Buster Cannon

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Everything posted by Buster Cannon

  1. Pretty much this. Unfortunately, most 'purity talks' given to most church-going teens involves some variation of, "don't do it because God said so", with a reference to pregnancy or STDs thrown in there. First off, a typical teenager doesn't really find their own personal relationship with God until they leave the house, usually around college or so, when they aren't under the watchful eye of their parents. Even for those raised in a Christian home, it's easy to look like they have a fear of God, then go buck wild once they graduate HS. At that point, if you aren't truly committed, any motivation to wait often goes out of the window. Shoot, I went to a Christian HS, and most people I knew kept it in their pants until they went away to school. Secondly, I don't think the consequences of pre-marital sex are brought up often enough in churches, so the "because God said so" approach doesn't work. Even the potential risk of STDs/pregnancies can be brought down by the use of condoms/birth-control/etc. A non-religious waiter probably has more practical reasons for waiting because they actually spent time thinking about it.
  2. *Wasn't sure whether to put this here or Religious Discussion* Just a thought that crossed my mind. As a Christian, I don't really feel like I've ever had any serious opposition to my stance on WTM. Growing up in church surrounded me with people who generally had similar viewpoints. At the very least, people who disagreed weren't very vocal about it. For someone that isn't religious (or is an a religion that may not be WTM-friendly), I can't help but wonder how their experience differs. IMO, religious waiters have an easier time for a couple of reasons: Religious waiters have a much better chance of finding a like-minded person that's also waiting (i.e. church) You have more people standing behind your decision; for example, I can't think of many other places besides church where an adult male can announce that he's a virgin and actually get commended for it. For the religious waiters: do you think that your faith (and the resources that come with it) makes it easier in terms of WTM? Why or why not? For the non-religious waiters: do you feel that not having the resources that religious waiters do makes it feel like you're "playing WTM on hard mode?" Why or why not?
  3. Merry Christmas!

    Merry Christmas WTM!!!
  4. I just needed to vent.

    I can only think of one particular recent instance where something inflammatory was said towards men. Otherwise the ladies here seem pretty chill. *kanye shrug*
  5. Going to church...

    For those of you that are Christians. Do you attend church on a regular basis? Just a few times a year? Not at all? Does it vary? I'm pretty regular when it comes to church. Service is attended every Sunday, in addition to other things like serving ministries, bible study, Sunday School, and the like. Men, if you meet a woman who claims to be Christian, but doesn't attend regularly (for whatever reason), do you reject her based on that? Or do you see how she acts, talks, etc, before deciding? Honestly, it's a combination of both. I do think being faithful to the church that you belong to is very important, and at the very LEAST you should be attending regularly on a Sunday. I also think it's important to contribute in a ministry and do a little more than just Sunday morning. That said, I don't believe that you have to be in church every time the doors fly open lol, just find a ministry you thrive in and stick with it. Observing someone's lifestyle outside of church is also a big deal, because it's very easy to say all the right words and cliches at church, but their character is what you have to really watch for. What is your outlook on attending church, in general? "Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. However, that's where a lot of the work on the car is done to restore it, if you allow it to happen. All the stuff outside the garage breaks it down." If you practice a specific faith, what is it? Do you feel it necessary to practice the same faith as a potential mate? Or is it just important that she be Christian? Or, do you not care at all? For me, the other person would have to be a Christian, no questions asked. If God is the most important thing in my life and we don't have that in common, how can I even consider that in a potential mate?
  6. Your thoughts on this article.

    Here's the thing, there are plenty of women who will respect a guy who's willing to WTM. Heck, ideally both of you should be on the same page when it comes to that conviction. If a woman told me that she'd be unwilling to move forward with me because I refuse to have sex, then I'm out. Honestly, I'd be less attracted to her at that point because we don't see eye-to-eye on something that I have an unmovable stance on. Dude, look around you. This site is full of women who believe in WTM, and I'm sure there are plenty others out there with a similar mindset. Don't look at yourself as a beta because you choose to wait, you have to own it with pride.
  7. Your thoughts on this article.

    I can't help but laugh at this article. The author makes himself out to be some kind of relationship expert, but all of his arguments are based on generalizations including but not limited to: There are no virgins at the age of 26 or older in the West All women will find you unattractive if you don't sleep with them Romance is purposeless without sex Men and women can't be "just friends" There's a little truth sprinkled here and there, but for the most part the article is bunk. Besides, it's hard to take "relationship" advice from a guy that runs a site on bedding as many women as possible.
  8. Deleted

    The following are things that I'm doing for God and myself, but will help in marriage as well: - Growing spiritually - Getting stronger/weightlifting - Learning to be less selfish (not easy for an only child lol) - Moving up in my career - Learning how to manage money better - Cooking - WTM!!!
  9. Alcohol??

    I don't drink, never have, and don't plan to. For me it's less of a moral thing and more of a personal thing. I don't believe that drinking wine in itself is sinful or anything, I just straight up have no interest. I'm more of a sparkling juice, water and herbal tea kind of guy.
  10. Physical Strength; a deal breaker?

    I think lean muscle is attractive on a woman provided that she's not the female bodybuilder type. I know that there are a lot of women that think weight-lifting will turn them into She-Hulk, but in reality it gives them a more toned look.
  11. Physical strength: a dealbreaker?

