Buster Cannon

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Everything posted by Buster Cannon

  1. Giving to people on the street?

    When a stranger approaches you asking for money, are you typically willing to give them something (be it money or food), or are you more likely to pass them by? I ask this because I had a situation earlier today. While grocery shopping, I ran into a man (with an infant) who asked me if I could help him out. I reply that I don't have any cash on me, and the man says that he simply needs a place to stay b/c he was evicted today. He was passing time in the grocery store because he had nowhere else to go (his cart was empty). He tells me the price of a nearby hotel, and I offer to help him cover the cost, including a meal. I also offered to pray with him after giving to him, for which he was grateful, and with that he was off. Thing is, I always tend to feel uneasy about giving to random people, because you honestly don't know where the money's going. There are folks who are legitimately homeless, but there are also a ton of con artists. It feels like a catch-22; if you ignore them, you may have dodged a scammer, but in the back of your mind you wonder if they really needed help. If you accommodate them, you can't help but wonder if they were truly being honest about their situation. Anyone else ever have this struggle?
  2. Same, I tend to give a side-eye (at least in my head lol) when I hear something like "God told me..." proceeded by how they feel about something. If it's not scripture, it's usually someone using God as a proxy for their emotions. I see this a lot in terms of how Christian culture approaches relationships; "the one God has for you" isn't a biblical idea, and has more roots in the pagan concept of soul mates. The person that you marry is the one that God has for you, as you've formed a covenant relationship. But I digress... @OneLovelyBabe I would do some prayer and consult with spiritually mature people in your life if you're having second thoughts. It sounds like he's a pretty good guy, and even though your concerns are definitely legitimate, it may be something that you can personally overlook and go on to have a great marriage. There's no real right or wrong answer here, it honestly depends on how much of a dealbreaker the virginity issue is for you.
  3. Merry Christmas

    Merry Christmas WTM!
  4. Biblically, the household would be out of order if the wife is the head of the family. In spite of the wife's personality or the husband's level of biblical knowledge, there's a distinct responsibility given to each spouse. The husband has to perform his role, even if it means that one has to do a lot of catch up work.
  5. I really wish more people in churches believed this. There's this [unbiblical] notion that there's "The One" that's out there that God has specifically picked out just for you, and you just have to listen to God's voice so that He can direct you to them. Nothing could be further than the truth. There's no such thing as a soul mate, but once you marry, it's for life, and the two of you really have to work at staying together. This is why it's really important to have standards in the person that you choose. The Bible has roles for husbands and wives written clearly, and it also specifies that you are not to join up with unbelievers. Along with certain scriptures on divorce and re-marriage, you have all of the information you need in terms of criteria for a spouse. Pray about it, seek godly counsel, take your own preferences into account, and get to know the people that you're interested in as potential spouses. @OneLovelyBabe There's nothing wrong with wanting someone that's also waited, and don't let people shame you out of what you have as a dealbreaker. Knowing what you can and can't handle in a marriage ahead of time is wise.
  6. Fitness

    Cool, I'm into fitness stuff too! Picked up this low-carb/paleo thing again recently. Was feeling kind of bummed at first, then I remembered that bacon was a viable snack.
  7. MUSIC!

    Have some more Future Funk!
  8. MUSIC!

    I've been really into Future Funk/Vaporwave lately:
  9. I've been doing some thinking lately. As a general observation, I've noticed that most WTM/abstinence movements tend to be more geared towards women than men. By this I mean it's often accompanied by imagery like flowers, purity rings, white dresses etc. This is in addition to the fact that, in general, men simply don't talk about it that often, whereas you see it come up far more often in women's circles. I've also wondered if this has a correlation with virginity stereotypically being associated with weakness as opposed to strength. It's one thing if you're a non-waiter virgin in that condition because of a lack of attractiveness, but it's another beast entirely when you're exercising restraint by saying 'no' to sex even though you could. This masculine virtue of it isn't showcased often, as the stereotype of a male virgin is often negative, even in more conservative circles. With that being said, I do have a few questions for the thread: 1) Do you feel as if the WTM conversation tends to be skewed towards one gender? If so, how would you change it? 2) Should men who are WTM be more vocal about it? If so, how? 3) What virtues of WTM (i.e. strength) could be highlighted to make it more palatable to a male audience?
  10. WTM and its appeal to men?

