Buster Cannon

I feel like planning a proposal at this point is jumping the gun quite a bit. Every woman is different, and what works for one may not work for another. One may want a more public proposal, another might want something a bit more intimate. Plus with proposals you factor in the interests/hobbies of the woman you're with, so that's not something you can reasonably plan unless you already have someone.

Eh, base attraction is different for men and women. Men are wired to be primarily visual, so the physical aspect is what catches our attention first. I don't really think it's 'primitive', it's just how how we're built. On the other hand, women's base attraction tends to be a little more complex. Physical appearance matters to women as well, but there are other things that factor into it. How men are wired may be considered 'primitive' by comparison, but I just look at it as both genders being wired to find different things desirable in a mate. NOTE: When I say 'base attraction', I'm taking about the things that naturally catch someone's attention outside of your morals/beliefs/values etc.

Nope

- I really like the fact that I've "dodged a lot of bullets", so to speak. No having kids before I'm ready, no STDs, less temptation because I don't have any memories to draw from; I honestly have no regrets about putting dating off while I was in school. Even without sex, just not being 'jaded' from past relationships and having a clean slate is a great thing. - The feeling of 'going against the grain' is cool. In today's culture where hook-ups are common, being able to say "I'm saving sex until marriage" is acknowledging that I'm taking the road less traveled. Sure, being an outlier can be lonely at times, but at the same time I feel like I'm setting an example. A lot of people don't even think that it's possible to not have sex, and honestly it's a guilty pleasure of mine to see people's shocked reactions when they realise that you're a v-card holder.

Pretty much this. Fitness and nutrition are something that I'm into, and I'd need someone who's at least willing to eat better and exercise. She doesn't have to look like a supermodel, but she should be putting the effort in to be healthy. Body type is important to me in that there are certain ones that I don't find attractive. I know that inner beauty is important, but it's not mutually exclusive with outward appearance. If someone's super overweight I more than likely wouldn't find them physically attractive, even if they had the personality traits and values that I'm looking for in a future spouse.

I've struggled with this one a LOT, honestly it's the one hesitation that I've had in regards to dating. I graduated from college 2 years ago and I have a steady job, but I also live with my parents. I'm paying student loans off and the cost of living in my area is sky high! At this point I think there's something to be said about a couple that's willing to endure the growing financial pains of starting a career together. Society has us jumping through all these hoops before we're "ready for marriage", but I don't believe that it's supposed to be this way, especially since true 'stability' may not come for some folks until their early 30's. This is especially hard for waiters, as we're holding ourselves off while our hormones have been ready to go for years lol.

Welcome!

I disagree with the notion that someone can be a 'sincere Christian' while being a racist. They may have been saved, but I wouldn't consider them to be walking in their faith. Jesus said that the greatest commandment was to love your God will all of your heart, mind, and strength. The second is to love your neighbor as yourself. (Matthew 22:37-39) That said, I find it ridiculous that a practicing Christian can look at another human being and consider them 'inferior' based on the color of their skin. It runs against the heart of the Gospel entirely!

I'd pay it, especially in that situation since it would have been me asking her out in the first place lol. If I ask someone on a date, I shoulder the responsibility of making sure the date is well-planned and that it runs smoothly. That includes paying for dinner and all that jazz.

Interesting... I've always felt that long hair looked better on women b/c it had a more 'feminine' appearance to it. I've never been crazy about short hair but never really understood why, it's interesting to know what the natural (heh) reasons for that are.

Congrats!!!

I definitely prefer longer hair over shorter. Likewise, when it comes to black women, I much prefer the natural (but grown out) look. I'm a big fan of the twists and afros myself.

Are you making these changes just to be more attractive to women, or are you doing them out of a drive for self-improvement? If you're just doing it for women, you're going to look at the lack of results, get frustrated, and quit. Improvement takes time, far more than a week or 2 before you really see any results. I'd advise continuing to work on yourself, but do it for your own good and not because you think that women will flock to you for it.

Came across this article, has a lot of good advice IMO. Thoughts?

http://jamaica-gleaner.com/article/lead-stories/20150506/100-year-old-virgin-say-no-sex-and-yes-god Wow, that's impressive!

That's the comedian, Larry David. If I'm not mistaken he was one of the writers for 'Seinfeld'.

I was just humorously pointing out that Jegsy was listed as the 'newest member' at the top:

Like Steadfast Madcap said, someone having kids doesn't disqualify them from being a waiter. However, them having kids would definitely be a dealbreaker for me in terms of dating them. Honestly, I'd much rather start my own family instead of jumping into a ready-made one. It's an easier adjustment, there's no potential drama with the child's birth father, and we get to learn how to be parents together. With a blended family situation, I'd have to be a father from day one, meanwhile I'm still trying to get the hang of the husband thing.

My belief is this: doing the right thing doesn't guarantee us happiness. Waiting is hard, no doubt, but at the same time I don't believe that I'm owed a spouse just for doing it. "Doing the right thing is its own reward" and all that jazz. We aren't being "penalized", it's just the simple fact that in 2015, these streets aren't exactly waiter-friendly. The best thing a waiter can do is continue to develop grow (spiritually/mentally/physically/career/etc.), so that they continue to become a stronger version of themselves. The waiting process itself builds character.

Enjoy! As they say, when in Rome...eh, I've got nothing.

I've been to a few, the last one I went to was a couple weeks ago when my cousin got married.

Sleeping in an airport overnight when your flight is cancelled...definitely an experience that I don't want to relive.

For what it's worth, the author of the article posted a follow-up article addressing the inquiries in the area of independence: https://deepstrength.wordpress.com/2015/05/01/independent-versus-self-sufficient-and-responsible/ @Jegsy: I think you took some of the author's pints to the logical extreme lol. Just a few notes based on your post: - In general, lifting heavy weights doesn't turn you into a super muscle-y dude. You'll look leaner and more toned, but getting huge is something entirely different. - Speaking slowly in terms of not rushing your words, not sounding like a condescending jerk lol. As someone who's struggled with talking too fast in the past, the worst thing that can happen is someone asking you to repeat yourself. Speaking slowly and more deliberately gives your audience the opportunity to follow along with you comfortably - Sitting with your legs slightly open is much different than going full spread eagle. The point is that you want to look comfortable in your surroundings, not hunched up and timid - If a guy struggles with insecurity thinking that he might not get married, he needs to work on that. Part of developing attractiveness for a man involves building confidence. As a Christian, his confidence should come first and foremost from God, but also through overcoming challenges, taking steps to improve in weak areas, etc. - A lot of this stuff may look like common sense, but as the saying goes, common sense isn't so common. You'd be surprised at the attitudes/assumptions of the average church goer

Welcome!