Buster Cannon

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Posts posted by Buster Cannon


  1. When you say that you aren't sure how you feel about her, what do you mean? Do you have a good idea of what you're looking for in a wife? I say this because knowing what you want puts you in a better position to evaluate her and see whether you want to take things further. You'll know what questions to ask to find out the things about her that you consider important.

    That said, it may not be a bad idea to ask her on a date. It may be a good opportunity to get to know her better, and you're in a better position to see whether you want to move on to something more serious or not.

    3 people like this

  2. This is a hot-button issue that comes up in my circle of friends every once and a while. There's often a debate about engagement rings and how much the man should spend on them. So my questions are:

    • Does it matter how large the engagement ring is?
    • Does the ring have to be a diamond, or would other [cheaper] gemstones work?
    • Would you be okay with wearing a wedding band temporarily in order to save money in the long run?
    2 people like this

  3. You know, for all the bible I see referred to in this rediculous list, it isn't even consistent.  I don't even have to give all the examples, I can just make one with a tremendous amount of impact.  Might I remind everyone that God Himself Commanded Hosea to marry a HARLOT ???  That's right!  Look up the book of Hosea; I am dead serious.  I guess Hosea is going to hell because he followed God's Commands.  But don't PROSELYTIZE again now !!!  We don't want to leave out that Hosea is going to hell because he followed God to the letter, now do we?  That would mean that we don't love him enough!

     

    That's more of an "exception but not the rule" type of thing. God often had the prophets do some pretty out-there stuff for the sake of illustration. In Hosea's case, marrying Gomer was God's way of showing the Israelites how they were treating Him. That doesn't necessarily mean that God wants us all to go out and marry prostitutes.

     

    In Christian belief, is accepting Jesus as savior all that is required for salvation? I thought the reason Jesus was necessary is that living righteously is impossible as it is a very strict and difficult life. So now we have to accept Jesus, and still live as strictly as before he came in order to have salvation? So it isn't by grace alone?

     

    What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? Certainly not! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it? (Romans 6:1-2)

     

    Grace is what saves us from the eternal consequences of sin, but that doesn't mean that we're supposed to just do whatever we want in the meantime. Walking with Christ is a journey, complete with many failures - as humans we're imperfect and we can't uphold God's standard 100% of the time. That doesn't mean that we can't do our best to try, but we'll always fall short.

    2 people like this

  4. Eh, everyone has those awkward social moments, just try not to focus on them as much. I've had moments that make me cringe looking back at them even now, but chances are that you're looking at them far more critically than your friends are. The best thing to do is come to terms with what happened, examine it (and see where you can make corrections if possible), and then let it go. Past social failures can really get you down if you let them.

    4 people like this

  5. http://nycpastor.com/2014/12/29/10-women-christian-men-should-not-marry/

    http://nycpastor.com/2014/10/23/10-men-christian-women-should-not-marry/

     

    A pastor wrote these really thought-provoking lists in regards to finding a spouse as a Christian, and I think he makes some really good points on both lists.

     

     

    10 WOMEN CHRISTIAN MEN SHOULD NOT MARRY

    By Dr. Stephen Kim

    In a former post, I detailed 10 men that Christian women ought to avoid when considering marriage.  Today, I present to you my list for Christian men.

    “I have perceived among the youths, a young man lacking sense, passing along the street near her corner, taking the road to her house†(Proverbs 7:7-8).

     

    1. The Unbeliever. Scripture is replete with exhortations against such marriages (in both the Old and New Testaments).  Contrary to popular misconception, God’s prohibition against marriages to foreign women in the Old Testament was not due to racism.  Instead, God was simply preventing the spread of idolatry.  Israel, God’s chosen people in the Old Testament, represented what Christians would later represent in the New Testament.  Hence, God’s prohibition against marrying an unbelieving woman in the New Testament (2 Cor 6:14) is simply the extension of God prohibiting a Hebrew man from from marrying a Canaanite woman in the Old Testament (Deut 7:3-4).  “Do not intermarry with them. Do not give your daughters to their sons or take their daughters for your sons, for they will turn your children away from following me to serve other gods, and the LORD’s anger will burn against you and will quickly destroy you†(Deut 7:3-4).