    Oh yeah, I agree on this completely. The second paragraph made me laugh out loud; sadly I've seen some guys do this, and it's horrifyingly cringeworthy. This is actually a great example of how WTM can look different from masculine and feminine perspectives.
  11. WTM and its appeal to men?

    Men in churches are given purity talks, but that's about it. Women get the elaborate groups, conferences, tea outings, balls, etc. Yeah, this is where a lot of my thinking has been focused. Leading by example is the most powerful tool for sure. Just based off of the reactions I've gotten from people that I've talked to in the past, I don't give off the typical 'virgin vibe', and it's often a shock to people (to the point that I've been accused of lying lol). I think it's important to shatter the mold of virgins lacking confidence or being otherwise un-masculine. Waiting isn't about weakness, it's about having the strength to stick to your principles even when it's hard, and most others around you are taking a different path. That's one of the things that I've really come to understand about WTM in the past few years, and it's helped to reinforce my resolve quite a bit. This is a really, really good question. That said, I think it'd do a bit better if you made a separate thread for it, mainly because it's deep enough that I'd easily run off-topic with it lol. If you do that, I'll respond to it. That really hits the nail on the head. When you view WTM as a 'purity' only thing, it doesn't hold the same weight for a male audience. On the other hand, viewing sex as sacred gives influences your motives a bit. It's something that you're willing to fight for. Maybe our marketing should look more like:
  12. Random Thoughts

    Whoa, the site got a complete makeover on mobile...
  13. Hi from Maryland!

    Welcome from a fellow Marylander!
  14. Random Thoughts

    Paid off my student loans earlier this morning!
  15. Saying Hello!

    Welcome!
  16. Hey from new york!

    Welcome!
  17. Warning: Phishing site

    Same, Chrome blocks this site now due to phishing.
  18. I'm not a girl either, but I have a few thoughts on this one: About the friend zone The "friend zone" is something people to use to describe a situation where there isn't mutual attraction. A guy may be attracted to a woman, but she may not feel the same way. He has nice qualities but she doesn't necessarily feel attraction for him, so he continues to be her friend, maybe even hoping someday that she'll see what a great guy he is. If you're familiar at all with Steve Urkel from the sitcom Family Matters and his relationship with Laura Winslow...yeah, same thing. This also happens with the genders flipped, a woman may be interested in a guy and will hang around him while dropping hints that can range from obvious to extremely vague. Escaping the friend zone Generally, there are only a few ways for a guy leave the friend zone: 1) She was attracted to you all along and was just waiting for you to make a move. 2) You don't see her for a moderately long amount of time, and during this interval, you significantly boost your own attractiveness. For example an overweight, socially awkward guy starts eating right, hitting the gym, finds a steady job, and takes some public speaking classes. When he comes back he's a lot more attractive in her eyes and she sees him differently. There's also the scenario where the guy gradually becomes more attractive, and one day the girl takes note and sees him in a new light. 3) You do something that instantly changes her perception of you. Some sudden act of leadership/masculinity (say you end up leading a Bible study, you save someone's life, etc.) and she realizes that there's a side of you that she's never seen before. -- That said, if you find yourself in the friend zone, the best thing to do is move on and look for someone that's actually interested in you. Continue to work on improving yourself in the meantime. People put themselves in the friend zone, in most cases it's not worth it to continue hovering around someone in hopes that they'll change their mind some day.
  19. Hopeful, Optimistic & Waiting for Ms. Right

    Welcome! As a huge Mega Man fan, this made me chuckle lol
  20. still waiting for the one

    Welcome!
  21. Prepared to wait forever?

    Eh, either I get married or die a virgin, no middle ground lol.
  22. Hello

    Welcome!
  23. Random Thoughts

    Every pizza is a personal pizza if you're brave enough.
  24. JOKES

    As a waiter, I found this hilarious: