Yaaaaaaay *snoops through NicoleNova's profile* Where be the testimony/story? @Will H I second the above posts. Short of having some kind of PTSD triggering, go for it! And if you have PTSD go for it anyway - it'll probably help you get over it
  13. 2MetresAbove is is here!

    do tell
  14. 2MetresAbove is is here!

    Welcome big guy Doesn't feel like it sometimes....
  15. That annoying moment when the cane toad jumps away just in time...