    What then, is a believer?  A Christian essentially is someone who believes in the gospel of Jesus Christ.  What then, is the gospel?  The gospel is: 1. God is holy, loving, and just.  He therefore, must condemn all sinners to punishment in the flames of eternal hell;  2. You and I are all sinners who deserve nothing but God’s wrath in hell after our deaths; 3. God loved humanity so much that He sent His only Son, Jesus (who was fully God and fully man), to die on the cross for your sins.  Jesus paid the debt for your sins and absorbed God’s wrath on your behalf.  3 days later, Jesus resurrected from the dead; 4. If you repent (turn from) all your sins and personally put your faith in Jesus Christ as your Lord, God and Savior, then you will have eternal life. (For more information on the saving message of the gospel, click here.)

     

    2. The Divorcee. Jesus clearly taught that unless the first marriage ended due to a partner’s sexual infidelity, a second marriage is to be considered invalid and adulterous (I explain this teaching further here).  A divorced woman, therefore, is off limits for a Christian man–unrepentant adultery being a sin that prevents one from obtaining eternal life (1 Cor 6:9).  “If she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery†(Mark 10:12). “And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery†(Matthew 19:9).

     

    3. The Older Woman. Not a sin, but certainly not God’s ideal.  God expects men to be the spiritual leaders of the home (Eph 5:25) and it certainly requires an extra measure of grace to lead a woman who’s older than you.  Again, if you’re a man and you’re already in such a marriage, then honor it till the day you die–it’s still a valid marriage and divorce is not an option!  However, if you’re not yet married but thinking about an older woman I want to remind you that God intentionally (with good reason!) created Adam before Eve in the First Marriage.  Scripture informs us that God created man first chronologically for the sake of authority!  Listen:  “I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve†(1 Timothy 2:12-13).  Evidently, within the First Marriage, God intended chronology (age) to be a reason for authority.

    Apparently, even secular researchers are now beginning to discover results that back up God’s wisdom as demonstrated in the Bible:

    • “If you’re a woman two or more years older than your husband, your marriage is 53 percent more likely to end in divorce than if he was one year younger to three years older.†(Source: Rebecca Kippen, Bruce Chapman and Peng Yu, “What’s Love Got to Do With It? Homogamy and Dyadic Approaches to Understanding Marital Instability,†Melbourne Institute of Applied Economic and Social Research, 2009.)
    • “Marriage generally improves life expectancy, but the age gap between a couple affects the life expectancy of men and women very differently.  Marrying an older man shortens a woman’s lifespan, but having a younger husband reduces it even more, the study found.  The findings, drawn from the medical records of two million Danish couples, suggest that the best a woman can do is marry a man of about the same age. Health records have shown previously that men live longer if they have a younger wife, an effect researchers expected to see mirrored in women who married younger men. However, a woman who is between seven and nine years older than her husband has a 20% greater mortality rate than if she were with a man the same age.†(Source: http://www.theguardian.com/science/2010/may/12/marrying-younger-man-woman-mortality)
    • “A new study shows that women who marry men seven to nine years younger than they are increase their mortality risk by 20 percent. This is the opposite of the finding for men who marry much younger wives – their life expectancy increases. The new study from the Max Planck Institute for Demographic Research in Rostock, Germany, changes assumptions about how marriage can extend life, owing in part to improved support systems spouses can provide for one another, and the supposed psychological benefit from having a younger spouse, who could become a caretaker should the older spouse become infirm.†(Source: http://www.cbsnews.com/news/for-married-women-age-gap-can-be-deadly/)

    4. The Feminist.  There’s no room within Christendom for the “Christian feminist.† Though women and men have equal value in the eyes of God (Gal 3:28), they certainly have different God-given roles.  Any woman who tries to usurp her husband’s authority or even claims to be a co-leader with her man is gravely dishonoring the God who created her to be subject and obedient to her husband (Eph 5:22, Col 3:18, 1 Pet 3:1).   Eve was distinctly created “for†man, a point that the apostle Paul makes abundantly clear in 1 Corinthians 11 when he writes, “For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.†(1 Corinthians 11:8-9).  Men, your wife is to be your “helper†(Gen 2:18)–not your leader and certainly not your equal in terms of authority.  Look for a woman who agrees with you in this very vital God-ordained relational dynamic.

