Buster Cannon

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Everything posted by Buster Cannon

  1. New to the site

  2. is masturbation a sin?

    So I've been studying the fruits of the spirit, and looked at the Greek bible's word for self-control: Initially, I viewed the issue of masturbation as more of a 'gray area', since I do believe that it's possible to participate in it without lustful thoughts, but always felt that it was better to err on the side of 'don't do it'. Looking at this definition, I realize that there's an intrinsic value to 'mastering' your desires, and that it lines up with the fruit of the spirit. Even if the actual act isn't classified specifically in the bible as a sin, it does show a lack of self control, which we're commanded to develop as believers.
  3. I think the confidence part could have been worded better; it's definitely a good thing to not be insecure with yourself. It gets unattractive when a woman has that "I'm a strong independent woman who don't need no man" attitude. A lack of grace and willingness to be led/taught is definitely a turnoff.
  4. Favorite thing about being here...

    Even though we all come from different backgrounds and walks of life with different perspectives, I like the fact that we all share the common belief in waiting, and can hold each other up through the struggles that come with it. Lawd knows that being a waiter in this day and age is a challenge lol.
  5. Being a whore is a goal now?

    Like I said earlier, I don't use the word 'slut' to describe people, and it's not something that I encourage folks to do. My disagreement doesn't stem from that. What I'm saying is that my belief about sexual promiscuity being stigmatized is different than yours. I think that someone's willingness to sleep around can and often does speak of one's character and self-valuation. I don't believe in condemning folks, but I think it's fine for certain actions to have a bit of a stigma towards them, especially if it'd benefit society as a whole. Personally, I think our culture views sex as something cheap as opposed to something sacred. I think we'd be a little better off if casual sex was discouraged instead of encouraged. *drops two pennies on the table*
  6. Random Thoughts

    I shouldn't be laughing as hard as I am at this lol
  7. Being a whore is a goal now?

    Well, it looks like we're going to have to agree to disagree on this one. Even though we're all waiters here, I get that we come from different backgrounds and hold different core beliefs. As someone that views premarital/casual sex as morally wrong, I have no problem with there being a negative stigma behind it. Like I said before, I don't make it a practice to call folks "sluts/whores", but I do feel that you have to own the consequences of your actions. If someone calls me a prude for refusing to partake in sexual activities before marriage, I'm cool with it. If a girl who sleeps around is called a 'slut' (which is the literal definition of the word), she has to either own that or make some changes to how she lives her life.
  8. Being a whore is a goal now?

    I'm with Sobriquet on this one. In not so many words, his friend said that she wants to sleep around when she gets to college. While I personally don't make it a habit of using terms like 'slut', if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, quacks like a duck...well you get the idea. By sleeping around she's choosing to take part in that lifestyle, and by association whatever negative stigmas are associated with it. Racial slurs aren't nearly the same thing. Someone calling me the N-word would be considered offensive because it's a prejudice based on something that is beyond my control and has nothing to do with my worth as a person. Choosing to sleep around is something that you DO have control over, and is generally looked at as a negative trait. 'Slut' isn't a politically correct term, but then again the truth often isn't.
  9. Being a whore is a goal now?

    Unfortunately, this is a mindset that a lot of folks have (both men and women). Party it up in their college years/early twenties, and then settle down once they've "gotten it out of their system". What's sad is that she doesn't realize how much that could come back to bite her when she gets older. Anywho, it's good that you were able to find this out and break it off with her. Hopefully you'll be able to find someone that thinks more long-term.
  10. Random Thoughts

    Co-worker is having compatibility issues with some stuff on one of our sites. It turns out that he's still using Windows 95... *facepalms*
  11. I know I'm echoing a few of the above posts, but yeah, divorce isn't anywhere on the table except in the case of adultery. Even then, I'd try to work through it first before letting it come to that. Having different sex drives is something that can be worked on, and it would require a little compromise on both ends.
  12. Free the nipple?

    I think the concept is ridiculous IMO. Here's the thing; men and women's bodies aren't the same. Yes, there's some extra sexualisation done by the media, but in general breasts are something that men are sexually attracted to on women. This isn't fundamentally a bad thing, and neither is the concept of modesty. Running around NYC topless just to make a point comes off as narcissistic if anything else. "We're tired of our breasts being sexualised, so we're going to display them to everyone!" C'mon, man... I do think an exception should be made for nursing mothers, who are actually trying to feed a baby as opposed to parading around topless.
  13. Brand New

    Welcome sir!
  14. 30 minutes

    I remember hearing 6 minutes, which sounds about right. 30 minutes is a long time, definitely an exaggeration lol.
  15. Assuming that you're a Christian, I'd recommend not experimenting with other things even if it isn't full-on sex. Oral sex is still a sexual act, and even other 'bases' can lead to more. "Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires." ~ Song of Solomon 2:4
  16. What qualities are you looking for?

