Buster Cannon

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Posts posted by Buster Cannon


  1. - I really like the fact that I've "dodged a lot of bullets", so to speak. No having kids before I'm ready, no STDs, less temptation because I don't have any memories to draw from; I honestly have no regrets about putting dating off while I was in school. Even without sex, just not being 'jaded' from past relationships and having a clean slate is a great thing. 

     

    - The feeling of 'going against the grain' is cool. In today's culture where hook-ups are common, being able to say "I'm saving sex until marriage" is acknowledging that I'm taking the road less traveled. Sure, being an outlier can be lonely at times, but at the same time I feel like I'm setting an example. A lot of people don't even think that it's possible to not have sex, and honestly it's a guilty pleasure of mine to see people's shocked reactions when they realise that you're a v-card holder.

    8 people like this

  2. As someone who loves fitness it's no surprise I would like a woman who is fit. But also just as important is the person who may not be in the best shape, but is actively doing something to improve her physique be it by walking, jogging, lifting weights or eating healthy. So yeah I'd like an athletic woman but I wouldn't mind someone who's a little on the skinny or fat side as long as she tries to be healthy. I'm skinny and doing my part to get more muscular.

     

    Pretty much this. Fitness and nutrition are something that I'm into, and I'd need someone who's at least willing to eat better and exercise. She doesn't have to look like a supermodel, but she should be putting the effort in to be healthy. 

     

    Body type is important to me in that there are certain ones that I don't find attractive. I know that inner beauty is important, but it's not mutually exclusive with outward appearance. If someone's super overweight I more than likely wouldn't find them physically attractive, even if they had the personality traits and values that I'm looking for in a future spouse.

    2 people like this

  3. I know exactly how you feel, man. I'm 30 and recently lost my job and am still at home but I'm back in school for a career change. Even so, I feel like no girl would even consider dating me in this situation until I start making money and have a house. Sometimes it's hard dealing with society's expectation that guys have to have all our ducks in a row financially before we're worth marrying or even dating. I know that most women want financial stability in a guy, but I would hope that my working hard towards bettering myself would be enough for her. But sometimes it feels like that is too much to hope for.

     

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    I've struggled with this one a LOT, honestly it's the one hesitation that I've had in regards to dating. I graduated from college 2 years ago and I have a steady job, but I also live with my parents. I'm paying student loans off and the cost of living in my area is sky high! At this point I think there's something to be said about a couple that's willing to endure the growing financial pains of starting a career together. Society has us jumping through all these hoops before we're "ready for marriage", but I don't believe that it's supposed to be this way, especially since true 'stability' may not come for some folks until their early 30's. This is especially hard for waiters, as we're holding ourselves off while our hormones have been ready to go for years lol.

    6 people like this

  4.  

    Really interesting segment on the Steve Harvey show featuring waiters! My parents showed me this (they had it recorded) and I was ready for something cringe-worthy, but I was pleasantly surprised! I really like the fact that, for once, male waiters weren't made out to be weird or awkward, just relatively normal folks that WTM. It was nice of Steve to help them out in their search for a partner as well.

     

    There was a follow-up too:

     

     

    Thoughts?

    13 people like this

  5. America has, throughout most of its history, been both extremely religious and extremely racist. I'm more than certain that the average person living in the 19th century South -- probably one of the most highly religious places in a highly religious time period -- would've told you that slavery was condoned by Christianity. So it is certainly more than possible for someone to be both a sincere Christian and a sincere racist. I've met more than one in my life.

    I disagree with the notion that someone can be a 'sincere Christian' while being a racist. They may have been saved, but I wouldn't consider them to be walking in their faith. Jesus said that the greatest commandment was to love your God will all of your heart, mind, and strength. The second is to love your neighbor as yourself. (Matthew 22:37-39)

    That said, I find it ridiculous that a practicing Christian can look at another human being and consider them 'inferior' based on the color of their skin. It runs against the heart of the Gospel entirely!

    6 people like this

  6. You're on a first date finishing dinner at a nice restaurant.  The waiter sets the check down at your table.  Do you take it or wait for her to offer to pay her own?  What do you do?

     

    I'd pay it, especially in that situation since it would have been me asking her out in the first place lol. If I ask someone on a date, I shoulder the responsibility of making sure the date is well-planned and that it runs smoothly. That includes paying for dinner and all that jazz.

    3 people like this

  7. Something that Vince posted in another thread got me thinking:

     

     

     

    Well the first thing we need to keep in mind is that we're never going to get 100% everything we want in a spouse. God never even promises that we will get a spouse at all let alone one that meets all our nitty gritty expectations. Relationships is an area where I think we often over-spiritualize by thinking God has this one special person set aside since the beginning of time. That I think is something that has been influenced by American Christian culture. When biblically speaking, all He did was set guidelines on what a Christian marriage should be like. Outside of that, I believe we have the freedom to choose our partner based on following His way or not. Otherwise Samson would not have been allowed to disobey God by marrying Delilah.