     

    5. The Immodest-Dresser.  Sexy might inadvertently catch your eyeballs, but it shouldn’t catch your heart.  The way that a woman is willing to expose herself says much about her heart: “And behold, the woman meets him, dressed as a prostitute, wily of heart†(Proverbs 7:10).  The text in Proverbs explains that a woman will dress in a certain way to catch a certain type of man.  Don’t be that man.  Don’t be the fool who’s led by his hormones instead of the Holy Spirit.  Remember: you want godly, not gaudy.  

     

    6. The Gossiper/Slanderer.  Women may love to talk, but there’s wisdom in looking for a woman who speaks with wisdom. Gossip and slander are not good things to have in your marriage. Desperate housewives make for desperate husbands.  “Besides that, they learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not.†(1 Timothy 5:13).

     

    7. The Childbirth Avoider. Do not marry a woman who is not willing to have children of her own.  In the Christian worldview, there is absolutely no room for two married, biologically capable, human beings to remain intentionally child-less.  If you are adverse towards having children, then there’s a simple remedy for that: single-hood.   However, if God has called you to marriage, then He actually expects children.  Both the New and Old Testaments are very clear on this teaching: “Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring†(Malachi 2:15).  “Yet she will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control†(1 Timothy 2:15).

     

    8. The Wander-Luster.  There’s nothing wrong with the occasional family vacation.  There is something very wrong with a girl who regularly needs to be “out of the home.† The constant desire for new experiences, new places, new faces, and new forms of entertainment only serves to clearly manifest the fact that the woman has not found her rest in God.  Believe it or not, Scripture speaks repeatedly about such women:  “She is loud and wayward; her feet do not stay at home†(Proverbs 7:11); “Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also busybodies who talk nonsense, saying things they ought not to†(1 Timothy 5:13).

     

    9. The Career-first Woman. Now, I want to clarify something here.  There is nothing wrong with a woman who works (Acts 16:14), what’s wrong is a woman who puts her career ahead of her family.  Modern American society might hate to hear this, but God made men to be the providers and women to be the nurturers of the home (in most instances).  It’s okay for a woman to be a doctor, attorney, or any other professional.  However, if her career is coming at the expense of her home, then something is wrong.  If day-care is raising her young children while she’s working, then something is wrong.  I understand that there might be a season of life where the wife might have to be the main bread-winner due to her husband’s unemployment, but it should not be the desired norm. The woman ought to be willing (and even desirous–to some extent) to give up her job for the sake of raising her kids in the Lord.  “So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander†(1 Tim 5:14).

     

    10. The Devotion-less Woman.  Is the woman having a regular, daily devotional time with her God?  If she doesn’t love the Lord now, chances are, she won’t love the Lord after marriage.  (Don’t delude yourself–you’re not going to change her.)  You want to marry a girl who has an intimate relationship with Jesus.  Jesus (not you) has to be the first man in her life.  Here are some good questions to ask: Does she have an active prayer life?  Does she have a heart for evangelism?  Is she hungry for God’s Word?  What does her pastor think about her?

    Do you remember this account from Scripture:

    Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. [39] And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his teaching. [40] But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.†[41] But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, [42] but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.†(Luke 10:38-42 ESV)

    Marry the Mary (no pun intended).  Such women have picked “…the good portion, which will not be taken away†from them. God be with you men.  Strong families start with strong wives.  Choose wisely and choose in the Lord!

