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About PG1

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    Realistic Dreamer
  • Birthday 12/24/1979

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  • Gender
  • Location
    : Arizona
  • Interests
    photography, reading, movies/tv, music,, hugh laurie youtube clips, jimmy fallon youtube clips, occasionally hiking/site seeing/road tripping/traveling, quotes

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  1. Howdy!

  2. Your Dream Guy !!

    christian Tall Thin nice smile intelligent (if smarter than me, it's ok as long as he enjoys explaining) enjoys talking with me, even if he's shy will pursue me good decision maker strong leader but respectful of others pov wants to travel
  3. Fiance vs Father

    Personally, I feel that if I'm engaged then I should start treating the relationship as I would my marriage, aside from sex. That being said, I would tell my husband things, especially pertaining to himself. I would even expect my mom (my dad has nothing to do with my life) or my best friend to understand that I discuss things with him. If something concerns me, or makes me feel uneasy, or I simply don't know what to do, he's the one I'm going to talk with first. If my family, or friends, have a problem with that then they don't understand the relationship I want to have with him. They are wrong. Plain an simple. No matter the situation. The only reason I'd talk to someone else first is if I needed advice on how to approach something with him, even then I'd try to just go to him. However, even if they said something about him, without him around, I'd feel like they were disrespecting him, and my relationship with him...and I'd definitely talk to him about it. However, there is one reason it would be ok for them to say something without him around...abuse. If they see him treating me in a way that is disrespectful or abusive, then it's ok.
  4. New kid on the block

    Welcome. I felt the same way before I was told about this site. It's a grand place for support and discussion. Welcome, again.
  5. Salutations!

    Welcome, and I hope you'll find what you're looking for here.
  6. Once again, I'm unlike almost everyone. So, I don't mind who they're friends with...if certain things are considered. I would not do it if I were RIGHT after that person. In that case, their breakup is too fresh and I'd feel like a rebound, or placeholder. If it had been a while and they'd simply realized that they didn't work as a couple, then I don't think I'd mind. I'd only mind if I started to see signs that he wasn't over her, and if I saw signs that she wasn't over him I'd let him know...and go from that. If they are friends, after having such an intimate relationship, I'd be more inclined to think that the maturity of the friendship that they started with BEFOREHAND was a solid foundation and that it must really not have worked if that was the case, if they could still be friends and have no intimate feelings anymore. Don't get me wrong...I believe sex is very special, and I only want to share that with one man. I have just had different experiences that other people and have a LOT of different reasons I'm waiting. For me, the most important thing is that he respects my decision and that his love for me is axiomatic. His past doesn't mean as much to me as who he is and who he wants to be. His faith, honesty, and integrity are what I look at. That being said, in THIS situation IN PARTICULAR...NO! No. No. No. Not because they are friends....but because HE LIED. He didn't tell the whole story to begin with. I can accept a lot of I'm sure anyone who knows me here already knows. Not lying. No. I am a strange one in that I want to know as much detail about their history as possible, anyway, that if he left out such an important detail as being good friends with an ex that he'd slept with that would absolutely be it. However, every person has their own boundaries, and if not being able to deal with them being friends with someone they've slept with (as I'm sure a lot of people are not) then there's absolutely nothing wrong with that, either. Everyone should follow their own hearts. I hope that you are doing better now. I, just a few months ago (3 exactly today), had my heart broken for the first time EVER, and I've only just started to be really ok. Thinking I might actually want to find love again...someday.
  7. Hello!

  8. Why I Don’t Hug Girls: Part 1

    I am sorry that, I guess, I misunderstood what you were saying, but it certainly did come across this way to me. I understand that some people aren't hungers, for the most part that's the way I am. However, I know from the experience from when my family lost my niece at four months old that even I needed the comfort of hugs from my friends as well as family. In fact, two of the three people in my life that I hold dearest to my heart as my best friends are males. Now, one I have yet to meet in person, but I imagine that when we do meet there will probably be hugs. The other has given me many hugs for different reasons. So have others, and I do not feel that it has led to anything else or that it gave them a right to me, as you said touching something that is not yours does. Honestly, I'm not sure how I misunderstood, because it actually did seem pretty clear cut to me, and this... What does it mean when you can touch something? It means you have access to it, that you have a right to it. Things you are not allowed to touch, you don’t have access to, and you don’t have a right to. Either it doesn’t belong to you, or your touch wouldn’t be good for it, like a priceless ancient artifact for instance. You say you're not telling people that it's wrong but this thought certainly gives a mixed message compared to your interpretation of what the bible says about men not touching women. When you said... If you hug your friends of the opposite gender, I hope maybe you will give your hugging habits a second thought. I’m not going to say you are absolutely in the wrong if you do hug members of the opposite gender…but I don’t think it’s a good idea. You do appear to be telling people it's wrong, if only in your own opinion. Yes, with what I know of touch, and being in counseling and my counselor seeing that my aversion to touch is connected to early childhood trauma, I do think that it's not something that should just be told to people as something they should want to change and be less comforting because the person is the opposite sex. I do think it's ok to have your own feelings about it. Some people truly are less affectionate. I am. To tell others to rethink their hugging habits, given that they are not making people uncomfortable, such as yourself, and forcing a hug, that was part of what gave me the impression that you were telling people it was wrong. On top of all that Jesus is our role model, and he touched, hugged, and cared for people of both genders. So, yes, I do think it's ok...even though I tend to be uncomfortable. Furthermore, I see you're new, and you don't know me at all yet. Sticking up for myself and my thoughts takes a lot out of me, as most of the time I don't feel like I have a right to even voice my thoughts and I still try to, all the while apologizing for offending anyone or being blunt. Also, I'm a little curious as to why you singled me out seemingly because I suggested help, but also said that this is only one facet of you and so I don't know. I never presume to know that I know a person I have never met. Also, I don't argue for the most part. On occasion my mind us changed, when a viewpoint makes sense enough to ME to consider. I am open minded, but I'm also strong in what I believe. I'm a little flustered because this is the first time that an article was shared and the person who wrote it joined shortly after and in a very polite way attacked just me. Which may not have been your intention, but it is how it felt. I apologize if I insulted you by my thoughts, but that was also not my intention.
  9. New here! :)