     

    I completely agree. That said, I'm curious as to where the notion that "God has a special person set aside for you" comes from. Most of my friends at church fall into this mindset, to the point that they believe that not marrying the person that God directed you to would be a sin of disobedience. We have clear Biblical standards set for spouses/marriage, so to me all this extra stuff seems like romance with a "Christian cover", so to speak.

     

    What are your opinions on these different schools of thought when it comes to finding a spouse? Have you run into either fairly often within your church/community?

    5 people like this

  8.  In short, the more extra protein to show off, the more potentially available to make babies.  Men, by extension (see what I did there?), have been selected by nature to find long hair more attractive.  One of the common behaviors a woman might exhibit when she wants to show interest in a man is to "let down her hair" or twirl it or flair it out.  Hell, it even makes her feel good to do it, so the instincts are quite primal.  Nature gave her natural habits to show off her abundance.  These are just some of the simpler examples of how nature uses the machines of attraction to maximize success for the species.

     

    Interesting... I've always felt that long hair looked better on women b/c it had a more 'feminine' appearance to it. I've never been crazy about short hair but never really understood why, it's interesting to know what the natural (heh) reasons for that are.

    2 people like this

  9. I definitely prefer longer hair over shorter. Likewise, when it comes to black women, I much prefer the natural (but grown out) look. I'm a big fan of the twists and afros myself.  ^_^

    3 people like this

  10. Really, I only make the changes for a week or 2. By then, I'll just get too depressed to keep up the changes.

    Are you making these changes just to be more attractive to women, or are you doing them out of a drive for self-improvement? If you're just doing it for women, you're going to look at the lack of results, get frustrated, and quit. Improvement takes time, far more than a week or 2 before you really see any results. I'd advise continuing to work on yourself, but do it for your own good and not because you think that women will flock to you for it.

    3 people like this

  11. Like Steadfast Madcap said, someone having kids doesn't disqualify them from being a waiter.  However, them having kids would definitely be a dealbreaker for me in terms of dating them.

     

    Honestly, I'd much rather start my own family instead of jumping into a ready-made one. It's an easier adjustment, there's no potential drama with the child's birth father, and we get to learn how to be parents together. With a blended family situation, I'd have to be a father from day one, meanwhile I'm still trying to get the hang of the husband thing.

    3 people like this

  12. I guess this is really just a lot of words for: "Why should waiters live in pain for doing the right thing?"  Well, as just another fellow waiter, I must say I know the pain of everyone here telling the truth.  In particular, I am sure the men think and feel as I do, at least, but I am quite sure it is much the same for the ladies too.  However, I refuse to cry about it.  I realize that this is a support group, but I find myself now knowing that I am not alone.  This has turned my sorrow into anger, because now I realize that there are more people I care about in pain too, and they didn't do anything wrong!  I hope that gets other people mad too, because I don't think this is a very good direction for humanity to be headed.  It doesn't benefit humanity at all to smash the hopes and dreams of those who work hard to bring more dignity into waiting until marriage by choosing to.

     

    Is there anything anybody thinks we should do about this?  I don't think waiting without neither a plan, or for that matter, more importantly, without help from fellow waiters is going to cut it anymore.  I kind of riled myself up at the end of this post; and now, I am really mad that people are being penalized for doing the right thing.  I am open to suggestions about what to do about it, because I don't want to simply vent about the problems we might all be having.  I want to solve the problem because it has gone on for long enough.  I think we owe it to ourselves because we are worth it.  I don;t want to apologize for waiting, and I don't think anyone else should either.

     

    My belief is this: doing the right thing doesn't guarantee us happiness. Waiting is hard, no doubt, but at the same time I don't believe that I'm owed a spouse just for doing it. "Doing the right thing is its own reward" and all that jazz. We aren't being "penalized", it's just the simple fact that in 2015, these streets aren't exactly waiter-friendly. The best thing a waiter can do is continue to develop grow (spiritually/mentally/physically/career/etc.), so that they continue to become a stronger version of themselves. The waiting process itself builds character.

    4 people like this

  13. For what it's worth, the author of the article posted a follow-up article addressing the inquiries in the area of independence:

    https://deepstrength.wordpress.com/2015/05/01/independent-versus-self-sufficient-and-responsible/

    @Jegsy:

    I think you took some of the author's pints to the logical extreme lol. Just a few notes based on your post:

    - In general, lifting heavy weights doesn't turn you into a super muscle-y dude. You'll look leaner and more toned, but getting huge is something entirely different.

    - Speaking slowly in terms of not rushing your words, not sounding like a condescending jerk lol. As someone who's struggled with talking too fast in the past, the worst thing that can happen is someone asking you to repeat yourself. Speaking slowly and more deliberately gives your audience the opportunity to follow along with you comfortably

    - Sitting with your legs slightly open is much different than going full spread eagle. The point is that you want to look comfortable in your surroundings, not hunched up and timid

    - If a guy struggles with insecurity thinking that he might not get married, he needs to work on that. Part of developing attractiveness for a man involves building confidence. As a Christian, his confidence should come first and foremost from God, but also through overcoming challenges, taking steps to improve in weak areas, etc.

    - A lot of this stuff may look like common sense, but as the saying goes, common sense isn't so common. You'd be surprised at the attitudes/assumptions of the average church goer