Buster Cannon

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Everything posted by Buster Cannon

  1. Religious Freedom Restoration Act

    Not trying to derail the thread, but that statistic has been out in the open for quite some time now. Around at least 80-85% of Christians have sex before marriage: http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationship/features/28337-the-secret-sexual-revolution http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationships/almost-everyones-doing-it http://thinkprogress.org/politics/2011/09/29/331692/study-finds-huge-majority-of-young-evangelicals-have-pre-marital-sex-exposing-flaws-with-right-wing-attacks-on-sex-ed/ http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2011/09/27/why-young-christians-arent-waiting-anymore/
  2. Religious Freedom Restoration Act

    If a private pizza business doesn't want to cater a gay wedding based on their beliefs, why should they feel forced to? The folks officiating the wedding could have easily gotten pizza from somewhere else, it's not like Chicago is short on those in any capacity.
  3. The Apple Tree

    I don't see it as the boys being 'afraid of falling and getting hurt'. It's more like, 'the boys are uncontrollably hungry and are willing to eat the first apple that makes itself available instead of waiting for the best one. In fact, the boys are perfectly content going through several apples lying on the ground because hey, it's still food, right? Once he's had his fill of lesser-quality apples, he'll go for one of the ones at the top later." ^It's a little harsh, but a lot closer to reality, unfortunately. Even though I disagree with the other parts of your post, this right here is spot-on.
  4. praying openly in public places

    Nothing wrong with praying in public as long as it's not done out of a spirit of boastfulness and pride. For example, there's nothing wrong with praying for your food in public, but don't make your prayer so loud that the only voice people hear in the restaurant is yours. God can hear you when you speak quietly, no need to shout lol.
  5. WTM Scripture Verses

    Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity. ~1 Timothy 4:12 This verse is a reminder that waiting isn't just something that pleases God, but we're also an example to other believers as well. We're showing that God's standard is possible, even in today's age. This gives me a lot of motivation when I feel doubtful, because I realize that I'm not just doing this for me, but my actions affect my testimony as a whole.
  6. So I'm not the only one who's run into this? Interesting. I can think of a few occasions where I've seen this happen, even in places like church where you'd think that there would be more like-minded folks. In one specific example, I was in a men's only bible study where the speaker notes that he is going to make a sexual reference in an analogy. He hesitates for a second, then asserts that there are no virgins in the room anyway so it doesn't matter. Funnily enough, another guy in the class did assert back that he was a virgin, but the speaker's comment still stung a bit. If anything else, it's a really disheartening sentiment. Instead of being encouraged, you feel like you're on an island by yourself. This is one of the reasons why I believe that waiters should be a little more vocal with their stance. People need to realize that not everyone is 'doing it'. It's sad that even in environments like church where waiting should be encouraged, you're still treated like a unicorn or something.
  7. How old are you?

  8. To be honest, I've never really thought too much about the possibility of never having sex. If that were to happen, I'd be happy that I stuck to my guns on one hand. On the other hand, it would suck not knowing what it's like, and there is a part of me that would feel like I'd be missing out on something. With that said, I'd easily take dying a virgin over having a bunch of one-night stands or something. The idea of sex for the sake of sex turns me off, it just cheapens the act so much. The physical/emotional intimacy coupled with the security of a thriving marriage relationship would be great, but anything else just wouldn't seem worth it in the long run.
  9. WTM Outreach: Getting others to wait

