bethreny

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About bethreny

  • Rank
    I'm more afraid of you than you are of me.

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Great White North
  • Interests
    I really enjoy Bible study, I'm a health nut (I eat mostly whole foods. The actual thing, not the grocery store), like finding new interesting ways to exercise (no gyms), love hiking, biking, fishing, and most things that can be done outside!

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  1. Last Meal?

    Ethiopian food. Beef, lamb, chicken tibs, gomen wot and tons of labneh with my kitfo. Then after I'm done eating all that, I'll eat the injera soaked in all the sauces Mmm I want some now...
  2. Engagement rings?

    It did not matter the size of the ring. I like unique rings, and I like the idea of having one that has a different type of gemstone on it, especially if it had meaning for my husband. Definitely would have worn the wedding band first to save money. I agree with the video that 'tis the Bearded One posted, I really do think the whole thing is somewhat of a scam. That being said, my ring is quite large, especially for me. It really sparkles. Add the wedding band and it's pretty extravagant; much fancier than I would have picked myself. But that's what makes it special. I'm not going to lie: I think it's beautiful, and I love wearing it. But I would have been happy with a much smaller one. I can't even wear mine to work anyways
  3. NYC pastor's list of men/women to avoid marrying

    One more thing I want to add about choosing a partner is that you can try to pick the most perfect person, but people can change. It can be just basic life circumstance that changes them, or even accident and illness. Most young women, especially sheltered women, don't know what to look for in order to avoid an abuser. Dating is the greatest time of deception in a relationship as well, for both parties. To tell them that they should have chosen someone better to marry...isn't that just yet another example of blaming the victim? I would say almost all of them would not choose to be in their position if they could see clearly into the future. I definitely think marriage is for keeps, and I don't take it lightly. But how come adultery is the only sin that suddenly gives someone a free pass to divorce? What about all the sins that lead up to the eventual adultery? I just don't understand how a person could be unfaithful in a million different ways, but as long as they don't put P in V, then their spouse will be doomed to a sexless, loveless marriage and/or life. Sin is sin. We all do it. Sinning against someone repeatedly and without remorse is what is the problem here. Whoops that wasn't one more thing, more like three or four.
  4. NYC pastor's list of men/women to avoid marrying

    'Tis the Bearded One, Yup, I have seen both sides. But in regards to those who I think gave up just because they weren't "happy", I really can't comment on, because I think unless you are in the marriage you don't know the whole story. In regards to Jesus dealing with divorce in the book of Matthew, I don't think I understand what you mean. He addressed it and explained to the people that God gave them that allowance because their hearts were hardened. That doesn't mean that divorce is good, but it was allowed for the protection of a woman and her not being tossed aside with no hope. Sure times are different, but a man who is an abuser has effectively tossed aside his wife. (I could argue that an abuser is worse, because not only does he treat his wife with contempt, but tries to keep her under his thumb of oppression. I have very little sympathy for the abuser.I should mention also that women can be abusers too, but the most extreme cases I have personally encountered have been men) It is extremely rare for an abuser to change his ways. The whole reason that a person would stick it out for that long is because she thinks things will get better. That or she believes it is a mortal sin to divorce. I also reject the idea of comparing suffering an abusive marriage to suffering for Christ. My husband is not my god, and neither should he be Satan himself. I don't think it necessary to wait for adultery to break a union with such a person. I am a direct relative of someone who broke away from her abusive husband for the protection of her children. After enduring his physical and emotional abuse for years, she finally left when he went after the kids directly. Let's not forget there are children involved in most of these situations. These kids have every right to the possibility of a father who is not an a-hole, whether there has been proof of adultery or not. Unfortunately in this situation the woman ended up with an abusive leech later on, but that's her story. And someone who has been in an abusive marriage definitely has to lay in their bed. They have years of garbage to deal with after the fact and often their lives are in danger. God is the God of the oppressed and He sees every tear that the oppressed spouse cries at night when no one else can see. Leaving an abusive marriage does not mean that you don't take marriage seriously, but that sometimes your life and the life of your children are important enough to save. Getting married again and providing for you and yours is not wrong.
  5. NYC pastor's list of men/women to avoid marrying

