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About joni_wtm

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  • Birthday 05/23/1977

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  1. Looking for Support

    Thank you all for your welcoming and supportive words! I look forward to reading posts and articles and seeing how things change for me now that I have made this choice for myself. It still surprises and saddens me when I think of all the conversations I've had with people where casual sex is just a normal accepted part of dating. It's always made me uncomfrotable. I've been called a prude or old fashioned because of it. I was even pressured by friends of one man I was seeing! They told me that I should hurry up and decide if I'm going to have sex with him or not becuase he's not going to wait forever!!! I didn't even know what to say. I just tried to laugh it off but it made me feel awful. I started thinking how they were right. I did come back to my senses and didn't end up continuing to see that man. But those attitudes seem to prevail.
  2. Looking for Support

    Hi to anyone reading this! I am really glad I came across this site. I felt so relieved when I found it and started reading the articles and some of the postings by members. I am hoping to find some supportive people on here. I am a divorced single mother. So, not exactly a But I know that I want to wait till marriage (again) before being intimate with anyone again. I know, tall order, right? Everyone has encouraged me to date since my marriage ended (nearly five years ago) and I have tried, cautiously. But every man I've met wants to have sex - and I don't want to. I am very up front about my intentions. I am very clear that what I am looking for is a long term committed relationship NOT a causal hook-up or one night stand. They all acknowledge what I've said and then proceed to behave in ways that are inconsistent with understanding what I mean. And then I have to put a stop to things! I've talked with my friends about it but they think I'm being unreasonable because "there's nothing wrong with two consenting adults having a little fun". They say things like "live a little" or "no guy is going to date you if you tell him you want to wait to have sex"...but I feel this is really important to me. I want to build a relationship and have commitment before physical intimacy because the intimacy does matter to me - a lot! And I don't think I'm being silly or unreasonable because of it. It’s hard feeling so alone in my point of view. Coming across this site has also helped me realize something very important about myself, that I do want to be married again! After my marriage ended (badly), I basically shunned the idea of marriage at all and started saying I want a long term committed relationship but don’t care if I get married again or not. But that’s not true. It’s not my truth. In my heart of hearts I know I want to be married. It has meaning to me and I value it. I’ve been so confused by the external voices vilifying marriage as some outmoded form of patriarchal control, that I couldn’t hear my own internal voice quietly saying, “marriage is important to me, and not because of what other people think of it, but because of what I think of it.†I hope just knowing that a whole community of people are out there feeling like I do gives me the strength to stay true to myself as I will now be telling anyone interested in dating that I am waiting till marriage...