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About PhotoGirl

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    : Arizona
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    photography, reading, movies/tv, music,, hugh laurie youtube clips, jimmy fallon youtube clips, occasionally hiking/site seeing/road tripping/traveling, quotes

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  1. So about this chivalry thing...

    Of course, I do believe women should do certain things, if she sees the opportunity. Like holding a door if a guy has a lot in his hands, stuff like that, it's just nice to do. However, things like a guy opening your car door, or giving you a hand to help you out of the car, or to step over something...these are things that fall under chivalry, I think. There are many many things, yes, but that's an example. The way I see it is that there are many nice, kind, generous, acts you can do for people. Chivalrous acts are acts, of those types, that a man might do for a woman, but would unlikely do for a buddy. For instance, he might hold open a door for a buddy, but he probably would not pull out a chair and help his buddy sit down before heading to his own seat at the table. Or, to the extreme like they did in the old day, stand when a woman leaves the table. Of course, I think that's just sweet, for some reason...I can't explain it, and it's not expected, but....anyway... Is chivalry dead? I don't think it is. It just lies dormant, most of the time. It's sad, sure, but I think there are a couple of reasons...1. We, as women (overall, even though some of us don't feel this way), have gotten so hung up on the attitude that we can do everything ourselves that, somehow, a man acting like a gentleman has become taboo for guys. They feel like they're going to make us angry, or feel like we are less than them. 2. It's a yin/yang order for 'gentleman' to do what they do, 'Ladies' must exist, and vice versa. As a whole, both genders are failing at this, and in the future it may be nonexistent. A true gentleman will do some things that are kind of generally acceptable by everyone...holding doors, etc. Unfortunately, even the true gentlemen, in today's world, must observe individual situations and women to see how receptive his actions will be taken. Personally, I feel bad for men because they might really want to be a true gentleman but they never know when they're going to offend someone. They don't mean to make us feel inferior, yet a lot of women have come to see it this way. In reality, a man shows his true character and how much he adores women (or a specific woman) when he does certain things. I think a real man yearns to, and strives to, protect women. When he's not able to, or not allowed to, he becomes complacent in the world. Chivalrous acts do not demean us, they elevate us. Not that we are better than man, but the intention of these acts is to make us feel loved, cared for, and protected...and, contrary to what extreme feminism would have us believe, THAT IS OK. Now, I can see being offended if he does these things, but then proceeds to talk down to the woman, making her feel like she can't be intelligent because she's female, but I think that's rare. I feel like I may have gone a little off topic...maybe not. Anyway... sorry...just realized this was to the guys...
  2. Facial Hair

    Just adding a thought that came to me as I was reading a different thread. As I said, I do prefer clean cut, most of the time but, for some reason, I was thinking about this and remembered that 2 of my main love interests in the past had facial hair...and I really liked it. So, I guess it just depends on the guy. Not stubble, though. It's a nice look but scratches. All I can remember is when I was really little and my dad came to pick us up for a visit. He gave me a hug, and kiss on the cheek, as usual, and he hadn't shaved in a day or was too scratchy. After that, if he looks unshaven I would let him near me because it hurt. Ok, so, I was just a little girl, but to me it was not good. So, yeah, stubble is great to look at, but I don't care for it. Have a beard, or shave the parts that aren't beard.
  3. 'Woman' vs 'Girl'

    Here is my response, but I'm curious as to yours... I really admire you, but I still believe that context matters...not just the individual word itself. So, I can see your point in that we need the world to understand that, in a case similar to what you said with men sit at a bar and referring to a women sitting near, men should be respectful and honor her as the grown woman that she is. However, I do think there are circumstances where we need to remember that it can be acceptable, or even affectionate, talk...such as 'I'm going out with my girls' or 'That beautiful woman over there? That's MY girl. I am a lucky guy'. Not only have I said the first, but I'd be thrilled to have a man think so much of me that he'd want to point me out like that simply because he feels lucky that I'm his. These phrases do not mean I do not see my female friends as children, nor that my would be love feels I'm less than he. Context matters. That's what we should be teaching. Things such as calling a professional woman, in the workplace, by ma'am, or Doctor so-n-so or whatever. Calling your secretary 'miss' is appropriate unless she's a missus, but revering to her as your 'girl' is unacceptable and demeaning, whether your male of female. On the other hand a husband referring to his wife and daughter as his 'girls' is an affectionate term and, unless his wife tells him otherwise, he should feel comfortable with using it. The same thought process can be used toward males 'guys' vs 'men'. However, guys do tend to not get overly sensitive about this kind of thing because they haven't had to deal with the struggles women have to be seen as intelligent and equal. Still, we can't expect to use 'girls' for just children under 18, and still use 'guys' when we speak about men. The examples for acceptable or unacceptable are endless but what it boils down to is this... Context matters.
  4. Practical Masculinity