     

     

    10 Men Christian Women Should Not Marry:

     

    1. The Unbeliever. Seems quite simple, but I’ve met too many who’ve married unbelievers thinking that they’ll change them. Rarely happens. “Missionary Dating†is unbiblical and will only rob you of true marital bliss. Remember that God forbids it: “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.†(2 Cor 6:14)

    What then, is a believer?  A Christian essentially is someone who believes in the gospel of Jesus Christ.  What then, is the gospel?  The gospel is: 1. God is holy, loving, and just.  He therefore, must condemn all sinners to punishment in the flames of eternal hell;  2. You and I are all sinners who deserve nothing but God’s wrath in hell after our deaths; 3. God loved humanity so much that He sent His only Son, Jesus (who was fully God and fully man), to die on the cross for your sins.  Jesus paid the debt for your sins and absorbed God’s wrath on your behalf.  3 days later, Jesus resurrected from the dead; 4. If you repent (turn from) all your sins and personally put your faith in Jesus Christ as your Lord, God and Savior, then you will have eternal life. (For more information on the saving message of the gospel, click here.)

     

    2. The Younger Man. Now, I wouldn’t necessarily call this one a sin, but I would certainly say that it is not God’s ideal. (And why would you want anything less than God’s ideal for marriage?)  We all know that wives are called to submit to their husbands, as to the Lord (Eph 5:22). God explicitly calls men to be the spiritual leaders of their families. En route to making the first marriage, God created Adam first, and then Eve. Did God have a wise reason for creating Adam first or was the first marriage randomly constructed by God?  According to the apostle Paul, it was not done arbitrarily. Instead, this was done for the sake of authority. As Paul informs us, authority flows from chronology: “I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve†(1 Timothy 2:13-14). In other words, age matters–generally within society but especially within marriage (hence, Paul’s use of “Adam and Eveâ€).  Evidently, within the First Marriage, God intended chronology (age) to be a reason for authority.

     

    I would definitely call for wives who are already married in this situation to still submit to their younger husbands as the Bible commands (divorce is not an option), but they’ll need an extra measure of God’s grace as the natural fallen tendency of all daughters of Eve is to usurp their husbands’ authority (Gen 3:16). To those who are not yet wed, I would plead with you to marry an older Christian man. It is God’s ideal and your marriage will be happier for it.

     

    Don’t want to believe that God knew what He was doing when He intentionally made the male older in the First Marriage?  Okay then, here’s some statistics from secular research that backs up God’s wisdom:

    • “If you’re a woman two or more years older than your husband, your marriage is 53 percent more likely to end in divorce than if he was one year younger to three years older.†(Source: Rebecca Kippen, Bruce Chapman and Peng Yu, “What’s Love Got to Do With It? Homogamy and Dyadic Approaches to Understanding Marital Instability,†Melbourne Institute of Applied Economic and Social Research, 2009.)â€Marriage generally improves life expectancy, but the age gap between a couple affects the life expectancy of men and women very differently.
    •  Marrying an older man shortens a woman’s lifespan, but having a younger husband reduces it even more, the study found.  The findings, drawn from the medical records of two million Danish couples, suggest that the best a woman can do is marry a man of about the same age. Health records have shown previously that men live longer if they have a younger wife, an effect researchers expected to see mirrored in women who married younger men. However, a woman who is between seven and nine years older than her husband has a 20% greater mortality rate than if she were with a man the same age.†(Source: http://www.theguardian.com/science/2010/may/12/marrying-younger-man-woman-mortality)â€
    • A new study shows that women who marry men seven to nine years younger than they are increase their mortality risk by 20 percent. This is the opposite of the finding for men who marry much younger wives – their life expectancy increases. The new study from the Max Planck Institute for Demographic Research in Rostock, Germany, changes assumptions about how marriage can extend life, owing in part to improved support systems spouses can provide for one another, and the supposed psychological benefit from having a younger spouse, who could become a caretaker should the older spouse become infirm.†(Source: http://www.cbsnews.com/news/for-married-women-age-gap-can-be-deadly/)

