Buster Cannon

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Everything posted by Buster Cannon

  1. Singlehood

    Assuming that you aren't a proponent of divorce, choosing a spouse is a VERY critical decision, even more so as a waiter where you're choosing a single sexual partner 'until death do us part'. If there's ever a time to be picky, this is it.
  2. I don't typically bring up my 'waiting status' in casual conversation, but in the few instances where I did, I've never actually been made fun of. Sometimes folks are a little surprised, but then they're like "I respect that, I just couldn't do it". This tends to be my personal favorite reaction. It's funny when people outright refuse to believe that you haven't had sex, since virgins tend to be stereotyped so negatively in the media. Nope, we're just regular people lol. EDIT: Actually, this reminds me of something that I saw a while ago - Folks can make judgements based on how you dress and how confident you are.
  3. Engagement rings?

    Someone on the comments section made a good point: In marriage, the both of you are combining your finances. If the man goes into debt because he buys an expensive ring, this affects her finances directly because now both of you are short on cash. The money that went to the ring could have went to something far more important like a house.
  4. You might be ATTRACTED to someone at first sight, but certainly not in love with them. You still have to learn about the other person, and that's a process that can take quite some time. It certainly isn't something that you can figure out just by a first encounter.
  5. Random Thoughts

    Miles "Tails" Prower Miles Prower ... Miles Per Hour... I know I'm like 20 years late on this one, but I never picked up on the fact that his name was a pun.
  6. Came across this vid on Facebook: While I don't agree with the opinion of the guy in the vid at all (he does have some other really good vids), it does raise an interesting question. Thoughts? Personally, I couldn't do it. I feel that this is a little further beyond simply overlooking someone's past, because now you're talking about willingly contracting a disease. That's something that I'd rather avoid to be honest.
  7. When you say that you aren't sure how you feel about her, what do you mean? Do you have a good idea of what you're looking for in a wife? I say this because knowing what you want puts you in a better position to evaluate her and see whether you want to take things further. You'll know what questions to ask to find out the things about her that you consider important. That said, it may not be a bad idea to ask her on a date. It may be a good opportunity to get to know her better, and you're in a better position to see whether you want to move on to something more serious or not.
  8. NYC pastor's list of men/women to avoid marrying

    That's more of an "exception but not the rule" type of thing. God often had the prophets do some pretty out-there stuff for the sake of illustration. In Hosea's case, marrying Gomer was God's way of showing the Israelites how they were treating Him. That doesn't necessarily mean that God wants us all to go out and marry prostitutes. What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? 2 Certainly not! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it? (Romans 6:1-2) Grace is what saves us from the eternal consequences of sin, but that doesn't mean that we're supposed to just do whatever we want in the meantime. Walking with Christ is a journey, complete with many failures - as humans we're imperfect and we can't uphold God's standard 100% of the time. That doesn't mean that we can't do our best to try, but we'll always fall short.
  9. Eh, everyone has those awkward social moments, just try not to focus on them as much. I've had moments that make me cringe looking back at them even now, but chances are that you're looking at them far more critically than your friends are. The best thing to do is come to terms with what happened, examine it (and see where you can make corrections if possible), and then let it go. Past social failures can really get you down if you let them.
  10. Greetings From Texas

    Welcome to the site!
  11. Last Meal?

    At that point, all of my nutritional standards would fly out of the window lol. Give me a large order of General Tso's Chicken with a big Cinnabon for dessert. *drools*
  12. How much does money matter?

    Lol, you definitely don't need a new car. Shoot, I'm driving a '97 Toyota Corolla with over 250k miles on it, and I'm gonna ride this thing out until it dies. It's paid for, the maintenance is dirt cheap, it's reliable, and it gets me where I need to go. I would hang on that Honda as long as possible if I were you, at 130k miles that thing is still a baby. Also, I don't recommend getting stuff to impress people. Telling someone that they need a new car because it's a little old is very shallow and ignorant. Some of the wealthiest people drive older and less flashy cars. It's financially smart, and it also shows that you're secure enough to not need to 'prove' your wealth to others.
  13. Have you ever been arrested?