    I have been giving these two threads a LOT of thought...and I still haven't come up with much that I feel applies to one side more than the other. Here are a few things I can think of, and some have already been mentioned. Strength: Being able to stand up for his woman, his family, his convictions. For instance, there are times when a mother believes that there is no woman good enough for her son, or his aunt might make a snide remark about her, in these cases a mans ability to stand up for her and tell them to respect her is admirable. I've know of these things to happen, and I found it sad that a wonderful woman would be made to feel unworthy by his family, yet he stood by and did nothing but let her take it. Integrity: Not an exclusively masculine, it does make me feel a man is a 'REAL' man if his integrity is intact. If he can be who he says he is, and this can be different things given the different circumstances in life, he is someone I can trust. This trait, I've found, is rare...unfortunately. Open-mindedness: Also, not exclusively masculine, this trait gives me a truly sensational feeling when I talk with a man (friend or potential mate) who stands his ground, but knows that true intelligence is the ability to recognize when our minds need to change. A man who can have a conversation and really consider the sides he may not agree with at first and be open about what is being said, take that information and really deliberate with himself and others, before coming to a conclusion as to whether or not his first thoughts felt right to him, or the thoughts of another person might be worthy of changing his mind. This would include conversing with me, or other women. His ability to accept that women are capable of much knowledge and wisdom, and he respect their thoughts as much as any man. Geekhood: OK, OK...not the typical trait, I know. For me, however, a man who embraces the child inside of himself and has fun in whatever manner that shows itself is amazing in my eyes. Be it gaming, comic books, science, math...anything he can totally 'fan girl' out about without hesitation...and, a man who will use the phrases 'fan girling' or 'geeking out' gets bonus point. This is a trait I enjoy in male friends, and I totally go gaga over in a love interest. Standing Tall: Literally and metaphorically speaking. If he is confident in himself, shy or outgoing. I don't mind a shy man, but he needs to be at least be confident in who we are and where he wants us to be headed as a couple, and be able to communicate with me. So, I guess I could think up a few... They might not be typical, or how others feel.
  5. Be a mentor for your wife

    Thank you for clarifying his thoughts. I understand, now. I don't agree with most of it, such as needing a man to realize our weaknesses for us and to help us anymore than they need us to do that for them. Part of my reasoning is that we are not guaranteed a mate. So, if we do not find a mate we are capable, as men and women of God, to pray on our weaknesses and work on them ourselves. We, as women, were made as helpmates, yes, but that doesn't mean just to a man. Nor does it mean unequal...which, unless I am misunderstanding, if a man needs to help us realize our weaknesses, and guide and support us to fulfill our potential. However, this doesn’t happen instantly. There is a work of patience, of mentor, of supporter that the man has to achieve around his wife in order that she can realise who she is. TD Jakes was saying to men, to not be discouraged by the speed with wich their wives progress, because they could miss the best person she could become. I think that every man has to be mature and be able to assist his wife, take out the best from her. To nourrish her of words of encouragements, to love her unconditionally, to create platforms where her potential will be exploided. This is a revelation I give you, based upon my own life. A man who decides to assist his wife, to help her to take out the best from her, is a man that God will bless abundantly. I said, abundantly. The way I read this is that men go into a realationship fully ready and whole in God and faith, where women on the other hand need him to realize her faith and potential as a woman. What I'm saying is is that I've taken something totally different from the verses he referred to... When God gives you a wife, He is well aware, that she isn’t at the TOP. That’s why the Bible tells this : (My 'WHAT!?!' Moment, and how I read these two passages differently that he does, apparently.) Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. Ephesians 5v25-29 Be patient with your spouse. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13v4-7 However, AFTER those verses it feels like the tone changes to one where the two are more equal and balance each other...working together, even helping EACH OTHER realize weaknesses. This was where I started agreeing and it made sense to what I believe, and have been taught, of men and women and what we should be to each other. Allowing a man to lead doesn't mean he needs to teach us as though we are less than and need fixing. If that were the case then I might never be fully who I should be because I may never marry. I'm sorry, my point that I was trying to make is that from the first part to the second I got confused and I was pointing out why. Thank you for sharing this. Even though I am not a man, it does make me think...even if I don't agree in whole.
  6. Be a mentor for your wife

    Am I supposed to be as confused as I am? Was that somehow the point?

