Buster Cannon

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Posts posted by Buster Cannon

  1. I haven't kissed anyone yet, and honestly I really like the idea of saving it for marriage.  If anything else, I like the idea that my wife will get to be my first everything.  Like Matt said, as long as she's not agreeing due to a fear of intimacy I'm good.


    To answer your question though, if that's your conviction then stick to it.  If they don't love you enough to respect your standards, then they aren't for you.

    17 people like this

  2. Okay, after reading the first post of the thread and then learning that you're only 16, I have one key piece of advice...Chill.


    Seriously, at your age, I'd recommend putting dating/relationships on the backburner.  In High School, people are far more shallow, they don't know what they really want, they don't truly know themselves, they think they know everything but they don't...you have a ton of time to grow and mature as a person before jumping into one.  It gets better as you get older since people tend to be less shallow as a whole, and by then have a good idea of who they are and what they want.  This is a tough stage in your life, no doubt, but things will start looking up.  ^_^


    Shoot, I'm 23, haven't been in a relationship yet, and honestly I regret absolutely nothing in regards to not dating when I was in HS/College.  For me there's no point in entering into a relationship if I don't see it leading to marriage down the line, and for that to happen I need to be prepared mentally, spiritually, and financially.  Anything I could have initiated at a younger age would have gone essentially nowhere, just a waste of time (mine and hers).  No need to rush things, just work hard and enjoy life.

    9 people like this

  3. Called? I guess I'd say that I'm called in that I'm a Christian and that's what God commands of us, but it's hard to really pinpoint anything aside from that.


    I will say this though, as I've gotten older I've found that WTM makes sense to me outside of a "because God said so" mentality.  I grew up in church hearing the abstinence message, but never really understood the heart of it until recently (and unfortunately churches don't often explain it).  As I've grown in my relationship with God, I've come to realize that sex is something sacred that connects two people together in a way so deep that I can't even fathom.  The thought of doing that with someone with someone aside from my wife -- someone who I'm with for the rest of my life -- just seems unattractive to me.  Why would I give that part of myself to someone who isn't in it with me for the long haul?

    1 person likes this

  4. 29k & daydreamer, thank you! You bring up a fantastic point: the experience of starting a family. I was scared to mention this b/c I thought I'd come across as selfish, and I also thought I was the only one that thought about this! I would like to hope that my wife and I could experience our first child together. It would hurt knowing that she's experienced the joy, pain, and miracle of her first pregnancy and childbirth with another man. 


    Funny you should say that; I honestly feel like the fear of being perceived as selfish is one of the most difficult aspects of being a waiter.  I can't speak for anyone else here, but I tend to have a pretty good idea of what I want in my future marriage. When non-negotiables like children come up, I end up feeling like I'm being selfish because I'd prefer to start my own family as opposed to a pre-made one.  I shouldn't feel guilty about wanting that for myself (shoot, it's the way that God intended it), but yet I do, almost as if I'm being unreasonable in this day and age...  :( 


    I guess it's like you said, the 'church' can sometimes make you feel bad because the key component of Christianity is forgiveness, and it's often assumed that you can just forgive and all of the issues related to their past behavior will disappear, and if you're struggling with dealing with the other person's past it's somehow your fault and not theirs.  I hate to say it but it feels a lot easier talking about topics like this here than with peers at church for this very reason. :superwaiter:

    4 people like this

  5. So a few friends and I were chatting earlier, and the topic of "what deal-breakers do you have in a significant other?" came up.  A few answers were thrown around, and then someone asks "would you consider kids to be a deal-breaker?".  I said "yes" and got a couple of "that's harsh" responses.  


    I respect single parents and all, but I wouldn't want to marry someone who already had kids.  Honestly, past sexual partners on its own would be hard to swallow, but having kids are a completely different ballgame.  You'd essentially have to come into the relationship/marriage with parenting skills already on deck. Instead of both of you learning how to become parents together, one has experience and you're sort of being tossed into the pool with the expectation that you already know how to swim.  (Not my best analogy :lol: )  Plus you might have to deal with drama involving the child's birth parent, if they're still around.


    So, would you date/marry someone else with kids? Why or why not?

    8 people like this

  6. So if I move the physical part from a 4 to a 3 it jumps from 8.19 to 27...

    Then I thought about it for a second and said, "how are they even grading physical attractiveness in the first place?" What one person finds another attractive another may not, and there's so many variables that could go into that anyway (height, race, hair style, eye color, how they dress, etc.).


    3 people like this

  7. Personally, I don't think it would take that long to go from the dating stage to marriage, like a year and a half at the most. The reason for this is that I'd have already been friends with that person for quite a while before we even started dating in the first place. By the time we start dating we'll already be pretty familiar with each other, it'd just be a matter of making the decision to take the friendship to the next level.

    10 people like this

  8. So let me get this straight:

    • You want to find a virgin wife after sleeping around.
    • Then, after marrying her, you want to impregnate a bunch of other women to create a number of extra children that you both have to take care of, using both of your time and resources.




    Dude, have you stopped to think about how selfish and outlandish all of this sounds?  Do you really think that any self-respecting woman would be okay with that plan of action?  Why do you need to impregnate a bunch of other woman and have extra kids when you have your wife?  Adoption is one thing, but this is just...no. There's no care given to her desires or wants at all, it's all about your pleasure and what you can get from your wife and these other women.



    4 people like this

  9. My parents waited 3 years before they had me, and I'd like to do the same.  Kids are so much of a responsibility that the dynamics of your marriage completely change until they leave the house as adults.  I'd like for us to have a few years in our marriage where we can spend time getting to know one another, travel, accomplish certain goals, and do lots of other activities that would improve the overall strength of the relationship.  Kids are a blessing but I can wait for a little while.  :lol:

    6 people like this

  10. That's kind of a generalization; a lot of churches (including the church I go to) preach clearly that premarital sex is a sin, but it's still up to the individual not to do it.  I tend to put less blame on the churches and more on the people that don't read the Bible for themselves so that they know what the truth is.  Anything the pastor says should be double-checked against the Bible to make sure that it's accurate.


    Also, the way our culture is now, the entire notion of "no sex before marriage" sounds completely outlandish to most people, even to those who proclaim to be Christians.

    7 people like this

  11. After thinking about it, I'd definitely want to stick with my convictions in a 'Walking Dead' situation.  Unless I'm already married, I don't think I'd want to pursue someone else in a time where I'm always on-edge due to zombies and crazy people trying to kill me left and right.  More added stress? No thanks.


    If I did end up finding someone that I liked enough to be in a relationship with, we'd have to do some sort of ghetto makeshift wedding where we recite vows or something.  I don't know about pulling a ring off of an undead finger, but I'd do something.

    5 people like this

  12. One of my favorite shows is The Walking Dead, and even though I'm not a huge zombie fan, I'm really fascinated by how much society changes after a catastrophic event like an outbreak.  Among other things, romance/sexuality tends to be handled differently.


    With the threat of being eaten or killed otherwise looming over your head every single day, relationships tend to move a LOT faster, with a lot of casual flings going on.  Getting married (in the traditional sense) isn't even possible anymore unless you get lucky enough to find someone willing to do the ceremony.  That or it'd have to be some sort of commitment between the two of you.  Of course that's assuming that you'd find a partner that you'd want to spend the rest of your life with anyway, because your dating pool just got drastically smaller.  You think being a waiter is hard now?


    This is just one of those "what-if" scenarios that makes me wonder.  I want to say "yes" but it's really hard to say how I'd act in a situation like that.

    8 people like this