    I meant to respond to this topic long ago, but got lazy lol. Anywho, I was listening to the radio earlier today (Christian station), and they were talking about a group called Silver Ring Thing that promotes WTM. As the representative explained what they did, one thing in particular stood out to me; the people advocating waiting were in the 16-23 bracket. I think that is huge, because having someone explain the benefits of waiting that is in your age group is far more effective than an older married couple who quite frankly has no idea what it's like to be a young waiter in 2015. 1) Do you think it's important that waiters as a group have outreach going on so waiting will gain popularity? Or do you more think it's a personal matter and doesn't matter much that society's norm is not waiting? I do think that it's important for the message of WTM to be shared. On one hand waiting is a personal decision, but it's not a bad idea to let people know that you're willing to defy the societal norm. There are plenty of folks that don't wait simply because they have no idea that it's even possible. By showing them through example that waiting is possible (regardless of virginity status), they learn that sex isn't a required part of a casual dating relationship, despite what the media feeds them regularly. 2) Apart from these forums, do you encourage others to wait? Why or why not? How do you do it? Whom do you encourage, mostly close friends or do you reach the public? Are you involved in any outreach projects or film or stage productions? Would you like to be? Honestly, I haven't even brought it up outside of close friends. To me it seems like one of those topics that you don't just bring up whenever. "Hey, nice weather we're having! By the way, how do you feel about premarital sex?" An organized outreach seems like it'd be better suited towards promoting WTM. I agree that single adults should hear the message too, but I feel like it's necessary for younger ages as well. These days, folks are having sex so early that it wouldn't be a stretch to start talking about this stuff as early as elementary school.
  10. Random Thoughts

    I just left an interview today, got a job offer over the phone, and I start next Thursday!
  11. Just Joined!

    Welcome!
  12. fantastic community

    Welcome!
  13. Physicist introducing himself & waiting too

    Man, I'm only 24 and I feel the same way. I'm proud that I made a decision to wait, but it can make you feel very "out of the loop" sometimes. Glad you found this site, there are plenty of like-minded folks here! Hope you enjoy your stay! From my understanding, it doesn't really work the same way with guys. Women who are also committed to waiting will find it attractive for the most part, but otherwise it tends to work against you, especially as you get older.
  14. What Counts?

    No, but delaying the sexual means that you'll get to know them mentally more quickly.
  15. What Counts?

    There's probably a similar topic on here already, but what specifically do you believe should be off-limits until marriage? Anything but actual intercourse? Or is there a more fine line? Personally, I'm planning to save the first kiss for the wedding day. I think it's wiser to forego kissing and stay out of the temptation zone until we actually get married. Plus with the physical part of the relationship being so low, we'll be forced to focus on actually getting to know each other mentally, which is very important to the development of a healthy relationship. On a similar note, has anyone here wondered about sex scenes in movies, and whether those are not really a form of porn? Obviously in your average pg-13 or even r rated movie they're much less revealing than porn, but I still wonder if there isn't a rather gray area there. What do you think? My stance is similar to waitingforcarats'; I don't screen moves out by the rating itself (something rated R for violence is very different from an R for sex-nudity), but I do try to avoid movies with a lot of overt sexuality/nudity. In a lot of cases I'll check a Christian movie review site just to make sure a movie isn't too raunchy, if it is I just give it a pass.
  16. Is the sex of your child important? Ideally I'd like to have multiple children, and I'd like at least one of them to be male. Gotta continue the family line and all that lol. What if your wife/you found out you couldn't have children?? Gentlemen, would you be upset, maybe be angry at your wife? I would be a little disappointed, but I certainly wouldn't be angry at her, it's not her fault that we can't have kids. At that point you either pray for a miracle or go the adoption route.
  17. Does your family know?

    My parents definitely know and support me. I don't think my other relatives know b/c I've never explicitly brought it up.
  18. Why don't guys ask women out in church?

    *drops two pennies on table* I agree with the article in some respects. I grew up reading plenty of Christian dating books, IKDG being one of them. The books are well-intentioned, but it's easy to read them and go to the logical extreme that dating in itself is to be avoided. I understand that the ultimate goal of a relationship should be marriage and not casual sex, but the 'purity movement" of the 90's did such a good job of scaring folks out of healthy male/female interaction at a young age. I think we need to get to a place in Christian culture where we realize that asking someone out on a simple date (as friends) to get to know them isn't the same as proposing to them. We've gotten so uptight and formulaic about it, yet our grandparents were so simple with it, and their marriages lasted for decades. There's a good article about it here. That said, I feel that the article places far too much blame on the men in the church. Yes, the men should be bold enough to ask the ladies out, but the ladies often have these 210 -point bulleted checklists about what their husband should be like. If a woman is waiting around for 'Mr. Perfect' and rejects a bunch of good, well-intentioned guys in the process, then she really isn't doing herself any favors. Jesus with a high-paying job, George Clooney's charm, and a six-pack may not show up anytime soon lol.
  19. Is Virginity Really Attractive?