    " Marrying an older man shortens a woman’s lifespan, but having a younger husband reduces it even more, the study found. The findings, drawn from the medical records of two million Danish couples, suggest that the best a woman can do is marry a man of about the same age. Health records have shown previously that men live longer if they have a younger wife, an effect researchers expected to see mirrored in women who married younger men. However, a woman who is between seven and nine years older than her husband has a 20% greater mortality rate than if she were with a man the same age.†" Um so basically if a woman marries at all, her life will be shortened. But if a man marries a woman his life in lengthened (presumably even if he is younger than her, as that tidbit is conveniently absent). Maybe God does not want women to marry at all, seeing as it's bad for our health. But it makes a man's life longer...so maybe God hates women? Of course I don't believe that, just using it to point out that I think cherry picking any study or statistical analysis to prove that a certain decision is wrong (but not quite a *sin*) is not the best idea. Sure, I have done it myself, but it's not the best way to prove a point and way too easy to poke holes in. And he completely disregards the biblical allowance for a certificate of divorce for a woman whose husband has rejected her. No mention of adultery there, and it was intended to release the woman to be married again freely with no adultery accusations. I've known more than one woman who were terribly emotionally abused by their husbands. They had every right to leave, and God has the grace and mercy to pull these women out of abuse into healthy relationships and restoration. I disagree with a lot of what this guy had to say. Basically, do this exactly right. Oh, you did it wrong? Well you made your bed, now lay down. I'll be over here with the favored ones who did it right and don't have God's anger burning against them. I follow the letter, not the spirit.
  6. I have to ask...Orgasms

    I hear what you're saying, cookiemonster. Personally, I think masturbation is much different than the experience of sex, and I don't think you have to do it in order to figure out what you like. Really what it would do is let you know how you orgasm (how much pressure, movement, how long etc). But there is no requirement to figure that out beforehand. It might or might not take a little time for you and your partner to figure out what works if you haven't figured it out for yourself. The excitement would be more if someone else is touching you, and their movements would be different that yours, but your body will still be the same, and will feel the same(though more excited, and I would say more aroused depending on your situation. At least that is my experience.)
  7. How much does money matter?

    Nothing wrong with your car. If it still works? 👠You're good
  8. To christian guys

    I know I'm not a guy, but just wanted to say, the story of this girl breaks my heart. To have gone through such horrible things that I can't even imagine, and still have the ability to tell her story...she sounds like a very strong person to me. That she is going through healing and working through her hopelessness, and able to break free from her past...she sounds amazingly strong. I pray that she finds the kind of man that she is looking for!
  9. Random Thoughts

    I think that is actually a religious dress (possibly some Christian sect, though I don't know which, maybe someone will correct me on that one!). It may be that the KKK ripped off the idea from them initially. It's like the Nazis taking the swastika for their own use. You will see that symbol all over India, but I think it's supposed to represent peace (haha but someone might need to correct me on that too, as I am too lazy to check up on it right now ) That being said, I don't know anyone who would buy those either...
  10. How do you feel about being called "hot?"

    I like being called hot, or sexy. But only one person is allowed to do it as often as he likes 😀 I don't mind someone telling me that, as long as it's not done in a creepy way...Hasn't happened very often, but I have been told I was hot, more in a passing or conversational way, and it made me feel good. It's all in how it's done, I think
  11. PaulJustPaul, Thanks for this post, great insight. This sums up much of how I feel on the subject, just worded and laid out much better than I would have done! I don't expect others to feel the same way as me on this subject, everyone has the right to choose who they want to be with. But I have always thought of it in terms of me being in the other person's shoes. I would hope that I could be given a new beginning also.
  12. Random Thoughts

    Thanks, JesSea! I know there are worse things, but we really liked our bikes...on the upside I'm learning a lot about bike theft prevention technology We'll be prepared next time! (Not that my bike wasn't locked to a rack, in a gated parkade, surrounded by barbed wire😞😛)
  13. Random Thoughts

    Two different bikes. Two different cities. Both bikes stolen over the weekend. Thanks for the $1300 hit. Next time someone tries to steal my bike, I'll be prepared. They will feel my wrath 😡😠Or iust be scared off. Either one will do!
  14. I don't view waiting as a sexual orientation. It really was a choice for me, and one that I wasn't always happy about TBH. Sure, because of my personality, religion and upbringing, I was predisposed but I still believe it was my choice.
  15. I have to ask...Orgasms

    I think they're pretty important, and I get at least one every time, but I try my best not to keep score or live up to someone else's standard. I know people who can get 5 per session, but I am unable to do that. Every woman is different. If I don't get to orgasm, or not enough times, it takes much longer for me to reach a resting state where I still don't want to keep going. That would be why I think it's important. Otherwise I could keep going to the point of exhaustion...would sex still be good? Of course! But if I didn't have one then my body would feel like I didn't get the full satisfaction. Also, effort always has to be put into it for me, orgasms don't just happen. But I can get one during foreplay because I need a lot of it for sex to not be painful. Also, it's good to have a man who is a combination of patient and determined. Being sexually experienced does not magically give the knowledge to make every woman orgasm. I have to put in effort to make it happen (I don't agree with the woman laying there and making the man put in all the effort), but without my husband's cooperation it would probably not happen. Ok, this got a little more in detailed than I planned...I'm just going to hit post and hope for the best 😶