sine

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About sine

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  1. Should Men Give Up Porn?

    Oh, you know me so well! Yeah, well, that's just great coming from an admin.....I don't know how it reflects on this website though.....
  2. Ok, maybe that wasn't the best way to put it but the thing is, I don't know how a girl in that situation feels like, whatever little I've been able to gather from articles & stuff written by women who have been in that situation, they say they felt really scared of men in general (presuming of course, that the rapist(s) was/were male(s)), so much so that they didn't even want their father or brothers to touch them, etc so I don't know if a relationship/marriage is even possible in that situation, it might even seem unreasonable to expect it. I just don't know what to expect & hence the uncertainty. And, that is what they need to "get over". Of course, they can't just erase the memory but just regaining their trust in men, intimacy, etc. They can't do that until they "let go of their past" & unfortunately, it seems not all such women are able to do that completely. So I just don't know. Anyway, the point of bringing up the rape situation was that just because I want to marry a virgin doesn't necessarily mean it's the only thing that I care about.
  3. Not to reiterate the obvious but the line you've quoted is in reference to "demi-heterosexuality". And I think if someone calls themselves "demi-heterosexual" then that would mean that they are already feeling a shred of or more sexual attraction towards the opposite sex otherwise they'd just call themselves "demisexual" & not "demi-heterosexual; & if someone is already leaning hetero then they are just heterosexual, so the term "demi-heterosexual" becomes unnecessary.
  4. Should Men Give Up Porn?

    Didn't say that.
  5. Honestly, I don't know ALL the question that I'd want answers to because thing is, you can have certain questions & criteria & all that but it may be that you meet someone & you see something different, things & qualities that you hadn't considered before & now, with this person, you find them & those unique qualities of theirs desirable......on the other hand, another person may meet most of the criteria on your checklist & yet that magical "chemistry" might still be missing........so like Daz has said, just spend time together, talk about things & things that matter will naturally come up & just go with the flow...... So, with respect to more obvious things, I guess I'd prefer someone non-religious (although I'm open-minded about non-practising theists) because otherwise it can cause a lot problems, especially after having children......intellectual curiosity would be extremely important, the desire to find out about things & an inclination towards discussing & debating things.....being very forthright & honest, being communicative, having similar moral values.....mutual physical attraction is necessary as well. I believe it's good to not be TOO SPECIFIC in what you're looking for in a partner (obviously, beyond the "must have" qualities) because then you sort of have this fictional person in your mind & you're trying to find a real person that matches that fictional person but such a person mayn't even exist. So I'd just consider the "must haves" & then just let myself fall in love with her if it is to happen, accepting her as she is with her qualities as well as her flaws..... And yeah, most importantly, as I've said elsewhere, a girl can have all the qualities that I want but if she doesn't really want to be with me then I just won't feel it. So yeah, this would be at the top of the list -> that she loves me!
  6. Is Virginity Really Attractive?

    I've had a very similar experience on okcupid except maybe you're looking at Christian women while I've been specifically looking at non-religious women......but the story is exactly the same! I've probably seen like hundreds of non-religious virgins (very very few waiters though ) amongst the several thousands of profiles I've gone through.....& for like 98% of them, their "ideal partner" would be "slightly experienced". So, there ya go, it's not just the Christian women, it's just women in general I think Nonetheless, although it's kind of disappointing, I don't really care that much because I just need ONE, JUST ONE, who will appreciate it & all my other qualities. Thing is, the girls that don't appreciate a rare quality like that are probably not meant for us anyway so don't feel bad about it, man!
  7. An interesting ironic controversy featuring lesbians and racism woohoo!?!?!

