'tis the Bearded One

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About 'tis the Bearded One

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    Advanced Member

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Location
    : The Land Down Under
  • Interests
    (in no particular order)

    The Bible; I'm a Seventh-day Adventist - though please don't presume I believe everything you think the Church believes....

    Reading - mostly nonfiction

    Creative & academic writing

    Nature and outdoor activities - hiking, canoeing, snorkeling etc

    Orchids & aquariums

    Playing sports - volleyball (indoor rebound), table tennis, badminton

    Routine exercise - well, *cough* more in principle than (regular) practice. It's a struggle to stick to exercise routines and having a metabolism as fast as a Japanese bullet train means I don't need it to lose weight but rather gain weight. I am relatively fit though and not underweight, I checked...The most weight I've gained from routine exercise was 3kg. And yes, you guessed it; I've lost it since then.

    Law (law reform, social justice, civil rights) & psychology

    Cooking for my daily sustenance - NO actually! I'm telling fibs. Love me, feed me, never leave me! I do enjoy baking Christmas cookies though.

    Travel & cultural exposure


Recent Profile Visitors

4,563 profile views
  1. Relational Comfort and Shaving Habits

    So there seems to be a thing about some/many women decreasing or nearly stopping shaving when they are comfortable in their romantic relationship. Some men complain that their partner has "let themselves go" and that it is affecting their attraction to them; they used to shave before (for them) why don't they continue now that the relationship is serious/married? Some women who keep "having" to shave grow resentful over it. What are your thought on this? If you have done/do this or plan to, why? If you don't want to continue shaving in a relationship why do so at the start? Note: this isn't about the choice (to shave or not - we have other threads on that) but rather the change in habit.
  2. Speedy Evaluations

    Come on people! Imagine the scenario of a camp/get-together over a weekend or week, heaps of single people everywhere that you don't know....How do you try to optimise your time and efforts?
  3. The Catch-22 of Waiting

    I have not heard this before. Where are you getting that from?
  4. self My Introduction

    Hi Emily, welcome to the forum Nice to see a lurker getting active. Antinatalist huh? Could make for an interesting topic....

    How does this work with privacy if its used on a mobile phone??
  6. Stand-Up

    Oh yes. Haven't seen to much about his but what I have is good. Case in point:
  7. Complicated Situation

    Great idea @Siftastic. Depending on where you live, there can be many groups e.g. Toastmasters, hobby clubs, book clubs, volunteering activities, sporting groups, etc
  8. "I Don't Know What To Say"

    Here is a similar short from a movie Inside Out
  9. Stand-Up

    One of my favourite comedians... Christopher Titus - Norman Rockwell is Bleeding http://putlockers.fm/watch/LxRwmmGO-norman-rockwell-is-bleeding.html
  10. Complicated Situation

    Couldn't have said it better myself. It's good to hear you ( @Yin-Yang) are undertaking professional help and aren't ashamed to do so. So many people are and it's terrible. From reading your post it sounds like you are attributing your depression to this guy's sexual past. Are you sure there isn't a more foundational cause? It also sounds like you believe you cannot improve on your current state but are still having daily thoughts of death. Have you informed your therapist of this? It sounds like you really do want your situation to change but are frustrated at it not doing so. That is tough. Your social isolation is worrying. Do you want more than one friend? Do you have pets? Some people are reclusive but it doesn't sound like it is something you're enjoying. I also feel like maybe you have this concept that only "crazy" people think of death and suicide or that people who think of death/suicide are visibly messed up/chaotic/dysfunctional? You may be surprised at how "normal" people can be/appear who have suicidal thoughts. I spoke with a man who had quite a rational approach to selection of his method of suicide yet he also recognised that he wasn't thinking clearly as a whole but that didn't stop him from making suicide plans. It can seem quite contradictory and a lot of that happens in mental health contexts. On the extreme end people with psychotic disorders can build a bizarre contradictory self-awareness during psychotic episodes: both knowing that whatever they are seeing/fearing/hearing isn't real yet still believing it. I'd also turn a thought to what kind of therapy you are receiving. When it comes to depression there can be many influencing factors from genetic, dietary, heavy metals, cognitive etc and relatively small things that some therapist may not consider that could be helpful to you. I once undertook the Nedley Depression & Anxiety Recovery program and thought it quite thorough. You might like to check out their website: http://depressionthewayout.com. In Australia it is run by some churches for the community. I wish you all the best and PM me if you like
  11. Hi :) I'm new here

    Hi and welcome Haydee
  12. "I Don't Know What To Say"

    @CrystalFaerie beat me to it: if you know what you need from them tell them specifically what and maybe even why you need that to hopefully get them thinking of how they can fill that need in other ways as well. As the previous posters pointed out, people frequently lack the skills. I don't know how it is in the USA but in Australia mental health skills are sorely neglected. You may be able to find some resources that they can read/watch if they are willing or go together to a workshop that addresses the issue. If you can't find a sufficient support person in you friends/family I encourage you to look for a support group and consider using a telephone service. In Australia we have Lifeline which is a crisis support phone line people can call 24/7 for short-term support (e.g. panic attack, depressive episodes, psychosis, suicidal thoughts, suicide in progress, just needing to vent/chat, domestic violence etc etc) and referrals to other services. You probably (hopefully) have something similar in the USA. They can be a big help also in finding local supports/schemes that can help you more long-term. Here is a clip that can help some people:
  13. Do you abstain from other things besides sex too?

    Second what @Syzygy said. I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs. I think for waiters it may be slightly easier to abstain from other (unhealthy) things because they are more used to being the odd person out and dealing with pressures to do things they don't want to without caving in.
  14. Hi, recently joined

    Hi and welcome! Some nice hobbies you have there. If only rocks weren't so expensive. There are some amazing beauties!!
  15. The book"Sacred sex"

    I have actually read this book recently. While there definitely is some good stuff in there, I found it its core premise as sex mysticism somewhat wrapped in a Christian spiritual context. I found his arguments for his core premise flawed and insufficient. I was expecting a thorough exegesis of Scripture but was disappointed. He basically states that Kama Sutra and Tantric sex are "all an effort to achieve spiritual sex without acknowledging the God of the Bible". While he didn't go so far as to explicitly state that we should practice Tantra/Kama Sutra but replace its spiritual concepts with the Christian God, it's pretty much inferred. To me it is the start of a creep (or a leap) into pagan theologies practiced in ancient Canaan so if that is not your thing, you'd want to be very careful. Tantra and Kama Sutra are sexual theologies built on cosmic humanism. Eastern mysticism has been creeping into the Christian faith for some time now and worth educating oneself about.Some extracts: "God designed marital sex to be an encounter with the divine. Sexual intimacy, with all of its overwhelming emotions and heart-pounding sensations, was never intended to be experienced solely in the emotional and physical realms. Rather, it is to be a spiritual, even mystical, experience in which two bodies become one. God is present in a very real way every time this happens. Sex really is holy. It’s a sacred place shared in the intimacy of marriage. And it’s an act of worship, a sacrament of marriage that invites and welcomes the very presence of God." "I’ve known times of sexual intimacy with my wife to be the very presence of God Himself." "...every time we make love, we are ushered into the presence of God."