    It's a bit of a read, but here's my 'list': (Notes below) Devotion Holds the Bible as the ultimate authority in her life Has an active relationship with God Believes in the biblical standard of wifely submission/being a helpmeet Chastity Virgin - believes that sex is only for marriage Carries herself modestly Family-minded Wants to have children Has an interest in building a home that is a Christ-centered environment Willing to put her family over her career if necessary Femininity Carries herself with a gentle, quiet spirit (1 Peter 3:4) Pleasant to be around Respect - uses words to build up rather than tear down Willing to allow me to lead Attractiveness Someone that I'm physically attracted to Cares about her health/appearance and is willing to maintain that (won't "let themselves go") Stewardship Responsible with her finances Willing to help take care of a home Has a desire to serve/give NOTES: I don't hold my prospective spouse to any standard that I wouldn't maintain myself Specifics for each number: As a practicing disciple of Christ, my relationship with God comes first, and she would have to be on the same page regarding this. As a husband, I will be submitted to God and will be responsible for leading my family, so she will have to have a biblical view when it comes to the family unit. As a virgin myself, I'd prefer to marry someone with the same level of experience (or lack of lol). I'm fully aware that past partners can bring certain complications to a marriage (comparisons, expectations, trust issues, potential STDs, baby daddy drama, divorce rate, etc.), and I'd rather avoid that and start on a clean slate for both of us regarding sex. I would like to be a father down the line, and a potential wife would have to be on board with this. There are certain attitudes that are very unattractive on women. I would like someone who is generally pleasant to be around, and isn't constantly tearing others down and/or complaining. Physical attraction isn't everything, but it is important. Obviously she doesn't have to be a supermodel, but she should at least care about her health and be willing to exercise. Health/nutrition is important to me so I'd like to be on the same page in this area. Responsibility, especially in the area of finances, is a big deal. Taking care of the money she has and not squandering it (and racking up unnecessary debt in the process) shows character. Likewise, it's also important have a giving heart with the resources that God has blessed us with.
  17. "Lock and Key"-thing

    I've heard this analogy pretty often. Surprisingly, I do think it holds some truth to it even though I disagree with it. Typically, men are the ones that have to 'pursue' women in order to obtain sex - he holds the key. The woman has the option to accept his offer or refuse it. A woman that says yes to every dude that approaches her may as well not even be a 'lock' since plenty of 'keys' have access to her. Likewise, a (non-waiter) guy is seen as more valuable since he's put in the effort to get more 'locks' to open for him. The problem that I have with the analogy is that it overlooks the value of a man saving himself. From a waiter's perspective, the ideal is an exclusive relationship between one key and one lock. Your car key is responsible for opening your car door, not your house's front door, briefcase, office door, etc.
  18. Random Thoughts

    Ah, nothing like perfect grilling weather on a Sunday afternoon.
  19. Random Thoughts

    From the looks of things, he thinks that the mini-rant you posted was aimed at him.
  20. Random Thoughts

    I wish all of this pollen would go away...
  21. Offensive words for guys

    I always saw "coward" as the ultimate insult towards a man, especially if it's coming from a woman.
  22. Halloween

    I was never allowed to celebrate Haloween as a kid. We'd go to church where they'd have games and candy for the kids, so I always had fun with it. As an adult, I'm pretty indifferent to the holiday, aside from taking advantage of the day after to get cheap candy.
  23. Is Virginity Really Attractive?

    Yeah, after doing some digging myself, I've come to learn that it's not virginity that's "attractive" so much as the attitude behind it. A guy who's a virgin because he's never had the opportunity is far different than a guy deliberately saving himself and making constant sacrifices in the process. The latter is far more attractive because he has the confidence and willpower to go against the grain, whereas the former is just some dude waiting for his chance to "get laid". As for your second point, believe it or not there are Christian/waiter women that find virginity in men unattractive. Some women want a guy that knows what he's doing on the wedding night because they don't like the idea of awkwardly fumbling around trying to figure stuff out. In other cases, a woman may find a man more desirable if he's had previous partners; if other women were willing to sleep with him he must be a man of good value. I don't mean to paint all women with a broad brush, as there are plenty (just look at this site) that can appreciate a man saving himself. That said, virginity tends to work in a woman's favor far more often than it does a man.
  24. Easter

    Happy Easter/Resurrection Sunday!
  25. Religious Freedom Restoration Act

    Not trying to derail the thread, but that statistic has been out in the open for quite some time now. Around at least 80-85% of Christians have sex before marriage: http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationship/features/28337-the-secret-sexual-revolution http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationships/almost-everyones-doing-it http://thinkprogress.org/politics/2011/09/29/331692/study-finds-huge-majority-of-young-evangelicals-have-pre-marital-sex-exposing-flaws-with-right-wing-attacks-on-sex-ed/ http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2011/09/27/why-young-christians-arent-waiting-anymore/