    I've been doing some digging into the 'manosphere' myself recently, and you really have to take things with a grain of salt, especially on certain sites. In a lot of cases dudes think that being "alpha" involves becoming a cocky pick-up artist and bedding multiple women to prove how manly they are. You know what's even more 'alpha'? Restraint. It takes a lot of strength and willpower to willingly save yourself for marriage, and if a woman thinks that it's unattractive, then she's not wife material. What I've learned is that 'alpha' traits are a good thing; confidence, self-control, decisiveness, leadership, and assertiveness are all worth developing. You have the choice of using these traits for good (saving yourself for marriage, helping others, etc.) or evil (sleeping around with anything that moves, being an abrasive jerk, etc.).
  20. BIzarre hypothetical situation

    I saw something like this on a TV show once, I want to say it was either CSI or NCIS. A husband and wife were together, and I believe she was captured with the husband being lead to believe that she was dead. During the episode, the two ended up being reunited, but years had passed and the husband had remarried. It was a sad situaiton as you could tell that the husband and wife wanted to rekindle their old marriage, but the husband chose to respect his new marriage. Personally, there's no easy answer to this. If your wife is presumed dead and you re-marry later on, you're under the assumption that you're starting with a clean slate. Finding out that your old wife is alive, you'd rightfully still feel connected to her, and you didn't divorce her so you'd technically still be married to her. If you go re-join your old wife, you have to divorce your current wife, and if kids are involved it's even tougher. If you stick with your new marriage, you have to leave your first wife, but if you had kids with your first wife then that adds additional complications. Sad outcome no matter what you do.
  21. advice

    The best way would be social media, but if you're friends with your parents/siblings it'll be a problem since they'll be able to see it. Facebook has a way to hide individual posts from certain people tho: http://time.com/8251/30-second-tech-trick-how-to-hide-facebook-posts-from-certain-people/ ^That should work.
  22. Decorating?

    Provided she knows what she's doing (because I sure don't) and doesn't make the house look overly feminine, sure, decorate away! The man-cave is my jurisdiction though.
  23. Older women???

    1-2 years older is considerable, but any older than that is out of the question. I'm traditional-minded in that I believe the husband should be the spiritual leader of the home, and although that can be done with a woman 3+ years older, I can see it being a little more difficult. The other reason is expectations. From my experience, someone older who's farther along in their career will often have the same (or higher) financial expectations of their potential spouse. If you're a guy who's been out of college for 2 years, a woman that's been in the workforce for a while making 6 figures might want someone around that level.
  24. Tattoos& Piercings

    Would you ever get a tattoo of your wife's name or wedding date/day you met/fell in love etc No. Do you like a girl with tattoos and/ or piercings? I don't find tattoos to be attractive, to be completely honest. As for piercings, I'm fine with traditional ear piercings, but I'm not a fan of anything else. Would you ever consider getting a tattoo or piercing if someone suggested it to you? No.
  25. Single Life

    I've been single my whole life (24). Wasn't so much for a lack of opportunity, instead I had other priorities that made put dating lower on my radar. In high school I didn't see the point of getting into a relationship. You still have to go through college, you're nowhere close to marriage or a steady job, so why bother. In college, I went to school out of state in an area that I had no intention of living in, plus I still hadn't started my career yet, so I can't provide for myself, let alone try to support another person. The thing is, I have absolutely no regrets taking the path that I have. I believe that relationships should be intentional; the idea of dating for the sake of 'practice' doesn't sit well with me. It feels pretty good not having any past heartbreaks at this point, and since I'm older and have a sharper sense of who I am and what I want, I won't have to fumble around trying to figure that out.