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About PG1

  • Rank
    Realistic Dreamer
  • Birthday 12/24/1979

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  • Gender
  • Location
    : Arizona
  • Interests
    photography, reading, movies/tv, music,, hugh laurie youtube clips, jimmy fallon youtube clips, occasionally hiking/site seeing/road tripping/traveling, quotes

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  1. Ok. I've given this a lot of thought. As a victim, I must admit that your first post left me....confused, let's say, about your views. However I was also concerned with her, and where she seems to think she's at in the healing process. You see, I'm 38. I was 4 when my abuse occurred. I have had plenty of counseling and, although I'm sure some people are able to move on in just a few years time, my experience has been that things come up when we least expect them to. So, knowing, without a shadow of a doubt that your healed is a tricky conclusion. I know that, should I marry, I need a man who's not only caring and compassionate but also extremely patient. My advice is, if it's the start, as it seems to be...just take your time. Maybe you were just writing that first post in an unclear state of mind, but it does seem to indicate that this subject needs more attention on your part. If you do truly care for this girl, be there for her. If you fall in love with her, remember to take special care and always be open with her. Be her safe place. This kind of thing is not easy on anyone in a victims life, but remembering that we didn't have their experience is important. It hurts to know they've been through such pain, and that's natural. I would like to also say one thought that isn't really my place, but since I am a victim and am continually on a healing journey I feel I have to say this. Unless she has learned that this has not taken her value as aperson, and believes that she is worthy of a true and kind and loving relationship, and not just damaged goods (as is easy for us to believe as victims) I would put off marriage until she has worked through that and knows she's worth the world to you. I'm having a hard time trying to put this into words, but it's important that she knows, and believes and feels it, BEFOREHAND. If I can be of any help, please feel free to PM me.
  2. In all honesty, I think I've been on both sides of this. I tend to just let them fizzle out after a while because if the problem is shyness it will usually subside at least a little after a few awkward messages. Unfortunately I have been the problem. Things seem to go well but I end up not being able to take it further than communication. Anyway, it's really an odd problem to work out because everyone is different and the same all at the same time. If that makes sense to anyone but me.
  3. 2MetresAbove is is here!

  4. Random Thoughts

    Sometimes, I think about posting a thread to just say "Hi."
  5. In all honesty, when I look back at 'could have beens' it makes me feel one of two ways... 1. I'll get depressed thinking what it was about me, or them, that made it not happen. I know it's difficult for guys to ask out girls, but I even asked out a couple people and was turned down. I don't envy the male sex. That being said, I fall into a head space of 'what's wrong with me...' Answer? Oh so much. It's one reason I'm in counseling. However, them there's the second way... 2. there are instances I look back on and realized I dodged a bullet that it didn't go the way I wanted. I've also realized that the times I turned someone down because of a lack if attraction was not as shallow as I once thought. To most people physical attraction plays SOME part in wanting to get to know someone on a romantic level. Some people are more emotionally inclined, some physical...most of us are a combination. There is NOTHING wrong with this. The problem we face is making peace with our past. That's something we all owe to ourselves. I have also learned that what we find physically attractive can change over time, and allowing ourselves to accept how we are changing is very important. I know that my tastes have changed. There are guys I find attractive now that, say 10 years ago, I would not have found appealing. I'm sorry...I think maybe I went off topic? I'm not even sure if I answered the question clearly, but I've typed this all out.... :/ So im leaving it.
  6. Relational Comfort and Shaving Habits

    I wish I could put a big HEART for this.
  7. Have you any of the mental health facilities if the have a sliding scale option, or any other way to have therapy covered. I suggest looking into this because I know the place I go through has different options, even for people without insurance or any way to pay. Being in the state of mind that you're in is very difficult and I'll pray for you. Also, if you need to talk feel free to pm me. Sometimes it can help just to have someone to talk to, even if we don't really know them.
  8. self My Introduction

  9. I think you look gorgeous on this new pic PG1 :)


  10. Hi, recently joined

  11. Me

    Welcome to the forums.
  12. New here

  13. Hey everyone

    Welcome. I'm 37, still waiting. Glad to have you here.