    I don't think there's anything wrong with a white person (or a person of any other race/group) wanting their child to look like them. Many people wish to live through their children so to speak & someone may feel a stronger connection with their child if they looked like them (to whatever extent). It's clear that the sperm-bank made a huge mistake so they should own up to it & pay the damages. I'm glad the woman has gone public with this because as much as I'm "pro-business", I also believe a business should suffer the consequences of its actions when it effs up! The most annoying thing for me is that this story is all about how "racism is still alive & well" rather the real issue (in my opinion) which is the huge blunder on the part of the sperm-bank! Just on the topic of racism, I always like to make a distinction between those who may be prejudiced & those that are violent extremists. Anybody can be prejudiced about a whole bunch of things because prejudice is born out of ignorance & none of us can claim to know everything about everyone so prejudice is always going to exist so long as there's diversity amongst people. I'm not saying prejudice is always acceptable but at least it can be tolerable, violent extremism, of course, isn't. If we consider prejudice in others aspects, let's consider the fact that religious people who were raised in a religious environment often think that non-religious people don't care about morality at all while those who have grown up in a non-religious environment may think that all religious people are idiots who believe in these fairytales, waiters can be prejudiced against non-waiters & vice versa, & so on. The point is we can all be prejudiced in some way about a bunch of people & yet, it's the issue of race that gets people's engines revved up but I think that makes it all the more important that we see the difference between prejudiced & violent extremists. So if someone is prejudiced towards people of a certain race/culture/whatever then that is a lot more tolerable than someone who just wants to hurt, subjugate or kill people of a certain race/culture/whatever. The difference is the same as someone religious thinking that non-religious people are immoral & those religious people that want to hurt & kill non-religious people; I wouldn't feel the need to pay attention to the former but I'd definitely think that the latter mindset is totally unacceptable. Similarly, if someone was prejudiced due to my race/culture then I'd just ignore them while I'd definitely be more concerned about violent extremists. Uhhh, I hope this bit of rambling makes sense....
  8. Uhh but doesn't it mean demisexuals are in essence open to bisexuality as such? I mean one could have an emotional bond with anybody, the person could of any gender...... Although the article does mention demi-heterosexuality at the end there, that term seems illogical because if one already asserts a hetero preference then they are basically heterosexual & not demisexual as defined. A heterosexual person may desire an emotional bond before having sex, which seems to render the term demi-heterosexual totally redundant anyway.
  9. Hello WTM community :)

    Welcome!
  10. Yeah, we can always have hope.... Doesn't that depend on one's perspective? I mean I believe in WTM because in my opinion, that's a measure of how much a person longs to find their one true love; that's what I have to offer & that's what I expect from my future wife! Of course, if a girl has lost her virginity because of rape or something then I'd be willing to look past that because I don't think I can hold her accountable for what others have done to her so long as she's been WTM otherwise & has managed to get over her past & is in a position, mentally, to start a new life with me.
  11. Should Men Give Up Porn?

    Firstly, let me say that you & I derive our notions of morality, exploitation & so on from different things; mine are based on principles such as equality, consent & voluntary action while yours are perhaps based on your religion, so there might be a strong divergence in how we perceive certain things because of that.... Well, I don't have an issue with either so long as people engaging in it VOLUNTARILY agreed to doing those things. As I've said before, I may think that they're perhaps not making a right choice for themselves but then some people might also think that you're not making the right choice for yourself by following the religious path......You know, we all can have an opinion on things but I believe a person should be free to make their choices in life because we mayn't always be able to see & grasp what they see from their point of view..... Fair enough. Personally, I wouldn't have a problem with it if my future wife has watched porn when she was single otherwise I'd be a hypocrite. In fact, I'd prefer (though not necessarily insist) that my future wife is in touch with her sexuality because I believe that repressing one's sexuality for religious or any other reasons can be damaging to one's sexual as well as general mental wellbeing. But to each his own I guess...... If that's how you TRULY feel then good for you but if you're trying to repress your sexuality because of your religion then...... I doubt one's need to feel sexual can just vanish all of a sudden......without a major shift in one's though processes.......Weren't you the girl that has said that you weren't so religious before? Probably due to desensitization as I've said before but it might be a temporary thing...... You probably could have but as has already been said, it's probably not the best thing to let it escalate because it can lead to further desensitization. Yeah, there's plenty of weird stuff out there......but I believe it's possible to keep using porn without letting oneself escalate to weird fetishes & such. I mean after all these years of watching porn, I've no problem getting aroused by just seeing beautiful girls, who might not even be doing anything "sexual". Again, as long as they have VOLUNTARILY agreed to do it, it's like a "occupational inconvenience" I guess......many of them working in porn say that "it's just work" for them. And, I'm sure there are plenty of people out there who hate doing some of the thing they have to do at their work you know. As far faking things goes, well, people fake all sorts of emotions in movies, TV programs & stuff so should we be opposed to those as well on the grounds that they're "faking it"? A bit off-topic but what if your future husband happened to have bad BO &/or bad breath? Well, if that's what's turned you off porn then I can respect that. Of course, there's stuff out there that I'd find disgusting but that doesn't turn me off the type of stuff that I don't find disgusting. And, I guess we ALL here want the "real deal" but I don't think that repressing my sexuality is going to help me get the "real deal" either..... Yeah, well, it is attention-seeking but I don't know about it tearing families & marriages apart but again, it's a choice they are making for themselves..... Obviously, I'm not Christian but I believe I'm a good man in this respect because I say with such surity that there are no "real women" (as opposed to porn) out there who can say that they caught "sine8181" leering at them because I just haven't done that......barring one regrettable incident, I was just starting puberty I guess (probably hadn't even watched porn then) & looked into a downblouse of a girl, so yeah.......but apart from that I can say I've a clear record when it comes to "real women" despite being a porn-watcher for such a long time. And it's because I've always thought about "What if I was a girl? Would I want anybody looking at me in a sexual way without my consent?", the answer for me was a clear NO. So I've always extended that courtesy to "real women"; with respect to women in porn, there's consent so I've had this clear distinction between the two.
  12. Uhh, what's an "almost complete virgin"? I thought either you're a virgin or you're not (irrespective of how one defines "virginity" itself).....
  13. Should Men Give Up Porn?