    3. The Spiritually Younger Man. Though age is important, a man’s spiritual maturity is also important (and by the way, please don’t bamboozle yourself by saying, “Well, as long as he’s SPIRITUALLY older than me, his age doesn’t matter–as I’ve laid out in point two, it does matter!). Look for a man who will love you as Christ loved the Church (Eph 5:25), and if he doesn’t even know “how†Christ loved the Church, then it’s time for you to find another man. He must lead you as Christ led His Church. Too many women date spiritually immature men who only lead them to the murky waters of marital spiritual loneliness. Make sure he’s grounded in a local church. Speak to his pastor and his elders. Have devotionals together. Marriage is a serious decision. Take serious steps.

     

    4. The Divorced Man. This one’s fairly straight-forward in Scripture: “Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery†(Luke 16:18; I explain this prohibition further here). Bottom line: Any 2nd marriage is adultery in the eyes of God, unless the 1st marriage terminated due to adultery.

    What to do if you’re in a 2nd marriage that’s really viewed as adultery in the eyes of God?  Same thing I would advise a “married†gay couple in NY state if they came to faith in Christ–immediately break it up!  Of course, it won’t be emotionally easy, but the eternal destiny of your soul depends upon a correct response on this issue (1 Cor 6:9).

     

    5. The Angry Man. Men who cannot control their emotions prior to marriage will, in all likelihood, be angry men after marriage. Try not to rationalize this one by saying, “Well, I deserved that…I made him angry.†Outbursts of anger are bouts of sin and there’s no excuse. Furthermore, those things usually turn into domestic abuse later on. Remember, marriage is about love. I know, it sounds easy to remember, but you’d be surprised.
    “Fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.†(Galatians 5:20-21 ESV)

     

    6. The Self-Admirer. I know, I know, you want a good looking spouse. That desire is not a bad thing. But if a man is spending more time at the gym and in front of the mirror than at church and in God’s Word, then that man won’t love you as Christ loved the Church. In fact, he won’t love you–period. He loves himself and he probably just wants you for physical pleasure. If he’s changing profile pictures often, obsessing over his looks and photo angles, then be wary. “For everything in the world–the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life–comes not from the Father but from the world.†(1 John 2:16)

     

    7. The Dishonest. I once had a man come to me and say, “Pastor, I have a confession to make. I’ve lied for years to my wife about __________, and the wife has now discovered my dishonesty.†We have since split ways and I no longer pastor him, but last I heard, she was no longer living with him and was processing a divorce. Marriage is built on trust. Without it, the entire enterprise quickly unravels. Women, if he’s lied to you before marriage, he’ll keep it up after. If he’s having sex before marriage, he’ll likely cheat on you after marriage. Look for a honest guy. Pray for one. Remember that the devil is the father of lies (John 8:44).

     

    8. The Addict. Whether it’s porn or drugs, if you’ve discovered that your boyfriend is an addict, stop dating him and talk to his church leaders about it. At the moment, the man needs help–not a wife. Men who’ve covered up their sins while continuing to go to church are some of the worst deceivers. They’re also usually self-deluded. And no matter how much he pleads with you, let it go. The man needs Jesus–not a woman. Until the bondage is broken, release him to Christ (Exodus 20:3).

     

    9. The Idle. If his idea of an ideal marriage is letting you work while he stays home sleeping and relaxing, then you should find another man. There is a deep theology to work and in fact, if the man is not providing for his family, the Bible calls him worse than an unbeliever (1 Timothy 5:8).

     

    10. The Un-Evangelist. Okay, maybe I made up the term, but the point is clear (Mark 16:15). If the man says that he believes in the gospel of Jesus Christ–meaning that there is 1. a literal hell awaiting unbelievers, 2. grace and pardon available to all who put their faith in Jesus–but he simultaneously does NOT evangelize…does he really believe? Does he really love God? Does he really love people? Will he ever love you the way Christ loved and died for His Church (when evidently, he’s too ashamed to even proclaim the death of Christ)?