    I've been pulled over once; went through a crosswalk without stopping for a passenger that wanted to cross. It was completely my fault since I didn't pay attention to the "you MUST stop for pedestrians" sign, but thankfully the officer let me off with a warning. As a black man in America, this just makes me go
  14. Ehh... I think his general premise is good; encouraging young ladies to stay away from guys that would cause her to compromise in the area of purity. That's a positive thing. I also liked the fact that he explained how sex bonds individuals and that it shouldn't be taken lightly. However, I didn't care for the way he throws dudes under the bus. He does nothing but compliment women, but for the guys you constantly hear "boys are dumb" along with different things that guys need to do better in their relationships with women. I don't know if he realizes this, but men aren't the only gender that tend to pressure/manipulate others to get sex. Encouraging purity is a great thing, but that "only real man in the room" routine where you put other guys down while holding women up as flawless just isn't a good look.
  15. Appearance!

    I honestly don't feel any pressure to look a certain way. Sure, in movies you see folks with perfect six packs, but I don't feel like I have to look like that. I eat healthy and exercise frequently, but it's more for me than it is to attract someone. Physical attractiveness tends to be more important on women than it is for men. That said, exercise does help with a man building his attractiveness, but it's not necessarily related to how he looks. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle can help build confidence and discipline, which are attractive traits.
  16. Random Thoughts

    Man, this healthy eating stuff is serious business. I had a dream last night that I drank a large slurpee from 7-Eleven, woke up feeling super guilty about it. :/
  17. Motivation Thread

    One of my favorites!
  18. Let's talk about Jesus and waiting.

    Good topic! A few thoughts: 1) As Christians we are called to love everyone, showing grace, compassion, and the fruits of the Spirit. Showing love and choosing someone as a lifelong marriage partner are two completely different ballgames. Personally, I think it's wise to be discerning when it comes to looking for a spouse. 2) A person's past isn't a forgiveness issue when considering someone for marriage. They didn't sin against you, they sinned against God, so there isn't a burden of forgiveness of your end. You make the choice as to whether you want to accept the person and move forward in the relationship. If you don't feel like you'd be comfortable with someone that has a sexual history, that's fair. If sexual history doesn't bother you, that's fine too. There's no 'right' preference, everyone has their own threshold for what they can and can't handle. 3) Biblically, divorce is only stated as 'okay' in the case of adultery. Once you commit to a spouse, the relationship is supposed to be 'til death do us part'.
  19. When marriage begins

    My personal view is that sex is what "marries" the two individuals in God's eyes (Gen 2:24 - two becoming one flesh), the wedding itself is the public proclamation and celebration of that commitment. If you go through with a marriage ceremony but never consummate it, I wouldn't consider it 'valid'.
  20. Free the nipple?

    Simply put, men are wired to be attracted to breasts and fat around the hips to some degree. A lower waist-to-hip ratio and fat around the breasts/hips signals health and fertility. A fat stomach...not so much. There's nothing inherently wrong with that, it's just the way we were designed. Shoot, at least a fat stomach can be changed with proper diet and exercise. Women for the most part tend to be attracted to taller guys, but it's not like our height is something that we have any control over lol.
  21. Name someone you particularly like on this site!

    There are a lot of folks here that I respect or otherwise think are great people. The ones that stand out for me are Vince and Olivier, mainly because I'm often shocked at how much we tend to agree on stuff lol. They're both friendly yet honest, and aren't the type to compromise their opinion even though it may be unpopular.
  22. Random Thoughts

    *hears discussion about food* *ears perk up*
  23. To piggyback off of Queen's post, I'd definitely recommend refining your conversational skills. It's hard to really critique you because we haven't seen you in action, but there are a few pointers I can give: - Active listening; if a person tells you something about themselves, make a mental note of it. You definitely want to remember their name, but also their interests, etc. Also, make eye contact and nod to show that you're paying attention. - Ask questions! If someone drops information about something they like, don't be afraid to go in further. If you're talking to a girl and she says that she likes skiing, you can go with some follow up questions. "How long have you been skiing?" "How did you get into skiing?" "What's the most interesting thing that's happened when you were skiing?" Questions not only show interest, they also take a lot of the conversational burden off of yourself. People generally love to talk about themselves lol. - Try to be generally friendly. Using humor is a great way to break down barriers in a conversation. Don't be afraid to crack [an appropriate] joke every now and then.
  24. Steve Harvey Show - Virgin Daters

    Hope was the first thing that I felt after watching it. WTM.org is a community where there's support and camaraderie, and it's definitely a valuable resource. Still, there's just something about seeing waiters (especially male waiters!) on national TV being portrayed as down-to-earth human beings that makes me smile.
  25. Proposals

    I feel like planning a proposal at this point is jumping the gun quite a bit. Every woman is different, and what works for one may not work for another. One may want a more public proposal, another might want something a bit more intimate. Plus with proposals you factor in the interests/hobbies of the woman you're with, so that's not something you can reasonably plan unless you already have someone.