    See, the articles on this use words like "compulsive porn use", "addiction", which don't apply to each & every person watching porn; it's like presuming that just because alcoholics exist that each & every person that drinks alcohol is bound to be an alcoholic, now, I've been a teetotaler all my life but I'm open-minded enough to not to jump to conclusions with respect to alcohol-consumption..... I'm 27 & I've been watching porn probably since I was like 13-14 but I'm NOT sufferring from lowered libido or ED or whatever, & I'm sure I'm not the only guy like that so obviously, it doesn't affect everyone the same way. Again, it's talking about addicts, people who are constantly looking forward to their next fap-session & that's more or less the only thing that's on their mind......it's possible that some of these people were watching REALLY EXTREME stuff on a regular basis, so much so that the regular sex, real or porn, couldn't excite them anymore......but it seems they became fully functional anyway once they gave it up...... Now, of course, porn can desensitize some people, just as repeated exposure to anything can desensitize people, people talk about how violence in video games & movies desensitizes children & such, heck, after you get married, after a while, you can get desensitized by your spouse, ask the tons of sexually dissatisfied couples out there......but of course, not every kid watching violent games/movies turns to violence, not every couple has a dead sex-life & similarly, not every person that watches porn becomes a porn-addict with an ED! I see a lot of confimation bias in this thread, a lot of people saying porn is this & that......even those who claim not to watch it.....I mean how can someone paint ALL porn with a broad brush as unromantic, unrealistic, degrading, etc etc if they haven't even explored what's out there.....as I've said before, there's porn out there where things are done tastefully, more couples-centric stuff..... Well, I realize that many people are going to have a closed mind on this issue....for obvious reasons......but again, just to reiterate the point about jumping to conclusions......
  14. controlling yourself

    When I looked from the main forum that you've responded to this thread, I sort of expected more from you........I'm so disappointed But I can fathom why you haven't said more than what you have....
  15. Painting the room - Is this a serious question? OF COURSE NOT! It's my house so my color! Gay/bi - It's alright so long as they don't engage in anything sexual. Trans - If that's how they feel then that's that & I'm ok with transgender people in general but I'm not sure I'd react very positively if it was my child. Well, I'd get them to a professional who specializes in trans issues & if they were sure that that's what they wanted then I'd probably pay for it since whatever little I know about the whole thing is that the earlier the "transformation" begins the more "real" the results will be. BUT I think I might have trouble identifying them as my child, I mean I don't know how it'd be like to raise a little girl & then, she turns into a guy......or vice versa. Well, it might be that they are still my child but you know, sexual hormones are very poiwerful things, most of the sex-specific behavioral patterns amongst all of us are set by them so not only do they bring about drastic changes in physical appearance but likely strongly affect a person's behavior & personality so it could be like they're a totally different person to the one I'd known & loved...... Maybe I just don't know enough about the whole trans thing at this moment so I could've just been politically correct & said I'll still love them just as much as & so on but I honestly don't know if I could/would be able to do that so I hope I'll never have to deal that situation. ADD - I don't know. It really depends on if I feel they really need it or not & how it affects them. I probably don't know enough so I guess I'll have to consult my wife Religion - I'd be disappointed if they chose to join a religion but I'd be ok with it so long as they've really thought about it & are sure that that's what they want & it's not like a fad or something but still, some religions have some weird things going on so if there was something that I &/or my wife thought was really bad for them then that won't be allowed though. Ditto. My parents would also have been kind of lost if I'd been a difficult teenager but thankfully for them, I didn't wish to engage in anything bad. I agree with your overall sentiment that there's no one perfect way to go about raising children, strictness might help with some while allowing more freedom (& earning their trust) might be the way to go with those who are extremely rebellious. I think it will require some experimentation to see how a particular child reacts to a certain parenting style & see what works best. So, one might end up having a slightly different parenting style for each child.