     

    Self-proclaimed atheist Penn Jillette once put it well:
    “I’ve always said that I don’t respect people who don’t proselytize. I don’t respect that at all. If you believe that there’s a heaven and a hell, and people could be going to hell or not getting eternal life, and you think that it’s not really worth telling them this because it would make it socially awkward—and atheists who think people shouldn’t proselytize and who say just leave me alone and keep your religion to yourself—how much do you have to hate somebody to not proselytize? How much do you have to hate somebody to believe everlasting life is possible and not tell them that? I mean, if I believed, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that a truck was coming at you, and you didn’t believe that truck was bearing down on you, there is a certain point where I tackle you. And this is more important than that.â€

     

    All that’s very true. How much do you have to hate somebody to not evangelize? “How much do you have to hate somebody to believe everlasting life is possible and not tell them that?†Unless, of course, he really doesn’t believe…but then, we would discover ourselves back at warning point number 1 of this post.

     

    Choose well, ladies. The church loves you and prays for you to have delightful, God-honoring marriages. May God bless and guide your way.

     

    Thoughts?

    4 people like this

  6. Lol, you definitely don't need a new car. Shoot, I'm driving a '97 Toyota Corolla with over 250k miles on it, and I'm gonna ride this thing out until it dies. It's paid for, the maintenance is dirt cheap, it's reliable, and it gets me where I need to go.

    I would hang on that Honda as long as possible if I were you, at 130k miles that thing is still a baby.

    Also, I don't recommend getting stuff to impress people. Telling someone that they need a new car because it's a little old is very shallow and ignorant. Some of the wealthiest people drive older and less flashy cars. It's financially smart, and it also shows that you're secure enough to not need to 'prove' your wealth to others.

    9 people like this

  7. I've been pulled over once; went through a crosswalk without stopping for a passenger that wanted to cross. It was completely my fault since I didn't pay attention to the "you MUST stop for pedestrians" sign, but thankfully the officer let me off with a warning.

     

    Personally, I have never been confronted with police, although I'd honestly like to try. I've been preparing exactly what to say and it'd probably be a cool experience. (Assuming I'm still a law abiding citizen!) :lol:

     

    As a black man in America, this just makes me go jYkYZSsp5HFU1.png

    7 people like this

  8. MaavhoSg6MLn2voua6tg.png

     

    Ehh...

     

    I think his general premise is good; encouraging young ladies to stay away from guys that would cause her to compromise in the area of purity. That's a positive thing. I also liked the fact that he explained how sex bonds individuals and that it shouldn't be taken lightly.

     

    However, I didn't care for the way he throws dudes under the bus. He does nothing but compliment women, but for the guys you constantly hear "boys are dumb" along with different things that guys need to do better in their relationships with women. I don't know if he realizes this, but men aren't the only gender that tend to pressure/manipulate others to get sex. Encouraging purity is a great thing, but that "only real man in the room" routine where you put other guys down while holding women up as flawless just isn't a good look.

    9 people like this

  9. I honestly don't feel any pressure to look a certain way. Sure, in movies you see folks with perfect six packs, but I don't feel like I have to look like that. I eat healthy and exercise frequently, but it's more for me than it is to attract someone. Physical attractiveness tends to be more important on women than it is for men.

    That said, exercise does help with a man building his attractiveness, but it's not necessarily related to how he looks. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle can help build confidence and discipline, which are attractive traits.

    5 people like this

  10. Came across this vid on Facebook:

    While I don't agree with the opinion of the guy in the vid at all (he does have some other really good vids), it does raise an interesting question. Thoughts?

    Personally, I couldn't do it. I feel that this is a little further beyond simply overlooking someone's past, because now you're talking about willingly contracting a disease. That's something that I'd rather avoid to be honest.

    4 people like this

  11. Good topic! A few thoughts:

    1) As Christians we are called to love everyone, showing grace, compassion, and the fruits of the Spirit. Showing love and choosing someone as a lifelong marriage partner are two completely different ballgames. Personally, I think it's wise to be discerning when it comes to looking for a spouse.