  10. Why I Don’t Hug Girls: Part 1

    Ok, now normally I am not a hugger. I don't like touch, and I am not touchy feely at all. However, for most people, and even me on occasion, touch is an important part of life. Not just with family, but with friends. I'm sure we all know that it actually helps babies grow and be healthy, that's been proven. The thing is, it's also been proven, and I've experienced it myself, that hugs, simple touches, holding hands, gentle forehead kisses, gentle caresses of the cheek when we cry, these things are beneficial to our health from anyone we feel close to. In some cases, even someone we don't know will step in and hug us, or let us cry on their shoulder and it's just as helpful. It also can elevate our mood and help in many mental health problems. How a simple hug demeans a woman and somehow makes a woman ok to just claim is somehow part of this thought process I can't figure out. Of course those are just my interpretation of the first part. It truly amazes me at how some people will justify their personal 'quirks' and make it seem like they have it all figured out. I mean, I have a lot of those kind of quirks, but I know that in general people need some things...and that makes ME the odd one. The difference is I accept certain things about myself, and work on the things that really I shouldn't just accept. Personally I felt like he needs to examine himself a little more and maybe seek help. Of course, this is probably just a small facet of him and it's hard to know for sure. Also, one last's one thing to hope that your spouse doesn't have many, or any, previous sexual partners, and even another thing to hope that they would not have kissing experience, but to think that no person should ever have held their hand or hugged them. I'm sorry, but if a man mentioned this to me as a problem he has...well, I would not feel like it was such a great loss to not end up his wife. I would never expect that from anyone, and I'd never tell my husband that he shouldn't hug other females, not would I feel comfortable with a man that expected me to not hug other males. With the kind of love I want comes a level of respect for their ability to Know the line, and a trust that he keeps the intimate affections for me.
  11. Give the Guy a Chance to be a Gentleman

    I agree on letting a man be a gentleman, and I do act and speak and dress in a manner that shows that's my standard. What I will say is this goes both ways. I want a man who is already a gentleman, a true MAN if you will. Someone who has already learned the value of being a gentleman BEFORE meeting me. Just as I don't believe it's his job to raise me, or my faith, I don't think it's my job to raise him into a gentleman. I expect it, as he should expect me to be a lady. I'm too old too try making a boy into a man, he needs to be ready-made. My mom and I, also, plan on raising my nephews to be ready-made gentleman for their future spouses. You see, that's my job as someone who is raising children. Just as my mom did her job in raising me to be a lady. I feel like this may be directed at one set of people, young women. However, I think this is a great thing for both young men and women to learn. That you can't expect a man to be a gentleman unless you are a lady, and vice verse. I feel like I may be sounding a little negative, but that's not my intent and I apologize if that's how it sounds.
  12. What would you do if...

    Well, I'm 37. I never thought I'd be waiting this long. However, I still will not change. I think we all go through stages of consideration, at least most do. I have, but I always come back to this...this is who I am, I want this for many reasons, and if I never marry? Well, I'm just happy that I've finally learned to accept that possibility and have found other things that make me happy.
  13. I wanted to be a Paleontologist when I was 8, by the time I was about 16 I wanted to be a Lawyer. Then, by the time I graduated I was in a Graphic Arts vocational class, and so that's what I did. For 7 years I worked at a newspaper in ad layout and design, and then I worked at a promotional products company for 8 years in the art department. Now, I stay at home and care for my nephew and take care of the house for my mom (who has custody of my nephew). That last part is a long story, but it works for us. So, yeah, I've wanted to do a few things in my life. Now, when my nephew is grown, I am planning on taking a trip through Europe and documenting my journey in a travel photography blog, as I've developed a love of photography since I was 13.
  14. Online dating?

    OK, before I give my thoughts, I am curious...based on your wording I feel like there's a possibility that maybe you have not waited until marriage. Have you? Or, have you decided at some point that you are now? For some people who are waiting that can important. So, you'll want to find out if that's something that's important to her. thoughts...Well, pretty much the same way as you would anyone else...just get to know her. A lot of people are open to long distance, but few will want to make anything official before meeting a person IN PERSON at least once, or even a few times, even if they've talked for a long time. From my experience, it is best to meet at least once, and go from there but it really does depend on the situation and the people involved. Try and talk to her and see if she's receptive, or even looking, and just become friends with her. I would go into it with no expectations of more than friendship and, after talking to her for a while, then maybe broach the subject of meeting and exploring more. This, also, gives you a chance to see if you're really interested and want to pursue her. Of course, we (women) are all different, so maybe she'll feel differently about time and stuff. It's hard to give exact advice because we are all so different. However, I think the best way to start would be to just talk to her. The biggest thing to remember is that, if she is waiting, she is in all likelihood going to want to take things slow. By the way...I see you're a new member here, welcome to the forums.
  15. What kind of bedroom do you want?

    Light and airy and lots of softness. Honestly, that's just a room I'd love to have myself, if I could. I don't have much of a preference for a room if married. Something we'd both like, I imagine. Although, I really do like the looks of old fashioned metal head and foot boards, or the modern look of platform beds.