    You know? I've heard this many times. I wonder why that is. I guess people are use to hearing southern, or New York, or something, accents. lol
  8. Be a mentor for your wife

    I know I'm not a guy, but I'm very confused. The first half of the article I got something completely different from what I got from the second half. I went from having the thought 'What!?!' to having the thought 'Oh, yes, that makes sense.'
  9. I don't want to have children. If he has kids, that's cool. If he doesn't, but wants them? I like adoption as an option, and I use to really wan to adopt, an older child. However, now, I'd rather just have us not have kids. I'm helping raise my nephews, and that's something for someone who never wanted kids. You see, it's not that I don't love kids. If I did become pregnant? Id love and care for that child as though I'd always wanted it. It would be surprised if it ever found out it wasn't planned. I would see it as a child God wanted ME personally to have, because I'd be trying not to get pregnant...and that, in itself, is a blessing I have to be grateful for. However, because of some personal medical issues, I'm looking into surgery that will leave me unable to have children. I know I'm a weird one around here, as most people, can't have children.
  10. Getting very broody

    Yes, I have had those moments. I was going to write a lot more, but I felt like it turned into a sermon? Diatribe? Lecture? What it boils down to is the answer is, yes.
  11. The Question Game

    I believe that's it's possible, and I hope there is. I know most Christians do not believe so, that we are Gods only creation of the humanoid sort (and a flood of thoughts of possibilities just entered my mind). The reason I do or, at least, it's possible is because God is all powerful and capable of anything. When I was young and making the decision that I was going to wait for sex until I married, I didn't know anyone else who'd made that decision. To believe that I was alone in this was a bit presumptuous, not to mention arrogant...'I must be the only one', although maybe not in a proud way, anyway...why should we believe that we were it, I wasn't. That God made us, then stopped? Or, that God didn't make others before us? Some might say 'well it's not in the bible' (honestly, I don't know if there's anything regarding this in the bible, or not, and if someone points it out I'll look into it for myself and come to my own conclusions) and my only answer to that comment is that we see God as our Father, all knowing, all compassion, everywhere, everything, and if he is our father, or parent, tell me why we think he told us literally everything? Parents do not always give us every thought they have. Why would we think that? Why would we think that he wouldn't keep some things to himself if they have nothing to do with us and he can control everything? He gave us what we needed. What makes us think that he would not keep other creations out there and not reveal them? He made the universe never ending, why are we so self righteous to believe that our solar system was the only one he did anything with? Thats it. No experience, no proof one way or the other that I'd like to bring into question, just my need to keep an open mind. So, I can't say I definitively believe, but I hope, so. _____ Question: What is the one thing you'd like for your future spouse to notice about you, that maybe no one else ever does, without being told about it?
  12. does anyone else teach themselves things?

    The technical part to photography. I have the eye (so I've been told) with natural talent, but I want to know the technical aspects and how cameras work. Also, over the years, I've been trying sketching on and off. Recently m I've been lo Into videos and book, and trying different drawing tools.
  13. Personality Traits

    I'd like for him to have the same values, beliefs, etc, as I have. Personality? I would prefer him to be somewhat active, as I'd like to be with someone who would urge me to push my boundaries a little. I would prefer him to be outgoing, because I'm so reserved and would like to have a balance between us, but the important thing in that is that he wants balance, too. I'd prefer if we enjoy similar, but not exact, forms of humor. I don't get dry humor too often, but sarcasm is appreciated, and I enjoy sophisticated humor to slapstick. What I'm getting at is this, I'd rather us be relatively polar opposites than be with someone like myself. I enjoy differences.
  14. My mom and I are best friends...NOW. My dad and I are not close at all...NOW. OK, so, my parents divorced when I was 3. My dad kept up his visitation with us, regularly, until we hit puberty. I am not sure what happened, exactly, but I think he just couldn't handle us growing up. Until that point, I was a daddy's girl and my mom and sister were close. As we grew up, I started to see my dad for who he really was, and he stopped trying at all. Eventually, as a young adult, my mom and I started developing a better relationship and she is now my best friend. Unfortunately, my dad and I barely speak.