    2) A person's past isn't a forgiveness issue when considering someone for marriage. They didn't sin against you, they sinned against God, so there isn't a burden of forgiveness of your end. You make the choice as to whether you want to accept the person and move forward in the relationship. If you don't feel like you'd be comfortable with someone that has a sexual history, that's fair. If sexual history doesn't bother you, that's fine too. There's no 'right' preference, everyone has their own threshold for what they can and can't handle.

    3) Biblically, divorce is only stated as 'okay' in the case of adultery. Once you commit to a spouse, the relationship is supposed to be 'til death do us part'.

    9 people like this

  12. On a slight tangent...it annoys me when men are disgusted by fat on a woman's stomach (ect.) but loves big breasts. Someone needs a science lesson is they don't realise that they are the same thing. A woman with a flat chest is simply one with less fat, just like the woman with the flat stomach. Why guys don't get this I don't know. Squishy boobs and squishy stomachs are the same thing. They're just fat and they're just like what guys have.

     

    jQ31oTNRMHhgI_e.jpg

     

    Simply put, men are wired to be attracted to breasts and fat around the hips to some degree. A lower waist-to-hip ratio and fat around the breasts/hips signals health and fertility. A fat stomach...not so much. There's nothing inherently wrong with that, it's just the way we were designed.  Shoot, at least a fat stomach can be changed with proper diet and exercise. Women for the most part tend to be attracted to taller guys, but it's not like our height is something that we have any control over lol.

    4 people like this

  13. To piggyback off of Queen's post, I'd definitely recommend refining your conversational skills. It's hard to really critique you because we haven't seen you in action, but there are a few pointers I can give:

    - Active listening; if a person tells you something about themselves, make a mental note of it. You definitely want to remember their name, but also their interests, etc. Also, make eye contact and nod to show that you're paying attention.

    - Ask questions! If someone drops information about something they like, don't be afraid to go in further. If you're talking to a girl and she says that she likes skiing, you can go with some follow up questions. "How long have you been skiing?" "How did you get into skiing?" "What's the most interesting thing that's happened when you were skiing?" Questions not only show interest, they also take a lot of the conversational burden off of yourself. People generally love to talk about themselves lol.

    - Try to be generally friendly. Using humor is a great way to break down barriers in a conversation. Don't be afraid to crack [an appropriate] joke every now and then.

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  14. I like that Steve Harvey decided to have an episode like this. It gives a lot of waiters hope. Thanks for sharing!

     

    Hope was the first thing that I felt after watching it. WTM.org is a community where there's support and camaraderie, and it's definitely a valuable resource. Still, there's just something about seeing waiters (especially male waiters!) on national TV being portrayed as down-to-earth human beings that makes me smile.

    Buster, when you ask for "thoughts", I'm hoping this kind of thought is acceptable:

    The most attractive girl in that segment iis the one motivated out of morality and spirituality.

    God is GOOD!

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  15. Since reality is so much better than my preconceived notions of the world, I am inspired enough to put my priorities in order.  I must acquire an awesome lady with which to propose first!  I will work on MEETING ladies before I work on PROPOSING to one.

     

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    I feel like planning a proposal at this point is jumping the gun quite a bit. Every woman is different, and what works for one may not work for another. One may want a more public proposal, another might want something a bit more intimate. Plus with proposals you factor in the interests/hobbies of the woman you're with, so that's not something you can reasonably plan unless you already have someone.

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  16. Eh, base attraction is different for men and women. Men are wired to be primarily visual, so the physical aspect is what catches our attention first. I don't really think it's 'primitive', it's just how how we're built.

    On the other hand, women's base attraction tends to be a little more complex. Physical appearance matters to women as well, but there are other things that factor into it. How men are wired may be considered 'primitive' by comparison, but I just look at it as both genders being wired to find different things desirable in a mate.

    NOTE: When I say 'base attraction', I'm taking about the things that naturally catch someone's attention outside of your morals/beliefs/values etc.

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