    I was gonna bring this point up: a lot of people who are physically strong don't look how you would expect them to. People that focus on strength training (compound exercises like squats, benches, and deadlifts) tend to have a leaner build. The bodybuilding type (more focused on isolation exercises like curls and tricep pulls) might have larger muscles, but in a lot of cases those muscles are just for show.
  12. Kissing Under the Mistletoe?

    Eh, as of now I'd pass on it. Now after marriage is a completely different story.
  13. Random Thoughts

    Is the consistency of a protein shake like a milk shake? As someone who doesn't like milkshakes, I'm a little wary lol.
  14. One of my favorite shows is The Walking Dead, and even though I'm not a huge zombie fan, I'm really fascinated by how much society changes after a catastrophic event like an outbreak. Among other things, romance/sexuality tends to be handled differently. With the threat of being eaten or killed otherwise looming over your head every single day, relationships tend to move a LOT faster, with a lot of casual flings going on. Getting married (in the traditional sense) isn't even possible anymore unless you get lucky enough to find someone willing to do the ceremony. That or it'd have to be some sort of commitment between the two of you. Of course that's assuming that you'd find a partner that you'd want to spend the rest of your life with anyway, because your dating pool just got drastically smaller. You think being a waiter is hard now? This is just one of those "what-if" scenarios that makes me wonder. I want to say "yes" but it's really hard to say how I'd act in a situation like that.
  15. Does the 'purity message' change as you get older?

    In the case of teens, I think they'd be better off leaving the metaphors out, but at the same time it should be stressed that premarital sex does carry some serious, potentially long-range consequences. Not just in the realm of STDs and pregnancies, but stuff like soul ties to past partners and potentially comparing your spouse to someone else are pretty important, and they aren't often talked about. I agree that God can forgive all sins, and that you can be restored and move forward. However, at a young age, stressing the sacredness of sexuality isn't a bad idea at all.
  16. Pet Peeves regarding Guys

    Be gentle, there's no need for anyone to get pun ched in the face. ... I'll see myself out now.
  17. Random Thoughts

    Protein bars are absolutely disgusting.
  18. Random Thoughts

    That feeling when the power goes out as you're working from home. :/
  19. How far will attraction go?

    If I personally didn't find her physically attractive at all...it's not happening.
  20. The Importance of Attraction

    If an otherwise physically attractive woman has a terrible personality, she becomes unattractive to me. I can think of more than a few occasions where I see someone and think, "oh, she's pretty"...and then she starts talking and I'm like NOPE. That said, physical attraction IS important. There are some people that I just don't find attractive at all - even if they had a great personality and everything else that I'm looking for in a spouse, I just couldn't date someone that I didn't find physically attractive. The way I see it, physical attractiveness works as a baseline, but personality/character can easily add or subtract several points from that. I hope that made sense lol
  21. Premarital counseling?

    Yeah, premarital counseling is definitely a necessity for me.
  22. I don't always agree with Matt Walsh, but he's spot-on here. Society really pushes more of a self-centered ideal for people in their 20's, talking about how many things you need to be doing and accomplishing on your own to "find yourself". There comes a point where you should have a certain level of emotional maturity -- where you know who you are and what you want in a spouse. It certainly doesn't (or at least it shouldn't) take that long to figure it out. Also, imma just drop this here: http://haleyshalo.wordpress.com/2013/06/29/christians-who-dont-promote-young-marriage-dont-actually-care-about-chastity/
  23. Does the 'purity message' change as you get older?

    Showed my dad (a successful waiter) the article, and he agreed with every point. A few of my scattered thoughts: Is the bar really set so low for Christian young adults that premarital sex is a given? My dad was talking to an older gentleman at another ministry he attends. Not sure what they were originally talking about, but at some point I was brought up, and it was mentioned that I was "pure" so to speak. The gentlemen responds, "so how do you know that he wasn't lying about what he did in college?" Gee, thanks, apparently if a guy says he's a virgin after a certain age he's considered to be lying?! I think I understand the whole "virgin wanting to marry another virgin" concept completely now. Looking back on it, you're all but promised that scenario during those purity talks. They get you all hyped up about waiting, and how awesome it will be that you waited for one another. Fast forward 10 years later, and now that scenario that was mentioned is completely unrealistic, and if you want it you're being harsh and unforgiving. In a way it feels like false advertising. Yes, the main motivation for you staying pure should be your relationship with God as well as it being a gift for your future spouse. At the same time, the "shut up and settle" part is very real, and it does sting a bit when it flies in the face of everything Christian culture taught you as a teenager. Where is the line drawn when it comes to pride? Sure, you shouldn't feel down about being a virgin WTM, but it seems like if you're too happy about it you get shot down. Yeah, don't be a jerk and rub it in people's faces, but at the same time articles like this just seem to send mixed messages, almost going to the extreme of making you feel bad for waiting. How do you even start to address this issue, if at all? Thing is, adult virgin waiters are an underground minority in churches, and it's very easy to feel ignored when the subject is never brought up again after grade school. You'd think that church would be the most supportive place, but too often you get a whole lot of nothing in that area.
  24. If you remarried....

    Huh, this actually happened to my dad. He was a virgin when he married his first wife, became a widower a few years later, and WTM with his current wife (my mother). In a situation like that, there's nothing at all to be guilty about. You stuck to your convictions and unfortunately life happened. If you remarry there's nothing at all wrong with that. I think with divorce it's a bit trickier because the separation was a choice, as opposed to them passing.
  25. Artificial Insemination

    I really don't like the idea for single mothers. There are enough kids out there as it is without fathers, why add more to that number?